JohnnyoftheWell
step aside Charli XCX there is a new phrase and its Magdalena Bay Fall. ?Imaginal Disk? is the sophomore record from duo Magdalena Bay
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Last Active 01-01-70 12:00 am
Joined 01-01-70

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 Lists
09.12.24 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group B ♦09.10.24 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group A
09.04.24 S e p t e m b e r of POP ♦08.31.24 Sputnik User Pokedex (V2??) ♦
08.27.24 every Melt-Banana album best song08.09.24 new State Faults r a n k e d
07.21.24 math rock that isn't garbage07.11.24 good 2024 music haha??? (HELP)
07.09.24 ECM jazz **in THIS economy**????06.29.24 good artwork list ♦
06.17.24 101 electronic :: no Aut*chre ♦05.26.24 SPUT RETAKE: Apple Top 100 ♦
05.17.24 GHOST folk ♦05.11.24 what's good sputnik
05.10.24 Aquemini ranked04.25.24 REC me glitch/downtempo/IDM
04.16.24 All Blonde Redhead songs RANKED ♦03.28.24 OED Japanese imports RANKED (Q1 2024) ♦
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Sputnik User Pokedex (V2??)

What's up yes we have done this before yes we didn't finish last time no I don't care get in the Pokedex. No movesets, vibes only, comment and be added lfg.
1The Ex
Pokkeherrie

johnnyoftheWell
SLOWPOKE

Lives in a well, naps, daydreams innit
2Lil Ugly Mane
Volcanic Bird Enemy and the Voiced Concern

budgie
FARFETCH'D

Dumb fuckin bird lol
3Bob James
Jazz Hands

anat
MIME JR.

Inscrutable sass, impossible to predict when it will evolve out of its contrib phase, impossible to visualise in a non-anthropomorphic form
4The Cardigans
Emmerdale

efp123
ELECTRIKE

Leaps and bounds around zapping out cursory but welcome expressions of strong opinions, ambiguous evolutionary potential but energetic enough not to need this
5Rosetta
Wake/Lift

Relinquished
REGIROCK

Primordial stoney titan that exists in association with 4-5 other legendary giants no one can remember the names or personalities of -- but this one somehow stood the test of time. Makes for a convenient synecdoche of its legendary pantheon in the same way that Relinquished is the only takeaway most of us need from old school Sputnik
6Meitei
Kwaidan / 怪談

Ryus
SABLEYE

No cave deep enough to get away from this one, but it's more into sneaky, stealthy antics than taking chunks out of anyone. Impossible tell its age -- looks and acts relatively childlike in some ways, but in others it's a timeless ancient ghost interchangeable with all the other timeless ancient ghosts that do things you ignore in dark caves.
7Kanye West
The College Dropout

AsleepInTheBack
TEDDIURSA

Speaks in a language of hugs, but limited use in a fight - likely acquired for its well-known evolutionary potential to turn into a bitching, roaring, scratching tank bear, but more than gets by on noises of endearment.
8Visit Kalvhaga
hardcore ambient

Sniff
NOSEPASS

are you fucking kidding me 3.5 pokemon
9Dolly Parton
Jolene

Zac124
SENTRET

Strong starting-area vibes, endearing pose but naive centre of gravity placement means it loses balance easily. Can't remember what it turns into, but not averse to finding out!
10King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard
I'm In Your Mind Fuzz

Mort.
PSYDUCK

Widely-loved mascot commonly associated with whatever got people into Pokemon to begin with, irrevocably tied to juvenilia, prone to causing public commotion and damaging itself when it engages with deep thought patterns, very easy to mother (... and best experienced through its role in that ADORABLE stop-motion adaptation? What are you hiding, Mort?)
11Little Dragon
Slugs of Love

arthropod
GASTRODON

Floats around amorphously, has multiple forms that I lack the familiarity to identify
12Cynic
Traced in Air

Havey
UXIE

Initially intriguing for its wavy celestial aura and shredded psychic stats, but ultimately most potent for the force of its yawn. Parodies the old "no man is an island" axiom by coyly hermitting in a rock in the middle of a national attraction that any old 12 y/o tosspot with a brace of Pokeballs and enough main character energy can rock up to at their leisure. Deceptively easy to catch, good floaty pal once in the bag.
13Oneohtrix Point Never
Replica

NexCeleris
GHASTLY

The vibe I'm getting here is very much the facade of a grizzly, ghostly pit-haunting metalhead camouflaging a good-natured goof. Do you ever know what to expect from Ghastly? Is it going to add to the oversaturation of mfking ghosts in that there ruin, or is it going to appear from nowhere while you're thirsting in your bedroom just in time to share its full collection of duck nudes? The duality of sput.
14Boris
Heavy Rocks

botb
GRAVELER

Reps that good bonehead hardcore energy, but has good utility no matter your team and is easy to encounter across a variety of regions. Much like botb's Viper av, this guy showing up often telegraphs that a large amount of shit is going to be promptly+succinctly dumped on someone, but if you're rocking the kind of ill-advised antics that get you pwned by a Graveler, you almost certainly had it coming.
15Red Krayola with Art and Language
Kangaroo?

belovddd
KANGASKHAN

Dench Aussie cunt fluffy sweetheart who don't give a fuck about your rulez but will make himself an iconic feature of your landscape. Like all aggro marsupials, kangabello has seen some shit and developed some dubious coping mechanisms that involve people being kicked in the guy with fatal toes and/or terrible lyrics, but he's too full of life and quick on his paws to be pinned down that easily! Looks cute with a kid in his pouch.
16Meat Loaf
Bat Out of Hell

Futures
ZUBAT

Was poisonous unviable trash in its release generation, added evolutionary functionality in later gens has someone turned the page but is only accessible under the influence of weirdly high friendship. Hard to avoid in any version of the game.
17The Black Dog
Spanners

FowlKrietzsche
ZORUA

Mascot-viable version of a long-needed Pokemon that offers obvious appeal to connoisseurs of the franchise, but hit the scene as soon as the games started to turn to bullshit. Too cute to be edgy, but will one day evolve into a fire-spamming darkness motherfuck of an antihero-mon that will lay all obstructive garbagemons to waste and make you question how good you feel from exploiting its services.
18Mamaleek
Diner Coffee

tectactoe
DROWZEE

Crusty, dad-shaped, jazz hands waving headache Pokemon that peaked to a brutal degree in gen 1 but will still insist on flashing hypnosis at you like it's the coolest fucking thing you've ever seen. Site has enough impressionable high schoolers to sustain the illusion.
19Nadja
Radiance of Shadows

Icebloom
SNOVER

Gonna be honest, I straight-up googled Grass/Ice type Pokemon for this (in the vague knowledge that there was something iconic there), but credit where it's due, Snover knows what it's about. It might have been a bullshit gimmick Pokemon, but it taps into the endurance, patience and environmental sensitivity endemic to both types and comes out a solid, maybe even necessary addition to the canon -- and if that's not the energy Icebloom brings to the more patient side of Sput's indie rock wing (all while avoiding all the pedestrian and/or butt country foibles repped by most members of that tribe), I don't know what is
20Bell Witch
Mirror Reaper

artiswar
WOBBUFFET

Individually harmless Pokemon that has pissed enough people off with cheap contrarian antics and one-time Team Rocket fraternisation to incur a reputation more serious than its power level really warrants
21Natural Snow Buildings
Laurie Bird

DadKungFu
ARTICUNO

Is it a weathered folk legend or a shiny, party-topping acquisition that sets you up for pretty much anything the lategame has to offer? Porque no los duos? DKF is capable of icy reserve when need be (and is famously unconfrontational outside of that one movie where whichever villain hits the legendary bird mons with bad juju), but his mobility, versatility and high level of experience-on-encounter ultimately do the talking. Not sure if he's the kind of dad capable of physically carrying you to any given location per your whim, but I'm certainly not going to rule that out as another potential parallel.
22Boris
Amplifier Worship

