Welcome back to the Digbox for a three-in-one collaborative special!

The Digbox has been undug for rather a long time, but we are back once more with a sexy square container and a voluptuous square NUMBER – give it up for it up for number nine, folks (it might be square, but boy I wish it were single…)

Nine is very much key here: nine collaborators, nine digs. Usually one intrepid digger will command full Digbox autonomy, but this time we have many paws scooping from many angles. To streamline this somewhat, we are going to tackle today’s excavation from three distinct angles: Food, Dogs and God.

Please leave a comment specifying:

a) which of these themes is your favourite and

a) which Digbox contributor is the most attractive.

Let’s go!

[“Digbox” – reimagined by SandwichBubble, 2021]

Foodbox

Deepchord – “Alfama”

As I write this, I’m wiggling on my desk chair. Yes, moving and grooving, foot-tapping, and thinking about how even the most punny could possibly construct a food metaphor from “Alfama,” a driving, yet soothing dub techno tune by Rod Modell, aka DeepChord. Without lyrics to extract perceptible wordplay, the listener is left only with minimalist dance music structure and, of course, their own thoughts. “Would I dance to this?” “Would I eat food to this?” “How far is Alfama from the nearest KFC/Taco Bell?” Questions are left unanswered, metaphors are left unmade, and the drive-thru is lightyears away. Only reverb can save you now. – normaloctagon

Liz Phair – “H.W.C.”

Let us explore the etymology of “digbox.” Dig – to drive down so as to penetrate, according to Merriam Webster. Box, of course, well-trod vaginal slang. Taken together, it is clear that johnnyoftheWell has conjured images of sliding into second base past the notoriously puritanical Sputnik team of Censure for the Development and Maintenance of the Public Moral Order. Let us help him. Liz Phair, H.W.C. 

Liz Phair has been an unfortunate victim of being a decade and change ahead of the poptimistic curve, cementing herself as the proverbial one-record-wonder tripping headlong into the spike pit of misguided adherence to her own conception of what the Mass Listening Public is yammering for, tuned in to the neurology of their radio dials. She gave them the self-titled. A shiny-glam photo for the self-appellated Blow Job Queen and the 2003 smash hit “Why Can’t I?” She also included this nifty track about incorporating semen as the hot new skin care commodity. The album struck RIAA gold through the gauntlet of a critical decimation, the world more primed to welcome Arcade Fire the following year with open arms into a tender, sexless embrace.

Was Liz Phair ahead of her time? Unequivocally. Is H(ot) W(hite) C(um) a good song? Is it about food? “So hot, so sweet, whet my appetite.” If we accept that Phair was our maligned prophet of the modern age, bearing the cross of composing 2020 music in 2003, then we also must appreciate that while Slimfast diet shakes were all the rage as a Liz Phair Self-Titled contemporary, we hardly still consider those bottlebogs of chemical manipulation and sugar-by-any-other-name sustenance in any meaningful sense. If Phair was so patently ahead in one field, we must give her the benefit of the doubt that she was in all. If Slimfast is not food, then a salty spritz of Y-chromosomal viscosity can hardly be considered more than a digestif, or a self-help pill. This logic is sound. Liz Phair makes sound. Check! – porcupinetheater

Modest Mouse – “Pistol”

“Pistol” by Modest Mouse is NOT good. It’s that carb-loaded, million calories pasta dish at Olive Garden that looks good, then it comes out and your soul evaporates looking at it. You know it’s gonna fuck you up and it’s not good for you. But sometimes, we get down bad. We get down and dirty. And the body craves what if shouldn’t crave. Isaac Brock wants to serve you pasta and coffee from his non-Christian pasta shop and he will dunk your face in it. There is no salvation; once consumed, it is not forgotten. It lingers in a space and time alien to mankind, removed from reality, impervious to efforts to extinguish its existence. Brock has assumed the role of God. God has a Pistol. The Pistol is full of pasta. Pasta Pistol. You can run, but he’ll get you, UH HUUUH. – MarsKid

Dogbox

Bilmuri – “FLUORIDEINTHEHARDSELTZERWATER”

This got that dog in it because it got two big dogs singin righteous melodies while another stray dog starts barking halfway through. – SteakByrnes

Igor Wakhevitch – “Materia-prima”

Psyche meets zeuhlogenated classical on the stage, feat. the scenes before and after receiving an injury your body responds to by putting you in a cursed coma, you careening towards disaster like a dog jumping into a pond. – Cimnele

Cloud Rat – “The Color of a Dog”

Digs and dogs both come in many shades. The artwork of Threshold by Cloud Rat contains many colours. None of them are doglike and the song “The Color of a Dog” goes harder than most dogs. I do not understand their reference point, but this is a mean dig. – johnnyoftheWell

Godbox

Alvvays – “Forget About Life”

Christian Workout Hits Group – “Jesus Loves Me (Workout Mix 132 BPM)”

“So built we the wall; and all the wall was joined together unto the half therof: for the people had a mind to work.”– Nehemiah 4:6

And so I come to you, church, not with a spirit of timidity, but of power, and of love, and 500mg of tren per week. “So built we”, church, I ask you this; are you built? Have you, a mind to work? To grind? Are you increasing in wisdom and stature as Christ did? My body, leper-like and dull, running a 5km in 1hr27 minutes, waging tedious war on itself like the Galatians of Antioch, merely two years in the past, yet I stand before you on this day shredded in the blood of His holiest lamb.

Jesus loves me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones to him belong

They are weak but He is strong.

– Ramon

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Thanks for reading and thanks to all who participated!

The Digbox is where you post your digs – and that means you!

If you’d like to write a Digbox, please get in touch with johnnyoftheWell (shoutbox okay Discord okay) at your convenience.

Let’s dig!!!