“Sidelines” is the new song by the music artist Phoebe Bridgers. You know who she is, glad to be on the same page. Is it a good song? It recalls the minimalist keyboards of the title-track of her 2020 phenomenon  statement zeitgeister meme album Punisher, but where that song’s progression was intricate, fragile and full of intrigue, this one follows butterfingered plinky-plonks and emointense study beats and an antidynamic chord pattern so tepid Aaron Dessner would doze into his decaf chaipalace eyemask latte over it. Bridgers’ vocal performance peaks when she channels Imogen Heap on the occasional high note, and it dips when she mumbles some bollocks about personifying her houseplants instead of objectifying herself to the chonk of that babysnare. Is this a little cruel? To the lyrics: oh okay, Phoebe Bridgers is using the first song released from her new(ish)found platform of supercelebdom to affirm the confidence she’s found to leave her house, all while weighing up a fresh stint at Berklee (hardly unwarranted by this song’s sclerotic arrangement)? She is dealing with fame marvelously, and you can tell this because she grounds it in sly Bright Eyes references. All things considered, this is a guaranteed live kicker and I can’t wait to hear some tosspot in a suit promote their insurance company over its opening stanza the next time I open a Youtube video 10/10 well played.

Score: 2/5

Sputnik Singles Chart:

1. Blut Aus Nord – “That Cannot Be Dreamed” (4.0)
2. Regina Spektor – “Becoming All Alone” (3.9)
3. Yeule – “Too Dead Inside” (3.5)
4. Arcade Fire – “The Lightning I, II” (3.2)
5. Bad Omens – “Like A Villain” (2.8)
6. Muse – “Won’t Stand Down” (2.5)
7. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Black Summer” (2.3)
8. Avril Lavigne – “Bite Me” (2.3)
9. Weezer – “A Little Bit of Love” (2.3)
10. Shinedown – “Planet Zero” (2.2)
11. Grimes – “Shinigami Eyes” (1.9)