CugnoBrasso
FROAKIE

Don't play coy with me Cugno, I know your game here.
23Glove
Boom Nights

Muppelope
SHUPPET

This one is a longstanding association that definitely has nothing to do with your avatar or the number of ps in your name. There's almost certainly a better comparison if we look a little deeper, but I'm not gonna waste my hunch!
24Pokemon
Pocket Monsters Original Soundtrack Best 1997-2010

pizzamachine
PIKACHU

It's an electric pokemon (basically a machine) that looks like a pizza - and if that's not enough, it fluctuates between burgeoning main character energy and being an unhelpful feral rodent. Never not a mascot.
25Machine Head
Unto The Locust

widowslaugh123
SCYTHER

Alright, you can be Scyther - but *not* because you asked for it! You fly in out of nowhere and make a lorge impact where it counts, bringing a mean edge to a team but equally happy flying alone. You subvert the immaturity typically associated with the Bug type (which here = RHCP fandom) with the so-what attitude of a non-evo Pokemon, and by the same token you're pretty easy to take on your own terms at any given level - none of that awkward early-game peak.
26Cosmo Sheldrake
Pelicans We

FearThyEvil
PELIPPER

U-Turn
Stockpile
Spit Up
Swallow

easy target for other birds.
27Bjork
Fossora

Valzentia
GLOOM

A real shrub in a land of 'industry plants', 100% organic and almost household-friendly, but routinely airs off a moderate volume of poisonous spores that tend to land wherever the wind blows.
28Within Temptation
Ice Queen

Spec
FROSLASS

You are cute and huggable but there is too much frosty distance o no.
29The Pogues
Peace and Love

Butkuiss
LUCARIO

Lucario gets a rep as a disciplined zen-mon who has at least most of his shit together, but I'm not buying it. There are just too many possibilities, too many *vibe* going on here to be contained by one Pokemon's composure. Want a shredded fuck-dog who will roll with anything you hurl at him and then make a mockery of your strongest blows with a momentum-inverting palm blast? Yow. Want a rogue special-type mon who brings unlikely stats to unlikely encounters and plays mind games when everyone else is throwing their own poo? Bow-wow. Want a twinky minx-hound who wears too much eyeliner and plays coy right up until he wipes out in a dustbin with seven recently-drained bottles of Jack as a pillow? There's almost certainly lewd fanart for that. Woof. Any one of these guises is individually sound, but the ambiguity of which-Lucario-are-we-going-up-against-today leaves Butkuiss as one loose cannon yessir.
30Rush
Fly by Night

ArsMoriendi
HOOTHOOT

Has latent detective energy but peaks at the stage of standing on one leg and looking around quizzically. Technically a flying type, but in practice more likely to be used as a volleyball by inconsiderate trainers. Wide eyes and arcane owl symbolism suggest psychedelic compatibility, but its weakness to electricity suggests that it is unlikely to put itself in a situation where its brain circuits ever get properly fried. Nocturnal tendencies mean that it is late to every conversation. Accessible in the early game, but rarely used for combat.
31Shinedown
Threat to Survival

Sharenge
EKANS

Cold-blood master of misdirection, (probably) capable of dishing out venom or paralysing stares, but generally avoids confrontation and uses its well-adjusted taste buds to read the room. Knows your pulse better than its own, and your reptile brain also. Occupies an intriguing middle ground where it is neither to be feared nor underestimated.
32Darkside
Psychic

Frippertronics
ESPEON

Owner of the most deadpan resting sass face in the Pokedex, which it backs with the kind of tough love that non-psychic types simply do not get. Rocks an inscrutably benevolent aura but will discharge an encyclopedia's worth of pointed critique if it detects offensive levels of idiocy. Hard to evolve given its elusive relationship to the high levels of camaraderie required, but well worth the effort; the Eeveelution family wouldn't be the same without it (and not in the token capacity that goes for all its cousins).
33Krallice
Porous Resonance Abyss

Snake.
SHUCKLE

Snakelike and prehensile in appearance and certainly able to project a viperous level of intimidation where it counts, but ultimately defined by its defensive qualities and sensitive side. The actual irl Pokedex says that it ferments ingested berries and emits enough acid to dissolve literal rocks, which is all the more reason not to get on the wrong side of its highly distinctive extra/intro duality (when push comes to shove, Shell Smash is one of the most frustrating moves to deal with in a competitive context, but you'd have to push pretty hard to get things there)
34The Vapors
Magnets

Avagantamos
MAGNETON

Based electronic overlord satellite hero object. Superior circuitboards in the form of a beloved household device. Has no time for the pseud mind-shit mech bollocks pulled by its closest competitors (Bronzong, Klingklang) - Magneton just rocks and zaps, and is refreshingly easy to take on its own terms. Powers of electromagnetic attraction will often produce finds you had no idea you needed in your life.
35Bulb
Archives: Orchestral

YoYoMancuso
BULBASAUR

Is as foundational to the Sput meta as Bulbasaur is to the og starter combo. Its latent emo energy is vegetative rather than histrionic (good thing), its evolutionary stages are true to its original self (none of the fragility of those big dongus wings or shoulder cannons - this boi knows better than to overcompensate), further distinguishes itself against its peers by taking things slow enough to, I dunno, read a fucking book once in a while. Is invariably cute when it leaps into action and lashes out a vine whip.
36Alice Cooper
Trash

Colton
TRUBBISH

Little to elaborate on here: it's a literal embodiment of Pokemon trash and the best move it can ever learn involves it blowing itself to pieces for trainer entertainment. It may be largely insignificant in the base games but I've seen it make a nasty impact in hacked ROMs.
37Echo and The Bunnymen
Crocodiles

Drifter
CROCONAW

Big mouth, big teeth, half-developed chud who is most definitely wearing a nappy. Has aggressive potential, but the harder it snaps, the more you just want to be a dad to it. You encountered it halfway through its evolutionary timeline and have no idea how it made it this far, or when it will reach its peak. Has unnerving synergy with problematic, abusive trainers, but this goes for all Gen 2 starters and is only the case if you don't choose it for yourself first.
38Chairlift
Moth

el_newg
VOLCARONA

Okay, honest to heck this Pokemon was my first thought for you based on aesthetics and the not very much I know about it, so all I'm gonna read into it is that you are a big ol' fire bug that sometimes hides away and sometimes creeps out of the woodwork to dish out a sick burn don't sweat it.
39Shannon And The Clams
Onion

onionbubs
ODDISH

Yes it is a fucking root vegetable. It looks like it's best pals with Shroomish and all the other psych-coded plants, and it has a cute smile so we love it! Represents a lineage of underwhelming poison-type Pokemon (stg I didn't think Gloom would be coded as shit metalcore when I paired it with Valzentia, but we're rolling with it), but is cute and fresh enough that we can all see those roots are still good at this point in the timeline.
40Haken
Fauna

Calc
AIPOM

Sure as Calc is a Sputnik user, so too is Aipom 100% a Pokemon. It blends into the landscape so easily that you may struggle to fingerpoint it in a... forest of... Pokemon(?), but it's well-equipped to deal with pretty much anything that comes its way. Learns Baton Pass as well as any good team player, but gets a few neat buffs and stat adjusters that make an undervalued utility mon. Probably quietly prolific (it's a monkey, give me a break here)?
41Kim Petras
Slut Pop

alamo
LOPUNNY

absolutely no explanation necessary
42Alter Bridge
Fortress

Slex
FORRETRESS

All your baby trainer/Sput 101 Bug-isms beefed up in a chonk Steel frame that can shrug off a bafflingly wide range of attack types and is well-equipped for an offensive playstyle, but draws more than necessary from its defensive moves in the interactions I've had. An asset to any time, such that it invariably seems like a waste that it pulls a Self-Destruct every once in a while when you're playing against it.
43Clover (US-CA)
Clover

