Seriously, the world has gone fucking mad! If it wasn’t enough that Tenacious D just won a Grammy award for ‘Best Metal Performance’, it has just been announced that Australia has been allowed to enter the Eurovision Song Contest this year. That’s right, the EUROvision Song Contest. Never mind the 16 hour flight it takes to get there. Upon first hearing the news, I immediately thought that the organizers of the event had done a Jim Carrey:

I guess that we shouldn’t be surprised, since the reigning winner of this cheesy contest is Conchita Wurst / Thomas Neuwirth; a bearded, umm, person from (ironically) Austria. Talk about opening the proverbial can of worms; while supposedly a “one-off initiative to mark the contest’s 60th anniversary”, we could one day have a Eurovision Song Contest without a European nation taking part! Of course, the only reason why the participating countries are relevant anyway, is for them to vote along political lines to the point of predictability. And the best thing about the contest itself is the hilariously demeaning voice-over commentary.

So the next step is for Australia to choose an entrant, and the mainstream media are all over it in asking for possibilities. Sadly, it’s the usual dross that’s put up for discussion; which basically amounts to Kylie Minogue or any one of a number of young female reality show contestants. Some bright spark, however, has taken it upon themselves to think outside of the box and put up a potential entrant that would best showcase what Australia is all about it. And the best way to publicize such a thought is to get people to sign a petition. So, before I even explain who they are, I demand that you go to the following link and sign your life away: https://www.change.org/p/the-australian-public-reform-the-band-tism-and-represent-australian-at-eurovision-2015

So, who are TISM? An acronym for “This Is Serious Mum”, they were a comedic alt/dance-rock septet who made their name throughout the 1990s. Remaining mostly anonymous by constantly wearing balaclavas, there had been rumours that it was the part-time gig of The Wiggles! From band member names such as Eugene de la Hot-Croix Bun to song titles like ‘I Might be a Cunt, But I’m not a Fucking Cunt’, it’s an understatement to say that the band was as controversial as they were hilarious. Some of their lyrics were also quite clever with “I’m putting off procrastinating until next week” a personal favourite. And then there were the videos; Let’s just say that most of them were banned, so choosing one to highlight is a difficult task. Let’s go with ‘Whatareya? (You’re a Yob or You’re a Wanker)’: