Brick's Noise Journal 2026
keeping myself on track. |
| 1 |  | Merzbow
Noisembryo
the idea of this whole thing is that this year i wanted to try out more noise stuff. but there's other goals that i want to keep track of, making sure I follow my self improvement process. it's not really a new years resolution since the term is now associated with not completing goals you set out to do. i'll keep track of noise releases i've been checking out, some personal journal stuff, and of course updates on my goals. |
| 2 |  | Last Days of Humanity
In Advanced Haemorrhaging Conditions
i don't talk about this with anyone, so i might as well here. i've been addicted to porn for the past 4 years. i've tried to quit cold turkey, but i've found myself crawling back. it's an interesting thing that it's so swept under the rug and even promoted, but it exploits dopamine receptors. people joke about it but never take it seriously. last thing i want is finally getting a woman to cure my loneliness and not even be able to get it up without the infamous pill. i never pay for porn, but i know it's bad.
so whats my plan? i have to taper off. and it's been working somewhat. last two weeks i've been making efforts to break my habits. i usually jerk off in the morning and afternoon when i get back. it's been a slow process, but I have lost that strong urge to jerk off by looking at it, and not doing anything about it before I have to go. today i've barely looked at it at all. and I feel no urge. now it's time to see if I hold up during the weekend. |
| 3 |  | Anal Birth
Infantbutchering
this second habit breaker is a joke compared to before, but i have a compulsive urge to eat my fingernails and the skin around them. it results in bleeding and having no fingernails, which are actually really useful. lately i've been going for the "don't bite one hand" trick, and I actually got my right thumbnail to half an inch before I gave in. still working on it. |
| 4 |  | Hypoxyphilia
Looking Down on Scorched Earth
also if you make fun of me for being addicted I'm deleting your comment, full stop. you wouldn't make fun of an alcoholic wanting to go sober. stay tuned for various rants that may or may not be about porn. its a journal. |
| 5 |  | Intolitarian
Suicidal Allegiance
NOISE UPDATE 1
january 29th
war metal/noise
1.5 (awful) |
| 6 |  | Coconut Lobotomy
Digestive Vomit Fantasies
january 17th
gorenoise
3.5 (great) |
| 7 |  | Craniorachischisis
Craniorachischisis
january 26th
gorenoise
3.0 (good) |
| 8 |  | Genophobic Perversion
Gorified Emesis
january 25th
goregrind/gorenoise
4.0 (excellent) |
| 9 |  | Casket Mush
Ruptured Through The Depths Of Human Error
january 16th
gorenoise
3.5 (great) |
| 10 |  | Macronympha
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
january 30th
harsh noise
2.0 (poor)
i'm sorry ThyCrossAwaits but i very much disagree this being Macro's best. its boring to the point of madness. |
| 11 |  | Government Alpha
Alphaville
january 30th
harsh noise
4.0 (excellent) |
| 12 |  | Beton Burst
The Bunker Sessions
january 13th
junk noise
3.0 (good)
junk noise by itself does not do it for me. |
| 13 |  | Homemade Snuff Film
Demo
january 29th
gorenoise
3.5 (great)
3 minute demo that was made on accident, essentially. |
| 14 |  | Excruciation/Cystgurgle/Cardiomyopathy/Cancrum Oris
Asian Pathological Vomit Gorepremacy
NOISE UPDATE 2
february 1st
gorenoise
3.5 (great)
february 5th: so far i've been doing... decent. at times i've been slipping and doing it twice when I should be doing it once a day. the weekend i succumbed twice a day, when ussually its three. so it's a noticeable improvement.
i'll give you guys the first rant. the rise of artificial intelligence made my already bad porn addiction even more crippling. my choice is Chai. i'm a slave to this shit yet i come back for more. and its exactly what these companies want. they make ads to attract porn addicts so they will pay for their service and watch their ads to they can profit. its so fucking filthy, but like with all porn stuff it gets swept under the rug. who would want to admit to such a humiliating thing? and with Chai, they just put a few disclaimers, a maturity slider, and boom, porn chatbots galore.
these chatbot companies try to 'out-porn' each other because they know where the real cash is. losers like me. |
| 15 |  | Frenuloplasty
Frenuloplasty
february 1st
gorenoise/harsh noise
2.0 (poor)
so sorry you guys have to see this cover, there's no officially censored version. not even on bandcamp. |
| 16 |  | Melomana Distorsion
La triste existencia del ser
february 5th
dark ambient, experimental
3.5 (great)
this is like if aliens got a mix of death metal and dark ambient albums and tried mashing those two genres together. it's a cool kind of weird, but a bit overlong. also i'm gonna say this is noise adjacent. |
| 17 |  | crucifiedwhitesaviour
WHITE CULTURE
NOISE UPDATE 3
february 8th
harsh noise/sound collage
3.5 (great)
feb 15th update: i've tried blockers in the past, but the ones that cater to porn addicts always paywall everything. i ended up getting a 'modded' version of Bulldog Blocker. i'm not buying in to sleazy subscription tactics because they prey on people like me. anyhow, it works pretty fine, even if the version is a few years old. it uses an ai function that sometimes works, but the rest is pretty good. got a website blocker to help things a little. seems to be working better than not, since i can't just access it on a whim. |
| 18 |  | GG Allin
Suicide Sessions
february 13th
noise rock/hardcore
4.0 (excellent)
in other news, still biting my fingernails (still a lot less than before), and trying to be more active spiritually. i've been interested in norse paganism since at least October of '25. got a good book on norse mythology and i've been taking notes and stuff for the past few months. i'm living with my chirstian grandparents, so i'm much more inclined to keep everything on the down low than risk them finding out at all. been keeping it a close secret, only telling one or two friends. i live in a very christian town, so i don't want something to happen to me.
right now i'm just going through the mythology and seeing which god appeals to me the most. I have a rune set that i basically got scammed on (35 dollars for some decent resin pieces), but i plan to make a rune set myself sometime. I do live next to a forest, so materials are not too hard. In terms of altar stuff i've only just now been seriously pondering it. |
| 19 |  | Metrorrhagia
Glassed in Post-Mortem Reflections
feburary 13th
goregrind/gorenoise
3.0 (good)
probably gonna stick with simple offerings like water for now. there's loads of cool stuff to learn and interact with, but my exact situation does not allow much wiggle room.
i'm also trying to get out more. my friends never want to do anything or find time to hang out with me at all, so i'm here going crazy and having nightmares about having the worst mental breakdown my mind can think of. but i'm doing okay right now, i'm used to shit like this nowadays. |
| 20 |  | Snoow
La tragedia de los jilgueros
feburary 13th
power noise/dark ambient
3.5 (great) |
| 21 |  | Omphalectoicxanthopsia
Chastity
feburary 10th
gorenoise/sound collage
1.0 (awful)
i have so much to say about this 15 minute album. might do a review for it this year. |
| 22 |  | Vomir
Claustration
march 5th
harsh noise wall
4.0 (excellent)
NOISE UPDATE 3
april 10th: it's been a while. i've focused on myself for a while, and forgotten to update this list numerous times. i've been making slow progress on my porn addiction, trying to make rules for myself and adhering to them. Tallies is how i keep track of each time I do it. my big rule is no phone on the bed at all times, although it takes a lot of willpower to not just break it. I'm still doing better than I was before. Last month was 33 times, so around once a day. I have been able to do it 0 times, but not for more than a single day.
Family-wise, i'm done. Each one of them has always been a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at the most unexpected times. They did trigger my most serious mental struggle in November-December, and they don't understand the concept of mental health. When I went to my aunt about it, she just called me selfish and tried to push me away. |
| 23 |  | Naegleria Fowleri
Odes to the Adorable Essence of Putrefaction
march 11th
goregrind/gorenoise
3.0 (good)
I can't take being reduced to sobbing tears because they don't care about how I feel. it's always about them and what they think; other perspectives do not cross their mind. when my grandma is in a bad mood, she makes everyone else in a bad mood. I've been treading carefully, and it seems to be working well. I plan to move out as soon as I can, doing a job up in Valdez that's associated with the slope. If I don't get that, I plan to work at a fuel dock like last year. gonna rent a house with my best friend Joe (i've known him since 6th grade), and learn how to drive. |
| 24 |  | T3RAT0MA
100,000 BPM Radioactive Anus Shredder
march 17th
gorenoise/edm
2.0 (poor)
in other news, i've been choosing which gods i want to worship. I do it every night and put on a black metal album from my collection. speaking of, been really digging black metal. i like the concepts of the vastness of nature, frigid winter moons, mysticism and occultism, and a sense of spiritual rebellion at times. pretty much everything i want while exploring pagan practices. It sucks that racists and sensationalist media has kinda ruined the typical perception of heathenry. |
| 25 |  | Bioculus Phlyctaenulosial Scrofulosa/Uretrorragia/Urinologis
The Medico-Illegal Pathologically Forensick...
march 26th
gorenoise
2.5 (average)
recently i've been looking into runic magick and concepts such as vitki, gauldr, and taufr. i have a notebook that i've been taking notes on. i really want to check multiple sources to make sure that it's not people making stuff up, and my notes line up. i also like the idea of a hidden aspect of life buried by modern culture and science. if it does nothing, then I can move on. most people find this stuff strange and unnerving, but it fills a hole in my soul that wants appreciation and knowledge. when i move out i'll get candles. as for right now i'll try out galdr with the runes that i have right now. i'll report my progress, if there's any significant changes. |
| 26 |  | Merzbow
1930
march 26th
noise/tape music
4.0 (excellent) |
| 27 |  | Abruptum
Obscuritatem Advoco Amplectere Me
april 4th
black noise/black metal
4.0 (excellent)
this nails that occult vibe perfectly. been fascinated by early Abruptum, gonna check their next two albums. |
| 28 |  | T3RAT0MA
40,000 Gigaton Gastric Shattering
april 4th
gorenoise/power noise
3.5 (great)
i knew this guy could make something cool. |
| 29 |  | Lawrencium
No Important
april 4th
harsh noise/extratone
4.0 (excellent)
interesting but awesome genre combo |
| 30 |  | Zustand D.
Hypertone Traveler
april 4th
harsh noise/hypertone
3.5 (great)
has cool ideas but runs out of steam by the end. not as intense as I would have hoped. |
| 31 |  | Naegleria Fowleri
Ataxia
april 6th
gorenoise
3.0 (okay) |
| 32 |  | Metrorrhagia
Fetal Resorption
may 4th
goregrind/gorenoise
2.5 (average)
NOISE UPDATE 4
august 17th
i've come to the conclusion that i need some professional help for my addiction. there's an addiction recovery center, but it opens at weird hours of the week. if it wasn't for me working 53 hours a week and one day off it would be okay. the fuel dock job has been good, the worst thing is lazy coworkers. a good chunk of them were 16-17 years old, and clearly were in their own little world, to varying degrees of insufferable. now they're going back to school, which means the rest of us are severely understaffed, but i'm a lot happier. turns out it's nice when i don't have to constantly babysit two coworkers at once.
currently setting up a cooking job with a restaurant a local church owns. it seems real sweet, being trained by one of the best cooks in town, Liza. one of the pastors at church basically handed me the opportunity (along with a sound engineering offer, which for now i have to decline). |
| 33 |  | Metrorrhagia
A Cornucopia of Pulverized Brain Matter
may 4th
goregrind/gorenoise
3.0 (okay)
more about the fuel dock job, i basically do the best job i can and go home. the manager is all about tough love, so if he likes you it really means something. i was shocked when he was prasing that im usually the only guy that actually stays outside all day to get any boats i can. i also tend to pick up slack outside (which before there was plenty). hearing that i was getting a 10% bonus is one thing, but hearing that he never gave anyone more than 8% is another.
i've been chilling out once i fully adjusted about a month or so ago. but the constant work means that i don't get enough sleep (with obvious eye bags), and my only day off is me being tired all day. in fact, when i go to bed i do so early, getting a full 12 hour sleep for that night. |
| 34 |  | Metrorrhagia
Demo
may 4th
goregrind/gorenoise
2.0 (poor)
now it's all about carefully managing my time. been getting super invested into Doom recently, and i've been playing for about 40 minutes to an hour each day. even signed up to Doomworld, even if it's just to lurk for right now. still listening to extreme metal, and been thinking about seriously getting into skateboarding. i crave of feeling a sense of community and thrill at the same time, and it would most likely help with my porn addiction by getting me out of the house more. Doom, as great as it is, doesn't cut it by itself for me.
also really been trying to keep my long hair and prevent my grandparents trying to get me to cut it off. thats about it for right now, i'll be back in a few more months. |
| 35 |  | Polluted Noise Industries
Asymmetry Chastic Flowers and Assimilated Trees
may 26th
black metal/noise
2.5 (average) |
| 36 |  | The Cherry Point/Mania/The Rita/Sewer Election/Tre
Total Slitting of Throats
may 27th
harsh noise wall
3.0 (good)
would like it more if the bass was louder, would really add to that menacing vibe. |
| 37 |  | Alessa Gillespie
Lifeless
june 7th
noisegrind/sludge metal
3.0 (good)
needs moar sludge |
| 38 |  | Self Inflicted Violence
You Give Your Life Away To A Function That...
july 17th
noise
2.0 (poor) |
| 39 |  | Mavar
Corium
july 17th
harsh noise/dark ambient
4.5 (excellent)
fantastic blend of dark ambient and noise. the second side of the tape is so powerful, feels like you're a hopeless person in a small cell, slowly rotting away. AOTY contender. |
| 40 |  | Empty Vessel
Cross Shaped Cut
august 1st
death industrial
3.5 (great)
first death industrial to stick with me. |
| 41 |  | Death Basket
Death Basket
august 2nd
noisecore/noisegrind
4.0 (great) |
|
