Sputnikmusic launches on TikTok

2021-04-01 by JohnnyoftheWell STAFF | 87 Comments
In a widely rumoured but previously unconfirmed turn of events, we can confirm the upcoming launch of a Sputnikmusic Official TikTok channel, to hit the app sometime within the next fortnight.

This follows a mass exodus of users whose niche proclivities and oral ventilation needs have found themselves better served on TikTok's insta-gratinfication dopamine pad ​than on ​the fringes of Sputnik's ever unupdated pizza crust. In particular, this follows the recent reroosting of Sputnik user Lord(e)po)))ts, who has attracted millions of TikTok views and almost three celebrity endorsements for his pithy serrations on the difference between post-garage elevator music and elemental designer trip-hop. High-ups in the Moderator ranks have alleged that a Sputnik debut on the app may bring Deviant back, but scepticism remains rife.

An official statement [this one] underlines that this move has been a long time coming and is in absolutely in no way an attempt to stabilise the site's image amidst a recent onslaught of controversial footage from unaffiliated user accounts. These include SitarHero's since-banned montage of dead kittens, rodrigo90's confusing and challenging impersonations of Anthony Fantano in lewd drag(?), Get Low's ruthless dismantling of album ratings in a post-QAnon society, and pheromone's nostalgic reenactments of John K. Samson lyrics, visualised by various jaded rollings of big ones in the corners of living rooms of buildings he no longer has legal access to.

The Staff account will share more wholesome videos, including but not limited to the following:

1) Robertsona explains his trade secrets for baking the best vegan fruitcake for non-vegans.
2) Sowing's instructional groove series on how to dance to music with no pulse.
3) Trebor reads aloud real-life takes from real boomers of the unseen internet in a very passionate tone of voice.
4) Rowan smiles at the internet.

On behalf of everyone on Sputnik, we urge you to subscribe to the Staff channel and wish you the best of luck in your own TikTok endeavours.

Tagged: Sputnikmusic

Comments:Add a Comment 
JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
34741 Comments


The day has finally come

Digging: Xiu Xiu - OH NO

SteakByrnes
April 1st 2021
23128 Comments


I'll do the Say So dance

Digging: ERRA - ERRA

zelenichajnik
April 1st 2021
606 Comments


I will watch Steak doing the Say So dance

Digging: Have a Nice Life - Deathconsciousness

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
34741 Comments


I will react to you watching Steak doing the Say So dance

nightbringer
April 1st 2021
1872 Comments


Boo, bring back the podcast

neekafat
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
20986 Comments


I will watch your reaction video of him watching Steak do the Say So dance

Pheromone
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
13537 Comments


i will not stop my art

Digging: Julia Kwamya - Feel Good About Feeling Bad

GhandhiLion
April 1st 2021
11071 Comments


riveting

Digging: Radiohead - Pablo Honey

dedex
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
7449 Comments


FINALLY

Digging: Andy Stott - Never the Right Time

Feather
April 1st 2021
6655 Comments


@nightbringer what is this podcast called, I am intrigued.

someone
April 1st 2021
2734 Comments


as good a time as any to tell you that I have AIDS and you have it too

someone
April 1st 2021
2734 Comments


"Boo, bring back the podcast"

dude there was a podcast?

Pheromone
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
13537 Comments


sputnikpodcast

Pheromone
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
13537 Comments


looking for podcast partner where we sit and rank all 37,042 of sowing's comments

evilford
April 1st 2021
51296 Comments


*fake belly laugh*

Digging: Knoll - Interstice

Sabrutin
April 1st 2021
7600 Comments


onlyfans?

Digging: Otay:onii - Ming Ming

Pheromone
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
13537 Comments


me and porc have an OF coming soon watch this space

ieatbabies795
April 1st 2021
795 Comments


Nice.

Digging: KANGA - You And I Will Never Die

normaloctagon
April 1st 2021
5073 Comments


niche porclivities

Josh D.
April 1st 2021
16415 Comments


Sputnikmusic launches Xanga page.

someone
April 1st 2021
2734 Comments


"looking for podcast partner where we sit and rank all 37,042 of sowing's comments"

count me in bich

botb
April 1st 2021
14408 Comments


Stay tuned for my youtube reaction channel where I yawn my way through every black malachite release

someone
April 1st 2021
2734 Comments


Sputnikmusic exclusive merch

including bespoke kimonos and loudspeakers to make people hear your wrong opinion even better

for special Patreon donors also a t-shirt with all comment sections in which LordePots got into a shitfight. (luv u Lordy)

garas
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
5903 Comments


Oh no.

Digging: Keygen Church - ????????????

TheNotrap
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
15866 Comments


At the forefront of the music business.

Digging: Cannibal Corpse - Violence Unimagined

someone
April 1st 2021
2734 Comments


the most trusted voice in music

Darius The Imposter
April 1st 2021
22840 Comments


lmao

WatchItExplode
April 1st 2021
8633 Comments


Tf?

DDDeftoneDDD
April 1st 2021
16923 Comments


edit: nice! Following

Digging: Kauan - Ice Fleet

BlitzPhoenix98
April 1st 2021
193 Comments


Oh dear

BlitzPhoenix98
April 1st 2021
193 Comments


...inb4 this is an April Fools joke.

MercySeat
April 1st 2021
362 Comments


Brilliant

ArsMoriendi
April 1st 2021
33637 Comments


It clearly is, but also MX please update Sputnik :o

Digging: Van Morrison - His Band and the Street Choir

DDDeftoneDDD
April 1st 2021
16923 Comments


@BlitzPhoenix98 edit the comment please

AsleepInTheBack
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
7097 Comments


big if true (as Johnny boi would say)

Kompys2000
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
5611 Comments


Poggers

Digging: Witxes - A Fabric of Beliefs

Slex
April 1st 2021
10984 Comments


Hmmm I'm not completely sold yet, tell me more about 4

Digging: Kali Masi - Laughs

gryndstone
April 1st 2021
1906 Comments


Where's the link

Trebor.
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
57757 Comments


I'm playing midwest emo guitar riffs over boomer cringe

Digging: Sex-Dragoon - Mayo

sonictheplumber
April 1st 2021
12347 Comments


april chodes

JesperL
Contributing Reviewer
April 1st 2021
2789 Comments


F I N A L L Y
will there be an audiovisual radiohead ranking? please?

Digging: half/cut - Salt an Atlas

ieatbabies795
April 1st 2021
795 Comments


“Stay tuned for my youtube reaction channel where I yawn my way through every black malachite release”

Subscribe.

ieatbabies795
April 1st 2021
795 Comments


What does this announcement mean we might get an influx of tiktok users?
Sputnik always the innovators not the followers 😎

ChaoticVortex
April 1st 2021
1139 Comments


LOL

someone
April 1st 2021
2734 Comments


will JohnnyoftheWell finally show his mug?

LeddSledd
April 1st 2021
4687 Comments


Hugh Puddles mug reveal when [2]

Digging: Brainiac - Bonsai Superstar

normaloctagon
April 1st 2021
5073 Comments


psh y'all aint seen johnny's mug? hottie

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
34741 Comments


https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61g8XAN6d2L._AC_SL1200_.jpg

am getting a haircut tomorrow so maybe later lol

nightbringer
April 1st 2021
1872 Comments


To those asking about the podcast, look through last year's staff blogs!

BallsToTheWall
April 1st 2021
50345 Comments


Who wants to see my junk?

Digging: Midnight Odyssey - Biolume Part 2 - The Golden Orb

Spec
April 1st 2021
36279 Comments


"Trebor reads aloud real-life takes from real boomers of the unseen internet in a very passionate tone of voice."

on second thought...

loveisamixtape
April 1st 2021
10087 Comments


nice give me a mute thread button next plz kings

Nocte
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
13938 Comments


Man, I wanted a water park.

Emim
April 1st 2021
30019 Comments


Maybe I'm officially too old for this site.

Digging: Ignite - Our Darkest Days

TheNewWhack
April 1st 2021
1629 Comments


Emim, you and me both.

MiloRuggles
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
1168 Comments


You can be sure we're all pulling our weight on this one.
My own involvement will consist of transcribing every staff review in sputnik's long and storied history over to this new medium. I have set aside six 15 second increments in the course of my usual day to achieve this, so estimating a 2034 finish.
We'll have our waterpark, nocte. By hook or by crook, we'll have it.

MyNameIsPencil
April 1st 2021
5920 Comments


talk to me when sputnik opens the official OnlyFans account where sowing takes off his clothes while talking about indie rock


Digging: Hands Like Houses - Ground Dweller

RogueNine
April 1st 2021
4670 Comments


*checks calendar*

Trundle
April 1st 2021
3460 Comments


good stuff, johnny

Nocte
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2021
13938 Comments


--talk to me when sputnik opens the official OnlyFans account where sowing takes off his clothes while talking about indie rock--

OnlyFans' servers aren't ready for that.

figure337
April 1st 2021
641 Comments


Well I guess this site is about to get worse.

tinathefatlard
April 1st 2021
1784 Comments


^^^ Like that’s even possible. Post a music list and nobody talks about music anymore. It’s all memes, peepees and weewees.

Spec
April 1st 2021
36279 Comments


sounds like sputnik in the 2000's a bunch of people would get together & next thing you know it was all hands & butts & tits and woo hoo hoo.. then AIDS ruined everything

Emim
April 1st 2021
30019 Comments


The user or the disease?

what's the difference?

Spec
April 1st 2021
36279 Comments


heuheheuhe

Trundle
April 2nd 2021
3460 Comments


Omfg

cordwainerbird
April 2nd 2021
655 Comments


big if true

Digging: Alien Sex Fiend - Acid Bath

combustion07
April 2nd 2021
8171 Comments


There was a sputnik music podcast? Can it still be found somewhere? I wanna hear. Never been on tiktok but I might download it for this

Supercoolguy64
April 2nd 2021
10379 Comments


Wtf Mx didn’t change the forums to make them look like the mxtabs forums worst April fools ever

Digging: Ween - Pure Guava

rockarollacola
April 2nd 2021
678 Comments


I still refuse to redownload that app. Had it for 3 days and seriously couldn't stand it.

Supercoolguy64
April 2nd 2021
10379 Comments


First time I got tik tok I was like glued to it for like 2 days and now I rarely touch it cuz that’s all the time you need to see everything its user base has to offer

ian b
Contributing Reviewer
April 2nd 2021
1934 Comments


tik tok is like how vine was, in that you should let other people do the dirty work and filter the good stuff out of the shit into compilations/playlists together so you dont have to deal with videos of someone's dog doing the Toosie Slide or whatever

Digging: Brockhampton - Roadrunner: New Light, New Machine

jouroboros
April 2nd 2021
95 Comments


Greatest post in Sputnik history. And a refreshing laugh among a rather boring April 1st

zeitgeistaddendum2
April 2nd 2021
28 Comments


I read this post yesterday and was like, "Hm, weird move. But okay." I only realised this was a joke when commuting to work today... I am severely disappointed in myself.

Winesburgohio
Staff Reviewer
April 2nd 2021
3132 Comments


Rowan smiling at the internet should be behind a paywall

Digging: Skullcrusher - Skullcrusher

Project
April 2nd 2021
4734 Comments


why would you deny access to that glorious event

Digging: half/cut - Salt an Atlas

bloc
April 2nd 2021
65087 Comments


This news alone kinda makes me want Tiktok now damn

Digging: TWICE - FANCY YOU

ieatbabies795
April 2nd 2021
795 Comments


It’s pretty much OnlyFans Lite with some added memes, get it

Shamus248
April 2nd 2021
491 Comments


Next: Sputnikmusic goes on Pornhub. Shamus248 gives verbal fellatio to Rascal Flatts

Parallels
April 3rd 2021
8968 Comments


tiktok is the first big update in a decade? ffs just ban me micheal jordan style so i dont have to come back to this place ever again

Digging: Eminem - Relapse

MO
April 3rd 2021
23235 Comments


cool I'll just stick to this site thanks ya fools

Wizard
April 3rd 2021
20321 Comments


Awful app.

Pheromone
Contributing Reviewer
April 3rd 2021
13537 Comments


it's a shame we wont be seeing you over on the tiktok parallels and mo

Ikarus14
April 4th 2021
1420 Comments


Posted on April 1st? Oh ho!

Egarran
April 4th 2021
21855 Comments


You better not be implying this isn't true

chaywa
April 4th 2021
84 Comments


It's just Sowing listening to TDAG every single video

Parallels
April 5th 2021
8968 Comments


"it's a shame we wont be seeing you over on the tiktok parallels and mo"

Somehow I think it won't be. Good luck ;)



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





MOST VIEWED NEWS

Jesse Lacey Allegations
Jayyvon Opens Up About Abuse
R.I.P. Chester Bennington
The Fall of Troy bassist melts do..
The Story So Far's vocalist dropk..
R.I.P. David Bowie
Deftones stream new single
R.I.P. Lemmy
Brand new Brand New Single
Killswitch Engage debut new single



OTHER RECENT NEWS

Fyrnask's 4th LP coming
Bassnectar Allegations
Dunerider debut LP
Bretus stream single
SnowThaProduct's Child Support
Orchards cover Crazy Town
RIP DMX
Carnifex Cover Korn
New Prince Posthumous Album
New Flotsam and Jetsam Song
New Bad Astronaut song, vinyls
New Cannibal Corpse playthrough
New The Offspring Song
New Withered Single and Album
Phlebotomized Stream New EP

» see all news

FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2019 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy