Detective Ars

Reviews 35
Approval 91%

Soundoffs 96
News Articles 14
Band Edits + Tags 1,619
Album Edits 182

Album Ratings 994
Objectivity 75%

Last Active 12-06-21 4:17 pm
Joined 08-22-13

Forum Posts 174
Review Comments 35,659

12.04.21 I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat 12.01.21 Song of the Day: December 2021
11.16.21 All of my Soul/Funk/R&B 5s and 4.5s Exc10.29.21 Reefa Inspired: Ars Top 25 Zappa
10.14.21 Ryus Made Me Hear These and Wanted a Li10.03.21 Umbrella 2021 Results: Closing a Third
09.26.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 12: 11 Umbr09.19.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 11: The Umb
09.12.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 10: Breezy 09.05.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 9: Routine
09.04.21 Ars Choice Beach Boys Cuts 1966-197108.29.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 8: Prop Umb
08.22.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 7: Handmade08.15.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 6: Stage Um
08.08.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 5: Mute Umb08.05.21 10 Favorite VU Studio Tracks
08.01.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 4: Umbrella07.25.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 3: Umbrella
More »

Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 10: Breezy Umbrella

2 more out and only 7 more still in!
1Jerry Paper
Toon Time Raw!

1.Link a song via YouTube, Spotify, Soundcloud, Bandcamp, DailyMotion, Vimeo... or whatever you like as long as I don't have to download something.

2. The theme this round is Easy Listening. Inoffensive to the ear, milquetoast by design. Smooth jazz, traditional pop, elevator muzak, soft rock. Some modern examples include ambient pop, downtempo, lo-fi hip hop. Grandma might even get bored by these, but they're nice and simple.

3. Aim to impress me with what you pick, since I'm rating these.

4. If I know the song already, I'll tell you to pick something new, otherwise, you're good.

5. I'm going to start each new round every Sunday night (EST,) so if you're late, you're out. My 1-2 least favorite recs will be eliminated each round (1 if we don't get a lot of people and 2 if we do.)

***The winner of the competition can recommend me whatever 2 albums they want and I'll listen to them no matter the album as long as it's not impossible to find and as long as neither exceeds 3 hours.***

Yelle - Je voux te voir”

Blaring bass and catchy percussion. So far, quite fun. She’s French, but I can’t help, but hear a weird English accent in there as well. The song keeps it interesting with this glitchy breakdown. Percussion focused section, nice. A bit overlong, but I have fun hearing it!

3.6/5 ​(Passed to next round)
3Joan Jett and the Blackhearts


Slow beat with meaty bass. I’m not super huge on the rapped vocals. Some light industrial backing now, probably the best thing about this song so far. Only two minutes in and I’m already finding this one pretty boring and basic.


“Forever More”

Soul vocals and a strong synth bass lead. I’m feeling it. This would be good dark room music. I’m getting pretty lost in the rhythm of this one, so I’m assuming it’s great. Good trumpets, but it does brighten the song up, relieving it of that seductiveness it had early on. Now it just sounds like a fun dance jam. Oh damn an organ solo. Okay this song rules. Jazzy, housy, a bit psych maybe with that ogan.

4.4/5 ​(Passed to next round)
A Hundred Days Off

“Two Months Off”

Hardcore beat. Some English lady is talking like she’s announcing the beat. This is some sweating music haha. Slowly getting even more intense, yeah this is good dance music. Ooh cowbell and woodwind-like synths. This song has a lot going on and all of it is in aid of the beat. Wait, a slow twinkly section with more talking? I guess for a midsection cool down since it’s so long. The male vocals kinda add nothing to this song, but they don’t take away anything either. Oh yeah some aggressive cowbell let’s go.

4/5 (+.5 for winning last round) = 4.5/5 (ROUND WINNER! handicap (for others) of +0.5 for the next round)
6Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Kim English
“Nitelife (Masters at Work Nite Remix)”

Long buildup with some light keys. It’s fun for sure.The vocals give me Shara Nelson vibes. The percussion is cool in a “sounds weirdly broken” way. At the three and a half minute mark, I gotta say, while this is fun for sure, it’s not really hitting me as unique or memorable. Drags on a bit too long.

3.3/5 (Passed to next round)
7TSM aka This Soft Machine
On & On / This Place Was Meant For Me

“It's Operational (Avalon Emerson Remix)”

Vocoder and wind sounds, what a way to open. This sounds like sex music for robots, but the beat is cool. The percussion is intense, but everything else sounds like it’s in space land. The gimmick of this is wearing off at about the 3-minute mark. At the 5-minute mark and this needs more variation, I swear the song has hardly changed in minutes despite such an interesting premise. At least change the percussion up like other dance songs do. Ah, the last minute is changing. I guess I had to be patient. There is as much great about this as there is underwhelming.

8Massive Attack

“Girl I Love You”

Strategic picking an artist I have only positive ratings for. Blaring bass rules and oh look there’s Horace Andy. This almost has a rock vibe to it structurally. I don’t think this song would go over well on a dancefloor nearly as much as the previous songs, but it’s still certainly dancy. Good in a trip hop way mostly, but good all the same.

3.7/5 (Passed to next round)
9A.A.L. (Against All Logic)

“Now U Got Me Hooked”

Sounds like tablas. MMMMMMMMMMM vocals and funky bass. This is kinda goofy. This is strangely chill for a dance song. I appreciate the ingenuity of it all, but this doesn’t get me in the mood to dance at all. Not striking me at all for some reason, but the basic elements work.

3.1/5 (Passed to next round)
10Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

“Shack Up”

Funky guitar and bass guitar. First dance song not to be electronic. Great bass line man, fun trumpets, and kinda sparse piano. Forget marriage, let’s fuck. A fade out followed by a return of the main theme, fancy! Apparently this man only has 1 song and this is it. Nice shredding guitar solo; not a particularly dancy element, but the bass keeps it dancy. The solo kind of took over, you probably would’ve done better if you picked the single edit honestly.

3.6/5 (Passed to next round)
Show/Add Comments (31)


Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Site Copyright 2005-2019
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy