fucking lol

From past experience with these guys, I wouldn't bet on hearsay or "leaks" until it actually lands.

swans

this will definitely happen

the fuck

the "source close to the band" is literally just a random dude posting on reddit

no-one wants this

Sounds like more bullshit to me.

what the hell are these track names?

Interesting...

"...over 2 and a half hours of material..."

Oh no.

IF this is true, it looks pretty Astonishing to me. I wonder if these will chronicle the journey of Emperor Nefaryus.

We may all be as close to the band as that source.

jesus christ those generic prog metal names fuck

I bet it'll be better than The Glowing Man

already bored

what the fuck is this it hurts just by looking at it please delete this

all >10-minute songs, come on, just fuck off

Should be interesting...if true.

Apparently Buzz Osborne (of Melvins) is the "source:" http://teamrock.com/news/2016-06-29/buzz-osborne-shortest-track-on-upcoming-tool-album-is-12-minutes-long

I ain't believing shit until the album is in my ears.

i'm sorry is this a dream theater new album announcement thread

i'd rather look at pictures of dead kids than read the track names that include word "act" and a number in it

Source doesn't work, I bet this is fake.

I love this band to death, but...I dunno. The 75-80 minutes they had with Aenima, Lateralus and 10,000 Days were plenty and perfect for their sound.
Most probably isn't legit though.

"We may all be as close to the band as that source."

[2]

remember that someone on sput predicted that they would release a double album. damn

You know it's not them because it doesn't have a bunch of ambient garbage filler tracks.

the song lenghts look very fucky for me tho.

double album
2 and half hours of material
all songs exceed the 10 min mark

loool this is the fantasy of evey tool fanboy, literally. whoever did this even tried to toolify all the song names awww cute

Fuck yea ... They are now a full fledged Post metal band - Rosetta , CoL , Dirge , Crib45 song lengths!!!

"Source doesn't work, I bet this is fake."

It doesn't work because people still haven't learned to drop the fucking s in htpp for news articles. Wait even without the s it's 403 so yeah fucked up double lol.

"You know it's not them because it doesn't have a bunch of ambient garbage filler tracks."

Maybe they're built in this time?

Also this is most likely bullshit and if it isn't it will suck.

So is this going to be like a proper concept album?

Only metal bands that for me ever got away with a 80+ minute album length are The Ocean (Precambrian), Esoteric (The Maniacal Vale) and Dream Theater (Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence).

I'll believe it when it leaks.

MY GOD WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THESE TITLES IS THE GAYEST DUDE ALIVE I DON'T GET LAID AT ALL BUT THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST JUMPED OVER THE BOUNDARIES OF EXISTENCE WITH HIS CREATIVITY FUCKING ASTRAL ACT 69 FUCK YOU MAN

Lmao yeah, those song titles are cringeworthy as fuck.

"The Ocean (Precambrian), Esoteric (The Maniacal Vale) and Dream Theater (Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence)."

you were on a good roll until that third one...

Would they really not be releasing any radio singles? Sounds like a bunch of reddit neckbeard shit

this is no more or less credible than every other update we don't need to make a news article every time some random fucker makes up some shit on the internet jesus christ

how long can you guys ignore the cringe, who gives a shit if it's real, oh my god zeta act 666 fuck me

REGRESOLUTION HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"you were on a good roll until that third one..."

Haha, sorry man, I dug it. Not DT's best, but still damn good and way better than that turd they released last year.

keep that title

fucking super long songs nice...if this true

L M AO really?

How the fuck did they get exact to the second time lengths this far before release? like seriously?

i'd love this kind of album if it wasn't made by tool and wasn't excruciatingly boring

Super fake

LOL. This is fake. No way this is real.

This album is not happening.

@dick was more about the band itself tbh

ye honestly this is fake af. they didnt even record the songs yet so how could they know exactly how long they are ffs

According to a source "close to the band"
lol

According to Manyard's housemaid

wonder how many of these songs will be about Maynards mom

This looks so much like the fake lateralus name and tracklist.

I can't believe this actually got approved haha

Hope it is real but they probably went down the Lateralus route of fake song titles to avoid leaking and piracy

Tool broke up in 2008. Maynard just needs to keep the hype going so people still listen to his Puscifer records

And buy his wine

Propogate
The Dividen Principale
Oeneia
Melancholie Part 1 Namassica
Melancholie Part 2: Abruption
The Porter
Consilium
Aarchnelic
Siknari
Outer Guymon - interlude
Black, An Adaptable Ticon
A Eumathic

Nuh uh. No. D+

A+ thread

If all this info is true, Maynard will get angry that it all leaked and they'll have to write a completely new album, which will take another 10 years to make.

"Anyway Stoner Witch is great"

like seriously guys read the article

What if this album turned out to be 10,000 days long...

lol @ "its over 25 hours long" in the url

Jfc Tool... Making up for lost time, eh?

sputnik news sourcing ultimate guitar, think we got a pulitzer contender here.

Double album - nice
All long songs - iffy
Song names - lol

This has to be fake, comes off as Tool fanfiction

If this is true then an hour and a half of it will prob be filler.

@TheSonomaDude

ahhahahahaha

the "source close to the band" is literally just a random dude posting on reddit

10000 seconds is about 2 and a half hours....
discuss

I really don't get why people are taking a sourceless "leak" seriously

These song names are just numerology worshipping new age DMT prog metal bullshit, Tool are definitely fucking around if they are even involved in the first place

Can we just ban Tool news unless the band actually does something?

MACMAN IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!

These song names are like something a Tool spoof from South Park would come up with.

Damn, this will almost definitely not live up to anyone's expectations.

I don't know how to feel about this. I don't trust Maynard anymore you know

Aiwaz on the forums is pumped

Figures he is excited

Somewhere MJK is sapping dark energy from this thread

Dark energy for more Green Jelly

"How much more solid of a lead could you want?"

something more than just "some guy on reddit who claims to know what he's talking about," maybe? Gimme a name. This doesn't qualify as a good journalistic source.

its over 25 hours long

Horrible group

Who gives a fuck

Bullshit

swans [2]

People actually are buying this? One track is called "Pascal's Wager" come on.

lol but thats by far the best name on here, and probably the only one Tool would use

April Fool's was months ago.

its_over_25_hours_long.html

So your telling me Regresolution is off the table? @space

Regresolution. Holy shit.

It's like Stargasm's handicapped cousin.

No thanks.

And to think their that their last 3 albums were too long lol

The skepticism is beyond real. Reminds me of the fake track listing for Lateralus back in who knows when.

Wonder how much of that's actually true (probably not a lot)

^probably none of it

"Regresolution" I'm cracking up at some of these

"reportedly"

In other words, it's probably more bullshit :D

I kinda want them to just break up at this point.

Remember when Moonsorrow claimed their next album would be called Gay Pig?

Gay Pig>Decem

The source is a guy from Reddit how gullible are some of you

"Pascal's Wager"

i'll gurgle some jew turd if they actually release a track called "the awakening"

Biggest criticism of their previous work? It was a bit tl;dl

So...they release a double album. Tool of all bands should release 35 minute long albums, they'd probably be great in that format.

the source of this all is literally a reddit post saying

"I can absolutely not name my sources" and everyone rolled with it.

hahahaha terrible track names. sounds like a C-grade tech death band's debut record

Successful double albums...'Physical Graffiti', 'Mellon Collie', 'Tusk', 'The White Album' - what did they have in common? Diversity and the spirit of adventure

All these songs are the same 13 minute length, god help us all...

!remindme in 99 years

Never had any desire to listen to this band.

I'd probably be more excited by this if it were back in 2010 or such. Will still get it as I am to this day a casual Tool fan. Still think their devout fanbase is cancer though.

