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Last Active 04-16-20 5:00 pm Joined 02-24-16
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| The Legend of Borp
As of the Spring 2017 Melee Power Rankings, Borp and his techless Sheik are ranked 5th in Pittsburgh. As the blood-brother of a TAS maker, it is both unexpected and magical that a man who can't L-cancel still strikes fear into the hearts of many. Here's a documentation of his glorious progression as a man for the people. | 1 | | Cloud Dweller Winter
October 5th, 2013 - Fight Pit II
His debut entrance into statewide competitive singles was... humble. Man's gotta start somewhere. Coming in at second last in 13th place for the pro bracket, Borp would go down with no wins. His first loss would come at the hands of Taki (a man who he'd later come to seek revenge upon in MOAL XV), a local Fox main. He'd then be knocked out of the tournament in the loser's bracket by Falco main, Corkus. Down but not out, Borp would team up with another local, Ary, and they'd take a reasonable 5th place in doubles. This was just the beginning of a beautiful legacy that Borp would carve out in the Pittsburgh scene.
Borp's relentless Jiggly+Pichu mindgames v BeanWolf
https://youtu.be/u9xlJ-_7i18 | 2 | | Verval Wederkeer
April 19th, 2014 - Fight Pitt IV
While you might be inclined to think Borp fell hard in Fight Pitt IV with his 33rd place ranking in singles, the jump in size between the few dozen players at II and the 173 entrants at IV (including the likes of Melee heavyweights Mango, M2K, Duck, and Nintendude) made for quite the impressive performance on his part. Not due to any more wins per se (he unfortunately lost all games this tournament too) but more due to who he played. Bracket starts and Borp gets taken down by Ambix, a Peach main who Borp would go on to humiliate in later years in a way only the Borp can. Set two, Borp is up against the man who'd win the whole tournament; Mango. In both games, Mango is on the verge of 4 stocking Borp but the no tech god sticks to his guns and takes a stock back in the first game and two stocks on FD in the second. Absolutely incredible play from Borp.
Borp v Mango
https://youtu.be/4MKychZ8iuI | 3 | | Mount Shrine Forbidden Temple
August 16th, 2014 - Carroll Fest 5
Borp really came into his own in this tournament. 13th in doubles, 13th in singles, decently large entry list with another feature from Mango. Borp’s first set in singles would pit him against H master J who Borp would promptly defeat with his dashless shenanigans. It is no easy feat going up against a man considered to be a top 3 Samus player globally and Borp’s streak was unfortunately ended at the hands of Duck. I’ll blame it on single elimination pressure though; Duck was quivering in his boots no doubt. | 4 | | Couch Slut Contempt
October 4th-5th, 2014 - The Big House IV
Hooooo boy. 574 singles entrants. 114 doubles teams. The Big House IV was one of the largest Melee tournaments to date featuring names like Mango, Armada, Leffen, M2K, Westballz, Hbox, Wizzy (on the come up!), and more. $5.7k singles prize pool. Phase 2 of pools and Borp takes a stand against Jigglypuff main Hyuga and gets sent to the blastzone. There’s still hope; double elimination is the light at the end of the tunnel. Bye 8 straddles into losers alongside Borp and Borp does what Borp does best; he waves this man goodBye (your fault for reading this far, tbh). A win under his belt is enough for him to go out in a blaze of glory; 1der takes him out in the next set but Borp’s left his mark. TBH IV was known for many incredible stories but Borp won the hearts of the people ultimately. 129th on paper, 1st for the community.
Borp “The Rock” Johnson v Toph
https://youtu.be/tMFG1zEiAKs | 5 | | Antiseen Honour Among Thieves
November 1st-2nd, 2014 - Fight Pitt V
We return to Borp’s hunting grounds; Fight Pitt. Unfortunately I’ve been unable to find a full bracket documenting Borp’s dominance but he earned a 17th spot in singles and 25th in doubles. It could be argued the poor doubles performance was due to questionable partnership, or more specifically, The Question Guy, his, errr, partner. However, while this tournament might have been a tad disappointing both for Borp and the viewers (Hbox taking the tournament win), Borp’s reputation would lead him to something much more meaningful than gold. | 6 | | Abyssal Vacuum MMXVII
April 16th-17th, 2016 - Fight Pitt VI
There’s only one man in Pittsburgh with a reputation as legendary as that of Borp’s. He is simultaneously the most stylish East Coast representative since Scar’s focus shift to commentary, and also the most attractive man Melee will likely ever see. The Luigi alpha, Abate, would not only be making an appearance at Fight Pitt VI, but he would also team with Borp and the two of them would push all the way to 4th in doubles. In losers quarter finals, this unlikely duo would take the win over the Canadian darlings Fork and Trulliam and while it hurts to see the bird of the north take the L, watching Luigi and techless Sheik take the W over Mafia and Stango more than makes up for it. 13th in singles would solidify Borp as an absolute force of nature.
Borp & Abate v Trulliam & Fork
https://youtu.be/AowiX6zCgeg | 7 | | Holy Locust Limbs Appear
June 17th-19th, 2016 - Apex 2016
While lacking in attendance relative to the monumental Apex 2015, Apex 2016 saw Borp defy all odds and take home an impressive 9th place at a 159-man Melee singles tournament. In fact, he didn’t drop a single game until entering top 32, taking 2-0 wins on Odyssey, Suliman, and Lazy, losing a game to G$, and proceeding to destroy Arias and Switch. Many attribute the poor performance of Apex 2016 to poor scheduling (LTC4, DreamHack Summer 2016, and Snosa II sharing the same weekend) but I think if more eyes were on Borp’s delivery, the tournament would have been a considerable success.
Borp disregarding practice v An unsuspecting NEXUS Switch
https://youtu.be/Zc_nevtesZo | 8 | | Scum (FIN) Garden of Shadows
October 7th-9th, 2016 - The Big House 6
2,772 attendants. 27 of the Panda Global Rankings Top 50 players for Smash 4. Four of Melee’s 5 gods. New Zealand’s Spud making a debut appearance in the US scene. This tournament was absolutely massive. Unfortunately the tournament size would prove too much for our boy Borp. His first wave of pools would knock him into losers of the second phase where he’d be bested by Kanye Rest. 257th place. A valiant effort nonetheless from our fair Borp. We did get one beautiful set between Borp and a fellow Sheik main, Spark, however!
Techless v Tech
https://youtu.be/tO2UZwesKMg | 9 | | Cara Dal Forno Fast Moving Cars
April 15th, 2017 - Fight Pitt 7
While the return to home ground after a year wouldn’t hold a candle to the incredible run with Abate at Fight Pitt 6, Borp took a few respectable wins on his way to 25th in Melee singles and an impressive 7th in doubles alongside Peach main and tournament organiser babe, Vincessant. $34 in winnings would add to Borp’s immense stash of Melee Money.
Borp v Wenbo
https://youtu.be/wx-xva316N0 | 10 | | Lakker Tundra
October 6th-8th, 2017 - The Big House 7
Melee singles alone had 1,522 entrants. Hbox, Plup, Leffen, Armada, M2K, Wizzy, S2J, SFAT, the list goes on. As with TBH4, Borp managed to cinch a well-deserved 129th in a considerably bigger tournament (1,522 singles entrants as opposed to 574). Phase 1 of pools. Swift 2-0 over Pilot. Even swifter 2-0 over Porkyz. However, L would prove a struggle, ultimately causing Borp to take the L in a 2-0. Down, but as per usual, not quite out. Phase 2, losers side. Borp takes two more sets; a 2-0 on KishPrime and a 2-1 on Nexic. Jiggly main 42nd would be the end of Borp’s run but 4 sets won in a tournament as big as TBH7 with no tech is no easy feat. | 11 | | Indricothere XI
Borp is proof of fundamentals trumping swagger. He doesn’t need to be flashy to bounce on kids. His ability to make hard reads and maneuver in and out of the minds of the naive is masterful. He might never win a major tournament. He might never achieve stardom. And that is okay because he is Borp and no one can take his place. We all have a little Borp inside us, deep down.
Borp, The No-Techskill God
https://youtu.be/3huKJYL5Hog | |
ramon.
03.08.18 | hail borp | BlushfulHippocrene
03.08.18 | "I'm pretty good at thinking I'm funny" - cryptologous
(I don't know what is happening, but I love this list, and also 9 is super nice.) | MarsKid
03.08.18 | Don't need no techskill |
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