If being sexy is a crime, Im under arrest for selling ketamine to 5th graders

Reviews 4
Approval 100%

Soundoffs 50
News Articles 5
Band Edits + Tags 35
Album Edits 69

Album Ratings 916
Objectivity 89%

Last Active 12-05-20 9:13 pm
Joined 12-18-16

Forum Posts 2
Review Comments 1,112

12.25.20 How I lost my virginity06.28.20 Baroness = Paper Mario
03.19.20 Ranking finger names01.01.20 I just failed no nut 2020 πŸ˜’πŸ’¦πŸ‘Ž
10.18.19 Top 5 anime betrayals08.16.19 RIP Kary Mullis
08.13.19 Wishlist07.03.19 New avatar + Seeing King Crimson
01.18.19 Bands I've seen10.18.18 My favorite metalcore bands! ;)
09.28.18 Converge & Brand New ranked05.20.18 The true biography of Albert Einstein
04.29.18 Trail of Dead ranked (3dgy)04.09.18 O shit she has a BF :(
01.22.18 Top 1 bands whose name describes sputni01.02.18 Some relatively unknown recs
12.15.17 Vinyl collection09.22.17 Albums for grieving

How I lost my virginity

I've been accused of being an alt, and I can accept that. I've been accused of being an SJW, and I can accept that. Then I was accused of being a virgin, and I completely lost my shit. There are borders that you just can't cross, here's the full story of how I lost my penile virginity. List is digs.

Hannover, 1947. The Axis Powers were gone, Hitler and Mussolini were dead, and most of the SS officers were already in Argentina. Gustav Eisenarsch, who used to run a small DIY concentration camp, managed to hide in a small town in West Germany close to the border with Denmark. I received a Skype call from him in the middle of a pyrotechnic fapping session. He told me to board on a plane to Tokyo. I was confused, but I packed my shit and left my home.
2imperial triumphant

I arrived in Tokyo. The city was in a pretty bad shape after the war, and I wasn't really into that creepy weeb shit, but who am I to question Lieutenant Eisenarsch? And indeed, emperor Hirohito was waiting for me at the airport. He told me "hello", I told him "you are my Hiro" and he slapped me for my awful pun, then he explained his plan to me.
Colored Sands

He thought that the Iron Curtain was a success in Europe: with the commies out of the way, the fascist empire of the Axis still had a chance! He asked me to go to South America to create something similar with the help of the former nazi soldiers who were already in Argentina.
4the cumshots
A Life Less Necessary

The Quechua course I took on Duolingo was enough to indoctrinate the local population, and I convinced them that they were the chosen ones and that their race had to remain pure. Their hostility against the European settlers grew even stronger. It was then that I realised that I looked exactly like a European settler (whoopsie lol) and I ran away as fast as my hybrid Segway could go.
5Steve Reich
Music for 18 Musicians

I reached the Colombian hinterland, and I must say that the Amazon rainforest was way better back then. I parked my vehicle near a waterfall and I built a house.
Then I found a giant frog and I fucked it lmao
6The Microphones
Microphones in 2020

What's your favorite 2020 album with an agerage rating below 3.9?
Show/Add Comments (31)


Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Site Copyright 2005-2019
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy