JohnnyoftheWell
ok next time mort you can try to review an 80s portuguese prog folk maritime concept album where half the tracks are sea shanties bozo
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Album Edits 541

Album Ratings 3452
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Last Active 01-01-70 12:00 am
Joined 01-01-70

Review Comments 51,328

 Lists
03.29.23 TAG mathcore (vote shibuya kei) ♦03.19.23 (free hugs) ♦
03.07.23 #1 S.P.U.T. personality test ♦02.28.23 MARCH of １９６０s (REC me) ♦
02.20.23 got catfished by a train #AMA02.11.23 For Tundra: How To Consume Metalcore
01.31.23 FEBRUARY of g l // t c チ (REC ME) ♦01.25.23 4.2s ranked ♦
01.13.23 tag NOISE ♦01.08.23 JANUARY of a m b i e n ト (REC ME) ♦
01.08.23 DISCOGS i will consume 今年12.30.22 2022_well: YES 1 0 0 % ||ぼest あlbum ♦
12.28.22 2022_well: >NO< ||albums|| ♦12.16.22 JOTW's 5s = REFURBISHXD ♦
12.08.22 CRINGE index: BNM 2022 ♦11.29.22 DON'T TAKE RISKS: destroy now
11.06.22 Staff AOTY 2022: BREAKING SPUTNIK ♦11.02.22 SputRoyale: WINNER 2022 ♦
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#1 S.P.U.T. personality test

This is the realest shit since sliced bread
1Lydia
Illuminate

After decades of philosophical and anthropological perusal, scientists have finally cracked the code and devised the perfect personality-allocation mapping for users of the online music website sputnikmusic.com. Personalities can be assigned as follows

S = SIGHTSEER
P = PEDESTRIAN
U = UNIQUE
T = TRASH

To take the personality test, please simply leave a comment of any nature whatsoever, and our experts will comb through all your available data AND FINANCES and assign you as appropriate. Let's go.
2Faith No More
Angel Dust

SIGHTSEER

You are both friend and stranger to all genres, forever on the hunt for new things of literally all shapes and sizes. Your quest is ongoing, without end and, the further you look, potentially lacking in identity. You most likely have a bit of an edge - definitely enough to navigate around, but not quite enough to override the sense that you’re forever striving for a shaper one. You pride yourself on your taste, but struggle to put into words exactly what this constitutes. You are maybe exciting and certainly unpredictable, fun at parties but more likely to be requesting obscure songs than entrusted to build dat playlist from the ground up.
3Cornelius
69/96

Active SIGHTSEERS:

Ryus, Sinternet, GhandhiLion, Sharenge, brainmelter, tectactoe, z00sh, robertsona, DadKungFu, MiloRuggles, pizzamachine, silentpotato, Sniff, Slex, Kompys2000, Zig, MillionDead, ignika, PumpBoffBag
4Queens of the Stone Age
Songs for the Deaf

PEDESTRIAN

You are an endearing music hobbyist and are exactly where you need to be right now. You neither have nor need a serious edge, but you do have a comfort zone. The further you strive to broaden your taste, the more you confirm this. You are adjusted and easy to like. It is cruel to reduce your takes to a law of averages, but they are predictable enough that it’s often easier to think that way - most online music sites are on your side as such, but you are unlikely to be a prominent mouthpiece for anything in particular. You make everyone else look a little better, and they genuinely do love you a little bit for it. Is this enough for you?
5Kanye West
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Active PEDESTRIANS:

SteakByrnes, Purpl3Spartan, Dewinged, Conmaniac, theBoneyKing, onionbubs, Zac124, Relinquished, FadedSun, Jash, mrdogthrow, Gnocchi, Emim, porcupinetheater, neekafat, DavidYowi, combustion07, Ectier, unclereich, deathofasalesman, tyman128, fogza, someone, Pangea, dedex, DoofDoof, Pheromone, Manatea, Artuma, Demon of the Fall, IsisScript80, Icebloom, kalkwiese, botb, AsleepInTheBack, DocSportello, Flugmorph, rockarollacola, ashcrash9, pjquinones747, WatchItExplode, Sowing, AmericanFlagAsh
6Oval
94 Diskont

UNIQUE

You are you. You have an edge you are true to yourself you are unmistakable in what you’re about. You are weird. Other people may brush against the essence of your taste with varying frequency, but few if any people embody it with the grace (or pungency) that you do. You have your boundaries, and they are respected; you largely stick to what you know, in many cases your stubbornness/authenticity is a means for the rest of us to orientate ourselves. You must continue.
7Dream Dolphin
Atmospheric Healing

Active UNIQUE'uns:

Drifter, Hyperion1001, ArsMoriendi, rabidfish, sixdegrees, alamo, Lordepots, Avagantamos, Trifolium, Cimnele, garas
8Bring Me The Horizon
That's The Spirit

TRASH

You are… still here. Eww. You offer little, take much and grow hardly at all. You get the wrong end of things that few people get the wrong end of. You do this consistently enough and in so many ways that it is sometimes hard to blame any specific formative influence or visible component of your taste. You are full of you-problems. You may, as a last resort, resort to a desperate art of contrarianism that inevitably backfires and leaves you ill-equipped to join the PEDESTRIANs that might otherwise have been the natural resolution to your arc. Your greatest contribution is the jolt of pleasant surprise that supersedes even the most incisive of your rare good takes.
9The Veils
Total Depravity

Active TRASH:

jotW, Mort[imus prime]., Havey, bellovddd, Colton, ToSmokMuzyki, chemicalmarriage, Storm In A Teacup, JoyfulPlatypus, JesperL, Tundra, mkmusic1995, Vinnymcscoop, Egarran
10Apator
Apator's Stiff Cock Points At The Heavenly Sky

Dissentient TRASH:

budgie
11Oxbow
An Evil Heat

N[ik] is for NISEMONO which means FAKE

You are fake

and probably evil.
12Stereolab
Transient Random-Noise Bursts with Announcements

FAKE:

asanisimasa, ajcollins15
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