The Smiling Assassins aka F**k-Nuggets

 “F**k-Nuggets”. That is the first word that entered my head upon the elimination of Siobhan Magnus last night on Season-9 of American Idol. Why? Well, you know when you just have a feeling that something is going to happen at a certain time? Well, I superstitiously predicted this exact occurrence for this exact date. Call it pessimism, a lucky guess or a dreaded sense of fortune telling, but it sometimes is just the way things work. For you see, it is not the American public that I am calling “f**k-Nuggets” (although they have clearly played their part), it is 4 of those 5 d!ckheads currently smiling at you from your computer screens. 

 “But Davey, the judges liked Siobhan’s performance on Tuesday night and weren’t the ones who voted her off” I hear you exclaim. That is not my issue. My issue dates back 3 weeks ago to April-7, when Cowell & Co. inexplicably decided to use their ‘Save’ vote on Offensive Lineman Michael Lynche. For the uninitiated, the 4 judges have the ability to save a contestant who has just been eliminated. However, there are two huge catches: (1) They can only do this once, and (2) they could only do it up until the Top 5. So why in the hell they would choose to do this when a contestant was eliminated in 9^th position is beyond me… A fact made even more bewildering by my opinion that Michael has about 0.001% of winning the damn contest. 

Look, even Alicia Keys knew who the 2 most talented singers were when asked to stand between them during a recent photo shoot: 

The past month or so has been enough of a slow crawl as it is. Too many average performances filled each episode, no matter what the song choices were limited to. Having the top 6 contestants then have to choose a Shania Twain song made it all the more depressing, with each singer practically having no issues with performing her predominantly bland offerings. This made the distance between the best and worst performances from Tuesday night extremely marginal and I am not at all surprised that Siobhan (who was NOT the worst by the way) has taken the fall as the unfortunate victim. And this was exactly the kind of predicament why those f**k-nuggets should have kept their Save vote up their sleeves. Grrrrrr.

Now, more than ever, I just wish they would hurry up and get down to the final 2… Hopefully, it will eventually turn out to be the David Cook-lite of Lee DeWyze and the all conquering folkie mother Crystal Bowersox, since they are clearly the most deserving up until this point in time. I personally cannot see anyone stopping the Crystal train (Ellen would pronounce that as “twain” despite the fact that no-one actually found those 2 jokes funny), now that Siobhan has departed. While Siobhan’s quirkiness and answering back to the judges clearly would have turned off some of the voting public, she possessed the strong voice and X-Factor which could have caused an upset come the deciding weeks of the competition. As it is now, it is difficult to imagine anyone lifting their game so much to defeat Crystal. If anything, this competition is there for Crystal’s arguably fragile nature to lose.   

 Then again, as I stated at the end of my original ‘Idol Thoughts’ blog; This is American idol. And as Kris Allen’s victory last season proved, anything is likely to happen on this show.