Hardcore, die hard Tool fans are just the worst

thank GOD

"Hardcore, die hard Tool fans are just the worst"

Hardcore, die hard Tool haters are 10x worse

"Successful double albums...'Physical Graffiti', 'Mellon Collie', 'Tusk', 'The White Album' - what did they have in common? Diversity and the spirit of adventure

All these songs are the same 13 minute length, god help us all..."

So not only are you already judging an album before a single song comes out, but the album isn't even real. Jesus.

Gonna be 2 and a half hours of maynard farting into a microphone accompanied with a jpeg of a middle finger

don't forget the cat squeezing, that's important

If this was real, how could anyone think this was a good idea?

Already bored [2]

The fuck....

Looking forward to hearing dem 12 minute jams.

When I read "Tool reportedly releasing double album" I thought "Ah ok, let's see if it's any near believable" and here I'm just disappointed in Sputnik. This is not funny and should not have made it to the news section.

Who approved this article, probably Sowing getting in some last laughs b4 checking out

Sowing's going? :'(

Yeah where've you been, he made 15 lists about it this past week

HYPE HYPE

I thought the new album was called "The North Corridor"

meh

Chevelle is so much better now.

This is literally being reported everywhere, but seems like total BS.

The most important part is that it says mixing is being completed. How in the world are there track lengths if things are probably still being reworked?

And who would "leak" the track lengths too? Not very Tool-like song titles either. And I highly doubt Tool would ditch their stupid little interludes. This mixed with what their douche website owner reporting that they still need to finish interludes. People are gullible AF, but I'll be humbled if it turns out true. .0935% chance though.

Guys it's legit. Maynard came to me last night in my sleep and he told me so.

/r/music strikes again.

Personally I want to defend my sources, but I hear Maynard and Les Claypool are in talks to have a collaborative album "Ween Cake Hippie Shit" out by at least 2022.

Lmao they just went full Dream Theater.

Half of those tracks will be ambient hippie drums

so this gets approved but my very relevant article about El-P trashing Pokemon Go doesn't :^(

Damn these websites knowing this article will generate clicks even though it's BS! And man, when you click something like this you expect a bit more than a reddit source lol.

"Half of those tracks will be ambient hippie drums" Yes.

Tools from Topographic Oceans

how is this news when buckethead hasn't released a new album in over 3 months

"Bucketdead"

wow, this might have been exciting if i was 17

Sputnik posting rumors as "news". C'mon.

Funnier is the people commenting on the song titles like this is even real. Before 10,000 Days was released Tool released a fake track listing with dumb song titles, too.

Lol this thread is hilarious

This is the most Tool thing I have ever seen.

everything about this screams fake and gay

I know for a fact that this is real. I can't say how, but just trust me.

Same. Just trust Chug guys

Maynard communicated with me telepathically during one of my pineal gland massage sessions and told me it's real.

Spirals n shit with intwined consciousness of the messages. Tool lyrics m8

Spirals belong in Gurren Lagann not irl try harder noob.

but guys what is this was real
what if this actually the album

At this point though, who really cares? Release an album or don't; it's not like I'm gonna sit on the edge of my seat waiting six years for these jerkoffs to actually get in the studio.

>every song is 12 minutes
lol...

This thread is the funniest shit man

I'll believe it when I see it, which we likely won't.

Holy shit this thread is fucking amazing.

Yeah, this is one of those things that I'll believe once I'm holding the CD in my hand.

Jesus Dream Theater would think this album is self-indulgent. If any of this is true (which is doubtful, considering the entire article is vague as all hell), it'll be an impenetrable mess.

lol guarantee this is just another made up leak from some fat neckbeard who got momentarily bored of his my little pony porn-athon in his mums basement.

Those song titles seem to get gayer by the minute.

Hate this band

Hate this band

This article was made to rile up a few Tool fans, can't believe it actually got approved.

There's a 99.9% chance this is a load of shit.

My pleasure, it was that or ultimateguitar

we're never getting this album and I've accepted that now

mind you, it's mildly interesting that the tracklist from the reddit post was removed

Every time a new piece of 'information' about the album gets around, it's basically a punchline

you're a punchline.

no one talks back to tuna u hear me?!?

what you gonna do about it, punk?

"thanks for reposting terrible metalsucks content"

Metalsucks would make an even more cringeworthy article out of this crock.

yeah like the one that is literally linked in the article

it's right there man

I'm willing to listen anything honest they put out. Hope this is real and decent. Other than that, Ι'm not going to criticize an album I don't really know exists and a band I'm going to worship any other day.

Fuck, I looked past that and now I look like a complete idiot.
*puts gun in his mouth*

DickLaurentIsDeadIsDead

We've met before, haven't we?

Don't think it's real, seems much to clicheed.

"We've met before, haven't we?"

At your house, don't you remember?

Are you sure?

Metalsucks cited an anonymous reddit user. Jesus Christ.

I hadn't heard the double album rumor until now, but Buzz Osborne did mention he was told the shortest song they're working on is around 12 minutes long. That doesn't mean shit though, as it's entirely possible they've only worked on a few songs.

Of course. As a matter of fact, I'm there right now.

What do you mean? You're where?

Two things:

1) "The Awakening"

You don't call a song that after 20+ years surely

2) Principles of March (12:01)

(12:01)

Absolutely no way this is the actual tracklist

At your house.

That's fucking crazy.

Call me.

Dial your number.

Go ahead.

I told you I was here.

How'd you do that?

I lol'd hard.

Ask me.

How'd you get inside my house?

zaruyache suck it

You invited me.

It is not my custom to go where I am not wanted.

Who are you?

*chuckle* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

stop

Give me back my phone.

It has been a pleasure talking to you

Where's all the unnecessary interludes though?

The album is nothing but interludes

Maynard is a pussy. Especially for treating his fans like this

he doesn't owe them anything, it's their fault for acting in such a desperate and obsessed way

lol okay

actually it's confirmed that this is the track list for Kanye's next record.

It's gonna be kinda funny when this album ends up sucking and most of Tool's diehard fanbase commits suicide

how the fuck could anyone sit through all of this in one sitting

also doubt this is real

Lost Highway quotes out of nowhere

"Although I really don’t think this is a troll job from my source there is one thing that makes me suspicious. ‘Decem,’ if my research is right, means ‘ten.’"

oh jeez what a source

"Maynard is a pussy. Especially for treating his fans like this "

I think u forgot that:

1. maynard has all the reason in the world to treat his fans like this

2. as a musician, as long as he's putting out music, he has no obligation to put out any sort of album from any certain project

3. he makes wine how could he be a pussy

In other words
Tool is still filled with a bunch of tools

please never speak again

lol

well that sounds made up

But Pots, a CLOSE SOURCE said its true so its totally true.

"close source" could literally be anyone. It could be verm.

I'm disappointed that the track lengths aren't prime numbers or some shit.

It was me you guys. I was offered a hot sandwich and kettle chips in exchange for any recent info and couldn't resist. My bad.

Sandwich was good though.

And you had just listened to a "best of djent" playlist?

This means nothing.

This is more idiotic than pokemon go.

I'll believe it when I hear it

hopefully fucking not. I'm very skeptical. If its true, it will blow. But its likely bull.

Brand New is also reportedly releasing a triple album and every song is reportedly named after a pokemon

Says a source close to the band

Maybe the close source was Maynard's cat

Either way I'm not expecting to be blown away by this, Maynard passion clearly lies in winemaking not music making these days

Maynard doesn't write any of the music, so the worst we'd get from him is sub par vocals and lyrics I suppose.

Maynard's too busy doing the vocals for Chevelle anyway

I sure hope this isn't a double album. I don't think Tool is capable of making one without 60% of it being useless bullshit.

I agree with most here though, no filler interludes in the tracklist feels suspect and very unlike Tool. I don't believe it for a second.

"Maynard doesn't write any of the music, so the worst we'd get from him is sub par vocals and lyrics I suppose."

Does Maynard even know what a guitar is

i never got the appeal with tool

theyre alright

ill give this a proper go without expectation if it actually comes out

After 10 years there better be a double fucking album, although all the initial leaks for 10,000 Days were completely inaccurate and BS so I won't believe any of this until I see it.

Maynard puts more effort into his stupid fucking costumes then his vocals live anyway, at least thst was the case when I saw him. He had some fkn laser pointer that he was shining at people instead of singing during parabola and that pissed me off, I almost wanted to run and confront him on stage but we all know what happened to the last guy who tried that

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/upcoming_releases/maynard_issues_statement_on_report_that_tool_are_releasing_double_album_this_fall.html

and there you have it

Someday we'll have new music...........

Mythbusted

*memebusted

maynard has such a way with words

Honestly you're kind of a cuck if you're still hoping and pining for more rumors about Tool. Stop hitting yourself.

I'll believe this when I see it.

2 believable

According to the song titles I guess it might be a collaboration with The Mars Volta.....LOL!

I haven't grabbed a Tool record in some time but if this is true and accurate then I'm in. Sounds interesting for sure.

it's like the fake lateralus leak that happened

it could at least be a sign of progress

this is definitely happening

oh yeah, most certainly
no doubt

One day Tool will release a new album. It'll have eleven tracks which will last from three to four minutes.

this is "my dad works for nintendo" tier

I bet sucks and everything is in 4/4 and sounds like maynards current band.

Lordy

"I bet sucks and everything is in 4/4"

yea 4/4 is objectively the worst time signature like its not even hard to play at or creative at all why listen to it when you can have time signatures that cant be mathematically rationalized in decimal form

Tru. If you aren't playing in 5.5/8 with 7/8 polys shut the fuck up

i dont even know what that means so it must be amazing

Tool are too deep for u then. Twisting sand of time and shit yah

damn yeah just when I thought I figured out the true meaning of Stinkfist

What about Hooker with a Penis

lol Tool

polyrythyms help open up my third eye

this was my favorite album of last year

" If you aren't playing in 5.5/8 with 7/8 polys shut the fuck up"
Agreed.

If it's not a concept album about deflating one's ego then I don't care.

Disc 1 is white noise and static. Disc 2, songs. Source: a guy that just walked by.

It isn't good unless it's in 34.85/47.37 time signatures

would seem the contribs have been chosen

wtf i didnt mean to post that in here

God @kingdedethefifth thats just the same as 3485/4737 . What a casual.

"double album this year"
Still waitin'

yes! i love this band.

so uh

heh

So yeah I think we can all assume that this was a false leak.

I'll remain under the assumption that theyre done until I have an album in my hands

still might be the leaked tracklisting for ne obliviouscaris tho

I come back to this occasionally just to reread those song names and get a good laugh.

Is Tool a band or something

this is the album that could have ended music as we know it

unfortunately we will never get to hear it

Regresolution and Divinotus always crack me up. And all songs 12 min.+. lol

Tool is now officially dad rock

Tool is dead

Tool can't come to the phone right now

tool - dereputation

Tool - Gravitaserial

lmao

Tool- ProgMania

this is their year

This better have some 42/37 time sigs or I'm gonna be pissed after this wait

Maybe most pretentious thing ive ever seen

Tool - Amorphenom

Thanks for bumping this, this is fucking hilarious

Regresolution

LOL Pascal's Wager

pascal's weiner

Regresolution made me lol

this was a good necro

Tool - Pheridontangamisticalesaturivolserationalism

https://twitter.com/mjkeenan/status/754454828428824576

Necro'd!!!!

Tool - Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis Aromatica Germenexcitación en Orgías de Viscosa y Amarga Putrefacción

surely the one song with it's run time literally a second over 12 minutes was the giveaway

Yeah, I particularly love the run times on these

This was the greatest post ever

Tbh all of these could be actual names of Tool songs.

It was almost TOO believable haha.

Lol