parksungjoon
I was living in constant fear of someone neg bombing all my reviews cause I know how many detest me
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Last Active 08-04-22 7:10 am
Joined 08-07-13

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03.23.24 blastin03.22.24 Sputnik's Sacred Crows
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09.03.23 10 dumb things I've heard about music08.24.23 colour scheme
07.23.23 For Hawks, some demos07.22.23 parks and recs
07.21.23 robert sona nudes and fursona EXPOSED07.18.23 really missing TheSpirit hard rn
07.17.23 Colton hunted by Putin07.16.23 5s on 5s: Cyclotron vs megadeth16
07.15.23 ryus review biokinetics07.11.23 robert or johnathan
05.03.23 my 10 favourite writers on sput05.01.23 Woman has full body orgasm during LA Ph
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5s on 5s: Cyclotron vs megadeth16
1DJ Shadow
Endtroducing.....


endtroducing our contestants
2Cybotron
Enter


Cyclotron, joined 2015
- is known for his unfathomably based sellmeagod rating scale and the deluge of tears it has caused over the years as a result of rating almost everything a 1 or a 2
- is also known for adding cool music in particular based electronic singles to the database that no one thought to add before, only to then 1 them
- despite this he still has 5s, 5 of them in fact
- he rated this album Cybotron Enter a 1 btw
3Megadeth
The World Needs a Hero


megadeth16, joined 2010 but has absolutely had other accounts too
- somebody recently implied not knowing of this user which weirded me out so hard i almost shidded myself on the spot but barely maintained
REGARDLESS
- is known for 5ing quite literally entire LP discographies of 70s and 80s rock and metal
- is known for being one of the first users to accidentally show us that the Sputnik objectivity stat TM will bottom out at 15% but no lower
- used to have more than ten thousand ratings at some point
- currently has over two thousand 5s
- has been banned and/or wiped at least a couple times iirc, many of his current ratings seem to be from the like 2018 onward
4Killing Joke
Killing Joke


im not sure why we put killing joke here, but i like this album and i like this band so i'll allow it
5Christian Death
Only Theatre of Pain


round juan: first 5 on the list

you don't need to know what deathrock is in order to think this album rules hard. but if you know anyone who says "death rock" but actually means slipknot, probaly dont recommend it to them. too bad this only has one troll review on this site. anyway this is one of two (out of five) cyclotron 5s that is directly post-punk related but the only cyclotron 5 that isnt woman-led
61349
Hellfire


round juan: first 5 on the list

in a series of over two thousand fives it's probably not entirely surprising that the alphabetised first will start with a number. unfortunately that number is 1349, which has no meaning in the context of megadeth16's ratings, profile or sputnik as a whole. it is supposedly the year the plague reached norway. too bad even the plague couldnt stop all these 7th rate norsecore bands. the problem with 1349, much like the problem with tsjuder, is that theyre just a shittier marduk, which in turn is just a shittier gorgoroth, which in turn was never an outstanding pillar of 2nd wave black metal to begin with. NEXT
7Cybotron
Enter


this round goes to cyclotron despite his HARD political support for a industrially murdering males until we reach a 20/80 gender split
8Kate Bush
The Dreaming


round tsu: most surprising 5

the reason this is cyclotron's most surprising 5 is because kate bush rules so hard she was actually successful in real life unlike most of the things that rymmers such as cyclotron and myself love to jock. not only that, kate bush has always been sputcore because not even this site of angry rawr rawr rockin manbabies could deny the truth inherent in her riffs and blasts. finally, this is the best and most consistently awesome kate bush album, so of course youd never expect anyone to 5 it instaed of the more popular one
9Shakira
Laundry Service


round tsu: most surprising 5

its not even the only shakira album 5d by megadeth16, go figure, but yea

in a quasi-infinite ocean of rock and metal and solo albums by rock and metal musicians and some not too crazy other-genre picks like ice cube and daft punk... shakira
10Megadeth
The System Has Failed


this round goes to shakira for being incomprehensible and baffling both in context of its user and relative to broader rating trends. although the dreaming is obv goated, it's also to some degree the kind of album we come to expect from cyclotron
11Strawberry Switchblade
Strawberry Switchblade


richard roundtree: MOST VISIONARY 5

cyclotron's 5 of strawberry switchblade appears dated March 3rd 15. at the time, the rym entry for strawberry switchblade had literally 8% of the ratings it currently does (3544 and bolded). quite literally more than half of said 3544 have come in since 2021. shit blew up, and cyclotron fingered his nostradamussy to let us know far in advance, only we were too blinded by hate to listen.
12Sabhankra
From the Frozen Mountains


richard roundtree: MOST VISIONARY 5

it's hard to imagine a visionary 5 in this massive cornucopia of vanilla straightforward rockmetalshit. the obscure picks are largely not that obscure, and nothing i see seems to rock the boat at all other than voivod but their peak has come and gone 35 years ago. ive never heard of sabhankra and apparently neither has anyone else, which is just as well for 2010s melodeath/meloblack/whatever, but i guess imma go with this in case someone decides 30 years from now that its actualy a secret cult classic? flimsy, i know, im doing my best here
13Cybotron Featuring Dillinja
Threshold / Got To


this round goes to cyclotron, who btw added this single just to 2 it
14Siouxsie and the Banshees
Juju


round fo: WORST 5

this is the worst cyclotron 5 not because it is the least good album that cylcotron has 5d but because it is the most popular siouxsie album, a recognisable genre landmark that achieved moderate commercial success, and worst of all an album that stole its name from a less successful album by an underappreciated black musician
15Sean Paul
The Trinity


round fo: WORST 5

i mean. this is clearly the worst 5 so
16Megadeth
Super Collider


this round goes to smegmabreath
17Jessica Pratt
On Your Own Love Again


round 5/5: most recent 5

this is the only cyclotron 5 that is not from the early or mid 80s. it is in fact from the 2010s. one could argue this is par for the course for some genres of rymmers. now tbh ive never even heard of jessica, i can only hope she's not an actual prat. from the genre and relateds i can only surmise this might be the kind of music that necrotica would dig and review
18Overkill
Scorched


round 5/5: most recent 5

this is the 20th (no joke, count em) LP by an 80s metal band that used to be pretty good at first but hasnt been good in at least 33 years.



i mean
19Cybotron (AUS)
Cybotron


this round goes to cyclotron
20Queen
Queen & Paul Rodgers: Return Of The Champions


conglaturation cybotron i mean cyclotron you win narrowly 3 to 2 may your reign be merciful and your harvest bountiful
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