Brendan Schroer

Reviews 256
Soundoffs 132
News Articles 31
Band Edits + Tags 52
Album Edits 41

Album Ratings 3313
Objectivity 69%

Last Active 12-23-22 6:13 pm
Joined 04-27-15

Review Comments 19,637

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The Big 15,000 (with soundoffs!)

I want to thank, uh, Sputnik and uh... my family and friends and, uh, the lovely userbase for getting me here to accept this honor of 15,000 comments. As a celebration, here are some of the classic soundoffs I've done over the years :]

I know you guys get a lot of shit from the Bernie crowd, but I honestly owe my life to
you guys.

I was in the hospital after quite a bad car accident. I was in a bad coma and they didn't
think I would live. Then Headstrong started playing on the radio and I got up to turn it
off :]
2Five Finger Death Punch
And Justice for None

Why did the band feel the need to elaborate that their punch includes five fingers? I'm not sure what a knuckle sandwich with a pinkie out would look like, but it's probably pretty silly. Then again, Patrick Star once taught me that having your pinkie out is supposed to be a status symbol and a sign of being fancy, and I suppose he's got a point
3In Flames

It looks as though their career is certainly going up... in flames :D :D :D
Certified Lover Boy

The only emoji that could be shared by both pregnant women and craft beer enthusiasts
5Soundtrack (Film)
Black Panther The Album

"I'm always astounded at how often this website writes off flawless production like this. For shame, this could be better than damn maybe"

"This is better than DAMN. I know that's not saying much, but still."

Implementing soundoffs was a mistake
6Cannibal Corpse
Violence Unimagined

What a loving mother :]
7At Wendy's

bump this soundoff to instantly die
8The Faceless

I can fit a tire in my ass
9Dream Theater
Images and Words

The triggered percussion in conjunction with the soothing sounds of the soprano sax ignite my imagination like a tiger who defends his young from the ferocity of the Australian Tasmanian Devil. Whenever my ears experience the majesty of Learning to Live, I like to pretend that I am a little toddler whose living is truly learning. This album is the King Richard III of progressive metal. This is the winter of our discontent from trying to air drum to odd time signatures and polyrhythms! (this was a copypasta, but I couldn't help it)
California 37

Why does Pat Monahan insist on comparing his love to garbage? I mean shit, give yourself a little more credit than that
Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites

It sounds like androids fucking. I mean, I'm a pretty open-minded guy and I'd be down to try and fuck a robot, but I don't believe Sonny represents this act very well... not that I'd know...
In Cauda Venenum

insult insult insult insult insult insult *Opeth* insult insult insult insult insult insult negative criticism

Man, her moans are so damn sexy
In My Time

This should be essential listening for anyone who's either currently a classical musician or really into modern classical music - particularly romantic-era classical music. Each composition unfolds at an exceptionally natural pace, and the vibe of the overall experience is simply beautiful. Yanni decided to break away from his band-oriented arrangements for more piano-centric miniatures that give off an intimate quality for the listener, leading to a more stripped-down record. Ultimately, this is why it works so well; you get to hear Yanni's work in a more personal light, as just one man and his piano. The album's tone definitely lends itself to feelings of personal reflection and sort of a "zen"-like state of being, but it's more than just that. The subtlety, beauty, charm, and expansive nature of each song ensures a rich and rewarding listen for anyone who enjoys softer music (or, as I said, classical music). Get this if you haven't.
I Piss Shit

Considering I've been eating lots of peanuts, I'd say things are gonna get pretty messy in a second
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