CugnoBrasso: Yo what's up autistics

CugnoBrasso 03.20.24	Some of you probably already figured this out from my previous lists.
YoYoMancuso 03.20.24	Not autistic but i work in the mental health field; diagnosis as an adult can be a double-edged sword. On one hand you finally receive the answer you've been looking for your whole life and you can begin to build your life around it to make things easier on you, but on the other hand workplaces and peers could possibly stigmatize you if it becomes a part of your medical record.
CugnoBrasso 03.20.24	Much appreciated
Mort. 03.20.24	ive been waiting for a diagnosis for like 2 years. the uk is supposed to get you seen by a professional within 3 months but covid backed up the system massively (people couldnt be seen/loads of children had their social development delayed due to being indoors all the time and its impossible to tell if thats due to quarantine or they were just autistic). i started feeling like i might be autistic because i stumbled upon Paul Micalefs videos on youtube (austism from the inside, formerly aspergers from the inside). his experience quite closely matched mine. asked my ex gf, she said she thinks i might be autistic. went to a doctor, they made me do that screening test (asq 50?) which came back with a high score indicating i should get myself tested. and since then ive been waiting for a test.
gryndstone 03.20.24	I thought I had autism (I scored shockingly "well" on a lot of those online tests, legitimate or otherwise) but I'm pretty sure it's just CPTSD from how I was raised. Either way I should see a therapist and I haven't yet. Oop!
someone 03.20.24	so i found some doctor documents from when i was like 7 that said "yep, this dude 'tarded" or sth and in their conclusion it basically said that my mum did not want to do anything about it, as she didn't believe in it. kinda tracks with my mum tbh got my official 3 years ago, black on white babeyy. had to go through some hoops to get my diagnosis as an adult. sadly, there are very few resources available once you're over 18. they all kinda focus on kids, which is understandable, but then that just leaves out entire generations of folks that had no access to care or education in the matter in their upbringing
CugnoBrasso 03.20.24	My parents wouldn't have believed it either, I always had friends in school, and they probably think that autism = being into WWII aircraft engines or something like that. I'll think about it. I'm hesitant because I doubt something would change for me after getting diagnosed, but yahhp, that would make a whole lot of fucking sense.
zakalwe 03.20.24	I thought I had it. Turns out I was just an annoying cunt.
Sinternet 03.20.24	yo whats up fetal alcohol syndromes
Butkuiss 03.20.24	Similar to Gene, I enjoy looking through medical records from childhood to see doctors describe me as “very sensitive”, “detail oriented”, “overly concerned with fairness”, and other such euphemisms. Like many other parents, mine just sort of ignored the fact I was a bit weird and hoped id grow out of the obsession with trains.
Sharenge 03.20.24	Thomas goes off the tracks (how did I know this thread would inevitably wind up with these people at each other's throats)
Colton 03.20.24	the criteria for these diagnoses is so subjective, I'll never understand how one reaches a definitive conclusion
tectactoe 03.20.24	My son (6 y/o) is diagnosed, high functioning. Insanely intelligent for his age, but has trouble with sensory processing and appropriate social behavior sometimes (even for someone that young). He’s been in therapy for a few years now (was diagnosed around 2.5 yr) and it’s basically taking the place of preschool and kindergarten for him. Hopes are high that he will be integrated into 1st grade public school this fall 🤞🏻
gabba 03.20.24	in most cases there's no definite conclusion, it's a spectrum we're all part of to different degrees as yoyo wrote, a dg can make your life easier, you can get on terms with yourself it can also help your immediate environment in tolerating you and pay special attention for not just being weird/a cunt/you name it I wouldn't worry about stigmatization, but ofc it is highly context-dependent, if you have concerns about it, simply don't tell it to anyone, only to those you trust finally, even in adulthood, finding a therapist can help you in developing strategies to avoid/cope with challenging situations the bottom line is: get yourself checked
unclereich 03.20.24	I thought I had it. Turns out I was just an annoying cunt.[2]
rockarollacola 03.20.24	everyone probably has a case of the tism to a varying degree
Colton 03.20.24	i just don't understand how a 2 and a half year old can be diagnosed with something like that unless it's super severe
Storm In A Teacup 03.20.24	Then maybe assume it is super severe instead of being a douchebag.
Futures 03.20.24	I thought I had it. Turns out I was just an annoying cunt.[3]
Colton 03.20.24	he just said he's high functioning bozo
Sinternet 03.20.24	im sure the medical community was eagerly awaiting your understanding of their profession you have no background in i work in the SEN department of a mainstream secondary school, and it's usually fairly easy to tell who is undiagnosed autistic and who just has character quirks, and most of our diagnosed autistic students were picked up before the age of five (especially common in boys, girls tend to fly under the radar)
CalculatingInfinity 03.20.24	Then maybe assume it is super severe instead of being a douchebag [2] Or maybe consider you don't have the education to effectively diagnose someone with that condition, jesus.
bellovddd 03.20.24	you don't know a lot of things I've noticed colton.
Sinternet 03.20.24	they're autistic savants, just the other day a three year old asked me to explain differentiation and integration
Colton 03.20.24	it's funny cause i didn't even deny that it's legitimate i just said i don't understand the process by which such a definitive conclusion is drawn about someone so young, when the criteria is often so subjective. it's okay to not know things b*zos
Colton 03.20.24	but I think for autism it's definitely more well understood than something like ADHD which is blatantly and egregiously overdiagnosed
IsisScript80 03.20.24	"i just don't understand how a 2 and a half year old can be diagnosed with something like that unless it's super severe" My boy, like tectactoe is also 6 and has A.S.D. He was flagged at 2 in nursery and got his formal diagnosis at 4. He isn't "super severe". He's moderate (and fucking awesome) and as Sinternet says above, once you know what you're looking for (especially in boys), it's fairly straightforward to see as there is formal criteria.
bellovddd 03.20.24	for someone not understanding the process you sure have lots to say on it colton. lol
Colton 03.20.24	i literally just said i don't understand the process
bellovddd 03.20.24	no shit. so shut up about it. no wonder you were banned for so long.
Colton 03.20.24	that's all i said though... again it's okay to not know things. you guys just like getting angry. bozos fr
Egarran 03.20.24	It's a sign of autism to expect constructive feedback from this kind of thread.
bellovddd 03.20.24	I am going to assume you think you know lots of things but you really don't. Good boy colton.
Storm In A Teacup 03.20.24	You didnt question how things worked you questioned the diagnosis of another users child and implicated shit.
Colton 03.20.24	I mean I can definitely see how certain indications would be more conclusive. maybe by your son's 2nd birthday he has 26% metalcore in his pie chart
Colton 03.20.24	no i didn't you're just a bozo
bellovddd 03.20.24	colton doubling down on the whole biggest dumb cunt on sputnik right now. I'm here for it.
Sinternet 03.20.24	yes you did no one fucking asked 'i wonder if colton understands how autism diagnosis works' but you have such main character syndrome you sit there clamoring to get yOuR tAkE out as if it matters at all or anyone cares about it, implicitly also being crass about another person's literal child. zero fucking social skills on your end.
Maniac! 03.21.24	I just assumed that if you decided to make a sputnikmusic account that you were probably autistic. (Don't come at me. I'm joking and also on the spectrum)
Colton 03.21.24	recreational outrage
Maniac! 03.21.24	"zero fucking social skills on your end" maybe he's autistic
Colton 03.21.24	my third birthday already passed, we'll never know
RogueNine 03.21.24	We don't have social skills, that's why we're on this site.
Storm In A Teacup 03.21.24	Or we have them but want nothing to do with them.
pizzamachine 03.21.24	Why u jelly of my skillz Rogue
rockarollacola 03.21.24	I like how this comment section has devolved into telling Colton he's a douchebag
bellovddd 03.21.24	we call it how we see it.
Colton 03.21.24	average sputnik thread
tectactoe 03.21.24	The reality is that, to an extent, the diagnosis of autism is "subjective" in the sense that it is at the discretion of the doctor whether certain criteria are in fact being met or not. It's not like you can take a blood sample and directly measure someone's autism. But this is no different than most mental or psychological illnesses; you get formally examined by professionals who are acutely aware of the variety of nuances and telltale signs of these things and have seen hundreds or thousands of patients with (and without) them and have a better understanding of what to look out for. And on top of that, they have no emotional investment to the subject that's fogging their vision. In hindsight, it's a lot clearer to me (and my wife) now that Luca is/was autistic, and the signs were there as early as ~2 years old. And they continue into his young adolescence. He can do math at nearly a fifth grade level, he could read as young as 2 years old (like, legit read words), he recognized complex shapes before he was two, as a five year old he memorized what every single country flag looks like. (Not kidding, to this day you could show him any flag and he'd immediately tell you the country, probably the capital and population, too.) He can be super lovable, he has no problem talking or communicating, he plays video games and loves books. On the other hand, if you give him dinner on the wrong plate, it turns into a fifteen minute problem. If he bites into a chicken nugget and gets an unexpectedly hard or crunchy piece, he might not eat again for a few days. A stranger smiling and saying "hi" to him at the grocery store could send him into a full-blown meltdown if he just happens to not be feeling social at that moment. He came home from grandma's house one day and had a conniption fit because my wife and I had moved some of the furniture around in the family room. Cutting his hair and/or fingernails is a 30 minute, borderline traumatic ordeal, every single time. He resists getting in the bathtub, but then once he's in, it's impossible to get him out. He obsesses over things that most kids his age don't. He was intensely interested in toilet and faucet brands when he was five. He was also very into corporate logos - he would do "guess that logo" quizzes and knew a ton of company logos that I'd never even heard of. He stims like crazy, jumping up and down, arms flapping, sometimes even squeals.
Storm In A Teacup 03.21.24	Sigh
tectactoe 03.21.24	Our three-year-old daughter Lily is neurotypical, and it makes it even more apparent now that Luca is definitely autistic. We look back on when he was a baby/toddler now and have said to each other "I can't believe we didn't realize it sooner". And if we can see that after having (1) one autistic child and (2) one neurotypical child, then I trust doctors who do this sort of thing for a living can diagnose with pretty good accuracy. But he was our first kid and we didn't know at the time. We just thought he was "needy". And I guess he is, but in a different way. He just requires a different kind of attention than other kids. But he's every bit as awesome if you get to know him, and I've no doubt if we can get him to focus and control his emotions and hone his social skills, he'll go on to do something great with his life because of his intelligence. He's the light of our lives and continues to amaze my wife and I on a regular basis. (No shade to my daughter, she's awesome, too.)
Colton 03.21.24	he sounds like a pretty awesome kid
pizzamachine 03.21.24	Unlike u hoes I don’t stress shizz.
IsisScript80 03.21.24	Once you get thrown headfirst into this world, doing a fair bit of research into it helps no end. There are so many presumptions (I, myself fell into) of what autism is and isn't, that are just inaccurate or missing key facets of the case in front of you. Knowing the condition... the common traits and the wide variances, are key to help navigate the individual's needs. It's the path I've been following for the last four years.
GhandhiLion 03.21.24	"like ADHD which is blatantly and egregiously overdiagnosed" How do you know that? I thought that was heavily contested.
Colton 03.21.24	i know 10+ people who got diagnosed with it because they just felt like it. they wanted adderall. they all said they just told a doctor they have a hard time paying attention sometimes and the doc was like cool just take amphetamines every day forever. i know people who got diagnosed with it on purpose just to make their parents more lenient about their grades lol
IsisScript80 03.21.24	I think for the sake of Cugno's thread, it really needs to move on from the "Argue with Colton" derailment.
Colton 03.21.24	idk if it's different in other countries but in canada if you tell a doctor your 5 year old doesn't enjoy math class they will often just medicate him. as if it's not completely normal for a 5 year old to not enjoy math class. there's almost no actual criteria by which the diagnosis is made
demigod! 03.21.24	mostly just feel autistic when i look at my post count here, mostly,,
Jasdevi087 03.21.24	"but I think for autism it's definitely more well understood than something like ADHD which is blatantly and egregiously overdiagnosed" The literature on ADHD gives it a pretty well-established neurological basis, but go off shower shitter
Kompys2000 03.21.24	Glad to hear the kids are doing well tec!
Colton 03.21.24	yeah no shit jizzdevil ADHD exists and has a neurological basis that doesn't mean it's not super overdiagnosed
Wildcardbitchesss 03.21.24	meh who cares (about the diagnosis I mean). I’m pretty sure I’m on the spectrum but didn’t really do any research on it until I was well into my 20’s. Looking back, it really explains a lot I don’t really think it matters, you’re you, and that’s great.
idiotican 03.21.24	I don't believe in mental illness. Labels won't help you
Butkuiss 03.21.24	Great, now we’ve got idiotican in here offering insightful and productive commentary too.
Colton 03.21.24	idiotican living up to his name
Slex 03.21.24	Getting diagnosed as an adult is definitely an exercise in frustration and it takes fucking forever
Snake. 03.21.24	“I don’t believe in mental illness.” Experimental (16%)
anode 03.21.24	maybe ill give my take too if youll have me lol jk i dont know the first thing about autism and seems like a touchy subject. but here it is: if youre not largely debilitated by it who cares? were all a bit fucked in the head also i think its silly how psychological diagnoses are so black and white. you would think something like autism would be on a spectrum but na if you are marginally more autistic than the next guy but over the "autism line" then youre autistic and hes not. the heck dawg
SomeCallMeTim 03.21.24	"I don't believe in mental illness. Labels won't help you" didn't everyone on this site already ask you to fuck off into oblivion, respectfully?
Ryus 03.21.24	mostly just feel autistic when i look at my post count here, mostly,, [2]
robertsona 03.21.24	I love my post count
Havey 03.21.24	“I don’t believe in mental illness.” https://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1144616&listid=205271
hexfix93 03.21.24	I got diagnosed with ASD a few years ago and I'm going on 34. It didn't change much really, aside from actually understanding why I am the way I am / why I do certain things. It did help though, in the sense that therapy is actually helpful for me now, whereas in the past I didn't get much out of it. One example of that would be like, I get social anxiety and was diagnosed SAD. Except, my anxiety is specifically caused by me lacking certain social skills. Not gonna get too much into it, but in the past, therapists treated it as if it was all caused by anxiety, so they tried helping me cope with that, but obv that never solved the issue. Vs now, a lot of my therapy is focused on me actually learning social skills I lack, especially non-verbal ones, along with some other things to do with social situations. So that's actually helped me quite a bit (and, by extension, the anxiety). There's also other things that help me a lot in my day to day / things that were never considered before getting diagnosed with ASD. So, I definitely don't think it's pointless, whether you're just curious, or especially if symptoms are actually causing you distress / interfering with your life in any way. It can take a while though. It only took me 3 months to get testing, but the first place I called had a 2+ year waiting list.
Shamus248 03.21.24	27 currently and i was diagnosed with aspergers/ASD and also ADHD around preschool IIRC. Basically I didn't know or realize until around age 10 when my dad's then girlfriend told me I had Aspergers and made it sound like a character defect, nay, that it was the reason why i had trouble making friends or maintaining good grades in school. From the beginning of my conscious life, I took Concerta for my ASD/ADHD and by my own (and my dad's recollection), it made me a zombie. I had trouble staying on task in school and my interests/hobbies were very intense/ritualistic; it's a good thing i liked Pokemon like everyone else because Good Lord above, the kids in my school did not like Yu-Gi-Oh! as much as I did Teachers/school admins worked closely w/ my dad and various therapy/youth advocate groups to 'help' (term used loosely bc they definitely hated my ass) me improve in a class setting and with that in mind, asked my dad to up the dosage of Concerta. I. Was. A. Fucking. Zombie. Worse yet, they asked him to up the dosage again and put me on Ritalin at the same time. In the summer between 8th grade and freshman year, my dad took me off all meds....and my grades and social skills rapidly improved lmfao Today, as an adult, I definitely still engage in intense interests...when I give a shit about something, eventually I get to a place where I move heaven and earth to know everything about it, collect stuff related to it and so forth. In little spurts, i can dissociate and miss social cues, but my critical thinking and social skills have improved to the point that I can function normally, but it's one of those things where it seems like such an accomplishment considering where I started.
anode 03.21.24	Damn that’s nice good for yall
Shamus248 03.21.24	I just lost my job and McDonald's is doing a Yu-Gi-Oh x Hello Kitty (?!) promotion. Time to spend my dwindling $$ on Blue-Eyes Cinnamaroll Dragon
Storm In A Teacup 03.21.24	Reads first comment from Shamus, reads 2nd comment from Shamus.
Avagantamos 03.21.24	I'm certain I'm somewhere along the spectrum, but never really realized it until I was in my 20s. I've never felt like getting an actual diagnosis though, because I don't really think it would change anything. looking back on my life it's just the only explanation that makes any sense as to why I am the way I am
AsleepInTheBack 03.21.24	[2] ^^ this so hard To YoYo and Morts points as well, I worry (a) that it’ll take ages and be a lot of hoops and (b) that the diagnosis either way (being told I’m not, when I think I am, or being told that I am) won’t necessarily help me in the round. I think i probably am, but if someone official told me that I’m not, I think I’d feel v lost. Likewise, if they tell me that I am, idk what that would change.
CugnoBrasso 03.21.24	I woke up to this thread and I love it 😍😍😍 thank you guys. Anyhoo, Avagantamos' last comments totally reflects my situation.
DoofDoof 03.21.24	Pretty sure I’m wired up differently in some way, but my parents did get me tested for autism as I was a very shy and awkward kid. The diagnosis was I was shy and awkward, maybe trauma from changing schools six times before turning ten. Whether doctors knew as much then I don’t know, guess not :/ My wife is similar, crippling shyness as a kid, then an adult very adept at covering or ignoring anxiety. Think we consciously or subconsciously recognised it in each other and maybe a big part of why it was an unsaid thing but we knew we’d stay together for the duration after only knowing each other a month. Not sure what a mental health diagnosis would mean for me, I just have a feeling that however I am different is a lot of what makes me happier than most. It certainly didn’t make me happier before my thirties though. It’s strange.
AsleepInTheBack 03.21.24	I am clueless as to where the lines between extreme shyness, introversion, social anxiety, autism, etc etc etc start and end. One of the reasons why speaking to someone might help me out ig. Some days I think I’m just introverted/insecure, others I feel like it must be more, idk.
DoofDoof 03.21.24	Yeah, hard to know when these things are personality traits etc I’ve always had the feeling there might be more to it, ex girlfriends questioned certain things too. Never stopped questioning but also at this stage I know what keeps me feeling good and healthy and things like my social anxiety are a hundred times reduced to when I was a kid, so in a way I’m not sure why I’d take a risk in disrupting things with learning more of what I should be doing if I was diagnosed with something. I used to think I was more similar to my mum and my dad would always say I was ‘his one’…but now I see my dad a lot clearer and despite him being a real high achiever I definitely see the similarities now, definitely some similar quirks there. We bond a lot now, again an unsaid recognition.
IsisScript80 03.21.24	"I am clueless as to where the lines between extreme shyness, introversion, social anxiety, autism, etc etc etc start and end." On the higher functioning end (as it absolutely is a spectrum), it is often blurry and none of that is mutually exclusive. At this point, it's usually a collection of traits or lifestyle challenges that would suggest its possibility either way.
Egarran 03.21.24	Thread turned really good. You're not supposed to be a model citizen, neurotypical people are just better at swallowing.
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	Yes it helped me. Mostly from the perspective that I already knew and therefore found solace in making it 'official'. It helped explain a lot of my behaviours and struggles growing up, as I was so 'textbook' that even back in the days where it was rarely diagnosed my parents (and a therapist) were convinced. I didn't get officially diagnosed until much later in life (in my mid-20s). It's also a protected characteristic under UK law and employers etc. cannot discriminate on that basis (which hasn't ever come up yet, but I did inform my bosses - and once expressed concern about potentially changing the lighting set-up in the offices!) Interestingly, my wife had never considered it beforehand but ended up being diagnosed as well. Autism displays quite differently in girls and is often missed, in fact her 'masking' ('copying neurotypical behaviours', essentially) was so convincing and habitual, that they didn't think she was, initially That's not to say all males are easy to spot either, as my younger brother was missed simply because he was so different to me. Outgoing, playful, liked socialising with other kids etc. He also wasn't as obviously advanced in the fields you expect of boys on the spectrum, i.e. maths, patterns, absurd levels of memorisation etc. If you met us both now, I think it's fair to say more people would think he was (not a criticism, he just displays a lot more obviously as an adult than I perhaps do, weirdly). hmm, okay this is enough text for now. I knew this would be a long one.
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	I'm not personally a fan of all this 'high functioning' nonsense, yeah it's important to know if someone is able to live independently etc. yet put someone (i.e. like me, who has a full-time job) in the wrong environment and I will soon struggle to cope I think what I'm saying is it can sometimes put unfair expectation on individuals, especially as kids growing up. I would've absolutely loved to have gone to a 'special school' for instance (I had the opportunity) yet my parents thought mainstream school was better for my social development. I don't hold this against them or anything (maybe, lol)
IsisScript80 03.21.24	"I'm not personally a fan of all this 'high functioning' nonsense either, yeah it's important to know if someone is able to live independently etc. yet put someone (i.e. like me, who has a full-time job) in the wrong environment and I will soon struggle to cope" "High functioning" is only a descriptor, in relation to people who very obviously have significant mental and social impairments with the same condition.
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	I get that, it's not linear though and is almost entirely dictated by the inputs / environment I'm just saying if used with reckless abandon it can cause unwanted harm for those who're considered 'more capable' due to expectations placed upon them
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	the opposite is also true: 'low functioning' stigmatises those who are visibly struggling to cope, when a change in the environment might help to the extent they're capable of things beyond what was previously considered possible So yeah, while I agree there are 'levels' here (or whatever) the terminology of high (or low) isn't my favourite
tectactoe 03.21.24	Demon makes excellent points. Your younger brother sounds a lot like my son. People that meet him and see him for short periods of time are sometimes surprised to learn that he has autism. "He doesn't seem autistic." Because he definitely CAN be social and outgoing and sweet so long as he has the sensory capacity for it at the moment. My wife and I also recognize that he will mask, too, especially in situations with a lot of people (like at family get togethers) and when we go home and it's just us, he kind of decompresses with a TON of stimming and wild behaviors, as if he's releasing all the stuff he was holding back. I am also not a fan of the "high functioning" labels, as not only is it harmful to those who aren't labeled as such, but it also devalues the struggles of the so-called "high functioners". My son is remarkably intelligent and can do math problems that many sixth and seventh graders probably couldn't do. He can read as good as kids twice his age. But ask him to go to a table of three or four other kids and play nicely with them and you might be in for a thirty minute meltdown. He struggles with focusing and especially with listening to instructions (more so than your average kid, obviously) which is my wife and I's biggest concern - the regimented structure of traditional grade school will be a big hurdle for him.
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	yep, your son is an excellent case study of why functioning labels can be harmful. He seems extremely advanced academically, yet not necessarily socially. So is that 'high' or is that 'low' and the point about devaluing the struggles of the so-called "high functioners" is what I was getting at, but I prefer your wording! I think stimming and 'blowing off steam' (to use an Americanism) should be encouraged, it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of and doing it periodically helps regulate your sensory overload. I held it in for many, many years. I still hold it in sometimes now, but am much more likely to not think twice now, especially around those who know me well. Bit of a tangent, but your comment about decompression resonated with me.
tectactoe 03.21.24	Oh yea for sure, my wife and I encourage our son's stims so long as they are not harmful to himself or others (and they thankfully aren't). He is obsessed with whales and has a ton of whale stuffed animals, his favorite stim is squeezing the whale, bringing it close to his face, and kind of making this strange squealing/growling noise 😂 He's been doing it for years now and my wife and I actually find it super endearing and will often do it with him so he doesn't feel as "left out" by being the only one doing it.
Zakusz 03.21.24	We all systematically rate music and file it away neatly into a pie chart that we look at every day to make sure our prog doesn't roll over the 50% margin otherwise things will get socially awkward. We're all tism'ed up a bit
Egarran 03.21.24	Functioning high is a kind of autism.
Snake. 03.21.24	I’m autistic and cannot function high smdh
IsisScript80 03.21.24	I think our experiences with this differ. We are very "in the world" of autism, and the quirks and nuances are things we experience daily (via ourselves and/our children). The wider public in general, have very little understanding of it (witness this very thread with the person from the 'outside'). Autism as a label (which if you're formally diagnosed, very much IS for better or worse--see YoYo's comment) carries with it societal expectations regardless. Society itself carries major expectations of everyone, neurotypical or not (but that subject is too big for here and now). tec, your son and mine are the same age (mine's 7 in July, BTW), flagged at the same relative age, but do not operate academically at a similar level (my guy is around about academically average-to just above average in some specific areas, very happy and socially engaged, but has Sensory Processing Disorder and a number of difficulties), yet the understanding among people is that everyone comes with the same assumptions, just by the label alone. We (my wife and I) have had stuff like: "Oh, he's not REEaalLLyY autistic... he's friendly!", "Oh, well he's definitely going to be the next Elon Musk/Bill Gates, etc.", but the reality is, those outlier cases of super-success do not appear at this stage, something that we're destined for. And with all the forms, that get him his (very much needed) 1-1s at his (mainstream) school, are greater understanding of his specific needs with descriptive language as some kind of guide is at the very least, helpful in navigating the way with people who lack awareness, but may be able to help with the support he needs through his lifetime.
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	Good comments, there are certain expectations and stereotypes that come with the territory. Part of the reason I mentioned my brother was to show 'we' aren't all the same, as my example shows that even two people who share both nature AND nurture, ended up being quite different in some respects and yeah you can't be a 'bit autistic' and the autism is not a separate entity that exists outside of the person, the person IS autistic. There's a difference in the language used which provides an important distinction, as you have ignorant people who want to eradicate it, not understanding that it's part of someone's neurology... i.e. it IS them and the environment / world around them is the cause of their issues, not this evil entity you seek to destroy (ugh, tangent again - but relevant!)
ArsMoriendi 03.21.24	Is this where all of the cool people are right now
tectactoe 03.21.24	"Oh, well he's definitely going to be the next Elon Musk" Bro I cannot tell you how many times my wife and I have heard this line, verbatim, and how fucking infuriating it is. That, and "Are you sure he's actually autistic? You/I/random other person did that when they were a kid, too." This rhetoric mostly comes from boomers and gen x-ers who were probably living with a number of autistic people who simply were never formally diagnosed as such. It's like they can't fathom the idea that someone has different needs when it comes to social interactions. One of the big things with my son is boundaries. He doesn't like when people invade his space, even if no harm is meant by it. He will sometimes panic or lash out if someone at the grocery store simply walks too closely to him. So at family events, the old ass generation will basically expect him to want to kiss/hug/touch them and he's not always okay with that. Sometimes he is, sometimes he isn't. But the way they try to guilt/force them to give him a hug and shit drives my wife and I crazy. It has caused a few family issues/fights but really idgaf, if you can't respect someone's boundaries - child or not - you can eat a dick. Just because you're fucking old doesn't mean you can make other people uncomfortable because you feel like it.
AsleepInTheBack 03.21.24	“One of the big things with my son is boundaries. He doesn't like when people invade his space, even if no harm is meant by it. He will sometimes panic or lash out if someone at the grocery store simply walks too closely to him.“ Very relatable, I hate crowded public spaces, the tube in London is a nightmare, just gotta whack on the noise cancelling headphones shut eyes and do some deep breathing when I’m out. Or else I’ll end up punching a grandma by accident. I’m being somewhat facetious but ye sensory overload and losing control over personal space sucks
gabba 03.21.24	Many kids with autism can get on really well with adults, so family friends may be surprised when hearing about the diagnosis. The real challenge is how they get on with their peers, where reading nonverbal signals becomes much more important, and they won't necessarily connect because, unlike adults, fellow kids will not be interested in their current obsession, be it whales, trains, astronomy, whatever. So, tectactoe, I hope your son's going to do well in school, for mine it took 6 years until he found his place in the classroom.
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	yeah, I loved talking to adults because they would listen to all my random facts about dinosaurs, maths, countries etc. lol I was actually seen as quite a confident child in many ways... until you saw how I interacted with my peers Ugh tect, that sounds infuriating for sure! Pretty sure I didn't always get the 'choice' either when I came to hugs etc. (depended on the family member, it varied from memory)
Demon of the Fall 03.21.24	is it amusing anyone else that this AND the "headphones" thread are both prominent on Sput at the same time? referencing Asleep's comment specifically here, haha
tectactoe 03.21.24	Thanks, gabba, and that's exactly our experience as well. Our son is currently at a therapy center, but goes 5x week (it will basically take place of kindergarten for him), and when my wife and I have asked him about friends, he always names his adult techs and teachers, and not peers (usually). What's strange, though, is that we have friends with kids his age. Totally neurotypical kids. And Luca gets along with them great. Like, amazingly so. In our experience he actual does and has traditionally done better around neurotypical kids vs. other autistic kids, and I'm not exactly sure why this is. It gives me at least a little glimmer of hope that he might stand a chance in public school. But obviously there are a ton of other variables that could affect that (more regimented schedule, less "freedom" of choice, longer periods of sitting and listening and focusing which he often struggles with, etc.).
artificialbox 03.21.24	I love you all
tectactoe 03.21.24	My son also developed a knack for coming to breweries with me. It turned into our Saturday "thing". We'd get some Wendy's nuggets (his favorite) and Doritos (his other favorite) and head to a brewery and I'd drink while he told me all about his latest obsessions, be it outer space or country flags or which toilet brands were the most/least efficient, etc. Now that my daughter is a little older, I've taken her a few times, too, but she is not as interested in hanging out with dad 😢 Relevant pic https://tectactoe.neocities.org/img/kids.jpg
gabba 03.21.24	Thanks for sharing the pic tectactoe! The thing you describe with friends' neurotypical kids happened to us as well. We thought that it had to do with the safe environment our son was at these gatherings, even though we, as parents, didn't really interact with their activities. So we were pretty surprised that it didn't work out the same way at school, although he received extra assistance from teachers as he already had a diagnosis. We arranged him play-dates and told him what he could ask from others, show more interest, etc., as if we'd provide a "manual for making friends", but it didn't really work out, and he gradually got more frustrated about it. Anyways, something changed recently, and suddenly he clicked with some boys. I guess it also helped that he learned about the diagnosis and it was also shared with the class (around the age of 9-10, but we may have been a bit late with it). I'm a firm believer of brain development, which, when combined with a caring and tolerant environment, can lead to magical things. But I'm ofc also worried about the hormones kicking-in soon, so who knows...
FowlKrietzsche 03.21.24	Have never been checked, kind of want to be, but am socially able enough now to not really need an answer. I had a weird childhood (homeschooled by religious zealots), so I've always attributed my quirks to that, but some of the stuff in this thread sounds awfully familiar
CugnoBrasso 03.21.24	Ok I was hesitant to make this list but now I'm very glad I did. Thank you all!
AsleepInTheBack 03.21.24	V good vibes, I took a lot from this too, thanks all
IsisScript80 03.22.24	Thread is saved. Thread is good. Deserves a feature.
Storm In A Teacup 03.22.24	Its not a sputnik thread till someone revives it at least once.
CugnoBrasso 03.22.24	Oh and waking up to the sound of Colton's ass getting kicked is always sweet. Can't wait for coltonmusic
pizzamachine 03.22.24	See Colton boltin’
Hendoi 03.31.24	Ranking and giving scores to albums regularly is probably a good indicator.
9Hammer 03.31.24	Thread is saved. Thread is good. [2]
Egarran 04.01.24	Autists hate this day.
ToSmokMuzyki 04.01.24	according to embrace autism.com i am mega autistic and have adhd
anode 04.01.24	Considering how your whole persona on this site is fucking with people I kinda doubt you have autism. ADHD I could see
ToSmokMuzyki 04.01.24	but i kept scoring 50% above threshold whos fucking with whom
CugnoBrasso 04.01.24	He's talking about you smok, I'm a serious and respectable user.
anode 04.01.24	You’re fucking with me. As if some online test is conclusive evidence
ToSmokMuzyki 04.01.24	dont think they were claiming it to be but thats the product of their research
anode 04.01.24	Let me rephrase: as if some online test means anything
ToSmokMuzyki 04.01.24	wow so they put all that work in for nothing also a pretty wide margin between not conclusive evidence and not anything
Sharenge 04.01.24	smok if you not autistic already you probs will be after you finish with those ten sorry you don't have to actually do that to yourself
ToSmokMuzyki 04.01.24	too late i made a commitment n im stickin to it ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ﾉ
anode 04.02.24	Alright I admit it I’m fucking with you a little bit
somnolence 04.02.24	Autism is a tax evasion conspiracy
ToSmokMuzyki 04.02.24	ah ha so YOU are the FUCKER!
somnolence 04.02.24	Heck yeah i am
Demon of the Fall 04.03.24	as in I'm entitled to tax relief? If only
tectactoe 04.03.24	Autistic anecdote from my 5 y/o (almost 6 y/o) today. One of his big obsessions right now is space. He asked me what my favorite planet was, I say Jupiter (idk I've been weirdly fond of Jupiter ever since reading Clarke's 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY) and then ask him, "what about you?" expecting something like Saturn or Mars and he looks at me dead in the eyes and says "TOI-1452b" (I had to look up the actual name of the planet to type up this anecdote because I couldn't remember the number). And I'm like, "what is that, buddy?" and he goes on to tell me that it's an "exoplanet" and rips off some other facts about it that I'm sure were correct but don't explicitly remember. Just thought I'd share for some levity. These hyper-fixations are no joke, and it's often sobering to learn that your five-year-old is smarter than you in many areas 😂
Egarran 04.03.24	What are his thoughts on the Fermi paradox?
anode 04.03.24	Oh dear don’t get the little tyke started on the Fermi paradox please
tectactoe 04.03.24	Not sure his cognition is really high enough yet to "grasp" that concept but I can ask him about it lol
protokute 04.03.24	you guys sound like excellent parents! As much as I want to be an uncle, at the same time, I really wish my sisters didn't have kids, because even though I know how having children can sometimes change you for the best, my sisters have various problematic behaviors, and totally lack reference of “good” parents (not saying that my parents were bad, but they certainly could be much better) and interest in trying to look for better information and references of parenting. It's just also so sad to have a lot of cousins with parents that lack so much maturity, good parenting skills and desire for self discovery and improvement. Actually, in my family and social circles, I don't know anyone as a good parent reference. and yes, i'm likely autistic in some way.