New Taylor Swift Album

2024-02-05 by Dakota West Foss STAFF | 115 Comments
Taylor Swift used her latest Grammy win as an opportunity to announce her new album/government agency, The Tortured Poets Department, coming April 19th.

https://twitter.com/taylorswift13/status/1754332182401691704

Tagged: Taylor Swift

Comments:Add a Comment 
MetalMarcJK
February 5th 2024
994 Comments


That name sounds like she’s been holding on to it since high school. She might have stole it from a theater kid.

zaruyache
February 5th 2024
27337 Comments


wonder what genre it'll be this time

Gnocchi
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
18256 Comments


Is that title bait?

Butkuiss
February 5th 2024
6874 Comments


Uh that title tho

deathschool
February 5th 2024
28593 Comments


I happen to live in the tortured poets village, and I’ve never seen Taylor here.

JWT155
February 5th 2024
14948 Comments


Anticipating sowings 5/5 review

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
60207 Comments


Nice of Taylor to make a concept record for every sput staffer who's attempted to cover her, but

bellovddd
February 5th 2024
5692 Comments


WOW that title

FowlKrietzsche
February 5th 2024
633 Comments


Looking like this is gonna take the title of "white woman wayyyyy too desperate for a pickmeup" record from Reputation, huh?

deathschool
February 5th 2024
28593 Comments


I never really thought a poet could be tortured, ya know? Taylor always brings a fresh perspective. How does she do it?

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
10698 Comments


-- wonder what genre it'll be this time

Holding my breath for tech thrash

KevinKC
February 5th 2024
1253 Comments


I thought it'd be "Trump won't be my boyfriend."

pizzamachine
February 5th 2024
26998 Comments


Sorta countryish pop part 90,000 side B

deathschool
February 5th 2024
28593 Comments


Shut the fuck up (@KC, not my perfect pizza making contraption)

Ladron93
February 5th 2024
187 Comments


Her music is basically Peter Pan for women. Or maybe she is behaving one.

el_newg
February 5th 2024
2058 Comments


why is your source a fan twitter account... i mean i know we have no journalistic cred here but at least use an official post from taylor

tinathefatlard
February 5th 2024
2049 Comments


I don’t think a failing music site is concerned with integrity.

neekafat
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
26051 Comments


“Peter Pan for women”? What the fuck does that even mean

someone
Contributing Reviewer
February 5th 2024
6558 Comments


so not 'Reputation (Taylor's Version)'?

iHaveSex
February 5th 2024
198 Comments


I’d rather wear a condom than listen to this.

porcupinetheater
February 5th 2024
11025 Comments


Any poet torture is fine by me

Shiranui
February 5th 2024
1043 Comments


I feel like we're one step ahead of the decision for her next album to be called "Man Proposes, Taylor Disposes" that will come along with a "To Be Kind" album art but it's her face soaking up men tears instead of the actual print.

Pikazilla
February 5th 2024
29716 Comments


johnny your reviewing services will be called upon once again

AlexKzillion
February 5th 2024
17090 Comments


bruh they arrested killer mike at the grammys lmao

Devastator
February 5th 2024
4397 Comments


Bruh I saw that. Couldn't even wait till it was over lmao.

SomeCallMeTim
February 5th 2024
4057 Comments


Title is some weird spin on Dead Poets Society maybe or something, but yeah awful title. I was watching some of the ceremony and caught this part, I swear the audience had "please clap" vibes when she announced it

PickleVai17
February 5th 2024
181 Comments


Couldn't care less. The only decent album from her was Folklore, and here country stuff was ok at times.

Pikazilla
February 5th 2024
29716 Comments


folklore was fucking garbage

z00sh
February 5th 2024
631 Comments


title sounds like it was cooked up on Tumblr

pizzamachine
February 5th 2024
26998 Comments


Bet it was tailored swiftly

Sevengill
February 5th 2024
11919 Comments


she is truly one of the poets of all time

mkmusic1995
Contributing Reviewer
February 5th 2024
1709 Comments


Don't quote me on this but the title of the album is some sort of reference to a group chat that her ex-Joe Alwyn was a part of; this was just some sort of twitter thread that I happened to read that on so most likely it's bullshit lol

pizzamachine
February 5th 2024
26998 Comments


The album title is so high school. She knows her audience at least

vult
February 5th 2024
2257 Comments


Society deserves a break from Taylor my god she’s completely inescapable

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
10698 Comments


She's completely escapable outside the States.

vult
February 5th 2024
2257 Comments


Not everyone has that luxury

SomeCallMeTim
February 5th 2024
4057 Comments


She's escapable in the US too, people just like to complain (unless you have hella swifties in your close circle, then RIP). Can also promise whenever the next public figure is on top that the media will flaunt them to oblivion and back in the same way. $$$$

Sevengill
February 5th 2024
11919 Comments


oh, she wasn't trolling. it's up for pre-sale and everything. huh.

vult
February 5th 2024
2257 Comments


Luckily my household doesn’t listen to her, but almost all of my wife’s friends are swifties and social media is relentless about her (thankfully I’m disconnecting from social media in general).

pizzamachine
February 5th 2024
26998 Comments


Good idea

SomeCallMeTim
February 5th 2024
4057 Comments


yeah not having social media helps a lot, and not just with avoiding Taylor

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
10698 Comments


-- Not everyone has that luxury

Yeah, I totally get what you mean, but just so you know, from the outside, Swift seems way less vexing and infinitely smarter than her male and/or female counterparts who have imposed their presence where I live (Greece), during the last 30 years.



-- yeah not having social media helps a lot, and not just with avoiding Taylor

Amen to that

wayfaringstranger
February 5th 2024
274 Comments


Man idk the title just seems like some weird form of self-congratulatory circlejerking

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
10698 Comments


Just heard on the local news about Swift winning fourth Grammy, she is inescapable after all haha

cycosynner
February 5th 2024
147 Comments


The fact the alt-right chose to target her honestly moves me from indifference to admiration.

Sevengill
February 5th 2024
11919 Comments


fourth Album of the Year Grammy. she has 14 total.

I mean it's not the Grammys fault that only ten or twelve albums are released each year ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

DadKungFu
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
4708 Comments


Full of Hell/Taylor collab when

Cormano
February 5th 2024
4061 Comments


"She's completely escapable outside the States."

lolno she isnt

AlexKzillion
February 5th 2024
17090 Comments


in a vacuum i feel like you can mostly justify the rest of her aoty wins pretty easily:

fearless (2010): absolute dogshit nominees lmao

1989 (2016): tpab robbed surely but this album was inescapable for like three years running and was both the artistic and cultural peak of the biggest pop star of this era (until, I guess, the last 12 months).

folklore (2021): again, just absolute dogshit nominees besides dua lipa, and this album was right album at the right time.

midnights is not only one of her worst albums but was competing against six better albums. the eras tour was the story of 2023 obviously but this album of the year not a lifetime achievement award. this album totally came and went and honestly her re-releases felt like they got way more hype. stunned sza did not win this.

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
60207 Comments


SZA is probably the only nominee I can say for 100% certain had a worse album than Midnights, and that's a low bar

can't believe I'm saying this, but Boygenius or even O Rod would have deserved it more than anyone

Sevengill
February 5th 2024
11919 Comments


I liked when she and Myrkur accidentally released each other's albums in 2020

AlexKzillion
February 5th 2024
17090 Comments


i mean i personally prefer olivia's album to sza's (i made a list ranking all the nominees lol)... but sza's album a) was just as much of an event as midnights was, if not more, b) has had much longer legs, and c) got the critical support that midnights didn't get (i.e. pitctfork aoty 13 months after release etc.)

the grammys just hate tde lol / totally feels like a move where they wanted to "make grammys history"

ChaoticVortex
February 5th 2024
1580 Comments


Imagine taking that Grammys seriously in the year of our Lord 2024.

AnimalForce1
Contributing Reviewer
February 5th 2024
815 Comments


I mean, they put a Spiritbox nomination alongside Disturbed and Metallica. They've had very little credibility for a while now LMAO

Pikazilla
February 5th 2024
29716 Comments


folklore was fucking garbo [2]

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
10698 Comments


-- lolno she isnt

The news about the Grammy was just before the news anchor calls it a good night and good luck, practically nobody talks about her in Greece, local mainstream has its own "heroes"




-- Imagine taking that Grammys seriously in the year of our Lord 2024.

this

GhandhiLion
February 5th 2024
17641 Comments


Perhaps beatlemania has been surpassed



AlexKzillion
February 5th 2024
17090 Comments


the grammys are fine to take seriously from a purely american pop culture perspective (i.e. - the big, essentially pop-specific awards), though i've learned over time sput is largely incapable of being that nuanced lol

SomeCallMeTim
February 5th 2024
4057 Comments


Spent a couple weeks in Greece last year. Cruising through radio stations in the car we rented was a lot of fun, the popular music is (obviously) very different than what we have in the states, sounded much folkier with a lot of soul in the vocals; but once you get to the stations clearly Taylored for Americans the selection of songs is so wild. Like disco pop into RHCP into some obscure song that was popular maybe once in the late 90s etc. The non-American stations were much better lol

AnimalForce1
Contributing Reviewer
February 5th 2024
815 Comments


"clearly Taylored"

I see what you did there

Pikazilla
February 5th 2024
29716 Comments


grammys are almost as irrelevant as the super bowl in the rest of the world

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
February 5th 2024
10698 Comments


@SomeCallMeTim

Exactly, it's next to impossible to promote here someone like Swift with the magnitude of her communication mechanism in the States, Greeks are definitely on a different cultural frequency, not better nor worse (although the latter is certainly debatable…)

OwMySnauze
February 6th 2024
2522 Comments


No, go away already.

P.S.- hope her bf loses the Super Bowl.

nol
February 6th 2024
11710 Comments


Fresh out the Slammer gonna be a rager

CugnoBrasso
February 6th 2024
2623 Comments


So, Taylor can release shit every four months and still get news articles but when renowned crunkcore revivalist pizzamachine does the same he gets censored hmmmm

nol
February 6th 2024
11710 Comments


no but have you guys seen the tracklist? It’s objectively hilarious

Devastator
February 6th 2024
4397 Comments


The Tortured Poets Department

Best Blackened Screamo album of all time incoming.

AlexKzillion
February 6th 2024
17090 Comments


Tracklist:

1. Fortnight (feat Post Malone)
2. The Tortured Poets Department
3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
4. Down Bad
5. So Long, London
6. But Daddy I Love Him
7. Fresh Out the Slammer
8. Florida!!! (Feat Florence + The Machine)
9. Guilty as Sin?
10. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?
11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
12. loml
13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
15. The Alchemy
16. Clara Bow

Bonus Track: The Manuscript

can't believe this is real lmao

SomeCallMeTim
February 6th 2024
4057 Comments


Weird Al could cover track 14 as "The Smelliest Man Who Ever Lived" and make it about Kelce after a game

For real, some of these titles are beyond laughable

Sunnyvale
Staff Reviewer
February 6th 2024
5827 Comments


"Fresh Out The Slammer" by Taylor Swift is the greatest track title since "We Are Fucking Fucked" by Muse

YoYoMancuso
Staff Reviewer
February 6th 2024
18849 Comments


"1. Fortnight (feat Post Malone)"

[Verse 1: Taylor Swift]
You gave me wounds that just can't be healed
Always take the minis before the big shield

[Chorus 1: Post Malone]
WE FIGHTIN FOR LOVE ON THE BATTLE BUS

AlexKzillion
February 6th 2024
17090 Comments


scrolling through her subreddit i feel like i understand how people get so sucked into her. so so sooooo much content on there dissecting the cover art and tracklist. linking to wikipedia articles, lyrics from other songs, straight up red string bulletin board shit. they treat everything she says and does like a puzzle.

these people could solve the jfk assassination if taylor put them on to it i'm convinced

mkmusic1995
Contributing Reviewer
February 6th 2024
1709 Comments


The problem is less Taylor Swift and more the obsession that swifties have with Taylor Swift or even, the obsession that American media has with Taylor Swift.

Odal
Staff Reviewer
February 6th 2024
1954 Comments


Swifties are annoying, to be sure.

But I really think that too many people handwave away just how annoying and actually problematic she is and excuse criticism as misogyny.

Calc
February 6th 2024
17331 Comments


probably because everyone is annoying and problematic and to hold her to some higher moral scrutiny because she's famous is dumb so it's just funny to laugh at her worshipers.

Calc
February 6th 2024
17331 Comments


unless of course she's touching kids or something

vult
February 6th 2024
2257 Comments


Not to mention the severe lack of any large public philanthropy or contributions back to society despite being a billionaire. Plus likely burning a shitload of fossil fuels and hydrocarbons between her private jets and massive tour logistics.

But noooo she’s relatable and you are sexist if you criticize her.

vult
February 6th 2024
2257 Comments


Wanna know why things seemingly connect between her songs and lyrics? Because she’s a pretty shallow songwriter.

bellovddd
February 6th 2024
5692 Comments


i mean. should we hate every single musician and band in the world who tours then?

bellovddd
February 6th 2024
5692 Comments


because of their fossil fuels and hydrocarbons?

Odal
Staff Reviewer
February 6th 2024
1954 Comments


On one hand, I am sure that Taylor gets some disproportionate hate due to being a women but I really don't like whataboutism lol

Obviously we need to change the systems and regulations in place so that we can reduce our emissions on an institutional level, but I think we can also loudly criticize Taylor for being the NUMBER ONE individual for emissions

zaruyache
February 7th 2024
27337 Comments


the obsession that swifties have...

that's definitely a large part of it. We all know Dua Lipa stans exist but they're not nearly as numerous or obsessive so it hardly matters to anyone. The swifties are inescapable to the point of almost being obligatory part of "the discourse."

Snake.
February 7th 2024
25241 Comments


"1. Fortnight (feat Post Malone)
2. The Tortured Poets Department
3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
4. Down Bad
5. So Long, London
6. But Daddy I Love Him
7. Fresh Out the Slammer
8. Florida!!! (Feat Florence + The Machine)
9. Guilty as Sin?
10. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?
11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
12. loml
13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
15. The Alchemy
16. Clara Bow"

say what you want but she really knows how to speak to her audience (and those on the fringe)

zaruyache
February 7th 2024
27337 Comments


I thought that tracklist was a joke but she actually wrote a song called Fortnight ffs. viscerally negative emotional reaction to all of this information. it's so pseudo-pretentious I cannot even

vult
February 7th 2024
2257 Comments


99% of bands and musicians contribute about the same amount of emissions as a normal person on aggregate since you don’t tour 365 days a year but we certainly can call out musicians (and anyone else) for grossly misusing private planes and other means of travel.

Adding a WE LOVE FORTNIGHT [sic]

Hendoi
February 7th 2024
740 Comments


who else would feature on fortnite lol

Shamus248
Contributing Reviewer
February 7th 2024
799 Comments


Society deserves a break from Taylor my god she’s completely inescapable [2]

neekafat
Staff Reviewer
February 7th 2024
26051 Comments


im sure they dont play her in retirement homes if ur interested

Nomos2
February 7th 2024
1867 Comments


taylor swift, untalented bozo

Purpl3Spartan
February 7th 2024
8450 Comments


Cant wait for Johnny’s next 2.3 review that sends Twitter into a spiral and we get a bunch of brigadiers

Sinternet
Contributing Reviewer
February 7th 2024
26566 Comments


Reading this thread and half of you are way mire cringy than any swifty I've interacted with

neekafat
Staff Reviewer
February 7th 2024
26051 Comments


brave of her to time this with toby keiths death

JayEnder
February 7th 2024
19713 Comments


Tired of hearing about this girl and her mid ass music

bellovddd
February 7th 2024
5692 Comments


imagine if she did a song with sleep token.

