oh boy

hahahaha

Sputnikers are going to take this way too seriously.

Ire said it all

oh man wait til he hears burzum

Sputnikers are going to take this way too seriously. [2]

Shit is hilarious.

The metal will win

Metal=9/11=Obama? Lol what?

I can't believe this got approved

"and this is why I'm not a republican."

Because of satire?

I am a requblican and this is such bullshit! The lyrics are meant to be funny! Do you really thing cannibal corpse really means that? No come on

They think that's the biggest problem in America? What about those retards who protest at fallen soldiers funerals?

Damnit Jom, what have you done?

RICK SANTORUM TRIED TO KILLLLLL THE METAL

BUT THE METAL HAD ITS WAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY

Get Dave Grohl on the case.

Oh my god guys Jom even said that the article isn't real in the first comment and some of you people are already getting into this.

but yeah this was funny.

Still want Randy Blythe 2012

lol at retarded sputnikers already getting angry about a fake news article.

JUST LEAVE METAL ALONE

"In response to Santorum’s metal onslaught, Mitt Romney officially denounced his earlier position of 'tolerance towards all fans of extreme music'. This, in spite of the fact that GWAR played his inauguration as governor of Massachusetts back in 2003." Shit had me laughing so hard.

Santorum sounds like a thrash band

Shit I should name my band that...

Oh shit this is hilarious!

chip off the old bloc PARTY

How did I know andcas was going to be one of Those Guys

Born Of Legois

Sputnikers are going to take this way too seriously.

stfu you! Can't you see there's a war on mehtul! RAWR GRERRR ARRRR

I can imagine a band named 'Santorum' with songs about the evils of birth control, homosexuality and how there shouldn't be separations of church and state.

y so srs spuntik?

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=93843

do it

in after everyone takes this way too seriously

Ahaha

some of my news articles don't get approved

haha

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/7/2012/02/6eabe0b047b7082e411c06253de1c2dd.jpg

This is one of those things that is thankfully untrue but is probably too close to the (potential) actual truth for my comfort.

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=93843

do it[2]

Here we go again. Probably just some religious loser.

Hahahahahaha this is funny

"In response to Santorum’s metal onslaught, Mitt Romney officially denounced his earlier position of “tolerance towards all fans of extreme music”. This, in spite of the fact that GWAR played his inauguration as governor of Massachusetts back in 2003"

hahah

Wouldn't be surprised if he took a stance like this. Dude has said much more contemnible things.

not in favor of gay marriage; it's a slippery slope; next man and dog

=(

never thought of it that way before but again I don't think much, just be worried about you, but be kind where you can!

lol this fucking guy. war on metal? you've got to be fucking joking

If only you read the article then maybe you'd have the slightest fucking clue.

durr

Well, looks like he's out for the Conservative metal vote.

well im a yankee, i dont cut wood. instead i flip a switch and BOOM! you got yourself a roaring flame, then the bong, and of course, thrash, or prog, w/e im in the mood for., sometimes its jam rock. Then I decide that I want metal because I like it and rick is a meany for wanting to ban what I like.

Santorum just needs some mushrooms.

I can imagine a band named 'Santorum' with songs about the evils of birth control, homosexuality and how there shouldn't be separations of church and state.

Makes me remember 2 years ago back here in France when Christine Boutin wanted the Hellfest banned at all costs. Mass sarcasm kicked the shit out of her presidential candidacy.

Edit : "Picking out a small and unique group, singling them out as “other” and using them to frighten the masses is a proud tradition in American politics."
I'm aware this article is also sarcastic, but don't you think the author's kinda doing the same thing by by demonizing Santorum while simultaneously promoting Romney?

(...Dun dun duuuuuuuun!)

classic americans

I'm not even going to say anything about this guy or i'll get banned forever

I always knew Opeth was to blame for lactose intolerance.

Kill em all, Santorum for prez.

It's funny how republicans proclaim that they're against big government, yet they won't mind regulating your taste in music.

American politics never fail to amuse me. Eventually, Rick Santorum is going to fail big time. It will be an epic sight to withold.

the average pop record is more damaging to the minds of the american youth than the average "heavy metal" record.

true

santorum is the truth

m/

America gets better for each day.

This article made me sick reading it.

Wait, maybe it was the Sonata Arctica I was listening to with this glass of milk...

Lesson learned... not worth posting satire to sputnik because no one actually reads the article... just the headline. I think that's actually true non-satire articles too though.

hahaha

The sad thing is that there are users here commenting as though this were real. Fools or kids?

now that i think about it what's the point of posting fake news with the other ne... wait how about we replace fox news journalists with fox news satiric journalists, no one will see the difference!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A61804-2005Apr17.html

Lolwut

''i know its fake, but its funny to rant on nothing. anyone?

wow way to try 2 cover your dumbness

Tbh I'm surprised he didn't attack Rap music for these "problems".... smh.... he needs to do his research.

tbh im not surprised at how stoopid you are for not knowing its fake idiot

Funny how some of these users didn't get the joke. Especially this, this was fucking retarded.

"its people like this who prove that the bullets used to assassinate great men, should've been saved when the fate of the world (my world anyway, idk about youse) for a man of complete idiocy. "

lol youse

Yeah the article should've been a pretty good tip-off on it's own but the people that still don't get it even after all the comments saying "guyz its fakes" are kind of dumber than the Rick Santorum portrayed here

maggots in his anus, santorum is a bust

the shit, blood, and cum creating a filthy crust

wow someguest that was really good

lol this thread

wow someguest that was really good

derp

RAINING BLOOD?

MOAR LIEK RAINING SANTORUM!!!

RAINING SANTORUM

ASS LACERATION FROM A GUY

SANTORUM 'ROUND MY NECK

what year is this?

Another reason not to vote for him lol

Boxer (D-Calif.) says he has a knack for "becoming remarkably harsh and personal during debates."

lol santorum's a closet sputniker who can guess which shit troll was him?

prob the one who was posting retard porn and scat awhile back

my vote's for dino

the demented bloodlust of teenagers caused entirely by heavy metal music.

m/ that's why you gotta start early.

Santorum is my homie. But seriously, how is anyone other than Ron Paul still in the race?

lol @ some of the idiots in here.

On a similar satirical-failure note:

http://youtu.be/MEx2vPFvYPs

For a comedic article, this wasn't all that funny. A couple chuckles, but by no means Onion quality.

Shit I should name my band that...

I already did bloc, sorry. =/

Time to blast some pillaging metal music and vote for someone other then Santorum at the polls...

List of Sputnikers I want to watch go to theonion.com

Systemunfold
andcas
Devastator
VanitySeason
J0ckstrapsFTW
austin888
BassDemon333
figure337
Jellingman
TheFifthEye
Venpts16s
FictionalFlames
Needsmoarbreakdowns
JWT155

comment of the thread:

"Well, looks like he's out for the Conservative metal vote."

second best:

"what year is this?

I love the people who didn't read the "satire" part, i guess its convincing if you thinks it real

He does realize Tipper Gore tried to do this 25 years ago and failed miserably

list updated

srs bsns

would be hilarious if this was real.

YOU CANT KILL THE METAL

METAL WILL LIVE ON

Biggest moron on the planet.

YOU CANT KILL THE METAL

METAL WILL LIVE ON
[2]

Pretty goddamn funny tbh. m/

thought it was real at first while i was reading it but it just got so ridiculous hahahaha. shit's so funny though.

LOL at people who take satirical articles seriously.

waste of time...

But Santorum...

ROCK AND ROLL AIN'T NOISE POLLUTION!
ROCK AND ROLL AIN'T GONNA DIE!

its funny how many of these people think its for real

saying that, the fact that the statement itself is so stupid yet because its attributed to a republican candidate people take it seriously...

good luck america

I'm Rick Santorum, and I approve this nonsense

It sounds like the republicans are reaching for excuses

Can people stop making Tenacious D jokes so I have something funny to say?

Cant believe people took this seriously even without reading jobs comment or the proper article

SANTORUM TRIED TO DETHRONE THE METAL, BUT THE MEHTULLLL HAD ITS WAYYYYYYY.

SANTORUM
IMPRISONING ME
ALL THAT I SEE
ABSOLUTE HORROR

... i know this is suppose to be written like the onion and all.... but why do i have this suspicion that he actually does have this belief?

Fair cop

I think Santorum has it in him for something like this

lol

what the fuck is this doing under news? i realize this website has no responsibilty to display journalistic integrity but this isn't even good satire and some of the people that come here are probably stupid enough to believe this garbage.

Damn teen angst.

saw this before, made me laugh so hard. Knew some people would take this seriously hahaha.

What is this, the 80's?

Damnit Jom, what have you done? (2)

Anyone who actually believes this is retarded...

OMG The author of this article is also the guy that kicked Bill Ward out of Black Sabbath and we're all not real, just elements of his imagination. It says so in another article on that site.

Anyway. VOTE RANDY BLYTHE.

Republican Trash they both suck

Goddammit Sputnik. How fucking stupid are most of you?


Metal doesn't cause lactose intolerance. That's just fucking ridiculous.


It causes rickets and cancer.

Shutup Frank you useless bitch, how is that even funny? Everyone knows it was a joke. Think you are so fucking tough around here fucking internet troll. Make like batman and hang yourself.

And by that I mean, that article was pretty funny bro, I can't believe this got approved eh?

....again?

Let the witch hunt begin...

Ignorant - uneducated in general; lacking knowledge or sophistication; "an ignorant man"; "nescient of contemporary literature"; "an unlearned group incapable of understanding complex issues"; "exhibiting contempt for his unlettered companions".

Guys we listen to metal, therefore we are responsible for all attempted terrorist acts and misguidings this country has seen since metal was made.

Seriously, is this what our government has become? I'm moving to Germany, fuck it.

^Go kill yourself.

Trolololol?

some deathmetal band should all sport the santorum team sweater vests for their next tour

This remind me on a german teacher , who called bands like Napalm Death as fascistic and achieved the indexing of Cannibal Corpse in germany This was 1994.
The article is a satire , but could be easily reality.
Scary.

"This remind me on a german teacher , who called bands like Napalm Death as fascistic and achieved the indexing of Cannibal Corpse in germany This was 1994.
The article is a satire , but could be easily reality."

World War 3 is gonna be the war against metal

Did Funeralopolis/Fake Sowing Season call me a useless bitch?

I can't believe people are STILL commenting on this.

Why isn't this guy writing for the Onion? I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.