Jesper and Johnny’s neoclassical meme journey through ’90s trance
Prologue: Boyfriends & Dolphins
Once upon a time there was a cat called JesperL and a porpoise called JohnnyoftheWell. It was springtime and anything was possible. Johnny introduced Jesper to Guangzhou’s finest emo indie biscuiteers yourboyfriendsucks! (Qiii Snacks Records) and all was well because they could both dig that band and look very earnestly dapper for it.
But it was not enough. All things must end, and then begin once more. New digs must be found.
In this case, the dig was the Japanese ‘90s acid trance/techno act Dream Dolphin, who boasts many great qualities including the best artist name of all time and the recently resurfaced cult classic Tsuki no Iyashi, Umi no Mahou (1998). Subsequent discourse went as follows:
Johnny: Let’s dig Dream Dolphin!
Jesper: It has been dug. will maybe listen to it
Johnny: it is um believe it or not better than yourboyfriendsucks
Jesper: split ep when
Johnny: are we ready for emotrance to be a thing
Jesper: tbh that actually sounds very tiktok ready. get some la dispute ass lines before a sick vibedrop
Johnny: omg you hexed it – the moment you said tiktok this came on
The Sputnik Music Morning Show are delighted to have been joined live by renowned music critic ajcollins15, nominee for the 2022 Nobel Laureate of Literature and purveyor of pertinent pop. Listen in for our exclusive interview!
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ajcollins15, hello! It’s a delight to have you on the Morning Show today. Listeners all across the country are tuning in as we speak – would you introduce yourself for them?
I have listened to a lot of explorative metal music out there.
Awesome, and how’ve you been doing lately?
With Covid-19 being the dominant threat of 2020, millions and millions of people have been affected by it in one way or another.
For real. It’s brought the whole world together!
The biggest downside is that the cohesiveness in everything is a bit static.
Yuh-huh.
However, there is a much deeper understanding here that I feel many will miss; life is short and time moves fast.
Too true. Does this have much of an impact on your writing? How do you aim to write?
With a lot of class and a ton of self-reflection that we all kind of need in this transition period out of pandemic season.
KILL or KEEP is back and we are doing the White Album! We have never done the White Album before, and this is quite important to stress because why the hell hadn’t we? It is the Beatles’ longest album. Is it their magnum opus? Some people think so, and most of them are wrong about literally everything! Let’s show those frauds! But first, we will go so far as to tender an apology for not already having KILLed and KEPT it, reasons for which go something along the lines of:
“Hey Phero, when are we going to KILL or KEEP the White Album?”
“Idk man sounds like a great idea. Sounds perfect. Let’s get porc and do it!”
“Sweet yeah, good shout. porc would be perf for this rofl. Hold on one sec, I’ll get in touch…”
70000 unanswered voicemails and two months later.
“Hey Johnny, remember when we had that great idea about KILLing or KEEPing the White album?”
“Oh shit man yeah, that was such a good plan why haven’t we done it yet?”
“Um no idea, but shall we do it now?”
“Yes let’s, actually wait, how about we do an actual good double album that everyone agrees is good instead?”
“Sidelines” is the new song by the music artist Phoebe Bridgers. You know who she is, glad to be on the same page. Is it a good song? It recalls the minimalist keyboards of the title-track of her 2020 phenomenon statementzeitgeistermeme album Punisher, but where that song’s progression was intricate, fragile and full of intrigue, this one follows butterfingered plinky-plonks and emointense study beats and an antidynamic chord pattern so tepid Aaron Dessner would doze into his decaf chaipalace eyemask latte over it. Bridgers’ vocal performance peaks when she channels Imogen Heap on the occasional high note, and it dips when she mumbles some bollocks about personifying her houseplants instead of objectifying herself to the chonk of that babysnare. Is this a little cruel? To the lyrics: oh okay, Phoebe Bridgers is using the first song released from her new(ish)found platform of supercelebdom to affirm the confidence she’s found to leave her house, all while weighing up a fresh stint at Berklee (hardly unwarranted by this song’s sclerotic arrangement)? She is dealing with fame marvelously, and you can tell this because she grounds it in sly Bright Eyes references. All things considered, this is a guaranteed live kicker and I can’t wait to hear some tosspot in a suit promote their insurance company over its opening stanza the next time I open a Youtube video 10/10 well played.
Shoegaze is a big genre and this is a big fucking post.
Cut out 10-15 minutes for yourself, and away we go…
Intro
I feel that practically everyone listens to shoegaze in some form or another, but what landmarks or band-families this entails varies surprisingly wildly depending on who you ask. Shoegaze is old and it’s big: 30+ years is easily enough time for successive generations of bed-headed indie fucks and aesthete space cadets to carve out their own fuzzy atmospheres and dish them into the proximity of every single other genre that looks good in mood lighting (and a few that don’t). Back in its ‘90s heyday, shoegaze was panned for being homogenous and turgid, guitar music’s version of an overused slow-motion effect, but it grown so many variants across so many styles that these remarks’ failure to pick up on its creative potential is case-closed moot.
All of which amounts to quite a lot. How do you navigate it? Who’s the next step if you never made it past My Bloody Valentine and Slowdive? What’s your ticket to mothership if your main exposure is from mayfly albums on the fringes of Bandcamp? What if you’re up to your arse in Deftones and Beach House and still aren’t sure whether real shoegaze is worth the money? Aren’t there any acts who’ve done something surprising or exciting with the genre? Why gaze in the first place?
Arcade Fire are back. Does lightning strike twice? Are once-great bands entitled to a second lease on life in the same way cats are an additional eight? Are we excited? I dunno, excitement’s a pretty hot commodity with this band. Much as I love vintage Arcade Fire, I never found the inclination to listen to Everything Now in its entirety: 2013’s Reflektor had already exhausted much of my patience with its inflated mishmash of arthouse flim over occasionally decent songs that insisted both on taking an eternity to end and on orbiting incremental degrees of pastichey conceptual bollocks. I had no desire whatsoever to hear those wavelengths aggressively reconfigured into a smug “expose” of the Gritty Realities Of Everyday Life. Maybe this was unfair, maybe apathy won and society died, maybe I was spending my time listening to better music – we’ll never know.
What I do know for sure is that “The Lightning I, II” is every inch The Song Destined To Make Me Believe In This Band Again – that is, insofar as it goes through all the motions that persuaded anyone to believe in them to begin with minus, unironically enough, a crucial pinch of electricity. As many have pointed out, it more or less sounds like one of the Suburbs‘ more expansive cuts (though I hear a subtle measure of Reflektor in the ’80s-tastic booming chords and twinkling accents of Régine Chassagne’s piano) – far as Canadian megaindie goes, this is all welcome but older hat than Kevin Drew’s baseball cap. The music video is also entirely appropriate for an Arcade…
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking antics: Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.
Today we speak to a mav, a gonz, a true salt, a vagrant wordsmith. He will scratch your back, make you hungry, cook you dinner, steal all your houseplants, and win a big rusty bronze prize for it because he is just that good. He has never been sober. He will never drop the ball. He has the flow; everything is flowing. Is he a true disciple of Heraclitus, or the Dionysian we’ve all dreamed we could be? Don’t ask him – he don’t fuckin know! What do we know?
Yes this isMiloRuggles!
Milo.
J-Johnny? Is that you?
Hi.
Where are we? Can you loosen these straps on my wrists?
You tell me. This is an interview. You have the answers. Give them to me. But first, Sowing gave me a stop-and-search warrant: I’m going to need to see your three most recent jams and last meal itinerary before we can go any further.
You’ve caught me at a hell of a time. I might even seem cool! Check these out:
Big Thief – Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You
Big Thief are a nu-hipster indie band from Brooklyn. They make mostly folk musics that many people enjoy but no-one really gets. If you get it, you’re out: house rules. As part of the Big Thief tradition of doing oblique things with tangential glimmers of Meaning that deepen more mystique than they open windows, the band have released a twenty-track single album entitled Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You. Everyone including you is already talking about it. Everyone has wildly different song rankings and all of them are fucking wrong.
We at KILL or KEEP HQ wondered whether there was something #deeper to explore, and so we assembled with a big question mark. We are ianb, JesperL, johnnyoftheWell, Pheromone and Sinternet. We hope you have fun.
Rules
Every song must either be KILLed or KEEPed.
If a contestant fails to KILL at least four songs, they will themselves be KILLed!
Special rule: Who Is The Big Thief?
If a contestant KILLs a song, they must accuse a celebrity of being the big thief.
If they KEEP a song, they are the big thief. They must reveal what they stole, and from whom.
First Impressions
Ian: so is this an album i can commit mass larceny to or no? because i set fire to 17 orphanages in the rural American south in preparation for…
Hello and welcome back to KILL or KEEP. It has been a while since we partied – sorry! What you’re about to read put a solid four-month roadblock in our way, for reasons that will make sense shortly. It was what the squares and the stooges call a really stupid idea; we at KILL or KEEP HQ do not typically pay this kind of bogwash any mind, but this time around we were victims of our own bravery. Such has always been our fate. Dare you share it? We believe that the following conversation(s) have significant artistic and that you should read them. Please also enjoy them.
The story of our long story is a short one: on a snivellous November day, JesperL (TMZ: late night) and johnnyoftheWell (TMZ: earlyish morning)were laughing about an obscure Japanese indietronica megalodon uncovered on RYM. The album was none other than Heavenly Punk Adagio by Tavito Nanao, a man who begets no introduction because we still know shit all about him.
The genre tags read Indietronica, Singer/Songwriter, Art Pop, Dream Pop, Psychedelic Pop, IDM, Neo-Psychedelia.
The runtime is 153 minutes over 35 tracks.
It isn’t in the Sputnik database and likely never will be.
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking antics: Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.
Today we speak to an old hand, a hand so seasoned and so shrewd that I was frankly at a loss as to where to start with him. How do you attempt to grill an entity for whom your imagination can conceive neither beginning nor end. It’s like interviewing God, but not – for he is no God, just a chill dude who, in his time, has written more reviews than you will ever read and deleted more than you will ever write. His presence still casts a long shadow over the site as we know it today, and so please give a hero’s welcome to: mynameischan!
Channing Freeman. Settle, baby. What’s up, how are you?
Pretty good, thanks for asking. Going through some health issues that are yet to be diagnosed, but we’re getting there.
Yikes, hope that worked out okay! How was your Christmas?
Very quiet and uneventful. We sold our condo and bought a house this year, so presents were light given the amount of money that we’ve been putting into the new property.
What’s the best-received present you’ve ever given?
You’re probably talking about Christmas, but I indulged in the cliche…
Literally death-god (死神), a Shinigami is a supernatural figure from Japanese mythology. They don’t spark joy and you do not want to meet one. They are the Grim Reaper, but in accordance of the ancient doctrine of thing, but Japanese, somehow better.
…Eyes
In the anime Death Note, the Shinigami have magic eyes that display the exact convenient predetermined time of each individual human’s lovely death like a floaty alarm clock from the future. If they kill someone before they’re destined to die, they get to steal their remaining lifespan. Shinigami are very good at killing humans because they have long nails and magic powers and freaky makeup. They are death gods.
This infodump is important and necessary because it’s the only way anyone will ever be able to extract a fraction of substance from Grimes’ doss of a new single. It is not good and probably kinda bad. There is little to analyse, which suits me just fine. Grimes wastes everything she learnt between Art Angels and Miss Anthropocene as a producer on a cut/paste kick-clap beat that has no opportunity to support a single good hook. She wastes everything she clearly didn’t learn from the “Kill vs. Maim” video’s cyberpunk death dream of definitely cultural probably appropriation on, like, the same shit but with longer nails. And different coloured eyes. The way she delivers the words Shinigami eyes gives me flashbacks to aural readings of My…
Hell has frozen over, Sputnikmusic has acknowledged singles as a legitimate artform, and Yeule has dropped a song we can dance to. From the comfort of our bedrooms. With or more likely without company. Under whatever concentration of serotonin. All. the. time.
Backed with a jungle beat courtesy of Danny L Harle, “Too Dead Inside” is as close as we’ve heard from Yeule to an upbeat pop song. The comatose dream pop they perfected on 2019’s Serotonin II is vaguely residual here, but it upends that album’s dissociated reverie into a more driving self-confrontation. Shock horror, it’s a dark one: too dead inside is less about getting lost in an apathetic wallow than scrutinising the root of that feeling as a coping mechanism for trauma.
Yeule’s vocals, typically indicative of some kind of digital ghost, take on a more urgent whisper-rap style throughout the verses, but they revert to a more familiar style as they hang every line in the chorus off the end of the one before. It’s like a waterpixelfall of uncertainty, and Yeule’s knack for keeping this kind of fragmentary delivery on personal footing is masterful. They also go above and beyond the call of duty by throwing in a surprise one-off prechorus before the second chorus that just so happens to contain the track’s most critical lyric (It’s not so hollow, I’m chasing […] my own shadow) and its best melody. Digression: count the number of pop-affiliates you’ve heard in the last five years who’ve done anything more with the space after their first chorus than copy/paste the same…
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking antics: Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.
Today we speak with the man with the pan: a gnarled veteran of the features tab and a primary culprit behind the Staff tab’s oversaturation of metal reviews. Is his bite as big as his boil? Please bow your heads and clean your kitchens for: Gnocchi/Nocte!
Hi.
Hi there Mr. _Well
What’s the time?
Ah, 4.44pm. I am sunburnt. The Ashes are on and I’m drinking sparkling shiraz.
Who are you?
It’s hard to pin down exactly. Mostly I just feel like an everyday Aussie who’s life rotates in three’s: work, family and food. “Who I am” seems like a deep dive especially when I’m really no one special, really.
Who are your people?
I have a family, so I guess they have to put up with my shit right? That would make them my people – but mostly I’ve forgotten how to make conversation with people face to face. Sure, I can have a professional conversation, getting things done that pertain to things that need to be done but when it comes down to it, dialogue between people I would make “my people”…awkward silences come easier than most lines.
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking antics: Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.
Today we embrace the softest boi of all the bois. He is wonderful, we all love him, and I am now going to think deep thoughts about hugging him instead of beefcaking up an uncomely introduction. Pleae make some candid noises of appreciation for…BlushfulHippocrene!
Hello!
Salam.
Who are you, and why does your name begin with Blushful?
My username, BlushfulHippocrene, is a Keats reference (from ‘Ode to a Nightingale’: ‘O for a beaker full of the warm South, / Full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene’). Pretty embarrassing, but aptly so I guess. I don’t remember what my thinking was; but I’d been studying Keats in high school literature, I probably thought the phrase was interesting, I forgot the p/w to my old account, I was dying of boredom in Pakistan, and I wanted to 5.0 a Bon Iver album. Hence, the first thing I could come up with: BlushfulHippocrene. I’m glad people started calling me Blush; I wince when I have to read the full thing.
You’re one of the most floaty huggable chillpeople on the interspace. I love this, but I also love bursting balloons: what’s something unexpected that makes you lose your cool,…
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking antics: Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.
Today we welcome the most expensive cocoa in the Staff chocolate cupboard. He is a gentlemen among warthogs. He prances heavenwards while the rest of us wipe our noses with our unpaid utility bills. He knows how to write, he’s the essence of charm and dignity when on duty, and he’s too nice to do much more than ignore the hell out of your sorry arse if you’re not up to standard. Believe you me, that’s the treatment most of us deserve and (oh fuckin’ yes) receive. Give it up for the one, the only…Pon!
Pon. Hi.
Henlo!
What is your alignment?
Based on others’ assessments of me I’m either lawful or chaotic neutral. So I guess I’m completely self-serving and my methods depend on the situation.
Why are you named after a Kyary Pamyu Pamyu song?
“Pone” gave way to “Pön”, which resulted in an attempt to have my Sput name changed to the latter. Regrettably, because Sput’s code is as old as the internet itself, the accented character broke the site…
My username, BlushfulHippocrene, is a Keats reference (from ‘Ode to a Nightingale’: ‘O for a beaker full of the warm South, / Full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene’). Pretty embarrassing, but aptly so I guess. I don’t remember what my thinking was; but I’d been studying Keats in high school literature, I probably thought the phrase was interesting, I forgot the p/w to my old account, I was dying of boredom in Pakistan, and I wanted to 5.0 a Bon Iver album. Hence, the first thing I could come up with: BlushfulHippocrene. I’m glad people started calling me Blush; I wince when I have to read the full thing. 
![Stream Kyary Pamyu Pamyu - Ponponpon [cover] by nathfin | Listen online for free on SoundCloud](https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000057029172-51clul-t500x500.jpg)
