Sputnikmusic launches on TikTok

2021-04-01 by fluid in its most purist form. always drenched in an undeniable regal divinity. | 84 Comments
In a widely rumoured but previously unconfirmed turn of events, we can confirm the upcoming launch of a Sputnikmusic Official TikTok channel, to hit the app sometime within the next fortnight.

This follows a mass exodus of users whose niche proclivities and oral ventilation needs have found themselves better served on TikTok's insta-gratinfication dopamine pad ​than on ​the fringes of Sputnik's ever unupdated pizza crust. In particular, this follows the recent reroosting of Sputnik user Lord(e)po)))ts, who has attracted millions of TikTok views and almost three celebrity endorsements for his pithy serrations on the difference between post-garage elevator music and elemental designer trip-hop. High-ups in the Moderator ranks have alleged that a Sputnik debut on the app may bring Deviant back, but scepticism remains rife.

An official statement [this one] underlines that this move has been a long time coming and is in absolutely in no way an attempt to stabilise the site's image amidst a recent onslaught of controversial footage from unaffiliated user accounts. These include SitarHero's since-banned montage of dead kittens, rodrigo90's confusing and challenging impersonations of Anthony Fantano in lewd drag(?), Get Low's ruthless dismantling of album ratings in a post-QAnon society, and pheromone's nostalgic reenactments of John K. Samson lyrics, visualised by various jaded rollings of big ones in the corners of living rooms of buildings he no longer has legal access to.

The Staff account will share more wholesome videos, including but not limited to the following:

1) Robertsona explains his trade secrets for baking the best vegan fruitcake for non-vegans.
2) Sowing's instructional groove series on how to dance to music with no pulse.
3) Trebor reads aloud real-life takes from real boomers of the unseen internet in a very passionate tone of voice.
4) Rowan smiles at the internet.

On behalf of everyone on Sputnik, we urge you to subscribe to the Staff channel and wish you the best of luck in your own TikTok endeavours.

Tagged: Sputnikmusic

Comments:Add a Comment 
JohnnyoftheWell
April 1st 2021
64287 Comments


The day has finally come

SteakByrnes
April 1st 2021
31061 Comments


I'll do the Say So dance

zelenichajnik
April 1st 2021
624 Comments


I will watch Steak doing the Say So dance

JohnnyoftheWell
April 1st 2021
64287 Comments


I will react to you watching Steak doing the Say So dance

nightbringer
April 1st 2021
2937 Comments


Boo, bring back the podcast

neekafat
Emeritus
April 1st 2021
26926 Comments


I will watch your reaction video of him watching Steak do the Say So dance

Pheromone
April 1st 2021
21850 Comments


i will not stop my art

GhandhiLion
April 1st 2021
17793 Comments


riveting

dedex
Emeritus
April 1st 2021
13008 Comments


FINALLY

Feather
April 1st 2021
11531 Comments


@nightbringer what is this podcast called, I am intrigued.

someone
April 1st 2021
7254 Comments


as good a time as any to tell you that I have AIDS and you have it too

someone
April 1st 2021
7254 Comments


"Boo, bring back the podcast"

dude there was a podcast?

Pheromone
April 1st 2021
21850 Comments


sputnikpodcast

Pheromone
April 1st 2021
21850 Comments


looking for podcast partner where we sit and rank all 37,042 of sowing's comments

evilford
April 1st 2021
71756 Comments


*fake belly laugh*

Sabrutin
April 1st 2021
9843 Comments


onlyfans?

Pheromone
April 1st 2021
21850 Comments


me and porc have an OF coming soon watch this space

ieatbabies795
April 1st 2021
856 Comments


Nice.

Josh D.
April 1st 2021
18244 Comments


Sputnikmusic launches Xanga page.

someone
April 1st 2021
7254 Comments


"looking for podcast partner where we sit and rank all 37,042 of sowing's comments"

count me in bich

botb
April 1st 2021
19840 Comments


Stay tuned for my youtube reaction channel where I yawn my way through every black malachite release

someone
April 1st 2021
7254 Comments


Sputnikmusic exclusive merch

including bespoke kimonos and loudspeakers to make people hear your wrong opinion even better

for special Patreon donors also a t-shirt with all comment sections in which LordePots got into a shitfight. (luv u Lordy)

garas
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
8436 Comments


Oh no.

TheNotrap
April 1st 2021
19369 Comments


At the forefront of the music business.

someone
April 1st 2021
7254 Comments


the most trusted voice in music

WatchItExplode
April 1st 2021
10707 Comments


Tf?

DDDeftoneDDD
April 1st 2021
23542 Comments


edit: nice! Following

BlitzPhoenix98
April 1st 2021
202 Comments


Oh dear

BlitzPhoenix98
April 1st 2021
202 Comments


...inb4 this is an April Fools joke.

MercySeat
April 1st 2021
421 Comments


Brilliant

ArsMoriendi
April 1st 2021
42363 Comments


It clearly is, but also MX please update Sputnik :o

DDDeftoneDDD
April 1st 2021
23542 Comments


@BlitzPhoenix98 edit the comment please

AsleepInTheBack
Emeritus
April 1st 2021
10745 Comments


big if true (as Johnny boi would say)

Kompys2000
April 1st 2021
9483 Comments


Poggers

Slex
April 1st 2021
17870 Comments


Hmmm I'm not completely sold yet, tell me more about 4

gryndstone
April 1st 2021
2981 Comments


Where's the link

Trebor.
Emeritus
April 1st 2021
60333 Comments


I'm playing midwest emo guitar riffs over boomer cringe

sonictheplumber
April 1st 2021
17600 Comments


april chodes

JesperL
Emeritus
April 1st 2021
5841 Comments


F I N A L L Y
will there be an audiovisual radiohead ranking? please?

ieatbabies795
April 1st 2021
856 Comments


“Stay tuned for my youtube reaction channel where I yawn my way through every black malachite release”

Subscribe.

ieatbabies795
April 1st 2021
856 Comments


What does this announcement mean we might get an influx of tiktok users?
Sputnik always the innovators not the followers 😎

ChaoticVortex
April 1st 2021
1616 Comments


LOL

someone
April 1st 2021
7254 Comments


will JohnnyoftheWell finally show his mug?

LeddSledd
April 1st 2021
7445 Comments


Hugh Puddles mug reveal when [2]

JohnnyoftheWell
April 1st 2021
64287 Comments


https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61g8XAN6d2L._AC_SL1200_.jpg

am getting a haircut tomorrow so maybe later lol

nightbringer
April 1st 2021
2937 Comments


To those asking about the podcast, look through last year's staff blogs!

BallsToTheWall
April 1st 2021
52578 Comments


Who wants to see my junk?

Spec
April 1st 2021
41444 Comments


"Trebor reads aloud real-life takes from real boomers of the unseen internet in a very passionate tone of voice."

on second thought...

loveisamixtape
April 1st 2021
12471 Comments


nice give me a mute thread button next plz kings

Gnocchi
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
18452 Comments


Man, I wanted a water park.

Emim
April 1st 2021
38601 Comments


Maybe I'm officially too old for this site.

TheNewWhack
April 1st 2021
1672 Comments


Emim, you and me both.

MiloRuggles
Emeritus
April 1st 2021
3242 Comments


You can be sure we're all pulling our weight on this one.
My own involvement will consist of transcribing every staff review in sputnik's long and storied history over to this new medium. I have set aside six 15 second increments in the course of my usual day to achieve this, so estimating a 2034 finish.
We'll have our waterpark, nocte. By hook or by crook, we'll have it.

MyNameIsPencil
April 1st 2021
6666 Comments


talk to me when sputnik opens the official OnlyFans account where sowing takes off his clothes while talking about indie rock


RogueNine
April 1st 2021
6087 Comments


*checks calendar*

Trundle
April 1st 2021
4060 Comments


good stuff, johnny

Gnocchi
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
18452 Comments


--talk to me when sputnik opens the official OnlyFans account where sowing takes off his clothes while talking about indie rock--

OnlyFans' servers aren't ready for that.

figure337
April 1st 2021
887 Comments


Well I guess this site is about to get worse.

tinathefatlard
April 1st 2021
2112 Comments


^^^ Like that’s even possible. Post a music list and nobody talks about music anymore. It’s all memes, peepees and weewees.

Spec
April 1st 2021
41444 Comments


sounds like sputnik in the 2000's a bunch of people would get together & next thing you know it was all hands & butts & tits and woo hoo hoo.. then AIDS ruined everything

Emim
April 1st 2021
38601 Comments


The user or the disease?

what's the difference?

Spec
April 1st 2021
41444 Comments


heuheheuhe

Trundle
April 2nd 2021
4060 Comments


Omfg

cordwainerbird
April 2nd 2021
1375 Comments


big if true

combustion07
April 2nd 2021
12886 Comments


There was a sputnik music podcast? Can it still be found somewhere? I wanna hear. Never been on tiktok but I might download it for this

Supercoolguy64
April 2nd 2021
12007 Comments


Wtf Mx didn’t change the forums to make them look like the mxtabs forums worst April fools ever

rockarollacola
April 2nd 2021
2480 Comments


I still refuse to redownload that app. Had it for 3 days and seriously couldn't stand it.

Supercoolguy64
April 2nd 2021
12007 Comments


First time I got tik tok I was like glued to it for like 2 days and now I rarely touch it cuz that’s all the time you need to see everything its user base has to offer

ian b
April 2nd 2021
2179 Comments


tik tok is like how vine was, in that you should let other people do the dirty work and filter the good stuff out of the shit into compilations/playlists together so you dont have to deal with videos of someone's dog doing the Toosie Slide or whatever

jouroboros
April 2nd 2021
236 Comments


Greatest post in Sputnik history. And a refreshing laugh among a rather boring April 1st

zeitgeistaddendum2
April 2nd 2021
39 Comments


I read this post yesterday and was like, "Hm, weird move. But okay." I only realised this was a joke when commuting to work today... I am severely disappointed in myself.

Winesburgohio
Emeritus
April 2nd 2021
4188 Comments


Rowan smiling at the internet should be behind a paywall

Project
April 2nd 2021
5961 Comments


why would you deny access to that glorious event

bloc
April 2nd 2021
70880 Comments


This news alone kinda makes me want Tiktok now damn

ieatbabies795
April 2nd 2021
856 Comments


It’s pretty much OnlyFans Lite with some added memes, get it

Shamus248
Contributing Reviewer
April 2nd 2021
1323 Comments


Next: Sputnikmusic goes on Pornhub. Shamus248 gives verbal fellatio to Rascal Flatts

Parallels
April 3rd 2021
10216 Comments


tiktok is the first big update in a decade? ffs just ban me micheal jordan style so i dont have to come back to this place ever again

MO
April 3rd 2021
24251 Comments


cool I'll just stick to this site thanks ya fools

Wizard
April 3rd 2021
20629 Comments


Awful app.

Pheromone
April 3rd 2021
21850 Comments


it's a shame we wont be seeing you over on the tiktok parallels and mo

Ikarus14
April 4th 2021
1454 Comments


Posted on April 1st? Oh ho!

Egarran
April 4th 2021
36867 Comments


You better not be implying this isn't true

chaywa
April 4th 2021
90 Comments


It's just Sowing listening to TDAG every single video

Parallels
April 5th 2021
10216 Comments


"it's a shame we wont be seeing you over on the tiktok parallels and mo"

Somehow I think it won't be. Good luck ;)



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





MOST VIEWED NEWS

Jesse Lacey Allegations
Jayyvon Opens Up About Abuse
The Fall of Troy bassist melts do..
The Story So Far's vocalist dropk..
Deftones stream new single
R.I.P. Lemmy
Killswitch Engage debut new single
Scott Weiland dead at 48
Nothing But Thieves accusations
Lil Peep Dead At 21



OTHER RECENT NEWS

black midi's Matt has died
R.I.P. Bob Weir
A Wilhelm Scream's Cheap Heat
Phasma post new stuff
Thy Worshiper go west to Eden
Forever Autumn stream new LP
Incandescence tease new album
Babymetal celebrate 15th year
RIP ThyCrossAwaits
Kannatama releases demo track
Chrocktikal announces debut
Ichika Nito’s Grand Reveal LP
Silje Wergeland leaves The Gather..
Silver Dolls stream namesake EP
R.I.P. Perry Bamonte

» see all news

STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2023 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy