Author Archive
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of Staff past and present and hopefully present-and-future by way of deep-diving casual-reading power-lifting interview posi-sharking, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Steel yourself as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you wish you’d had the courage or attention span to acknowledge surpass your wildest expectations.
Today’s hot bod in the hot seat is a dreamer of dreams, an upside-down-er of opportunities, a cipher of ciphers, an animal for unexpected hype, and an unmasker of hidden faces in places you never knew faces were to be found. He has facets also. Please give it up for: Winesburgohio!
Who the hell are you?
I feel like this should clear things up. Otherwise! Eyes: Poo-brown. Hair: Balding remains of once leonine and voluptuous locks :O. Sex: if you insist! etc.
How did you originally arrive on this website, and what convinced you to stick around?
O.K. bear with me: I must have stumbled on this website in my teen years – surely one couldn’t have loved Circle Takes the Square and Kayo Dot in the ‘00s and not have cursorily browsed spitnuk at least once – but I was actually put onto it by Zach Savage, a man who I have never met and will never meet. I friended him on facebook because we were the only two people who had the wit to add “allocating resources” to our “likes”; he recommended sput and the rest was history! I’ve formed really strong friendships with…
Hiya. johnnyoftheWell here. A couple of weeks ago I found myself hospitalised, in severe pain and a 50/50 mix of unable and unwilling to listen to music. It sucked.
Here’s a Digbox about how I got out of that.
So, uh, welcome to a special edition of the Digbox. This is a little unorthodox and perhaps closer to straightforward diarism than anything I’d usually allow to be published about music under my name, but there are circumstances and pressures and maybe even a story behind it. So there: get your shovel.
Around mid-November I picked up inflammation under my wisdom tooth, which proceeded to turn into an abscess. I struggled through work and visited my dentist on the regular, but he didn’t pick up that my increasingly debilitated state pointed to an abscess until it was too late. Next thing I knew, the right side of my face was swollen to three times its usual size, my jaw was locked shut, and I was in a hospital bed with little to do but knuckle down and count the minutes between continuous rounds of painkillers and antibiotics. Up until the start date of this piece, I was only able to listen to music as a frayed-nerve distraction, which I stopped entirely once in hospital because I felt too washed out to process anything and the inflammation had spread to one of my ears anyway. So much for that end-of-year cram.
Fortunately, and I guess inevitably,…
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of current (and past) Staff by way of deep-diving casual-reading interview razzle, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Allow your jaw to drop as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you never acknowledged surpass your wildest expectations.
Today’s willing participant missed the Pokemon hype train, but is more than happy to help, guide or just speak to anyone that wants to do so… oh and has also found the time to write 594 reviews (So Far). Please welcome Sputnik Music’s nicest moderator, SowingSeason — in we go!
SowingSeason: Ready to Bare his Soul
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Good day, Mr. Sowing. How is your day?
It’s good! I’m settled in with a coffee and ready to bare my soul to sputnikmusic.com.
Nice, nice. What Pokemon would you be if you were a…Pokemon?
This may be heresy to some people, but I totally missed the Pokemon hype train. I remember it being huge when I was a kid – my friends all had Pokemon cards – but for whatever reason I simply didn’t care. Pikachu, I guess? That response is sort of “by default” because it’s the only one I know off the top of my head (thanks Mario Smash Bros.!)
[response lol!] And yet, you are not a Pokemon, you are a Moderator! Disregarding the vast amount of largely unseen administrative work that this role entails for one moment, could you comment on the following community…
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of current (and past) Staff by way of deep-diving casual-reading interview razzle, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Allow your jaw to drop as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you never acknowledged surpass your wildest expectations.
Today’s willing participant hates writing reviews but has written 256 of them. Please welcome Sputnik Music’s three-time Emeritus-awarded writer, Xenophanes — in we go!
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Good day, Xenophanes. Who are you and what is your story?
Hello! I’m a 32 year old guy living in the Midwest. I’m a mid-level corporate hack by day and artist by night.
I started lurking around Sputnik around 2008. A girl I was interested in had a Dir En Grey tattoo (red flag emoji) so through research I found my way here.
Flash forward to now and I have a husband and hate Dir En Grey.
You share your username with an ancient Greek philosopher – what about the original Xenophanes inspired you so?
I was sitting in a classics class circa 2009 and whatever my original original name was wasn’t jiving with me any longer. I think I remember digging his views on religion which seems so cring-y and basic to me now but oh well.
I read your username as xe-no-thanes as in Skyrim and the OG as xe-no-phan-ees as in ancient Greek. Is this okay?
No, but…
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of current Staff by way of deep-diving casual-reading interview razzle, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Allow your jaw to drop as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you never acknowledged surpass your wildest expectations.
Today’s willing participant is our reformed meanie-head and connoisseur of podcasts, Trebor. Please give him a hero’s welcome; in we go!
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Good afternoon, Trebor. How is your day?
Every day I have to find the motivation to keep going and that usually takes about an hour or so, so I’ll let you know in an hour.
Literally everyone knows who you are, but you’re gonna have to reintroduce yourself to save me writing a bad mini-bio.
I’ve only been banned once, I’ve almost always had a Redlettermedia avatar, I used to be a meaniehead to a lot of newer users, and 90% of my friends no longer use the site.
Red Letter Media. Click the photo for videos.
What kind of role does music play in your life compared to when you first started on Sputnik?
When I first started posting I had a broken knee and foot and couldn’t walk or do much of anything for a month, so I mostly just listened to new albums I found on Sputnik all day and posted about them. Now I can walk and go on hikes so I don’t need…
Hello and welcome back to our ongoing sexification of current Staff by way of deep-diving casual-reading interview razzle, Sputnik’s very own Meet the Spartans. Allow your jaw to drop as impossible questions are posed and the Staffers you never acknowledged surpass your wildest expectations.
Today’s willing participant is our dusky-winged angel of dark feels and industrial bops, DrGonzo1937. Please give him a hero’s welcome; in we go!
Hi Sir Gonz! Who are you?
A 34-year-old Brit that still loves The Backstreet Boys.
Name three things that spark joy in you.
Cats, music, and reading books.
New music vs. old music: discuss. Which occupies more of your time, and why?
I’d say it’s a healthy 50% 50% split. I feel like new music doesn’t get the credit it deserves; there’s plenty of derivative stuff out there (metal is the worst for that these days), but there’s still a lot of really innovative music out there that needs support, so I’m constantly on the lookout for that new music and talent, and I try my best to support it in any way I can.
Conversely, there’s still a lot of old music out there that I haven’t listened to yet, things which could shape my tastes for the better, so I keep my eye out for it and look to recommendations from users on Sputnikmusic.
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What review are you most and least proud of from within the last year?
I’m terribly self-deprecating about my own work, so it’s hard…
Hello and welcome to our brand new hyperexciting interview series examining the nectarine banter and uncontrollable good looks of the Sputnik Staff roster.
For too long, you have watched from a distance as these Apolline sex paladins slave away on review quotas for okay-ish albums that none of you remember within a week. No more! It’s time to show Sputnik Staff at their true potential! Let your mind blow as impossible questions are posed and Staffers you were too intimidated to remember the existence of surpass your wildest expectations.
Our first entrant is a lazy place to start because he’s the One that all of you, tyrannous majority, have already acknowledged! Give it up for Staff writer and March Madness Champion, Dewinged!
Hi Dewi. Introduce yourself!
Hi, I’m Dewi.
Why are you always so nice about music?
Well, I’m nice about everything else too, haha! (laughs alone, in the middle of the office) Aaaahhh…. I don’t know, really, it’s in my character I guess. I’ve been exposed to music since a very early age, my father was a complete maniac, he had thousands of LPs at home. Then later I started playing drums at 13, and being in bands since then, recording music yourself, it all gives you a slightly different perspective about what you’re hearing. I enjoy a lot of different genres, and I feel blessed about it.
You seem to spend roughly equal time keeping up with new music and combing through older material – an altogether too…
KILL or KEEP Vol.5
Nightwish– Once
Welcome to the KILL or KEEP milestone instalment, Vol.5. What a moment this is. We have gone from powers of 2 to powers of 5. We have transcended the snottiness of bashing mediocre bands like the Smashing Pumpkins and Nine Inch Nails and reached such heights that we can make up whatever bollocks we so please and potentially tackle a legitimately “good” artist one day. What a giddy moment.
There was (probably) going to be a celebration of this belletristic triumph, but before it got organised, Sputnik MVP Staffer Dewinged (legeeend) spontaneously declared that he was going to listen to a Nightwish album with one hour’s notice, and a different kind of gravity asserted itself.
The album in question turned out to be Once, the 2004 opus among opuses viewed by many as the group’s symphonic peak – this being the most significant Nightwish album that JohnnyoftheWell (lol loser) had not heard, a glitzy pact was formed on the spot. Dewi got to take the next steps on his Epic journey with added style; Johnny got to go back in time and cover his tracks. What’s not to love?
Unfortunately, these motivations were both ultimately selfish, hardly reflective of KILL or KEEP‘s deeper imperative for critical justice and practical public advice. To remedy this and save the whole affair from corrupt SputStaff-exclusive sticky-pokey, we invited the unmodified unmastered vox pop microdeity LeddSledd into the fray (baaased). With not partisan attachments past, present or (likely) future, he…
KILL or KEEP Vol.4
Deftones – White Pony
Welcome back once again to KILL or KEEP, where we take a classic album that everyone knows but not everyone loves, and run it through a set of users with conflicting takes. They will consume the album for public entertainment and post their slander for all to see.
This time is a little different because our most ambitious plans got postponed for boring reasons andwe didn’t want to leave things hanging for too long. The solution? Do what the rest of the Sputnikmusic userbase does when it runs out of ideas and needs a ten-a-penny Masterpiece to chew over:
We are listening to Deftones. Specifically White Pony, but if there’s one thing we can tell you about White Pony right off the bat, it’s that it certainly is a Deftones record.
Deftones are a band that needs no introduction. What a relief. Today’s KILL or KEEP is brought to you by Pheromone and JohnnyoftheWell, but we felt a little self-conscious about trawling through one of the most lowest-common-denominator Sputnik classics as two of the most washed up Sputnik personalities, so we decided to add some spice by fishing out a new friend from our Discord web of horror. Please welcome Windowpain11 to Sputnikmusic!
Rules
Each participant must KILL and KEEP a minimum of three songs. Because White Pony is a pretty tiny album by KILL or KEEP standards,…
KILL or KEEP Vol.3
Carly Rae Jepsen – Emotion
Welcome back once again to KILL or KEEP, where we take a classic album that everyone knows but not everyone loves, and run it through a set of users with conflicting takes. They will jam the album for public entertainment and post their hot takes for all to see.
Except this time it is different.
It is time for change. It is time for an album that, perhaps, everyone does love. The last two installments in the series were directed at bloated capital–penis-shaped–M Masterpieces by men with huge egos and poor evaluations of the limitations of their talents.
This must be the opposite.
We will examine a female songwriter whose attention is entirely occupied with relatable subject matter, whose songwriting models is excessive in its leanness, whose sound has been diluted to the perfect vanilla average by wave upon wave of unseen collaborators. We turn now to true greatness. It is time for Carly Rey Jepsen.
Carly Rae Jepsen
Some would say that it is always time for Carly Rae Jepsen; we respectfully counter that now is the time for specifically KILLing and KEEPing her lauded sugaropus Emotion, by which we mean both Side A and Side B. That’s 20 tracks: primo K/K territory (but no bonus tracks because we don’t have that time)!
We have read…
KILL or KEEP Vol.2
Nine Inch Nails – The Fragile
Welcome back to this series, where we take a classic album that everyone knows but not everyone loves, and run it through a set of users with conflicting takes. They will jam the album for public entertainment and post their hot takes for all to see.
The rules are simple: for each track, our valiant competitors must give one of two verdicts: KILL or KEEP. To give things a trademark Sputnikmusic positive spin, each user must KEEP at least two tracks. To keep things alive, they must KILL at least one.
Our competitors today are: MiloRuggles, Pheromone, DivergentThinking, johnnyoftheWell and Nocte.
That’s a lot of bois for one album, but if you’re worried that things were getting cramped, we chose thise one for legroom: our target is Nine Inch Nails’ very famous double-album statement landmark The Fragile. It came out in 1999, which is a long time ago (this year is 2021). Since then, mastermind Trent Reznor has been ripped off by a load of godawful bands and turned his primary career instincts towards OSTs for people with leather sofas. Fascinating stuff! Just what will this megascoop uncover? Let’s delve!
Starting Impressions
Each user, please briefly explain your feelings on the album going in, and what you hope to achieve here? Do you want…
Kompys2000 is a mystery, a connoisseur, a shrewd cookie, and an always-welcome voice of reason.
Welcome to their Digbox!
As is custom for this series, list is, in fact, digs. No real theme or throughline, I don’t have the mental capacity to get cute about it right now. Tried to cover a good variety of sounds and styles so hopefully there’s something here for everyone. Also tried to keep things at least nominally “obscure”, if for no other reason than because I spend quite enough time already writing about music everyone has heard a million times. Here we go!
[“Digbox” – reimagined by SandwichBubble, 2021]
#1: Car Seat Headrest- Hey, Space Cadet (Beast Monster Thing in Space)
At this point, it seems your Dream Ons and November Rains and Champagne Supernovas are destined to become relics of a time when the music industry was willing to pour a lot more money and/or cocaine into guitar music… but that doesn’t mean there’s no one still trying. “Hey, Space Cadet” is a stadium-rock anthem for an era where bands have to record albums in their bedrooms and most of the fans will only ever hear those albums in their bedrooms. It’s a climactic, adrenaline-fueled victory lap squeezed into the confines of a shabby studio apartment, and it is glorious. As it turns out, a songwriter as erudite and discursive as Will Toledo can be…
KILL or KEEP Vol.1
Smashing Pumpkins – Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
Welcome to this series, where we take a classic album that everyone knows but not everyone loves, and run it through a set of users with conflicting takes. They will jam the album for public entertainment and post their hot takes for all to say.
The rules are simple: for each track, our valiant competitors must give one of two verdicts: KILL or KEEP. To give things a trademark Sputnikmusic positive spin, each user must KEEP at least two tracks. To keep things alive, they must KILL at least one.
Our competitors today are: Pheromone, DivergentThinking and johnnyoftheWell. The album is none other than Smashing Pumpkins megaopus ‘90s-affirming double-album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. How well does this album hold up? Is it a timeless classic or an overworked sack of hot air? Let’s find out!
Starting Impressions
Each user, please briefly explain your feelings on the album going in, and what you hope to achieve here? Do you want to KILL/KEEP as much as possible? Or is this just about trimming some fat?
Pheromone: Hello fan, I anticipate a more negative vibe than my rating. It’s been years since I’ve craved any Smashing Pumpkins not named “Mayonaise”. I expect to still super love some of the songs but I’d be surprised if out…
‘Homines non nascuntur, sed finguntur’
Some heroes are born. Some are made. Some are found by the investigative talents of vigilante detectives to whom the internet secretly owes the world.
Let’s take a glimpse into the journal of Sputnik user ArsMoriendi…
Each song is something I’ve been digging from each month within the past 5 months. While writing this I decided that the first four songs easily relate to the four temperaments of humorism (choleric, melancholy, sanguine, and phlegmatic respectively.) It feels pretentious to point that out, but it’s true. So check these out anyway:
[“Digbox” – reimagined by SandwichBubble, 2021]
November 2020: “Don’t Call Her No Tramp” by Betty Davis
Much of classic funk has the same energy as rock, but with the bass in the forefront. This often makes early funk incredibly fun and danceable, while retaining the earthiness of hard-rock. Betty Davis is one impressive lady within this already fantastic genre. Not only was she the person to influence her husband Miles (you know that trumpet guy, maybe you’ve heard of him) to incorporate funk and rock into his jazz (yep, she’s why Bitches Brew exists,) but she also made a hell of her own frontwoman. “Don’t Call Her No Tramp” marks itself as They Say I’m Different’s centerpiece as it oozes with confident sex-positive feminism. It’s backed by, roaring bass, shuffling keys, and Betty’s purposefully gruff voice. Everything about this song…
Garas is the grumpiest contributor on Sputnikmusic and one of the nicest people on the internet. Today, he digs!
Hello, welcome to the Grumpy-Digbox, where you may experience a short and madly niche list containing some of my favourite picks from the very recent times. I’m usually more of an “album-type” instead of a “song-type”, but from time to time my obsession with certain songs breaks my limits. Chances are you might hate these songs, but I really hope at least some of you might enjoy blasting them (with me)!
[“Digbox” – reimagined by SandwichBubble, 2021]
Slayer – South Of Heaven
According to last.fm, thrash metal claimed the crown of being the my most listened genre at the end of February – I’m sure you can guess which one is my top listened genre otherwise. And pretty much South Of Heaven had the biggest role in this historical event. The song is not just the perfect choice of being the album’s opener, but this also the greatest Slayer song as well, I daresay. Most sinister mid tempo tunes and neck-breaking heaviness: perfection.
Craft – Again
“Awakening. World Suffering
Twisted things empathise with nothing.”
There is no better way facing daily stress than strangling it with a good amount of black metal, I’d say. Craft’s “anti-everything” philosophy is not easy to digest, but one thing is for sure: these…
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