JohnnyoftheWell
Johnny[Well]
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Album Edits 312

Album Ratings 1960
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Last Active 10-24-20 8:28 am
Joined 05-29-11

Forum Posts 147
Review Comments 29,314

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10.19.20 Disintegration RANKED (with PICTURES)10.12.20 road to 2000_wells
10.11.20 SPUT ROYALE: FINAL (RESULTS!)10.04.20 SPUT ROYALE: FINAL (CLOSED !)
09.29.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 6 (Semi Final)09.27.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 5 (Quarter Final)
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09.22.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 3 Group B09.17.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 3 Group A
09.15.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 2 Group B09.13.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 2 Group A
09.10.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group E09.09.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group D
09.07.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group C09.05.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group B
09.03.20 SPUT ROYALE: Round 1 Group A08.27.20 Modest Mouse vs. Flaming Lips
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user spotlight: Lord(e)Po)))ts

Time for a mid-August look into the Sputnik community! Up this time is Lord(e)Po)))ts, a user who's been making some big waves lately. Some say too many waves, some say just enough, some may not have noticed (lol jk). The guy can be very rude sometimes and uses words which clearly transgress the site's tightly maintained code of ethics, but also he has rated many albums I will never hear - what do we do about that? Let's decide in this comfy comment thread!
1The Knife
Shaking the Habitual


formerly known as silentpotato. still known as silentpotato tbh. the sputwiki page says his name is a joke and ig he is known for telling jokes so full marks to detective bigglestein. also known as potsy for reasons that have nothing to do with his other two names

https://sputnikmusic.fandom.com/wiki/Lord(e)Po)))ts
2Hammock
Departure Songs


he caused budgie to take flight from the eaves of sputnik by comparing his affection for vacuum cleaner reverb music to soft toilet paper one time (100 times) too many
3Amon Tobin
Bricolage


loves this album a lot even though it's way overlong lol beta move
4Einsturzende Neubauten
Halber Mensch


loves and appreciates the sion sono psych-surreal-horror-pseudofeminism flick Tag (Real Onigokko) and made a joke about the (austrian/japanese) lead being a half japanese girl in a bus full of half japanese girls (they suffer from abrupt loss of torso from the waist up)
what an arsehole
5Grimes
Art Angels


notable also for this review of the grimes album art angels, posted in a news thread in response to some stupid shit ghostbird said

WHY ART ANGELS IS EDGY AF: A STEAMY RANT

WELL FIRST THE FUCK OF ALL - aesthetics. Look at the goddamn cover, read the title, watch the vids and you might get a clue about the aesthetic of this quintessential edge-lord fucking pop bastardization. The title alone leaves a preposterous, pretentious, art school fucking drop-out taste in the mouth. What do we get out of the art and the videos? Ok it's fucking inspired by a bunch of mouth-breathing weeb-ass tropes like DeviantArt shitty amateur manga, literally every fucking picture is crying fucking blood. Counter-culture waifu pillow-fuckery off to a good start. Kill v Maim. Remember the part where she tries to death growl YOU DONT KNOW ME? yeah i wish i didn't either. Awesome. Music video? a bunch of culturally appropriating cyber-goth cosplay dweebs in neo-tokyo? blood orgy?
6Grimes
Art Angels


oh she's licking blood off another chicks face. yeah cool deffs not edgy at all. Oh yeah fucking Dark Souls references? Totally just normal not edgy basic vanilla bitch shit here. the song is fucking called kill v maim. ok cool flesh without blood video awesome another stabby angel covered in blood. whole video is just bloody cosplay. At least with REALiTi she kinda goes back to the cutesie socially retarded girl who eats alone at lunch in the bathroom and can't dance worth shit vibe. We could also do a track by track. each song has its own artwork and boy would it be fun to highlight all the cigarettes and blood and angsty ass lyrics she stutters through but fuck that you already have all the songs memorized. Sonically? sick dungeon synth outro to the intro. Music itself? every single pop culture queue the album takes is from eras of pop past. you know but also plus nu metal guitar chugs in the background every once in a while that sound like they were something you made with the
7Grimes
Art Angels


music maker on that mycoke habbo hotel shit. vapid, intentionally thin, shitty outdated production check. DDR inspired nauseatingly neon jams check. Hipster? BIG FUCKING CHECK. Literally everything about the album tries so painfully hard to be ~esoteric~ and reminiscent of either aspects of pop that are dead as fuck or of weeb ass fanfic pillow-fucker culture, the chick might as well start identifying as a korean school-girl. its fucking edgy bro.
8Plaid
Not for Threes


This is the one review I wrote and then requested he read. He will never read it, but I am glad of this because I use the paragraph headings as a way to remember my bank pin when I forget it lol
9Ametsub
Linear Cryptics


rec'd me this album and it is very great
10Cibo Matto
Viva! La Woman


also rec'd me this album and it is pretty good
11Lamb
Lamb


on average i would rate him a 3.7 but removing personal biases this probably evens out as a 3.8
12Everything But the Girl
Temperamental


oh yeah he also made a sputnik tier list that multiple people commented on maybe some of you are still talking about that?
(i'm tier not-sure, one of the low ones i think but this is okay because i am in no way bitter)
13The Microphones
Microphones in 2020


idk it's not that deep
14Radiohead
The King of Limbs


has opinions about radiohead:
1) they have only released 5s and 1s
a) AMSP is an exception to this and is a 3, despite HTTT being a 5 despite exhibiting all the same flaws to an even worse degree (rekt)
2) fuck, turns out he updated his radiohead ratings sometime in the last few months and has betrayed 1) what a coward
3) TKOL is the best bleepbleep yes I said the best
15The Chicks
Gaslighter


Album Rating: 5.0
Fuck it lol I'm slapping a 5 on this
This is the best country album since Golden
Hour
Digging: The Chicks - Gaslighter

(he didn't actually say this (it was slex!) but he understands the power of c i t a t i o n, a valuable tool on the internet and also real life)
16Tentenko
All You Need Is Cat


is a massive cat person. based
17Bitch Magnet
Umber


"Pots you are probably #1 on my list of people who will probably strangle a prostitute in their lifetime." - ZippaThaRippa
10.18.16
18Frank Zappa
Hot Rats


"So Pots is some sort of Turbovirgin that has long since ascended into some sort of a notorious shit-lord on an obscure music site. Well, I guess it makes living life a little bit more sufferable for him so in some way I can get behind you enabling him."
ReefaJones
08.18.20
19Bjork
Medulla


allergic to all bjork that isn't from her objectively good run. this is because either
1) he has a superiority complex over the Knife and is understandably sick to death over fking morons conflating bjork's voice with karin dreijer's
2) sput does kinda overrate those albums tbh
20Stimming
Alpe Lusia


"I remember being around the site in autumn 2016 and reading Pots roasting people almost in every thread with his rotating umbrella of death avy. Made me chuckle more than once. Joined the site to see if I could get a nice roast too but unfortunately it never happened. His Alpe Lusia review was a fountain of inspiration and truths that still inspire me every day. It also inspired Sniff to copy paste it literally into another review of an album I don't remember. All around swell dude." - Dewinged 07.18.20
21Charli XCX
Charli


claims that he recognises his past self in sinternet, like there's some kinda evolution going on here.

confirmed image of pots' face bodes well for sint: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fb/5f/7b/fb5f7bc981c026c1ecfd54ae0a8aea27.png

"i will **** him in his tight boy **** the he will **** my tight femboy *** and we will be a f****ain of *** and ****ness"
- Sinternet 07/18/20
Show/Add Comments (268)

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