I want to briefly talk about U2. They have a new album out this week, Songs of Experience, which Rowan described as ‘an Apple-funded gimmick to appeal to the poetry-loving college crowd.’ It’s ostensibly a companion to 2013’s Songs of Innocence, and it’s bad. Not offensively bad (not that U2 ever have been offensive, moreso bland and boring, spiritless and soulless, pedestrian and ponderous), but bad enough to warrant derision and mockery. What is it exactly that Bono stands for when he sings ‘I can help you, but it’s your fight,’ when we all know that he hides money in tax havens and has powerful friends compromise editorial integrity for him? I don’t know. For the record, “Get Out of Your Own Way,” the song that line comes from, isn’t completely awful, and could well have been successful had it not been compressed so heavily and recorded by a band with more clout and pertinence than U2. But the entire album is so completely diluted with the sentiment of nothingness that you can’t help but feel as if everything is painfully familiar; lyrically and thematically, its anti-Trump vitriol is obvious and well plundered; musically, it’s repetitive, blase, samey, and unoriginal. This was the band that wrote Achtung Baby, criticized the technocratic revolution, and then preceded to redefine the frightening implications of digital distribution. Nowadays, I would rather listen to The Killers.

So, to simplify, it’s what we would otherwise expect from a new U2 album. But, perhaps most bizarrely, Songs for…