I'll believe it when I see it.
Digging: Chapel of Disease - ...and as We Have Seen the Storm, We Have Embraced
Cool so it has a chance to come out around 2028/29.
tool enters puscifer, until its perfect circles until shoot forth children of anachronistic dynasty..
Digging: Sonny Sharrock - Black Woman
Could’ve sworn these kind of announcements were being said two years ago as well. I’ll believe it when I see it 
I don't remember previous announcements of them in the recording studio being this publicized. All the band member's social media accounts and the main Tool one wouldn't be saying these things if they weren't true. Things are happening.
Digging: Prefab Sprout - Steve McQueen
They’re just pulling our leg again lol
The Duke Nukem Forever of metal
Not counting on anything until there's a release date. Probably the same day as the new Limp Bizkit album.
I thought they finished the album like two years ago and it was gonna be a two and a half hour double album and...
I'll believe it when the fucking vinyl is on my record player and even then it might still be a hoax
zero fucks given
Digging: Jeru the Damaja - The Sun Rises in the East
Tool enter studio...and on second thought, walk out.
Digging: The Mercury Tree - Permutations
Aaaaand nobody cares
Digging: Black Funeral - Empire of Blood
no wait, no I dont.
Digging: Limp Bizkit - Stampede of the Disco Elephants
Digging: Power Trip - Manifest Decimation
Yeah we will see if this is true or not...
Digging: Obliteration - Cenotaph Obscure
Oh man a Tool news article, I wonder if Thrustwaz is h... yep, he's in here
band sucks, should stay in hiatus
Digging: Nosvrolok - Rare and Unreleased 1996 - 2009
Aren't they all like 50 now or something?
YES! ONLY FIVE MORE YEARS TO GO!
Hue hue hue
This is legit. All of the songs have been sent to Maynard and he's written the lyrics. All they need to do now is record them to album versions and mix, engineer etc. I'm sure it won't come out next month, but if all they have to do is actually record the album, it won't be too long. Safe to say, not another 12 years.
It's been 12 years they're not making another fucking album rofl
finally our post-grunge tingled buttprog overlords have returned!
I want a news report every time any one of them strikes a chord.
"I'll believe it when the fucking vinyl is on my record player and even then it might still be a hoax"
Not time for April fools yet guys
it's gonna be a 3.5 at best when it comes out in 2032
I'll believe it when I see it. 
This is unbelievable.
I'll believe it when I see it. 
I'll believe it when SOAD realise a new album too.
band sucks, should stay in hiatus 
well, continuing pretending they're making any progress just fuels the fire
The same people who are in disbelief and throwing temper tantrums will be the same people 5ing the new album. I'll keep this page saved for future hypocrisy references.
more like 3.5
I've been reading these news the last couple of years
band sucks, should stay in hiatus 
they've said this shit how many fucking times already? fuck em
I actually believe this.
You should... the people that don't, think Earth is flat and get vaccines. Just sayin...
"I actually believe this"
poor ugly thing
People still care about this band?
Digging: Failure - In The Future Your Body Will Be The Furthest Thing From Your Mind
don't get vaccines
Do you think the members of Tool are vaccinated
Are BurnMyThighs and Aiwaz the same person? :S
"nobody cares"......Album then goes on and tops every chart in it's first week of release
I'll burn your thighs instead of getting vaccinated
@Tw1ster, no one cares bro those two guys are the authority on Tool on the website. Bow down
Do you have something to prove? lol
No one cares Darius
"he's a fucking faggot"
What's it all for. What's it all mean. What's life mean bro??!!! It doesn't mean anything!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Nihilism. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
band annoys me more than the fanboys at this point and that's obviously saying a whoooooooole lot
No one cares Shadow. Everything meaningless bro
Eons enjoy the ban.
If they ever make an album, it will just disappoint everyone since it's been over a decade and too much anticipation has built up. I can see it coming a mile away
No one cares Burnt thighs. Bans are simply a minor annoyance in this meaningless existence we are all in.
Yeah, too bad music is ruined with time. I used to like music, now I hate it. Bad timing, Tool.
It’s more likely that this is an elaborate prank where they plan to just drink beers and play street fighterfor a month and then emerge from the studio and say it’s being mixed for 6 more years
Lots and lots of triggered kids up in here. Don't worry, if the Sistine Chapel was rushed it would look like the graffiti on the trains in Detroit.
aka sound like new Opeth
There is an abundance of salt in here.
Digging: Mike Pace and the Child Actors - Smooth Sailing
I like salt on my eggs, how bout you guys.
I like eggs on my salt, how bout you guys.
Oh shit. Bruh drink some water on that ur gonna get dehydrated
I like Tool on my Tool.
Go to Home Depot they're packed with that stuff there.
Is there seriously an anti-vaxxer on here? I thought those people were incapable of written language.
Loool burn my tool
Digging: maudlin of the Well - Bath
Sounds like Burnmythighs knows his shit.
Pretty sure this is a lucid dream.
