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User
Reviews 54
Approval 98%
Soundoffs 104
News Articles 12
Band Edits + Tags 79
Album Edits 155
Album Ratings 235
Objectivity 77%
Last Active 04-16-20 5:00 pm
Joined 02-24-16
Review Comments 4,182
| howdy yall
haven't really been active on this site for a long while now so thought id give some of u gamers a life update because i'm very interesting
albums are just the chart for 2020 fuck you | | 1 |  | Trha
Nvenlanëg
the state i lived in during the pandemic, victoria, australia, was probably the most locked down place to be during the pandemic. we were ostensibly in constant lockdown for two years straight. had to clean my ass in the shower sometimes cuz toilet paper got nuked from orbit | | 2 |  | Ulcerate
Stare Into Death and Be Still
i was staying in an apartment at the time by myself, running my own business, and somehow finding a way to make a pretty substantial living having no real clue what the fuck i was doing. july of 2020, got a knock on my door at 3am. it was a new neighbour who had been locked out of her apartment. we will call her emily. given the security room was already long closed, i offered to drive her to her sister's house outside of curfew to get her a spare key. it was a pretty surreal time to be driving around and i had no idea what would eventually come of this strange chance encounter. | | 3 |  | Akhlys
Melinoe
she got my number off of her sister who i'd had to call to get her to come downstairs to give emily the spare key. i received a text a few days later saying thanks for aiding her with getting into her apartment, and asking if i wanted to hang out with her sometime. given she lived literally two doors away from me, i took her up on the offer and we started catching up regularly during the early days of lockdown. given my perma-bachelor status, it was awesome being able to eat real food for once. | | 4 |  | Run the Jewels
RTJ4
we became very close friends. we'd never really spoken about dating; i was very busy with getting my business into full swing and she was a single mom getting her feet back on the ground after some pretty hellish experiences, so things were kept cordial and light for a few months. in all honesty, the prospect of dating someone with a young child also seemed like a colossal headache to someone like me, but i'd slowly grow fond of the little human as she herself figured i wasn't so bad. | | 5 |  | Draconian
Under a Godless Veil
at some point we did start dating. we never really settled on when it happened but it was a pretty sweet deal, being able to date your cute neighbour in the middle of Primo Victorian Lockdown, coming up with things to do without access to malls or restaurants, and also getting a pretty decent primer for what living with the other person might be like should that ever eventuate as a possibility. | | 6 |  | Jessie Ware
What's Your Pleasure?
my lease eventually came to an end and i moved to an apartment building just across the road which really heightened the liminal space-esque eeriness of lockdown living, with the two of us walking over to each other's apartments outside of curfew to hang out and shoot the shit. big ass mall to the left of the large, dormant intersection that once remained hammered with traffic in perpetuity. the traffic lights themselves went so under-utilised at night that they'd often get turned off completely. not sure if a technical issue or not but it made for some very vivid memories. | | 7 |  | Mick Gordon
Doom Eternal OST
when her lease ended we decided it would be fair game for her and the little one to move into my apartment for a while as we figured out next steps. if you've never had to live with a toddler before, holy shit. hard work. i don't really have any experience with kids at all so i can't say with certainty, but even as what i'd imagine was a relatively peaceful and very smart kid, trying to eek out good sleep was a constant battle. nightmares, bloody noses, crying herself into screams and not knowing how to self-regulate, not knowing how to communicate that she doesn't know why she's crying, not knowing what the utility in not crying is in the present moment, and so on. luckily for emily, the little one seemed to chill out within a few minutes if i sat with her for a while, but there would be those nights where the ordeals would last in excess of hours. | | 8 |  | clipping.
