JohnnyoftheWell
giving 4 reviews to albums only 3 people in the world have heard
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Last Active 11-26-21 3:54 pm
Joined 05-29-11

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 Lists
11.23.21 Save the 2021 Staff list 11.11.21 Radiohead・Stereolab [deathmatch]
11.02.21 >>>>buying gf 10.24.21 All Kayo Dot trax ranked 2021
10.19.21 Cringe index: Best New Music 09.29.21 SPUT ROYALE: FINAL (results)
09.27.21 SPUT ROYALE: FINAL09.23.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 6 (½ final)
09.20.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 5 (¼ final)09.19.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 4B (playoff)
09.17.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 4A09.16.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 3 Group B
09.14.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 3 Group A09.12.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 2 Group B
09.09.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 2 Group A09.07.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group D
09.05.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group C09.02.21 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group B
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Cringe index: Best New Music

Hello this is a roundup of 2021 Best New Music so far. Position #1 is embarrassing. Position #65 is not. An album becomes BNM when it has 3 or more staff/emeritus ratings with an avg of around 4. Do the math !!
65Otay:onii
Ming Ming


Accessible pleb filter of the year
64Ulver
Hexahedron


Gains points for good music, gains more points because it's a live album and no-one on Sputnik listens to live albums, gains even more because no-one who did listen can tell it's a live album, loses one point because too many staffers rated it.
63Iosonouncane
IRA


There's only one point in every year where Sowing 5revs a total zinger and yes it is very great
62Tropical Fuck Storm
Deep States


The minor embarassment of the word FUCK is mostly made up for by the irony of this site's BNM housing an album about angry NEETs being exploited by unseen forces
61Injury Reserve
By The Time I Get To Phoenix


Genuinely innovative // was saved about 40 places on this list by not hitting BNM while luci's review still held the flag.
60Indigo De Souza
Any Shape You Take


Rare record that brought sput staff's entire softboi indie pop cohort together for largely flattering reasons
59King Woman
Celestial Blues


I forgot to check this one, but Dewi's avi alone vindicates its inclusion
58Papangu
Holoceno


Still no idea what the fuck this is, but I am so glad it graced this list.
57Drinking Boys And Girls Choir
Marriage License


Good but on this awful American site the band name scans as a child exploitation ring
56Nick Cave and Warren Ellis
Carnage


Too many people in the real world already knew this was a great record for Sput BNM to have real business with it
55Sleigh Bells
Texis


doof likes this otherwise good to see
54Genesis Owusu
Smiling with No Teeth


Milo put this here abide it
53Lost Horizons
In Quiet Moments


Double albums making BNM is never embarassing
52Wolves in the Throne Room
Primordial Arcana


gamers rejoice yh. lame title alas.
51Trophy Scars
Astral Pariah


Trophy Scars and Sput have too much sexual tension for this to be any lower
50Japanese Breakfast
Jubilee


See: Indigo de Souza, except this is more embarassing because more people on RYM liked it
49Hiatus Kaiyote
Mood Valiant


This is the equivalent of a prog band wanksweating over a million notez within a single song except it's an album and Hiatus Koyote are adult songwriters who use chordz, *actually*
48o'summer vacation
Wicked Heart


See: [Dale Kerrigan] but Dewi
47Lightning Bug
A Color of the Sky


Summer is over
46Psychedelic Porn Crumpets
Shyga! The Sunlight Mound


Album's a banger // band name banged ur mum
45Cult of Luna
The Raging River


Too deja vu to truly belong here maybe
44Darkside
Spiral


passable good new music ?
43Wolf Alice
Blue Weekend


Second hand embarrasment from every lame publication that fawned over this
42Low
Hey What


Whiff of 「appreciate but don't get it」 from 50% of everyone who rated this
41Laura Stevenson
Laura Stevenson


sorry Laura ur not a cliche sput is a cliche
40Dale Kerrigan
Noise Bitch


Album is fire but its inclusion is a little embarassing because we all simp too hard whenever Wines rocks up a month late with his party shoes ON.
39Sweet Trip
A Tiny House, In Secret Speeches, Polar Equals


I fucking love the internet
38Dvne
Etemen Ænka


Big dick elephant metal with big riffs, but also quite good ok
37Ad Nauseam
Imperative Imperceptible Impulse


credit where it's due, Jac metal is less listenable and therefore less bad than [most] other metal
36The Antlers
Green to Gold


who could being themselves to be embarassed by this (i remember NOTHING)
35Mare Cognitum
Solar Paroxysm


progressive metal. but maybe it doesn't suck
34Leon III
Antlers in Velvet


This album smoked all the weed that Kacey Musgraves imported into the progressive incestbarn world of COUNTRY MUSIC. Ranked accordingly
33Devil Sold His Soul
Loss


maybe i should hear this actually
32Portal
Avow


[garas] The car’s tape player wrecked your Ulcerate demo cassette: the album.
31James McMurtry
The Horses and the Hounds


Who is this man who put him here
30The World Is a Beautiful Place...
Illusory Walls


emo memo
29Floating Points, Pharoah Sanders & The LSO
Promises


Man farts in elevator, two chords ring out, ratings rise etcetc.. A modern classic, probably.
28Kauan
Ice Fleet


Dull as dishwater atmospheres that only got on this list by virtue of being tenuously metal. Cringe.
27Squid
Bright Green Field


[garas] It could have been a chill-out indie album, but the cephalopod-named weirdos just constantly irritate the listener all the way through.

[jotw] fuck indie music
26King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard
L. W.


Every time this band drops another collection of shrapnel vocal-guitar unisons within a week of their last, I feel a little embarassed for them. Same old...
25The Raging Nathans
Waste My Heart


Fake news at its most offensive, science dictates that a band called the Raging Nathans could never exist in our timeline.
24Lucy Dacus
Home Video


"rOh yeah i would totally be listening to her if she wasn't in Boygenius" the apology-shit that counts as hype these days
23Julien Baker
Little Oblivions


it was a long pandemic i ate all my weed brownies and learned to play the drums why am i not happy yet
22Ophidian I
Desolate


These albums
21Cryptosis
Bionic Swarm


are all exactly
20Blindfolded and Led to the Woods
Nightmare Withdrawals


the same.
19Musk Ox
Inheritance


[garas:]

Tenhi: I made this.

Musk Ox: *I* made this!
18Lord Huron
Long Lost


Drippy bollocks fedoracore for saps whose wildest imaginations of decent songwriting will die with Bob Dylan
17Qrixkuor
Poison Palinopsia


reeks of bad alien porno
16The Killers
Pressure Machine


There is a time and place for trumpeting that the Killers' second return to form in two years doesn't suck, but BNM ain't it
15Coldplay
Music of the Spheres


Mandatory top 15 pick but I won't meme it any further because we chose to put it here ironically and it's the wrong decade for self-harm jokes.
14Manchester Orchestra
The Million Masks of God


2nd most realistic imagine dragons album oty
13Cerebral Rot
Excretion Of Mortality


sputmetal eat their own shit confirmed
12Big Red Machine
How Long Do You Think It's Gonna Last?


two indie crusties and a giant ambulance full of dildos
11Hayley Williams
FLOWERS for VASES / descansos


too forgettable to be truly embarassing, but scored the rather unfortunate placement of first BNM of 2021 and earns vast compount cringetrest in return.
10Spiritbox
Eternal Blue


Junz pop bangers for those who don't bang
9Black Midi
Cavalcade


Redeeming Zakalwe Part. 1: Giant Artschool Condom
8Adjy
The Idyll Opus (I-VI)


CORN CORN CORN CORN CORN is the most timeless of ill-timed staged for two bodies young to twine their train of limbs around a fate not yet limpid in cosmic yearning what will tell CORN CORN CORN CORN
7Turnstile
Glow On


pretending to have fun listening to yesterday's bangers on sputnikmusic: the album
6Olivia Rodrigo
SOUR


Given that there are no zoomers in Sput staff to begin with, there is no way whatsoever to put a flattering spin on this
5Deafheaven
Infinite Granite


perfectly timed reminder that literally 3-4 people on this godforsaken site have opinions on shoegaze that aren't utter garbage

garas: Even if Ordinary Boring Shoegaze Wank seemed as a very weak release, it was quite surprising to witness that Deafheaven managed to make us facepalming ever harder from Infinite Granite. 2021’s most overhyped (post-rock) release is a shamefully boring and generic creation which is most generously a forgettable experience. It was truly a great mass of color: a blank blue wall.
4Trivium
In the Court of the Dragon


Most metal lyricists cannot write lyrics they should also not write fanfiction or album titles at all really
3Hail the Sun
New Age Filth


One-album case study for the maybe underrepresented argument that Circa Survive did as much to reduce post-hardcore to irrelevant whingebilge as waning memestars Dance Gavin Dance
2Porter Robinson
Nurture


ngl in moments of weakness i've had my life affirmed by the unlikeliest of sources, and i'm thanking my stars rn that none of them were as trite or sappy as this post-edgekid malldraping kack
1Krallice
Demonic Wealth


probably the only thing worse than sput's metal poptimism is its insistence that this kind of debilitating pissvapour somehow qualifies as actual music. deep fucking shame up on you all.
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