CugnoBrasso
If being sexy is a crime, Im under arrest for selling ketamine to 5th graders
User

Reviews 8
Approval 96%

Soundoffs 87
News Articles 14
Band Edits + Tags 147
Album Edits 135

Album Ratings 1213
Objectivity 87%

Last Active 12-05-20 9:13 pm
Joined 12-18-16

Review Comments 3,491

 Lists
04.10.25 Using penis as a verb: my experience02.25.25 I'm hyped and I must share it
02.20.25 I'm creating a board game.12.15.24 The 2024 WTF awards
11.17.24 Alternatives to sputnik? Albumoftheyear10.30.24 I wrote 15 orgasmic songs this morning
10.05.24 Wokeness has gone too far09.13.24 Where is Kompys2000?
08.31.24 New Ménage à un music08.03.24 Going to see The Converge tonight
07.22.24 10th sputversary list05.28.24 Bands I've seen (pt. 2)
03.20.24 Yo what's up autistics02.13.24 Should I buy a PS5
12.23.23 Hoping 4 a better christmas09.08.23 Best e-mail I've ever received?
09.02.23 To check out eventually06.30.23 Sputnik country census
More »

How I lost my virginity

I've been accused of being an alt, and I can accept that. I've been accused of being an SJW, and I can accept that. Then I was accused of being a virgin, and I completely lost my shit. There are borders that you just can't cross, here's the full story of how I lost my penile virginity. List is digs.
1baustelle
Fantasma

Hannover, 1947. The Axis Powers were gone, Hitler and Mussolini were dead, and most of the SS officers were already in Argentina. Gustav Eisenarsch, who used to run a small DIY concentration camp, managed to hide in a small town in West Germany close to the border with Denmark. I received a Skype call from him in the middle of a pyrotechnic fapping session. He told me to board on a plane to Tokyo. I was confused, but I packed my shit and left my home.
2imperial triumphant
Alphaville

I arrived in Tokyo. The city was in a pretty bad shape after the war, and I wasn't really into that creepy weeb shit, but who am I to question Lieutenant Eisenarsch? And indeed, emperor Hirohito was waiting for me at the airport. He told me "hello", I told him "you are my Hiro" and he slapped me for my awful pun, then he explained his plan to me.
3gorguts
Colored Sands

He thought that the Iron Curtain was a success in Europe: with the commies out of the way, the fascist empire of the Axis still had a chance! He asked me to go to South America to create something similar with the help of the former nazi soldiers who were already in Argentina.
4the cumshots
A Life Less Necessary

The Quechua course I took on Duolingo was enough to indoctrinate the local population, and I convinced them that they were the chosen ones and that their race had to remain pure. Their hostility against the European settlers grew even stronger. It was then that I realised that I looked exactly like a European settler (whoopsie lol) and I ran away as fast as my hybrid Segway could go.
5Steve Reich
Music for 18 Musicians

I reached the Colombian hinterland, and I must say that the Amazon rainforest was way better back then. I parked my vehicle near a waterfall and I built a house.
Then I found a giant frog and I fucked it lmao
6The Microphones
Microphones in 2020

What's your favorite 2020 album with an agerage rating below 3.9?
Show/Add Comments (30)

STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Site Copyright 2005-2023 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy