JohnnyoftheWell
Hugh G. Puddles
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Last Active 01-01-70 12:00 am
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Paramore ranked

Shades on burn books out we're doing this. I am drunk on a train home and this is the only environment in which this list should ever be made. Band is good if alone, fun in company and great if karaoke. Discuss hasbeens
6Paramore
This Is Why

Yikes okay it is here, who wants to hear the most unremarkable pop rock songwriting in the Paramore canon (genuinely shocking after the respective FUN and tightness in the top two spots here) over a lead balloon of a g-g--g-GOTCHA vocal flop? Hayley has never been a good lyricist, but it's just depressing to hear her attempt and botch this kind of kneejerk social commentary this badly at this point in their career. Shit is proper late-teens tier cringe and somehow sounds drastically less mature than the debut record she did make in that position?

Up until now one of my favourite things about Paramore was that all their records were in the tidy 3.0 - 3.6 margin and that ranking them felt neither intuitive or particularly consequential, but this? This shits the bed so heavily that there's now a very much unwanted centre of gravity to that metric. Yuck.
5Paramore
Riot!

This is a filthy singles album and blew them up in fine form as such. That is it. Miz Biz and That's What She Said far overshadow everything else here and real life grotty fans will talk about deep cuts (the bookends) while spurning the debut and it makes me feckin laff. At one point I owned two copies of this. Any takers? Next
4Paramore
Brand New Eyes

The reason this lands this far is that it's far more consistent than Riot with better singles (make no mistake, this is still v much a singles album) and fewer outright forgettables. The reason it absolutely will not go higher is that the lyricism and angsty us vs. the world angst stew that seeps through each and everyone of these fauxhipster emo pop punk tween salves literally buries itself in its own B.O.. I remember reading a Kerrang article where Hayley Williams shared her preference for men's cologne. This album could have done with a few bottles more thanx and bye
3Paramore
All We Know Is Falling

The best pop punk Paramore because it's the dumbest and most adorable. None of the hits sound like they were custom crafted as hits, and the deep cuts actually do cut deep. Here We Go Again! Instant accidental top 10 alltime glory? Woah? Practically the only syllable and sentiment you should ever have turned to this band for in the first place. Lovely stuff.
2Paramore
After Laughter

At this point, Paramore are operating on the level of an accomplished good band who can play whatever the shit they want, and their tootyfruity retropop bangers do actually kinda v much cut it. Mostly. What happens in the final third of this record? I am unavailable for comment, but some cameo dude in a vegan bin will field those questions. Solid album, but as highlight-centric as ever
1Paramore
Paramore

Hahahahaha, so full disclosure I had no idea what would take the #1 slot when I booted this list up, but this s/t ticks all the boxes! It does everything! Often not very well, but! The stumbles are glorious and sometimes hilariously awful as opposed to gratingly mediocre (Now, Future - this band cannot do time!?? alas). The highlights are many, for there are many songs. I think my bugbear for every album on this list is that they sound at once overly curated and overly patchy, and this one circumvents this by way of being a ginormous fucking mess. LOVE that boldness. Enjoy many of the songs also
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