CugnoBrasso
February 7th 2024
2623 Comments


^ A man can only dream

hobblepot
February 7th 2024
2945 Comments


I’m tired of her. She’s got the biggest platform you could ever want but doesn’t say anything of note. She has the power to single handedly stop the ongoing genocide but she’ll stay quiet cos she needs her album sales

anarchistfish
February 7th 2024
30298 Comments


"She has the power to single handedly stop the ongoing genocide"

Skull emoji

Snake.
February 7th 2024
25241 Comments


swifties once again bringing the Ws home since their upfront detractors are smooth-brained

nightbringer
February 7th 2024
2713 Comments


Cringe thread.

Hendoi
February 7th 2024
740 Comments


We all listen albums and tistically rate and compare them for fun. I don't think any of us on this site can be calling anyone cringe.

MCJACKDAHL
February 7th 2024
344 Comments


ICE SPICE SPIRITBOX TAYLOR SWIFT KASEY MUSGRAVES MITSKIBIDI PHOEBE BRIDER COLLAB WHEN?!

Hendoi
February 7th 2024
740 Comments


Stfu fucking cringe mcdonalds cream ass bitch

Calc
February 7th 2024
17331 Comments


"She has the power to single handedly stop the ongoing genocide but she’ll stay quiet cos she needs her album sales"

why doesn't she end world hunger while shes at it right?

nightbringer
February 7th 2024
2713 Comments


I didn't say I wasn't also cringe!

bellovddd
February 7th 2024
5692 Comments


I’m tired of her. She’s got the biggest platform you could ever want but doesn’t say anything of note. She has the power to single handedly stop the ongoing genocide but she’ll stay quiet cos she needs her album sales



THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER READ ON SPUT OH MY LORDY ARE WE ON SOMETHING HERE

ToSmokMuzyki
February 7th 2024
10479 Comments


OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

AND THE COVER IS A BODY SHOT YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

DocSportello
February 8th 2024
3364 Comments


https://youtu.be/FNSTGOZDKpo?si=uEhpA0zFa6vm7rbr

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
February 8th 2024
60207 Comments


"swifties once again bringing the Ws home since their upfront detractors are smooth-brained"

accurate

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2024/feb/06/taylor-swift-jet-cease-desist-jack-sweeney

but doesn't make this any less deeply fucking pathetic

AnimalForce1
Contributing Reviewer
February 8th 2024
815 Comments


It's funny, post-Oscars, a lot of people have been blasting Taylor Swift, from bringing up Lana del Rey to the stage, upstaging the entire night by announcing her album, the carbon footprint thing

Also RIP to the plane guy. First Elon, now Taylor, dude can't catch a break

SomeCallMeTim
February 8th 2024
4057 Comments


based plane guy

Lopan
February 9th 2024
97 Comments


The title is something that you will find in your high school notebook but perfectly fits and click with her audience. She is a very clever bussiness woman. Yes, her fans and her "bigger than life" persona are irritating but I don't see her as the enemy. At the end of the day she is somebody that forged a career based on talent. She plays and writes her music and she is able to perform the songs.

anarchistfish
February 9th 2024
30298 Comments


I wanna see this thread when everyone itt gets girlfriends

nol
February 11th 2024
11710 Comments


if*

nol
February 11th 2024
11710 Comments


I will say dunking on Taylor Swift can be a very attractive quality in women

Meridiu5
February 11th 2024
4162 Comments


Song titles sound like midnights pt II

Meh



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