MarsKid
Mitch Worden
Emeritus

Reviews 172
Approval 98%

Soundoffs 200
News Articles 34
Band Edits + Tags 478
Album Edits 1,058

Album Ratings 5903
Objectivity 86%

Last Active 01-01-70 12:00 am
Joined 01-01-70

Review Comments 21,030

 Lists
09.20.23 MarsBro's Court of 2023 ♦08.30.23 MarsBro's NFL Ranking: '23-'24 Preseaso ♦
06.23.23 Mars 23/5: All the Goodies ♦02.24.23 straight edge friendos
01.28.23 Mars Ranks: Avantasia01.11.23 MarsBro's NFL Ranking: '22-'23 Season F ♦
01.09.23 The Weekly Dive: Doom and Melodic Death01.06.23 MarsBro's NFL Ranking: Week 18
01.02.23 The Weekly Dive: Hip-Hop12.28.22 Build-an-Album II, GAME OVER: Adios, Am
12.27.22 MarsBro's NFL Ranking: Week 1712.26.22 Mars Ranks: Blue October
12.20.22 MarsBro's NFL Ranking: Week 1612.13.22 MarsBro's NFL Ranking: Week 15
12.12.22 Build-an-Album II, R13(P3): The Final C12.08.22 MarsBro's Court of 2022
12.07.22 MarsBro's NFL Ranking: Week 1412.04.22 Build-an-Album II, R12(P3): Just One of
More »

Build-an-Album R5: Dad Bods Unite

The train keeps rollin' and rollin and rollin' on this wild ride.
1Bon Iver
For Emma, Forever Ago

The genre was FOLK, the theme was TEARJERKER, and users had to make albums of no specific track limit, but at or under 50 minutes in total duration. The dumb rule called for contestants to get "unconventional" by including different instruments in their song choices. Despite the round's supposedly sad direction, what emerged were a slew of average or poor records. Who came out on top and who is getting bumped off? Let's check.
2Macho Man Randy Savage
Be A Man

goblinilbog unfortunately missed the deadline. This has resulted in an automatic ELIMINATION.
3Tomberlin
At Weddings

Zombie's album: It was hard to describe Zombie’s album as anything else except “okay.” On occasion, sure, this had great moments—track 6’s vulnerable vocal performance and the various elements that compose track 7—but they were just moments. Everything else felt very restrained or too gentle, lacking the emotional punch that the round called for. The songs themselves were full of individual merit, especially any that featured a piano (just worked well here I suppose) but they didn’t seem very powerful either, especially as a collective whole. This came close to falling outside the borders. VERDICT: 3.6
4Typhoon (USA-OR)
Offerings

bg's album: Unfortunately, there were too many instances of boredom or worse sensations abound in here. Track 4 was plain uninspired, track 6 added nothing of note, and 8 overstayed its welcome very quickly with its repetition and questionable vocals. If this had been composed of more tracks akin to 7 or contained a similar vibe, this album’s quality would have exponentially increased. As it stands, it evened out to be about as mediocre are possible. Little emotion resonance was detected throughout. VERDICT: 3.0
5Phil Ochs
Pleasures of the Harbor

Uzumaki's album: Consistency is a consistent (ha) issue in this competition, and this album was no exception: the first half’s positives were few and far between, while the second half excelled and hit all the right marks for this round. Beginning with track 4’s gut-punching lines towards its conclusion, this went on a run full to the brim with strong songs that gelled excellently together. Track 7 in of itself perfectly encapsulated what this round was meant to strive for. The only gripe here was track 8 could have functioned without the talking, which dragged it down. The message, however, was delivered effectively. VERDICT: 4.2
6Mount Eerie
Clear Moon

Sinternet's album: I had a pretty decent listening experience overall when going through this album, but I don’t think it gave off a sense of having much staying power. Highlights could certainly be picked out, ranging from track 6’s instrumental explosion and 10’s double-attack of evocative lyricism and a compelling vocal performance—ditto for track 11 while we’re at it. As a whole, it was as cohesive as one would expect out of Sint’s custom records, but the memorable of this product fell short in a way; it didn’t stretch as far as it could to elicit an emotional reaction. Try as I might, I am also not a fan of Ben Howard and find him to be okay at his best. This was still great, don’t get me wrong, but lacking. VERDICT: 3.9
7Sparklehorse
It's a Wonderful Life

Steak's album: The worst thing to have to describe is something that is just okay; as such, this round produced another album that was just that. By track 6, I realized that none of the included songs were pulling much emotional weight, and some were rather poor—track 7’s very drawn-out conclusion comes to mind. The opening four entries set a certain tone and were enjoyable in that regard, but the rest felt very passable. There’s little to offer in the way of critique when the product as a whole seems to offer little itself. Something more along the lines of track 3’s lyrical and instrumental content would have fit the bill. VERDICT: 3.2
8David Crosby
If I Could Only Remember My Name

butch's album: Butch seemed to shoot for classic records, but the choices that were made here were generally dull. Similarly to what has been stated previously, few (if any) included tunes brought me close to any emotional reaction, aspiring to no status outside of that terrible ‘okay’ label. The introduction and track 9 were downright tedious in their uninspired songwriting, while tracks like 6, 7, and 8 all blended together in their average presentations. Considering how stuffed with filler this inevitably felt, it was excruciating to get through, in a way. It’s not a terrible album, but it certainly lacks merit, and its bland contents drug it down far below the waterline. VERDICT: 2.8
9Joan Baez
Diamonds and Rust

Berry's album: When it comes to drawing a line in the sand for what is folk and what isn’t, I ended up being pretty lenient. This record ended up being the one that toed too far outside, and this is excluding the fact that the folk songs it did include were poor or were divorced thematically from the round. Metallica didn’t belong here and it was a bad tune overall, and while the Lynyrd song was great (and I gave it a pass), it didn't come close to being a really emotional work. The unfortunate thing is that that was the best this had to offer; track 2 sucks outright and fellow entries were simply serviceable at their highest points. This was a swing and a wide miss. VERDICT: 2.6
10Phoebe Bridgers
Killer

neek's album: After landing on a genre that finally suited his skillset, neek ended up presenting an album that was surprisingly below expectations. After a decently-impactful opener, the release transitions to more boring Ben Howard stuff. Additions like track 4 were confusing: was I supposed to cry here or what? The vibe was completely off. And while Damien Rice is an ideal choice to get me bawling, track 5 wasn’t the way about it. Surely an amazing song, it isn’t what I would consider a gut-puncher. Tracks 7 and 9 were both beautiful in their lyrical content and the vocal deliveries, but this ended up falling short when considering the entire duration. VERDICT: 3.5
11Woods of Ypres
Woods V: Grey Skies and Electric Light

Storm's album: For the most part, Storm managed to make an album that was full of lyrical and emotional high points. The flow between the tracks wasn’t too strong and some moments—Trophy Scars the chief example—stretched too far outside of folk. However, tracks 2, 6, 7, and 8 all had memorable performances paired with equally effective vocals and musical arrangements. There was a delicacy here that paired well with the topics covered, rounding off an effective record. And yeah, Finality got me, but that’s just playing dirty dude. It is a comp though, and in that regard it was a perfect choice. VERDICT: 4.25
12Elliott Smith
Either/Or

Phero's album: When a provided release is finished, it’s occasionally easy to pinpoint one track specifically as what the album ‘should have’ been—that is to say, the mood and/or instrumental motifs it could have followed that would have made it better. The finale on this, for instance, was exactly what the round desired, but fellow tunes did not follow suit. The worst was track 3, which was undeniably engaging and well-composed, but it contributed nothing to the theme and the album itself. Track 4’s long length and lack of compelling content posed the same issue; be careful when banking on big songs, since when they don’t work out it severely cripples the end result. VERDICT: 3.1
13Bon Iver
For Emma, Forever Ago

In terms of scoring, this was probably the lowest across the board so far, with only two users cracking a 4.0 or higher--and not a tear was shed. Let's see who snagged a placement!
FIRST PLACE: Storm (4.25)
SECOND PLACE: Uzumaki (4.2)
THIRD PLACE: Sinternet (3.9)
This was a rough one, like post-rock. I thought that maybe those would be more "safe"' in the face of things like grind and industrial, yet here we are. While we're at it, we have to say goodbye to a contestant.
Berry (2.6) is ELIMINATED. Thank you for joining the competition and make sure to stick around!
14Macho Man Randy Savage
Be A Man

Perhaps I'm made out of stone after all. I'm sure there's an existentialist dilemma to uncover there. Similarly, there are probably many people in dad jeans and Rush t-shirts having issues with the state of the world because of modern music and all that. Where am I going with this? It's just a terrible segue into what the random genre wheel has brought forth to you brave contestants today.
15Rush
2112

So if you couldn't guess, it's time to prog-it-up with PROGRESSIVE ROCK. However you decide to operate in this round, it's going to have to be classified under that genre banner. Dig up some old King Crimson merchandise or find that neglected XL one stuffed in your dad's drawer. I know it's there.
16Macho Man Randy Savage
Be A Man

The theme is going to be Epic Flow. I've talked a lot about how much an album's transitions can make for a seamless listening experience and ultimately make the whole so much more cohesive. Here, it's the goddamn focus of the round; the album you create will be judged closely on its connectivity. Build it like it's not necessarily a record, but one big song.
17Macho Man Randy Savage
Be A Man

The magic track number is going to be 6, because it's going to be that way. The eventual product cannot exceed one hour, not even by a nanosecond. And that repeat track rule from last round? Consider that a "point of no return" rule; you've made it this far, so it's time to pull your big-boy/girl/etc. pants up and get creative, get dirty, and so on. Claim 'em while they're hot!
18Macho Man Randy Savage
Be A Man

The cherry on top is that Dad bands are (mostly) out of the question. Yeah, see, we're going to function under a New School = Cool "dumb rule," so throw out any hopes of tossing in some Yes tunes. The only tracks allowed this round must have been released in the 21st century. So I guess you COULD put in a Yes track, but I don't think it'll be pretty.
19Macho Man Randy Savage
Be A Man

SUMMARY:
Genre = Progressive Rock
Theme = Epic Flow
Requirement = 6-track album; cannot exceed 1hr.
"Dumb Rule" = can only use tracks from the 21st century
20Macho Man Randy Savage
Be A Man

Contestants:
ZombieToyDuck | Storm | Pheromone | Uzumaki | Sinternet | bgellesp | butherboy | SteakByrnes | neekafat
21King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard
Nonagon Infinity

Storm:
1. "Televators" by The Mars Volta
2. "The Willing Well III: Apollo II: The Telling Truth" by Coheed and Cambria
3. "People Vultures" by King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard
4. Blood on the Radio" by Thank You Scientist
5. "Living Is A Problem Because Everything Dies" by Biffy Clyro
6. "Care" by Dance Gavin Dance
22The Fall of Troy
Phantom on the Horizon

Zombie:
1. The Fall of Troy- Chapter IV
2. Fox Vibes- Baby, I Invented the Disco
3. A Lot Like Birds- Properties of Friction
4. Chon- Splash
5. Royal Coda- Cut Me Under
6. Dance Gavin Dance- Carl Barker
23The Enid
Invicta

bg:
1. The Enid- One and the Many
2. Gosta Berlings Saga- Nattskift
3. Ingranaggi Delle Valle- Ayida Wedo
4. The Future Kings Of England- Convinced Disbeliever
5. Gazpacho- Ive Been Walking pt 2a
6. Il Bacio Della Medusa- Corale per messa de requiem
24Sianvar
Stay Lost

Steak:
1. Sianvar - Stay Lost
2. Stolas - Bellwether
3. Chon - Waterslide
4. Dance Gavin Dance - Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most
5. A Lot Like Birds - Vanity's Fair
6. Polyphia - Finale
25Steven Wilson
The Raven That Refused to Sing (And Other Stories)

Uzumaki:
1. Opeth - Will o’ The Wisp
2. Kairon; IRSE! - Sinister Waters I
3. Steven Wilson - My Book Of Regrets
4. Rush - Caravan
5. Karnivool - Aum
6. Steven Wilson - The Pin Drop
26Ephel Duath
The Painter's Palette

butch:
1. Ephel Duath - Praha
2. Akiko Shikata - Flower Funeral
3. Acousic Ladyland - Saltwater (Scott Walker Mix)
4. The Residents - Three Metaphors Wolverines
5. Getatchew Mekurya, The Ex and Guests - Eywat Setenafegagn
6. Oxbow - She's a Find
27 Beak (UK)
> >

Phero:
1. Beak> - Wulfstan
2. Buckethead - Lirtson Nostril (I predict this ~could~ bore you)
3. Steven Wilson - Drive Home
4. Frost* - Snowman
5. Iamthemorning - Touching II
6. Matt Elliott - Wings & Crown
28Oceansize
Frames

Sint:
1. Oceansize - Commemorative 9/11 T-Shirt
2. Rishloo - Winslow
3. Mastodon - North Side Star
4. The Mars Volta - Inertiatic ESP
5. Gazpacho - ABC (Molok)
6. Father Figure - Splitting Euphoria
29Foxing
Nearer My God

neek:
1. Foxing - “Gameshark”
2. The Voidz - “Human Sadness”
3. Radiohead - “Jigsaw Falling into Place”
4. Peter Gabriel - “Signal to Noise”
5. TV on the Radio - “Blues from Down Here”
6. David Bowie - “Lazarus”
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