Trifolium
FLABEBE

Sunshine fairy flower clover DUH
44Kathryn Williams
Over Fly Over

brainmelter
PIDGEOTTO

There are four kinds of Pokebirds (and tbh Sput users): idiot flock creatures, tragic evolutionary accidents, artillery-baiting chuds, and chads with wings. I'm glad to say bmelt falls into the fourth camp and, much like Pidgeotto, is among the least ostentatious of his kind when it comes to flexing his credentials. Well-adjusted enough to retain a Normal dual-typing, but not so basic that you'll ever define it by this: this isn't a Pokeflex, it's a solid staple that will have you covered for (almost) any given showdown.
45Twisted Sister
Stay Hungry

Manatea
MORPEKO

The duality of 'mon: Morpeko is a wholesome adorable creature that would be the star of any tea party, but goes full myxomatosis and tries to suck nutrition out of open mass-produced metalcore sewage pipes if you forget to feed it enough pastoral jazz records. Not so much a good cop/bad cop deal as a cute pettable mon that must be treasured and fed and encouraged to choose life.
46The Game
LAX

insomniac15
MUNCHLAX

Full disclosure, I could not think of a Pokemon to represent you and was going to go with Snorlax because of the obstacle this posed to the list, but you didn't pose this problem directly - your comment only grew into it! You are therefore Munchlax, who is about as cute as you can be while still definitely resemblig a Marilyn Manson supporter.
47Kid Rock
The History of Rock

rockarollacola
ROGGENROLA

you knew this would happen
48Kalmah
Swamplord

ffs
MUK

All riffs and no play make you... well, whatever the shit this is. Can't shade it though: Muk's fate as a living biohazard suits it much better than most of the 'mons on the death metal crackpipe. It has outgrown the need for a reptilian brain but can still interface with those in touch with theirs thanks to above-average environmental awareness (it is a swamp). Ruthless, succinct and undramatic when it comes to dragging those who have forfeited their right to sympathy (it is a swamp). Impossible to tell when it is presenting its natural outlook and when it has been literally drenched in beer, but this ambiguity is oddly flattering. Also DO NOT BRING YOUR EVIL INTO MY SWAMP.
49Queens of the Stone Age
Split: Queens of the Stone Age/Beaver

Storm In A Teacup
BIDOOF

Quietly industrious, will learn pretty much any HM you throw at it despite having a type alignment that starts and ends at the normalcy level associated with a middle school Coheed and Cambria infatuation, will never evolve (but only because you would never ask this of it), generally candid but able to use that derpy innocent babybeaverface to pass off the most hysterical fibs in circumstances that (mostly) beg for them: Bidoof is likely the first Pokemon you add to your party and the last you're forced to put back into the PC. You *will* absolutely PC dump it for the same reasons that you never send it out in battle, but this happens safe in the knowledge that there will always be a tree for it to eat or an ocean you need it to sit on. Don't undervalue Bidoof. Bidoof's back. Baby.
50Magma
1001° Centigrades

keaton_86
MAGMAR

Joined 10-05-05
Review Comments 823

Has been around since the very beginning, but somehow seems like a fresh addition every time it pops up in a subsequent generation. No one has ever caught one or entirely made up their mind how to feel about it.
51Ghost (SWE)
Meliora

Ectier
SHEDINJA

Endearing floaty ghost creature that is inexplicably invulnerable to most of the world's evils, but getting under its skin is fatal and it interacts in a way that would make you feel like a giant arsehole for exploiting its vulnerabilities. Not a moth. Quite a rare evolution - treasure it
52Hippo Campus
Bashful Creatures EP

BitterJalapenoJr
HIPPOPTAS

Oscillates between being the world's happiest eater and falling asleep in its own sandbath. Sensitive to telluric vibrations while in the bath state UNTSS UNTSS UNTSS can (probably) annihilate a steak when in active form. As easy to associate with childish paraphernalia (Hungry Hippo milkshake wrappers, Blink-182 jewel cases) as with probably the most awful death metal-worthy oral hygiene an animal can flex, but unlike its senior evo Hippowdon, the former side defines it more. Strong mammalian sensibilities.
53Death in June
But, What Ends When the Symbols Shatter?

Dedes
LARVITAR

Ashes to ashes rocks to rock earth to earth Dedes to Dedes. Larvitar is generally considered a big find and there was definitely a lot to get excited about if you snagged it in gen 2, but it also has a few warning signs that will quickly indicate whether you're down to put in the grind for it. Its blase youthful qualities are charming from one perspective or fruitlessly stubborn from another (see the review for this album), and while it's not the fully-fledged boneheaded plus-size emo melt that Tyranitar eventually becomes there are definitely indications of the sulkmon to come. It also gets absolutely shredded by Water attacks or anything else that lacks fixed dimensions or very graspable structured form. Future iterations on its basic theme (Aron jfc) are a much more tedious investment, so we'll chalk it up as a decent showing for its niche.
54Meet Cute
Party Mind

Rolling Girl
RALTS

Shiny resplendent psych-glam being that shows up abruptly, disappears without warning and always, always has its mojo and zazz together jfc I didn't need to think this one through at all.
55Rush
Signals

jrlikestodance
GROWLITHE

mf got fire but mostly he's just chilling
56Jack Johnson
In Between Dreams

theBoneyKing
TORTERRA

Resisting the obvious temptation to pick Marowak, Boney is the most incontrovertibly rigidly herb-ishly Grass-type user we've seen so far on this list, and so we have Torterra. It appreciates structure, consistency, coherent design etcetc, but only if they're presented at a pace a literal giant tortoise carting a literal tree across the earth can keep track on. Torterra picks no bones about this: you either take it on its own terms, or, well, there it goes again. A steadfast asset if you can keep the km/h and stimulation rate low enough. Boney's affinity with boots-on-the-earth pedestrian Americana nets him a dual Ground-type, but honestly the whiff of country around this boi is so strong that comparing him with any vividly-coloured imaginary creature from a Japanese video game feels fundamentally off from the get-go. The things I do for (...) science.
57Mew
Eggs Are Funny

DocSportello
MEW

Itinerant tenuously mythical floating inspiration ancient-child meaning-of-life Pokemon, rare enough that a moment in its presence is a blessing few recognise the meaning of, a million times more intelligent and a million times again less intelligible than any of us, too precious for life, too silly for death, psychic in a way people are still trying to figure out what to do with, indifferent enough to the passage of time that it's always ready to pick off from way back when, but also liable to leave you on a
58Yasuaki Shimizu
Kakashi

MillionDead
MEOWTH

Loud earnest Pokemon who's not entirely sure how he ended up with the company he keeps but will sure as shit speak his mind about it whenever they give him an opportunity. Too jovial to be a true devil's advocate, forever on a mission to eradicate the faintest hint of subtext from any given scene. Claws can probably leave a scratch - but have they? Too much of a Karen be anything but Normal-type, but franchise fans would be mad to imagine the series without it. Dubiously significant in the games - goes through enough shit in the anime that no one wants to mess it around any further.
59Weezer
Weezer

nightbringer
WEEDLE

Only ever learns two moves (Poison Sting, String Shot), both of which are so dire that seeing them used in any battle whatsoever invariably looks like a bad decision. Fairly harmless Pokemon though, certainly not something that will inconvenience you outside of the very early game.
60Water Shrew Trio
Following the Lichen into the Brush

Demon of the Fall
SANDSHREW

Alternates between hiding underground and putting on a scratchy defensive front. Similar issues to Dedes-LARVITAR when it comes to being vulnerable to Water attacks (aka unstructured or intuitive forms), but this also applies to the flow of chaotic discourse -- easily confusable, though hard to knock out entirely. Memorable and sympathetic for its iconic appearance early in the anime as an overtrained Pokemon in the throes of Stockholm syndrome thanks to its *way* intense trainer -- we will read this as Demon's continued recovery from his days of megametal (both the halitosis and cheese camps) and continue cheer him on as he uh finds new uh habitats. Yes.
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