On the third round of interviews, I’ve received the opportunity to pick at ‘ol Young Bloon, resident Ween fan #2 and devoted Goofcore (what is it???) follower. I proceeded to stuff my face with chinese food as he told me his life story and then some, but when it came down to it, Bloon was just like me: another dude on his computer on a Friday night. How did this turn out? Wonderfully…as wonderful as Billywitchdoctor.com showing up at your front door, perhaps. If you want to know Bloon some more, just peep his stellar review for Deen Ween’s Rock2 here. 

You won’t like Bloon when he’s angry…

I’m gonna start this off relatively simple, something everybody’s gotta a story for: how did you find Sputnik? Were you forced to sign up one day at gunpoint or were you feeling ~experimental~ in your teenage curiosity? Although, I could be entirely off the mark and you may be some 40-something roleplaying as a teenage boy on the internet….just like my Dateline VHS!

Well, it’s probably more close to the first one. A very good friend of mine, on Sput as BBGames, called me one day on Skype and told me to make an account, saying we could keep track of the albums we listened to. I joined the same day and started rating my CD collection. I’ve only been on the site for a little bit but I am very glad he told me to sign up.

As for the second remark, I can safely say that isn’t the case. I don’t think I have the dedication for a charade as elaborate as that.

Whew, that’s encouraging to see someone who’d rather not be up for elaborate ruses like that (because, being the sucker I am, I’d fall for it)

Nah, I’m about as far from a “master troll” as they get, for better or worse.

So, what are in your ~plans~ for any future site activity? Do you intend on becoming site overlord and forcing mx to turn over the toasters we call servers, or do you perhaps intend on doing something more daring?

Well, I definitely hope to keep writing, but other than that I’d say more of the same. Make some silly lists, write some silly reviews, leave some silly comments, and maybe contribute some silly articles to the contributor’s blog wink wink. I look forward to further repping albums with 12 votes.

Shit, no reviews for TDAG and Jane Doe??

I wouldn’t be opposed to reviewing some Converge. I did recently notice Poacher Diaries doesn’t have a review…

As for Brand New…

I’m not so sure.

Yeaaaaaaaah, I don’t really blame you there. You playing something right now?

As in listening to something?

Yeah.

Ween’s White Pepper

Because of course I am.

Becoming more and more like Ars everyday….they grow up so fast ;_;

Not trying to start anything, but all I’ll say is I have more Ween 5s.

A challenge, huh? Local folklore says Ars only rises if, on a full moon, someone goes to a mirror (painted brown, of course) and repeats “Ween” three times, he’ll spirit you away to his humble abode. You run a high risk, my dude, is what I’m saying.

A risk I’m willing to take, it seems.

Real talk, much love to Ars, us Boognish followers have to stay together.  :]

Now to the nitty gritty of this discussion, the moment you’ve been waiting for…

Oh snap.

From ye olde contrib-turned user plebe Arche: “If you had to live in a world without Pusheen or a world without Spongebob, which would you pick?”

Fuck.

That’s like asking me which one of my children I love more.

Take your time, you’ll suffer either way.

I think that, if you held a fairly large weapon to my person, I’d probably go with Spongebob.

How big we talking here? Spring-loaded hammer-type device? A super soaker?

It has to be deadly enough to give me no other choice.

Pusheen might be the most wholesome thing on earth, but Spongebob was super important to me as a wee lad and still is to this day. Pretty sure it sparked my appreciation for absurdist art and humor. So, its Spongebob’s fault I am obsessed with Goofcore.

Now, I’m going to give you a quick game…I’m going to say a specific word and you have the task of naming an album you associate with the word I select. Are you down?

Sure, sounds fun.

1. Troll:

My gut instinct wants to jump to 4’33” but I also somewhat think about Metal Machine Music.

 I swear if you diss my boy Lou Reed… (read as: I’m salty)

 It’s not a diss, it more comes down to stories I’ve heard relating MMM to being a big middle finger.

 Lmao I know.

 My bad hahaha.

Been thinking of reviewing it because there’s a lot of positives in the story of how it came to be, it really further elaborates on why MMM is like it is.

 I love the story behind MMM, it’s super punk in its mentality. I’ve been meaning to give it another chance since I enjoy noise more then I used to, every time I go back it just doesn’t click.

You should totally review it!

Hell yeah!

Okay, next word!

2. Ice

Well, my mind would most quickly jump to say Winter’s Into Darkness (Super slept-on Death Doom). If not, De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas is a pretty obvious choice. There’s loads of icy black metal out there.

See, I was thinking of Yes’ Relayer. Not exactly an icy landscape but the color palette is reminiscent of a frigid, icy world despite the art being in a mountain-like setting.

 I can’t say that I’ve heard Relayer, only Yes records I’ve checked are Close to the Edge and Fragile. (Oh shit, can’t forget Storm of the Light’s Bane.)

Oh, man. Relayer is my favorite. Totally out-there prog with a lot of jazz and a bit of musique concrete inflections scattered throughout the album.

 Sounds cool. I’ll give a try.

You’ll find something to like about it, guaranteed! And to the last word…

3. Pretentious

 You see, I chose Sput’s favorite word to misuse!

Ooooh…

For the most part, my mind jumps to experimental metal that is very vapid in its execution and tries to be more profound and revolutionary than it is. Such as Brain Tentacles’ S/T or Learning To Breathe by Cyborg Octopus.

Oh sheeeeeit, shots fired!

 Well, at the risk of falling under the category of misusers, metal bands that shoe horn in random genre sometimes come off as novelty acts that hope to be as influentially off-kilter as, say, Gorguts or Atheist. The main difference is that these important groups smoothly and thoughtfully crafted experiences that were surreal and strange, but more contemporary goofsters seem to attempt to reinvent the wheel for the sake of reinventing the wheel.

I could be completely off point on that but it’s definitely the vibe I get. If that isn’t satisfactory, I’ll go with something completely up its own ass, like Mike Patton’s Adult Themes for Voice.

Nah, that’s fine.

Alright, now I’m going to send you a video…not quite something you’d expect. Are you willing to give me your thoughts on what exactly this video and/or song could mean, in your opinion?

Of course, this is just me forcing my sophistipop jams down your throat.

 Glad to see they casted FullOfSounds as the butler.

Some will argue that you can convince someone anything if you do it well enough, so, despite the fact that I’ve never heard of this guy, he’s probably the King of Rock ‘N’ Roll. Unrelated, but I wish I had a hot dog costume like that, mine pales in comparison.

I know the feeling, those costumes are baller.

One last thing about that video, it gives me a hankering for the true Albuquerque:

(Running With Scissors is a classic record and I will die on that hill.)

So, what are your thoughts on the community?

 I think the current community of Sput is pretty fun to be a part enough, just enough of a blend of actual music discussion, outlandish hot takes, and bizarre shitposting. I will say, you guys need to stop overhyping poopy records (cough cough Rivers of Nihil).

To be fair, a number of those hot takes come from me. (i.e. Rivers of Nihil)

To cap this little beaut of a discussion (more like an interrogation at this point), I’m gonna have to ask you about what you think are the greatest albums of all-time (In your opinion). And for your number one, I wanna know why, how did you come to this conclusion? It’s the beauty of music that brings people together, to cause creation, and to invoke thoughts and feelings within us. What does this album do for you?

 Oh snap [2].

I can’t confirm this 100% because my top records are usually shifting around:

5. Slayer – Show No Mercy

4. Gorguts – Obscura

3. Suffocation – Effigy of the Forgotten

2. Ween – The Mollusk

1. AJJ – Can’t Maintain

Without getting too personal, the themes of Can’t Maintain and other AJJ records are some that I relate to. I think that Can’t Maintain’s approach to subtle and loose story telling is something beautiful and astonishing. It also manages to capture some of the most intensely emotional moments I’ve ever heard (Love In The Time Of The Human Papillomavirus and White Face, Black Eyes). I reviewed this one a while back if you want to read a bit more on how I feel about it: here. As a review, it’s a bit dated but I still stand by what I said and what emotions I think it captures.

Anyone you wanna shoutout?

 I’d like to give shout outs to BBGames, Sounds, BlushfulHippocrene, Rigma, Ian, and Claiver for helping me be the best writer and person I can be, as well as shouting out everyone on Vex for the great recs and the great times we’ve had.

Well, Bloon, my dude, it’s been a pleasure.

 Smae here. Hope you have a glorious night.

Smae tbh.