Digging: A Forest of Stars - Grave Mounds and Grave Mistakes
All jokes aside, if this is actually true and not another joke then I'm looking forward to it.
Haven't cared for Tool hype for ages, but this is the most activity I've ever seen from them on social media in regards to a new album.
Damn Egarran with the lucid dream streak Im jelly
What a comeback.
EDit: boo, they deleted
Weird, I thought they were "in the studio" this entire time
Digging: The Presets - Hi Viz
Will probably be outdated nu metal with weird time signatures and wholly unremarkable
Digging: Old Gods Defied - Demo 2018
Dude, I am getting sick and tired of all these shitposts.
Everyone knows Tool is now a Dubstep/hybrid Djent/synthpop/elecrtonica/progressive mash metal band.
Yes, "mash" is a genre now.
It's coming folks.
Digging: Jason Becker - Triumphant Hearts
They're gonna feel real shitty when this flops bevause nobody buys CDs anymore.
"Weird, I thought they were "in the studio" this entire time"
funny...that s what i thought to. they were inviting other bands to listen and to post another clickbait (:
lmao white noise
"They're gonna feel real shitty when this flops bevause nobody buys CDs anymore."
Your 5's though don't seem particularly appealing to what they're trying to do, so no win/win for you.
Can't wait for 2035
oh wow the most anticipated album of 2011 will finally be released in 2022.
Digging: Solstice (UK) - White Horse Hill
Gee I wonder who hansolo is xD
this fella: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_Solo
Come back and post when you accidentally think of something funny. Thanks.
why so touchy?
lol this thread.
Can't wait until the firt review pops out.
If I am still alive :/
Digging: Kaelan Mikla - Not Eftir Not
Dw Dewi you will always be alive in my heart.
"why so touchy?"
Oh, I'm sorry. Want me to lie and be fake? Okay.
hahaha Han, you are a riot!!11!one1! What a hoot! add me on facebook thanks, you handsome son of a bitch.
ai, waz a silly goose u are.
I know, wrong.
Can't wait to jam this while playing Final Fantasy XX on my Playstation 6
Okay, I chuckled.
I did too...when I saw his 5s.
Tool and Final Fantasy is an odd combination though.
Not really. They both kick ass. They both have a cult following and they both have fans waiting for FFVII.
yeah, that is the ejoke... but playing Final Fantasy while listening to Tool wouldn't work for me.
I listen to Tool while hang-gliding. ez glide, ez life.
Watch this turn out like Duke Nukem Forever
yeah, it was a shame, a solid running joke was ruined for the creation for such an abomination.
Tool just announced the vinyl will include Half Life 3 and the remake of Final Fantasy VII
I would cry.
Anyone else gonna come in here and shit on my band?
another 4 years until they actually finish mixing it. I'll take it.
"These guys are like the Duke Nukem Forever of the music world"
Digging: Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs
On a side note, fucking Kingdom Hearts 3 will probably drop before this album.
One of the best youtube vids of all time: https://youtu.be/fn0QgHwYobE
try my schism-berry wine
The jokes on this page XD
FlashNews: The new album will be released 10.000 days after their last release.
"I don't remember previous announcements of them in the recording studio being this publicized. All the band member's social media accounts and the main Tool one wouldn't be saying these things if they weren't true. Things are happening."
yea but at this point people circlejerk the tool meme "coming out in 2029 hur durr so funi"
The ultimate troll move would be for them to release this but it ends up being a pop album, or drone, or some other shit their fans won't be expecting.
Digging: Skee Mask - Compro
"yea but at this point people circlejerk the tool meme "coming out in 2029 hur durr so funi"
yap it is funny how long it takes to draw a perfect circle
tool put themselves in that position, not only by not making an album for so long, but also because they didn't pair themselves with the music scene in general, and end up a youtube exclusive. It's like "our music is so good that is forbidden to mess with it".
That and not putting an album anytime soon increases that trolling feeling. So hoping for a good new good album, i prefer to joke than to take these guys as serious as they do.
i think theyre just memeing at this point
"The ultimate troll move would be for them to release this but it ends up being a pop album, or drone, or some other shit their fans won't be expecting."
How delicious that would be
I really dont know how you could take over a decade to record a new album when music is what you do for a living.
they all seem to have a lot of things to do outside of Tool
maynard owns a winery
Urban Myth No.123242435
Tool enter a studio....never to be seen again
If this band had a face it would be the most punchable one in history.
Drone from Tool would probably be really cool, like the Asunder and Allelujah albums by Godspeed.
I'm interested in how they'll release this. It's not 2006 anymore and if they want people to hear the new album it'll have to be streaming. A really nice surprise would be if the day of release they dumped their whole catalog, including the new album, onto streaming and iTunes all at once. A CD version and vinyl with awesome packaging would be available as well ideally.
This will be very interesting. Can't wait for new Tool.
I remember being a freshmen in high school when their last album came out
Digging: Cradle of Filth - Midian
I remember not being at all into Tool anymore when their last album came out
really brings ya back
I remember checking out the 10,000 Days CD from a library after hearing how great they were when I was first seriously getting into music at the age of like 13 in 2008.
I heard they're co-releasing this with a copy of Half-Life 3.
Apparently it will be a concept EP called The Beehive Arsonist.
@toocool already been done in this thread, youre too late.
It'll have a copy of The Winds of Winter included too
we can at least agree if they make this album, this will be their absolute last album ever
I'll also write my first review on it
Apparently I’m one of the only people that’s actually excited
I'll believe it when I see it. [# of entire Tool fanbase]
Digging: Travis Scott - Astroworld
Finally tool news that isn't either fake or incredibly obscure
good meme, tool.
well played Talonsoffire. Well played.
Not gonna listen to it even if it does come out.
he said knowing full well it was a lie
yeah you are full of it.
Amia Venera Landscape is next I tell you ...
Digging: Antimatter - Black Market Enlightenment
"The Duke Nukem Forever of metal"
And look how that turned out
Digging: Drive Like Jehu - Yank Crime
Maynard is a fucking asshole. I was harassing him on Twitter and telling him he owes us a god damn album and asking him where it is, and this jerk had the audacity to block me! A longtime fan of his that supports his lifestyle, blocked for asking questions. I guess he believes he is too good to talk to his fans! What a jerk!
Ah man I hope this is better than the new A Perfect Circle singles, which are pretty mediocre. Tool has higher standards and has always been a fair margin better so I have hope.
Digging: Astor Piazzolla - Libertango
Eons lool don't take it personally. It's probably a communication company that does that work, which is not necessarily better. Anyway i feel you bro. That "to good for" posture makes me sick.
maynard owes his fans nothing. why make music when you're not inspired to make music?
and no, they won't enter studio lol
Digging: Daughters - You Won't Get What You Want
They entered the studio though
Next article: 'Tool exits studio' drummer heard saying 'I just went for a look around'. Followed by news of Maynard buying said studio.
This is the first time they make an announcement in their official site/facebook and not some random instagram posts so i think it's happening for real.
"Maynard is a fucking asshole. I was harassing him on Twitter and telling him he owes us a god damn album and asking him where it is, and this jerk had the audacity to block me! A longtime fan of his that supports his lifestyle, blocked for asking questions"
You are a sad fucking individual
If this album ever releases, it will bomb.
"Maynard is a fucking asshole. I was harassing him on Twitter and telling him he owes us a god damn album and asking him where it is, and this jerk had the audacity to block me! A longtime fan of his that supports his lifestyle, blocked for asking questions. I guess he believes he is too good to talk to his fans! What a jerk!"
if you're being serious you have problems
I thought that was a copypasta
if you're being serious you have problems 
I really hope that's a copypasta...
it will actually come out at some point, which is more than we can honestly say we've known for the last twelve years
Yeah I'm pretty sure he was just making fun of the fans who are actually like that. I hope so, anyway. It's people like that who Maynard was referring to when he called Tool fans "insufferable" lol
It isn't copypasta ):
Now let's hope he was ironic.
What if the new tool album is just the opiate ep part 2
Digging: Godflesh - Post Self
I would have a permanent shit-eating grin for the rest of eternity
band is trash
they're PRETTY good though
tell me one good thing about this radio rock band
They have a pretty good singer. A pretty good guitarist. A pretty good drummer. A pretty good bassist. All in all, they make a pretty good unit imo.
I know but
They are an easy target for bitter people.
Sup Egarran, study anymore Thelema lately?
Oh you know, just browsing a bit in The Goetia.
Actually I recently got a garden that is just a lawn. Stuff is ripe for a sigil. Do you know some magickal garden plants?
Maynard apparently finished all his work on the new album.
I'm not done yet, but keep believing what you read on obscure websites with bad tablature notation.
You were quoted sir
In the light of the morning sun, shining through my drapes, I can only see a few grapes. Those grapes look ripe. I can't really tell unless I go outside and see them closely. What I'm trying to say is some woman at Ultimate Guitar asked me how it was coming, pertaining to the album, I said "we're done" and rolled my eyes. Once again, don't believe what you read as a misconception. Go to the belly of the beast and inform yourselves. If you haven't checked out Lateral Thinking by Edward de Bono, I would suggest trying to find it and read it thoroughly.
Digging: Secrecy - Raging Romance
Lol this thread... this or new (???) Coroner?
Which band is more credible?
Well, a new Coroner has a better likelihood of being good.
I only hope it doesn't sound like 2017's Toxik EP. That shit literally sounds like Havok.
I doubt it. Coroner have a more developed musical direction.
Haha I read up and Darius is disgusted at someone harassing MJK online, then I check the A Perfect Circle form and he is doing exactly that.
''I doubt it. Coroner have a more developed musical direction.''
Oh yeah. Also let's not forget upcoming Voivod and Sodom's summer single m/ m/ m/
Upcoming Voivod sounds good to me.
"I was harassing him on Twitter and telling him he owes us a god damn album and asking him where it is, and this jerk had the audacity to block me!"
For every action there is a reaction
Newton *slaps roof of car*
Car *slaps back*