poop

hehehe

Ughhhhhh

why. is. this. news.

jennyy has a fanny

first "paragraph" is one giant sentence.

lmao

"TMI, Jen! TM freakin' I!!"

haha

hey and look all the resident sandy vaginae have shown up to make a big deal of nothing!

(apparently that's the proper pluralization of "vagina" who knew?!?!?!?!?!?)

...what is this crap

no pun intended

RIP Sputnik

So my news article about Fred Durst doing a collaboration with Insane Clown Posse was rejected, yet this shit isn't?!

yeah

excuse me?

Sputnik has been interesting lately ahaha

No, explain!

It was a joke?

oh fuck....

I submitted a news piece a couple of weeks about about the coldest gig attempt ever (Charlie Simpson). It didn't get approved, but this did? WTF

No such thing as good jokes either, they all kind of rest in a haze of grey. in fact fifty jokes could be seen as 'Fifty Haze of Grey'.

>log on Sputnik
>see news articles
>"Jennifer Lopez: Poop Star" & "Why Do Birds Sing So Gay?"
>Both by John Cruz

I think Cruz is doing this on purpose, cause i mean damn this is fucking weird

i'd eat her poop

...what the fuck

yours too

What happened to this site?

Jennifer Lopez telling someone that her son says "poop" is considered news on Sputnik now?

sweet

Thought I was on Sputnik, not TMZ.

You can thank John Cruz for the confusion

Who cares, get naked Jennifer!

I honestly am having a hard time wading through all these random articles just to find one article that's ACTUAL music news.

However, it is slightly entertaining.

alright buddy its time to give it up

I was hoping that with the site down something would accidentally delete John Cruz's profile and this

If you love it, go to place that this article rips it's style from...TMZ.

Your sentence structure kinda scares me Eli

Fucking stop this shit. This is a serious website for serious news. You are ruining the professionalism of Sputnik and we will not stand for it.

stop taking this shit! this is serious for news and you r just ruining it for everyone and sputnik! i wont stand for this

Can we stop with these retarded articles now

This is a serious website for serious news. You are ruining the professionalism of Sputnik and we will not stand for it.

guys this is music news taken from internet searches for "music news" not from tmz

these are musicians. jen is on tour. this is her concern. i just report it.
billie joe armstrong is in the hospital someone should get on that story asap

its a mysterious illness and the green day guys aren't talking. mum is the word but shows have been cancelled. this requires investigation and speculation

stop.

I bet she takes smelly poops.

this is poopy

asdgs

Thanks to this article I can now say that I am 100% on your side Mr.Cruz. Keep it up.

This article stinks

well.. she has a big butt so her poop is probably large enough to worth mention

"Upsidedown_and_Sideways wrote:

stop.


tell you what. i will stop when you start. if all news contributors were as active as you we'd have no
news at all. so whatever...


unless you're on an alt account? if so, fair enough. otherwise idc

Her son's already startin' shit.

This is a serious website for serious news. You are ruining the professionalism of Sputnik and we will not stand for it.


lol [2]

Lmao, at this point I can just go to the main page and easily pick out which articles are by John Cruz. Always a good time.

Got the article confused with a new Converge album HURRRR

"Her son's already startin' shit."

john cruz take note, this is what real comedy looks like

I could've made a Mexican food joke.

*farts*

stop writing news articles, faggot. they just get worse and worse.

Okay seriously, what the fuck. Guys this is clearly comedy gold. I mean he said poop. POOP. THIS BELONGS HERE!!

I think Cruz is doing this on purpose, cause i mean damn this is fucking weird

taco flavored kisses

'JohnXDoesn't'

I'm not on an alt account...I'm just a casual browser of Sputnik...and while you do contribute, it seems you have no filter of what you should contribute.

I'm all for spicing it up news wise, but news articles like this are just bumping actual news worthy articles off of the front page. I'm sorry, but I don't consider this news worthy in the least.

PLEASE STOP WRITING NEWS ARTICLES JOHN CRUZ

no shit sherloc

"Jennifer Lopez: Poop Star"

John Cruz article?

John Cruz article

IVE GOTTA SHIT

"Keep us updated"? Speak for yourself.

News on Sputnik has become a joke

i love this guy

HAHAHAHA POOP! Hey her son probably picks his nose and thinks boogers are cool too! *crosses fingers for next article*

[What happened to this site?] X2

you can literally determine which news articles are written by john cruz

all the fucking terrible ones

Poopy this, poopy that.

you can guess honestly say it's a john cruz just by the title

I love having a sense of humor on a site like this as much as the next guy, but can we at least be clever about how we do it?

God these articles blow.

poop star, I mean come on how can you get more clever than that!

Someone please explain to me why this is any different than a normal parents experiences in life? Why even throw negativity here way or better yet, pay attention to a story like this?

these articles just keep getting worse and worse ugh.

that's true. it doesn't get much worse than an article about shit.

reported

hope he keeps doing this

this JohnXDoesn't fellow is probably just a riff alt

Everyone is a riff alt now.

Even though I just found out this shocking news, I still wanna fuck her, and her music still sucks more than ever

i love how people are so outraged that this guy keeps making idiotic news articles, yet they keep reading them. and even clarify that they can spot one of his articles on sight, and then read them anyway.

Like honestly, if you thought "Jennifer Lopez: Poop Star" was a legit news article, you are about as smart as John Cruz is funny.

since when has blatant idiocy ever stopped onlookers?

This is not news. This is a trivial excuse for more of John Cruz's pseudo-witty bullshit. Please stop

"since when has blatant idiocy ever stopped onlookers?"

touche.

poop star lol

What a throwback, people hated this guy's articles so much but in retrospect its class a trolling