Visions of Bodies Being Burned
credit to her insurmountable will (or just getting a little older), she'd eventually learn to communicate (albeit through little more than grunts) while hysterical, and eventually the episodes would trail out completely. it was a pretty hectic period, with emily being in training for a new job and me essentially providing for two and a half people, but it was a lot of fun and i've got many good memories from the whole saga. | | 9 |  | Kashiwa Daisuke
Program Music III
eventually emily and the little one would move into a unit with her sister, and upon my lease ending and her sister moving out with her partner, i'd follow suit. more hectic shit would ensue; emily was working in disability and aged care for an organisation that seemingly didn't have any important systems in place. we would slowly uncover trends of sham contracting, general mismanagement, a lack of accountability for higher ups, and an uncountable tally of red flags at pretty much every level in the company. i spent many hours combing through documents, having lengthy chats with emily and some of her peers, and we would go on to file multiple reports through various government and non-government investigative boards to try and get that shit sorted. | | 10 |  | Motorpsycho
The All Is One
unfortunately nothing happened until it was too late. emily, little one and i were on our way to my parents' house for some card games and tea when she would get a phone call from a hysterical carer. emily's boss was out of town, so she had been tasked with managing the staff while he was away (something she wasn't remotely qualified, legally speaking, to do, but something she still did a stellar job of). the young man the carer had been looking after had sprinted into a nearby lake while out on a walk and drowned. he was on the autism spectrum, and while it had been documented that he was at high risk around bodies of water (due to not being able to swim, yet feeling compelled to try), that documentation not only wasn't distributed to staff, but also wasn't something accounted for in training (i.e., working with high risk clients). not only that, but his parents had SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED that he have two carers at all times due to his tendencies. | | 11 |  | The Reticent
The Oubliette
he was a pretty strong 20 year old male being looked after by a small 50-something woman who was underprepared and horribly under-informed, and emily basically had to figure out what the fuck to do in this situation having had minimal preparation for the role at a general level. she navigated it like an absolute saint, and the company was swamped in investigations in the months following. we would try to push for further legal action for justice for the young man and his family but nothing would ultimately come of it which was a huge blow. | | 12 |  | The Ocean
Phanerozoic II: Mesozoic | Cenozoic
we eventually moved into a different house. it was in a lovely neighbourhood, two storeys, nice back yard, whole kit and kaboodle. little one had started attending an educational daycare centre with sick tech and awesome activities; teachers and carers would send emily status updates throughout the day with photos of new drawings and the little one running around. felt a bit strange rocking up as this kinda scruffy looking, ethnically ambiguous nerd to pick her up or drop her off whenever i'd had the availability, but it was invaluable getting the experience i think. small talk with actual parents at a place parents congregate to do parental things is odd. receptionists had to confirm my identity like 6 times before they stopped asking to see my ID. probably shoulda shaved more often i reckon. | | 13 |  | Emma Ruth Rundle and Thou
May Our Chambers Be Full
during this period, emily had begun receiving some work from a relative. i didn't really inquire too heavily into what it was as she was also busy with work at a new job, and we were still largely available to each other in the same capacity. i'd eventually learn she'd been involved in the cannabis industry, a drug that is very much illegal here in australia (boo!). | | 14 |  | Wobbler
Dwellers of the Deep
this was a bit of an issue as we'd established a very good life for ourselves. i'd been getting busier with my own projects, winning contracts for a few large companies. little one was going to be of school age soon. we'd found a lovely house in a lovely area. i'll be honest i was a bit anxious at this point. we always communicated openly and honestly but i felt like i was slowly selling my life to a pathway that would lead to settling down. i'd been running some tekken events prior to the pandemic which i now had no time to organise, and i wasn't getting as much time as i wanted to work on my own hobbies or hang out with my old friends. | | 15 |  | Dreamcatcher (KR)
Dystopia : The Tree of Language
we'd never really argued until she told me about her secondary line of work. it was a tricky situation because we'd just moved into a new spot together, and our lives were pretty firmly intertwined at this point. if not for her new occupation, we would probably still be together now, but looking out for my own best interests, i decided to stick things through until our lease ended, then i would go my own separate way. i couldn't handle the risk, i couldn't handle knowing that she also had a little one who would get caught in the crossfire should anything get uncovered, and i started getting a LOT of stress ulcers trying to navigate all of this without having anyone to confide in. my parents lived a good hour away, and while i love them to bits, there are certain topics i just wasn't willing to broach with them. | | 16 |  | Samsara Blues Experiment
End of Forever
i sat emily down one day and told her what my plan was, and that should she exit out of the work she was doing, i'd be willing to reconsider my plans. she was very receptive, not in some desperate sense, but she acknowledged my concerns, and promised that after her next job she would end things there. too little too late, as i'd soon come to find out. | | 17 |  | Envy
The Fallen Crimson
while interstate for a work project, i received a panicked call from her sister, jenny, who also knew about emily's work. she hadn't been able to speak to emily for a few days. i hadn't spoken to her in a couple days either, but just assumed she had been busy. suspicions were confirmed when jenny got a call from an interstate police body expressing that emily had been caught with two full suitcases full of cannabis. hooo boy. | | 18 |  | Dir En Grey
落ちた事のある空
sunk pretty much all my savings into lawyer fees over the next few months. jenny and emily aren't aussies themselves, and i was the only person who could comb through all the necessary documentation, liaise legal help, communicate with governing bodies, and so on. all the while, having to look after the little one by myself, pay the bills for a house i couldn't afford by myself, and try to navigate the heartache of a multitude of different parties. i generally pride myself in my strong mental health, self confidence, and emotional regulation, but fuck it did a lot of damage. was walking down the stairs one night and lost all sensation in my legs, luckily didn't fall down the stairs but sank to my knees and had a proper sob. | | 19 |  | Panzerfaust
The Suns of Perdition - Chapter II
several flights interstate and a lot of money later, she got slapped with two years in jail and pretty much a guarantee of deportation. her brother, who's only crime was carrying the suitcase down a stairwell, him not being at all connected to the organisation emily was working with, would end up getting deported himself. he's a genuinely good kid with a bright future so it was devastating having to navigate that one. | | 20 |  | Nothing
The Great Dismal
at the home front, during christmas of last year, victoria got hit with its hottest christmas period in years. the only major gripe we'd had with the house we were staying in was it being a double storey carpeted house with no aircon. boxing day hits and it is a fucking scorcher. i went to pick up the little one from a friend's house (thank god for her friends cuz damn our house was a furnace) and took her to the movies to try and escape the heat. we watched the sonic movie. it was great. unfortunately the house was still a furnace when we got home at around 7pm, so i grabbed every fan i could find and set them all up in her bedroom so she could hopefully get some sleep. it was humid as balls and even with the fans i felt very irresponsible for even allowing the possibility of a 4 year old having to sleep in weather like that with no ac, but it was all i could manage at the time. | | 21 |  | Sangre de Muerdago
Xuntas
after a lot of cold water, wet towels, and reading through maybe four or five different books to her, she eventually fell asleep so i headed downstairs to eat some food and watch some tv. maybe an hour later, i heard the sound of the upstairs toilet flushing, and thought nothing of it. she's toilet trained and very independent, so i kept watching tv. the flushing sound persisted. toilet has a problem where if you press the flush too hard it jams and will spend all night refilling. thought nothing of it until a few minutes later when water started dripping through the ceiling onto my food. awww shit | | 22 |  | Ichiko Aoba
アダンの風
it wasn't her toilet. the master bedroom sink's pipes had exploded and the entirety of the master bedroom was flooded by the time i made it up the stairs. water had started seeping into the corridor too. panicked, sprinted downstairs googling emergency plumber numbers while scouring the house for the mains water tap. could not find it for the life of me and the plumber was still 45 minutes away. he told me to ring the fire brigade, which i did, and just wait for him to arrive. grabbed the little one and we sat in the lounge, red and sweaty, waiting for help. | | 23 |  | Havukruunu
Uinuos Syömein Sota
when the plumber and fire brigade arrived, they ended up having to cut down a massive bush to get access to the mains line that was meant to be cut down by the home owners months ago. they poked holes in the ceiling all around the house to drain the water. i called my parents to come and pick up the little one. she was a trooper, sitting in my car with nothing more than a bottle of water and a book and waited patiently. i got swarmed by mosquitos. shit sucked ass. house was deemed wholly unfit to live in, and so i started the process of clearing it out by myself in the coming days. | | 24 |  | Crippled Black Phoenix
Ellengaest
the problems don't end there unfortunately! because i'd used an emergency plumber on google and not the recommended plumber, the home owner didn't want to pay for the damages. the agent representing me was away for christmas break, so i was having to negotiate through a second agent with seemingly no clue on what was going on, how good we had been as tenants, the constant reports we'd filed any time we noticed an issue with the house, and so on. it was a fee for about $1500aud, which isn't a massive sum of money, but when you've just dumped all your life savings into court fees, are paying rent for a house outside of your pay grade, have a small alien who needs feeding too, and work for yourself, it was a devastating blow. luckily, after much back and forth and a couple of legal threats, i managed to get the owner to pay the fucking bill thank god man that shit sucked ass | | 25 |  | Black Magick SS
Rainbow Nights
all the while, during the move out, they'd had to get a cleanup company to install these massive drier machines to extract all the moisture from the house. i've lived in rural australia, i've lived in california, i've experienced a spicy arizona summer, and i can say in full confidence that those machines turned the upstairs portion of the house into a fucking microwave. must've been at least 50c up there. horrendously hot. i could only move things down from upstairs two trips at a time before needing a full hour break. i've moved house about 25 times now (no joke unfortunately) and this was by FAR the most stressful and most dangerous move i've ever done. would not wish it on my worst enemies. | | 26 |  | Martin Grech
Hush Mortal Core
eventually managed to get everything moved out. little one ended up in jenny's care and they've largely been looking after her by themselves ever since. i'll give them a hand from time to time but due to how far away i live from them i can't help out in any regular capacity. emily remains in jail until next march. we still speak; she gets to make 15 minute phone calls out of the prison a couple of times a day depending on prison staff availability and a litany of other factors. | | 27 |  | Alustrium
Insurmountable
it's frustrating because she is genuinely a stellar human. she's completed every single course the prison offers. she was rapidly expedited to the best pods in the prison. she gets jobs that no one else is allowed to carry out. she gets so much preferential treatment at this point that other inmates have been causing her problems over it. she's become a great artist since being in there (no prior experience in drawing or painting), constantly gets in trouble for taking too many books from the library, and has an incredibly glowing reputation. this was exactly the kind of person she was outside of the prison, so it's painful that her life in australia is pretty much over, regardless of who she was and what she had the potential to become. | | 28 |  | Jeff Rosenstock
NO DREAM
the relationship is over, mind you. i'm on great terms with her, her family, and she still has my support. it's weird to know what to make of it all. i'm in the best possible recovery space right now, living with my brother and a housemate. my social circle has expanded significantly in recent. work has picked up. tekken 8 is around the corner. i couldn't really ask for a better possible place to be, it truly is an awesome time. in turn, the last few years with emily were also the best years of my life up until that point, without a doubt, no notes. | | 29 |  | Machine Girl
RePorpoised Phantasies
frustrating that it was all thrown down the drain due to some risky behaviours. but the learning experience, while a steep price for entry, was invaluable, i think. just wanted a place to vent and what better place than in the company of people who proactively engage with edm. u make me sick! no but thanks for reading/scrolling to the comments.
love most of u. please look after yourselves and stay hydrated, too many kidney stones gamers in my friends list rn lmao | |
BMDrummer
05.31.23 | holy shit that was a fucking ride, i guess i've survived some crazy shit on my end but this is so much, glad you seem to be making the most out of it and doing well | budgie
05.31.23 | these r really strange album blurbs | MarsKid
05.31.23 | Jesus. That is quite the story my man. I'm sorry that all of that transpired, but ultimately glad you are both back here and seem to be coming out on the other side of this with plenty of support and happiness. Good vibes homie. | Dewinged
05.31.23 | welcome back Ramon, you were missed, and happy to read you're doing well now.
What a story, here's hoping everything works out for Emily and the little one in the future. As a dad who went through my daughter's first 3 years probably at the same time you did, I really understand what you've been through, well fought dude.
Enjoy Tekken 8! | Deez
05.31.23 | That's fking wild man. I was just thinking'what a puss' leaving a girl you loved over a bit of weed but guess you were right! Glad you're in a good place man could easy have gone the other way. | evilford
05.31.23 | Crazy story man. Glad you came out the other end of all of this with a positive outlook.
And it's good to see u back too! | ramon.
05.31.23 | thanks for the kind words y'all, means a lot!
@dew appreciate your empathy, little ones are definitely a lot of work but i'm so happy i got a trial run haha, and hell yea tekken 8 gonna bump hard
@deez haha, was definitely more than a "bit", love the green myself but 18kgs worth might be pushing things aye, thanks for the kind words | Deez
05.31.23 | Oh for sure!! Jesus, It sounded initially she was just doing bits on the side not suitcases ffs Fk that shit man, my mate got 4 years in Taiwan for half of that man | JohnnyoftheWell
05.31.23 | what the shit ramon i want to give you an ice cream and a hug immediately. power on my dude! | Pheromone
05.31.23 | u write nice u should review albums
| fogza
05.31.23 | geez what a three hump, sea monster-on-a-map of story. you sound like a really good guy, sorry that all that stuff happened to you. | Rowan5215
05.31.23 | ramon is handsome and funny and a great guy
love you homie, genuinely glad things are looking better recently | ramon.
05.31.23 | @deez fuarrrrk, that’s rough man. guess we won the geographical bingo as far as these crimes go haha
thanks again you beauts, im not quite as handsome as rowan but im well on the way | ffs
05.31.23 | crazy shit, props for keepin it real. you're stronger now | SteakByrnes
05.31.23 | just read through it all and I remember you talking about every situation back when they happened, still crazy to read it but I'm glad you managed as well as you did brother man. I love you my brother ramon, one day I will fly to you | Feather
05.31.23 | This was such a nice slice of life post. I am glad you are doing well Ramon. Sorry things ended in such a tough way and out of the blue a bit. Sounds like you created a whole new life and then had it disappear, good for you on making the best of it. | Feather
05.31.23 | Also, I am more of a Soul Calibur guy, but I am still excited for you with Tekken clearly being the more popular (and superior) game. | Feather
05.31.23 | Out of curiosity, where are you from? Weed laws have relaxed so much in the US I forget what a serious crime it can be elsewhere (and in certain states) | el_newg
05.31.23 | nuts that this all happened in such a short period. by the sounds of it you've done everything you can here, been the best person you can be. something to be proud of. | PitchforkArms
05.31.23 | gdamn that was an experience to read through. I'm glad you're in a spot you're content with after all of that nonsense. | ramon.
05.31.23 | touched by you all!! definitely proud of where i'm at now, all things considered
@feather straya moite! land of feral mythos, poisonous animals, swathing bans on violent video games, and a damning aversion to the devil's lettuce. soulcal rules, xianghua gaming | Storm In A Teacup
06.01.23 | Howdy doodly | Feather
06.01.23 | @ramon wow, very interesting. Never heard of it, but did some quick research and wow. Also thank you for approving of SC, I am a Siegfried. The arcade across the street from my place just magically got a SC game recently and I am on cloud 9 :-) | Egarran
06.01.23 | Damn that list is tr00 af. |
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