Not long ago most of us death-nerds found ourselves listening to the new Obscura record. ‘A Valediction’ came out in a particularly busy release week alongside other names such as Adele, Converge and Chelsea Wolfe, Exodus, Swallow The Sun, Pathology and many others. Naturally I thought we’d make the band’s release week just a little busier and singled out Obscura personality, head-honcho and guitarist, Steffen Kummerer.

Here’s how it went.

Hello, Steffen, and welcome to the obscure reaches of the internet we like to call Sputnikmusic[dot]com. We’re home to a myriad of peoples and argue constantly over which albums are the best of their respective years — sometimes we even agree. Maybe you’ve heard of the site before?

There is nothing better than arguing about which band, album or song might be better than anything else with people you don’t even know. Yes, I am aware of the page and especially the well-written reviews on Sputnikmusic.

While the site looks like it hasn’t crawled out of the early-to-mid 2000s we at least try to keep up with as much modern music as we can get our fingertips to. Some of us feel quite spoiled with the quality of music being released during 2021. Are there any releases that have tickled your fancy this year?

Every year, new great albums see the light of day. In 2021, Hypocrisy, Nestor, Unanimated, Archspire, Lucifer and many more released new records I listen to constantly. A while…

Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking antics: Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.

Today we welcome the most expensive cocoa in the Staff chocolate cupboard. He is a gentlemen among warthogs. He prances heavenwards while the rest of us wipe our noses with our unpaid utility bills. He knows how to write, he’s the essence of charm and dignity when on duty, and he’s too nice to do much more than ignore the hell out of your sorry arse if you’re not up to standard. Believe you me, that’s the treatment most of us deserve and (oh fuckin’ yes) receive. Give it up for the one, the only… Pon! 

Pon. Hi.

Henlo!

What is your alignment?

Based on others’ assessments of me I’m either lawful or chaotic neutral. So I guess I’m completely self-serving and my methods depend on the situation.

Why are you named after a Kyary Pamyu Pamyu song?

“Pone” gave way to “Pön”, which resulted in an attempt to have my Sput name changed to the latter. Regrettably, because Sput’s code is as old as the internet itself, the accented character broke the site…

Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.

Today’s hot bod in the hot seat is a dreamer of dreams, an upside-down-er of opportunities, a cipher of ciphers, an animal for unexpected hype, and an unmasker of hidden faces in places you never knew faces were to be found. He has facets also. Please give it up for: Winesburgohio! 

Who the hell are you?

I feel like this should clear things up. Otherwise! Eyes: Poo-brown. Hair: Balding remains of once leonine and voluptuous locks :O. Sex: if you insist! etc.

How did you originally arrive on this website, and what convinced you to stick around?

O.K. bear with me: I must have stumbled on this website in my teen years – surely one couldn’t have loved Circle Takes the Square and Kayo Dot in the ‘00s and not have cursorily browsed spitnuk at least once – but I was actually put onto it by Zach Savage, a man who I have never met and will never meet. I friended him on facebook because we were the only two people who had the wit to add “allocating resources” to our “likes”; he recommended sput and the rest was history! I’ve formed really strong friendships with…

Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of current (and past) Staff by way of deep-diving casual-reading interview razzle, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Allow your jaw to drop as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you never acknowledged surpass your wildest expectations.

Today’s willing participant missed the Pokemon hype train, but is more than happy to help, guide or just speak to anyone that wants to do so… oh and has also found the time to write 594 reviews (So Far). Please welcome Sputnik Music’s nicest moderator, SowingSeason — in we go!

SowingSeason: Ready to Bare his Soul

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Good day, Mr. Sowing. How is your day?

It’s good! I’m settled in with a coffee and ready to bare my soul to sputnikmusic.com.

Nice, nice. What Pokemon would you be if you were a…Pokemon?

This may be heresy to some people, but I totally missed the Pokemon hype train. I remember it being huge when I was a kid – my friends all had Pokemon cards – but for whatever reason I simply didn’t care. Pikachu, I guess? That response is sort of “by default” because it’s the only one I know off the top of my head (thanks Mario Smash Bros.!)

[response lol!] And yet, you are not a Pokemon, you are a Moderator! Disregarding the vast amount of largely unseen administrative work that this role entails for one moment, could you comment on the following community…

An interview with Joseph Rabjohns & Lachlan R. Dale…

Hey guys and thanks for taking time out of your day to have a little chat. Although given the weather currently hitting Australia’s East Coast there’s a chance I’m just saving you from a family Monopoly game or that novel you keep putting off?

Lachlan: Man… we only just got out of a COVID lockdown of almost 4 months, so I’ve already taken the opportunity to finally read both Tolstoy’s War & Peace, and Dostoyevski’s Crime & Punishment (which was the last of his great novels I had left). I guess now I’m just practicing for my solo album launch, and for Hashshashin’s recording session just before Christmas.

Joe: We’ve been lucky here with minimal lockdowns and not many cases. I’m not much of a reader, I’m still going on the Hobbit from year 10 on high school. I’ve just finished teaching guitar at school for the year and am now practicing and transcribing string arrangements for my solo album launch, and writing with my other musical projects.

Tell us a bit about the collaborative album. How and why did you guys decide to do a split like this? I understand you guys were doing some shows for Kodiak Empire and Hashshashin around 2016?

Lachlan: Split releases were a big part of me growing up in the extreme metal and hardcore punk scenes. I hadn’t realised that outside of those genres a split record is an anomaly.

Truthfully, I didn’t…

Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of current (and past) Staff by way of deep-diving casual-reading interview razzle, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Allow your jaw to drop as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you never acknowledged surpass your wildest expectations.

Today’s willing participant hates writing reviews but has written 256 of them. Please welcome Sputnik Music’s three-time Emeritus-awarded writer, Xenophanes — in we go!

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Good day, Xenophanes. Who are you and what is your story?

Hello! I’m a 32 year old guy living in the Midwest. I’m a mid-level corporate hack by day and artist by night.

I started lurking around Sputnik around 2008. A girl I was interested in had a Dir En Grey tattoo (red flag emoji) so through research I found my way here.

Flash forward to now and I have a husband and hate Dir En Grey.

You share your username with an ancient Greek philosopher – what about the original Xenophanes inspired you so?

I was sitting in a classics class circa 2009 and whatever my original original name was wasn’t jiving with me any longer. I think I remember digging his views on religion which seems so cring-y and basic to me now but oh well.

I read your username as xe-no-thanes as in Skyrim and the OG as xe-no-phan-ees as in ancient Greek. Is this okay?

No, but…

Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of current Staff by way of deep-diving casual-reading interview razzle, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Allow your jaw to drop as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you never acknowledged surpass your wildest expectations.

Today’s willing participant is our reformed meanie-head and connoisseur of podcasts, Trebor. Please give him a hero’s welcome; in we go!

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Good afternoon, Trebor. How is your day?

Every day I have to find the motivation to keep going and that usually takes about an hour or so, so I’ll let you know in an hour.

Literally everyone knows who you are, but you’re gonna have to reintroduce yourself to save me writing a bad mini-bio.

I’ve only been banned once, I’ve almost always had a Redlettermedia avatar, I used to be a meaniehead to a lot of newer users, and 90% of my friends no longer use the site.

Red Letter Media. Click the photo for videos.

What kind of role does music play in your life compared to when you first started on Sputnik?

When I first started posting I had a broken knee and foot and couldn’t walk or do much of anything for a month, so I mostly just listened to new albums I found on Sputnik all day and posted about them. Now I can walk and go on hikes so I don’t need…