Jacob Bannon of Converge performs at Roadburn 2018. Photograph by Wikipedia user Grywnn (Heiner Bach)

Alright, y’all, it’s time for one of Sputnikmusic’s patented giveaway contests. Let’s get down to brass tacks immediately.

THE PRIZE: Two tickets to the second day–April 4th–of the Decibel Magazine Metal & Beer Festival at the Fillmore in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. These are $35 each face value and $98.50 total if you purchase them online. Yeehaw. Who will be performing, you ask? Well, Converge is doing Jane Doe in its entirety. And Pig Destroyer is doing Prowler in the Yard. And then there’s fuckin’, uh, Satan, and Necrot, and Night Demon, and Haunt, and Un. Pretty sure that’s all. Please note a few things: this concert is absolutely 21+ no exceptions, so don’t enter this contest if you are under that age maybe. I dunno, can’t really stop you I guess. Secondly, these are not the “Metal and Beer” tickets that cost $85 each face value. If you’re a beer drinker you’ll have to stick with Stella Artois or whatever in this case: no unlimited half pours of Nightmare Brewing Company’s critically acclaimed SCAPHISM beer for you! Oh, and also obviously it’s on you to, like, get to Philly. Sorry everyone, when we’re flush (one day…) we’ll be able to fund the whole experience.

THE CONTEST: The year is 2021. The 20th anniversary joint (that’s right you’re getting them as a package) vinyl reissue of both Jane Doe and Prowler in the Yard is fast approaching, and Relapse Records or Epitaph or whatever needs your help! They’re interested in a new kind of criticism for the reissues’ liner notes, one which privileges the analysis of little moments, more inductive than deductive. This is the contest, and it’s meant for the “real fans” of both albums, as per the prize: pick a favorite “moment”–not just one that analyzes well, but a favorite–from both Prowler and Jane, and write about three short paragraphs on these two moments: one paragraph about the Jane moment, one about the Prowler, and a final paragraph comparing the two. (The temporal definition of a “moment” is up to you, although I’d say you’re stretching it if it exceeds, I dunno, ten seconds. It’s also okay to break from a strict three-paragraph structure as long as the writing generally follows the outlined logic.) Brevity is appreciated, but I think you can probably touch something like 750 words maximum and not bother your esteemed judges. The point here is a) to see how many generalized observations about the albums themselves flow freely from these little tidbits of music, and b) to compare and contrast the approach of both of the moments-and-perhaps-therefore-albums. Get your thinking caps on: you can consider performing forces (Pig Destroyer’s guitar-drums-vocalist trio vs. Converge’s addition of a bassist); thematic material (who is Jennifer? What about Jane?); instrumental and production dynamics (loud vs. quiet, fast vs. slow, fuzzy vs. clean); genre standards and their affirmation or subversion (grindcore, metalcore).

OK, OK: I know this is a bit like a school assignment (and I’m open to changing the parameters of this contest [also please let me know if anything is blatantly wrong with this blog post, it’s been forever]), but we love the idea of encouraging li’l bits of criticism from users who might not be predisposed to think of themselves as writers and who wanna save themselves 70-100 bucks in seeing two excellent bands perform their epochal albums. So let’s go!

All submissions should be pasted in the body of an e-mail and sent to djdorama@gmail.com with the subject line “CONVERGE AND PIG DESTROYER GIVEAWAY: [username]’s SUBMISSION”. Yeah. Just like that. Alright, seeya. I’ll have a fun follow-up post announcing the winner–as judged by me me me (and some other staffers)–and discussing some of the more fun and flirty submissions.

This contest ends Sunday March 15 2020 at 11:59:59PM EST.