JohnnyoftheWell: the REAL ba[n]d name list

JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	get BURNED pizza
PotsyTater 08.08.23	Im sorry to say pizzas was better in that most of the names were truly awful while this featured a number of absolutely iconic names
Sinternet 08.08.23	i like all of these except 2 and 3 lol
Sinternet 08.08.23	oh and shpongle thats a terrible name lol good shit though
JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	pizza's wins for absolute worstness for sure, but many of his entries pass the mojo dojo casa house test (which is the real cinch - i love a lot of these)
PotsyTater 08.08.23	Stuff like 29 through 31 belong on pizzas list while things like shpongle, chumbawumba, dj Sabrina, dj close your eyes to find me, anamanaguchi, yourbougriendsucks! And more are all like so bad that they are amazing
Sinternet 08.08.23	25 is iconic
SomeCallMeTim 08.08.23	Ween. Literally impossible to explain that one to anyone. Example convo (had this like convo more or less 10 times): sorry can't go, going to a concert that night oh well that sounds fun, who are you seeing? A band called Ween. I'm sorry, WEEEEEEEEEÊEN??!
PotsyTater 08.08.23	1, 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 21, 24, 26, I29, 30, 31 are all genuinely trash but the rest are iconic stupid
pizzamachine 08.08.23	Nice copyright infringed stolen idea list obvs not as unique as the original because it’s not original but nice job
JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	you have me there uh fuck! more bands are here ween doesn't count bc if i said it out loud, i wouldn't corpse. would feel more like i'd pissed on the floor, godawful name but definitely sayable
Squiggly 08.08.23	Gerogerigegegegegege
JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	fuck, of course
bludngorevidal 08.08.23	Idk I feel pretty fricking tuff whenever I utter teenage Jesus and the jerks but that’s just me
SomeCallMeTim 08.08.23	Gerogerigegege literally means shit and vomit, how is that not hardcore af
Sinternet 08.08.23	circle of dead children should not be in daily lexicon i think
JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	if a band was called Shit and Vomit in English, it would most likely be simple cringe but those words being onomatopoeias in Japanese definitely fails the mojo dojo test Circle of Dead Children is right on the line
pizzamachine 08.08.23	Thank you for including Shpongle
Deez 08.08.23	Kiss the anus of a black cat Rancid shitwank
chemicalmarriage 08.08.23	Shpongle is awesome af
Ryus 08.08.23	33 is great and funny
Kompys2000 08.08.23	Shpongle is an awesome band name. If the Beatles were called shpongle I bet they would have been even bigger All band names should be either made up words or puns
SomeCallMeTim 08.08.23	ShpoNgle is music made with people on hallucinogenics in mind so it’s perfect. Half the words you can hear in their music are just as nonsensical
sneakers 08.08.23	black fag - the black flag cover group
kalkwiese 08.08.23	I was about to suggest 23, but you did a good job and already had it on the list This is kenough However, another few suggestions: Caligula's Horse Agent Fresco Electric Callboy Karnivool Rabbit Junk They might not be silly kenough, so take it or leave it
Mort. 08.08.23	and you will know us from the trail of dead
Mort. 08.08.23	14, 16, 19 & 27 are all banger names
0xME 08.08.23	slice the cake
Egarran 08.08.23	Johnny handily wins this round, sry pizza.
JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat was a sore omission kalk/sneakers/0xme plz refer yourself to the pizza list - those names handily pass the mojo dojo casa test Trail of Dead is such a chore to say or ready that's impossible to corpse at, so it also passes the test. does not help that it only kicks in at the final 3 words
kalkwiese 08.08.23	Pizza's list features Karnivool, so I am happy This list wins though, names are just more stupid
Kompys2000 08.08.23	Hot-ish take literally every single band name that starts with a preposition is bad
JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	Above and Below, After Dinner, Against Me!, and (maybe) From The Kites Of San Quentin and In the Woods... are alright otherwise hard yes all KILLs no KEEPs
kalkwiese 08.08.23	Between the Buried and Ken
SomeCallMeTim 08.08.23	also surprised Made Out of Babies wasn't mentioned on either list yet
DavidYowi 08.08.23	Any band name longer than four words is a bad band name
PotsyTater 08.08.23	I like “circle of dead children”
POOPlol18 08.08.23	Potsy likes dead childenLOLlololololdeezenutsowned
hesperus 08.08.23	i'm honestly surprised Every Time I Die doesn't come up more often in these discussions. i feel like a tool every time i say it other suggestions: Test Icicles Dear Diary I Seem to Be Dead Wow, Owls! Nug Just Mustard
aydross121 08.08.23	Mewithoutyou I mentioned this band once irl to a friend and suddenly felt the urge to off myself there and then Some bands are meant to be named only in text in dingy music forums
JohnnyoftheWell 08.08.23	have said mewithoutYou out loud to various people and never found it that awkward - possible skill issue they + hesp names are more in line with the pizza list, but i will add dead children and the band-with-the-worst-version-of-mwY's-name
aydross121 08.08.23	Not as bad as any band here sure, though I had to correct my friend who was googling the band on their phone by saying it's just a single word and that crosses the line for me.
kalkwiese 08.08.23	Hahaha, "Wow, Owls!" is brilliant
PotsyTater 08.08.23	Every time I die is definitely worthy of the pizza list, as is between the buried and me and as I lay dying
Spec 08.08.23	Make a Change… Kill Yourself is for sure a name I can’t imagine saying out loud unless I was actually giving somebody edgy advice when I was fourteen.
Ryus 08.08.23	as i lay dying is a highly based name, faulkner is the goat
Squiggly 08.08.23	Iwrestledabearonce, Iwrotehaikusaboutcannibalisminyouryearbook, Iosonouncane
Squiggly 08.08.23	Neckbeard Deathcamp, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs
Shemson 08.08.23	Dog Fashion Disco HORSE! The Band (if you say it right by shouting HORSE!)
MeatSalad 08.08.23	HTB isn't P!ATD, you can lose the exclamation mark
Shemson 08.08.23	Lol you’re right, it’s been a while I played a show in London supporting those guys they were funny af and played an amazing set
anode 08.09.23	honestly 3 of my 4 favorite bands suffer from this to a certain degree. have a nice life, pig destroyer, system of a down. whenever i tell people about them i feel like i have to go "i know, i know. theyre good though i promise"
BookoftheFallen 08.11.23	five finger death punch
BookoftheFallen 08.11.23	every pornogrind band anal cunt torsofuck cemetary rapist
Shemson 08.11.23	Anode - the amount of times I’ve had to do the ‘I know, but it’s not what you think’ about Lil Ugly Mane means I know exactly what you mean!
onionbubs 08.11.23	gotta love the experience of saying "biffy clyro" out loud
anode 08.13.23	haha i think people need to get with the show-gram with rappers with "lil" "baby" "mane" in their names
Minortimbo12 10.08.23	shoot johnny burnt the pizza