hobblepot: My Suicide Attempt

butcherboy 06.09.17	I'm glad you're airing this out, dude.. talking is important, it helps crystallize things in your own head.. you'll be on an upswing soon enough.. hit me up if you need to talk it out..
verdant 06.09.17	same here. glad to help in any way i can even if i'm just a stranger on the internet. much love dude
Dedes 06.09.17	Man, being depressed always blows. I was close to attempting it a year ago and it occasionally still flashed across my mind. People with strength like you keep me going though bro, people who can make recoveries. Good luck.
MO 06.09.17	"luckily I missed the artery" this is the key, you didn't want to do it and you know you have something to live for and strive towards. just put all your effort towards something constructive. whether it's school, work, a hobby. whatever it takes, keep your mind off the bad and just focus on the good...no matter how hard it seems sometimes all the best dude
Piglet 06.09.17	Trust me dude the relationship dynamic can turn poisonous real quickly with crazy bitches. There can be a lot of resentment, manipulation, victim complexes and blame games. They can just take you for granted, walk all over you, then expect you to come running back. So you just don't. The withdrawal is like a drug because it is. It's just a bullshit drug and you've just got to ride the rollercoaster withdrawal through all those long nights, learn to rebuild and love yourself. Time heals all the other scars. I mean, I'm two weeks from learning that my girlfriend of a year was seeing someone else so I get the emotions completely. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So yeah, I know you know this already, but just to reaffirm, you'll feel a lot better in time and you'll find comfort in interaction with your friends. There's great comfort and freedom to not be dependent on a negative influence. And don't take it personally. Trust me everyone has the same fucking story with these bipolar, schizo girls with a fucked up childhood, they can do evil things in the bubble of a relationship. It's just how it goes. I hope you find comfort in knowing how you feel is perfectly natural and your experience is directly repeatable to any number of guys and girls in innumerable situations.
Demon of the Fall 06.09.17	Yeah the fact you deem it lucky is actually really positive, you know there's still a reason to live. I've been there & also understand the state of mind where your feelings/emotions are super-intense for the same reasons you do. Don't give up, as long as you're willing to fight (which it sounds like you are) things will improve. Apologies if this sounds patronising in any way, I really do understand & that's why I feel it can be said. Like some of the other guys have mentioned, if you need to message someone/ask anything then I'll help however I can.
TwigTW 06.09.17	"Call a friend, call your mum, call your doctor" ... And you can call or text Samaritans Suicide Hotline. They have a toll-free number that is available 24-hours. You can talk about anything, including suicide. You don't have to wait for a crisis. They are always available to talk about anything. Glad to hear you are getting the help you need. Hang in there. Things get better.
guitarded_chuck 06.09.17	what piglet said hard When I went through my last breakup and I was fucking gone in a phase of depression and drug use one thing that helped me break out of it was knowing that I was not alone in going through that and having gone through that. And that people who had gone through usually come out the other side not only okay but stronger than before. It's sounds so cliche and annoying to hear but just think about that and use it A) as motivation B) to feel comfortable reaching out to people because most people of a certain age have also had their heart broken at some point and can relate. The most important part of breaking out of a depression is just making a conscious effort to get your shit done. It takes a kind of effort that outsiders looking in simply cannot understand, but once you take that first step, and take another, then another, eventually the steps get a bit easier. Life is never going to be easy and you will always need to put in effort, but after a slump you need some extra gas to start your engines back up and create some momentum.
EphemeralEternity 06.09.17	I'm glad you survived man, I've had friends in a similar circumstance that didn't. I guess sometimes it takes something as extreme/traumatic as this to help you reassess your life from a more detached/rational perspective - which is what you appear to have done. Remember this (as cliche as it may be): when you rely on people to build you up you give them the power to break you down, so instead of lambasting yourself and finding faults within your character consider all of your qualities/talents that you have to offer that she is missing out on. Well anyway you seem to have adopted the right mindset now, keep looking up and i'm sure you're life will follow suit.
bgillesp 06.09.17	It's great you've got friends and family to help you through this. Good luck with a full recovery. I agree that focusing on something like work or a hobby can be really helpful. Setting goals that will be difficult to reach within those is a great way to keep them interesting to keep your mind off other things.
neekafat 06.09.17	I'm glad you're doing okay man, I'm at a tough place with my girl right now and I don't know what I would o if things went south, but this really helped me emotionally to understand what that's like and thank you so much you. Just thought I should let you know.
ConcubinaryCode 06.09.17	I know it's cliche but services are available if you need someone to talk to and if money is an issue Tons of places are willing to work around that. It doesn't necessarily have to be for mess or anything but talking to professionals and going through all the things your brain wants you to think about but learning to be able to tell your brain to fuck off helps a bit. You're not weak. You're not stupid. You're just feeling what any normal person would after heartbreak and I empathize with what your going through. Learn to forgive yourself for this and keep going forward with your life. I wish you well man.
Joeman82 06.09.17	So thankful you're okay. It's nice to see you release you emotions instead of bottle them up. If there is anything I've learned from my experience is telling a willing person about your emotions is immensely helpful. Think about the positive aspect of your life and yourself and keep in touch with the people who helped you in your time of need. Those are true friends.
avery14th 06.09.17	wow man, happy to read the story and see the support from sput, as they usually give. I couldn't add much more in terms of support to what the discussion has already given, and it sounds like you're doing better now - especially opening up which always helps a lot. but one thing that's been bugging me more and more is how suicide is seen as pathetic/selfish by an increasing number of people. I understand that logically, yes - suicide isn't bettering anyone and is only doing incomprehensible pain to those close to you. However almost nobody attempting suicide is thinking rationally at all, and as far as I've experienced and heard from others, it is an overwhelming feeling that takes over. Which is in a way what you described here. I understand that feeling of losing control of your own body, and it's why I don't understand when people call it pathetic or selfish instead of reaching out to get the help the person needs. It's nice to not see that here yet, although you seemed to prepare for those reactions in your story
hobblepot 06.09.17	Thankyou to all of you for being so compassionate, and for understanding my mindset, a lot of people I know have been quick to point out suicide is a selfish act, which it is, but in that moment, you just want out, and I lost complete control. You're all great, thankyou so much for your words
Spec 06.09.17	Good on you for airing it out here, I've used Sputnik for that a few times and honestly it helps. There's no point saying suicide is selfish since I've tried twice, my left arm is scarred up pretty bad and I use it as a constant reminder of the stupid thing I attempted to do. Keep yourself as busy as possible and I wish you all the best.
Papa Universe 06.09.17	I start to feel like you are secretly Snide...
hobblepot 06.09.17	Thanks spec, I've got permanent nerve damage in my wrist and hand, fingers go numb every now and again, that and the scar that will follow will always be there to remind me I lived. Wish you all the best too man, music is doing me wonders at the moment, if you ever need to vent my shoutbox is open
SquidPunk 06.10.17	As a survivor of three suicide attempts and have been through some truly harsh breakups, I offer my sincerest condolences. I'm glad you're doing better now, I hope everything works out for you man.
AlexKzillion 06.10.17	Hope you turn things around for the better man
hobblepot 06.10.17	Thanks Squid, I feel so dumb for what I did but I wasn't myself, I hope things are brighter from now on thanks Alex, I've been much better later, but this isn't something I can just brush away, but I'll get there :)
henryChinaski 06.10.17	Glad you're able to share your story meaning that you're still here with us and your loved ones. I hope you get better soon! @Piglet your comment is grand.
dbizzles 06.10.17	Don't feel stupid about what you did. You're not alone in your feelings. I don't have much advice for you, but I think you're taking the right steps in the aftermath. There's always a reason to live, my friend. I think you'll keep that closer to your head and heart from here on out. My shoutbox is always open if you need a distraction.
StrikeOfTheBeast 06.11.17	Tragic story man, but I'm happy for you that it didn't end up worse.
Keyblade 06.11.17	glad ur ok man. don't worry about getting it off ur chest here, we gotchu
Slex 06.11.17	My fiance of over 2 years broke up with me and had sex with someone in our bed while I slept on the couch. Tried to hang myself the same night. Just saying yr not alone and I'm here if you ever need to talk dude.
Satellite 06.11.17	i'm glad you were unsuccessful bro. thanks for sharing. never tried to kill myself, but i've dealt with depression for most of my life and i know that feeling of dissociation where it's like you're watching yourself but not in control. i felt that way 24/7 for about a week after i quit my ssri cold turkey a couple months ago. fucked. up.
dbizzles 06.11.17	Fuck, Freddie.
unclereich 06.11.17	Women are horrible
hobblepot 06.11.17	Thankyou everyone for your support, you guys are just the best
ScuroFantasma 06.11.17	Wow man, that's a crazy story. Glad you're doing better now and thinking a bit clearer. No person is worth feeling like this over, friend. I understand that when you're feeling like that logic sorta goes out the window, so I'm glad you're getting professional help and you made the right decision by telling your parents. Take care dude, good luck for the future (:
hobblepot 06.11.17	Thanks Fantasma, yeah my doctor told me its called "derealisation" or something, it's like being a zombie, the primal part of your brain takes over and you can only focus on that one goal. I'm doing much better now, hopefully I'll be back to work soon and life can carry on as normal :)
Thalassic 06.11.17	I once had some kind of epileptic seizure - despite not being an epileptic myself - after taking some drugs. After that I suffered from derealization for about 6 months. I remember that feeling I was having, as if nothing that was happening around me was actually happening. I was stuck in some dreamlike state I couldn't seem to get out. When I woke up in the mornings, I kinda felt "normal", but after some thinking I immediately got stuck in this state of detachment again. Anyway, take care, dude. Things will get better.
ZombieParty 06.11.17	I was suicidal for about 5 years but i stopped drinking alcohol and doing drugs and started taking real medication and its helped me a lot. Also I find it difficult to get a job so I do voluntary work and I get a lot of self worth from it. Life can be really tough when you're down at the bottom but small changes can turn your life around. You'll only go upwards from then to be where you want to be in life and you'll eventually have the things you want. Good luck man I believe you can do it.
Winesburgohio 06.12.17	all love man full support my dude, sorry you're here but also extremely glad you're here if u know what i mean
unclereich 06.12.17	My boy just had his girl dump him after 6 years she just up and left and joined some cult. Women are not to be trusted. Dont get into a relationship until you know youre strong enough to endure the worst result
ScuroFantasma 06.12.17	"Women are horrible" "Women are not to be trusted" I think you're missing the mark.
EphemeralEternity 06.12.17	yeah wow come on that's just as bad as the pathetic slags who take to social media to proclaim how all men are cheating scumbags based on their handful of negative experiences (when they are no doubt the common denominator)
hobblepot 06.12.17	yeah don't let a couple of women ruin your perspective, my best friend is a girl, she's helping me through this, I couldn't do it without her, and I'm helping her get over her ex who did a similar thing. Thankyou for all your kind words guys, it's more appreciated than you'd think :)
Dinosaur 06.12.17	Thank you for this.
hobblepot 06.12.17	"Thank you for this." You gone/going through something similar?
chemicalmarriage 06.12.17	relationships are hard. Mine has ups and downs. I had a friend that had his wife leave him and he ended up getting addicted to heroin and then going to prison. Love can do crazy things to people. Glad you're recovering and hoping the best for you.
Beardog 06.12.17	respect, I hope you'll be getting better. Just know we are here for you!
Dinosaur 06.12.17	Not to this extreme, but I can relate. I've been a problem drinker for years, but was a complete mess for months after I broke with the gal. I've since quit hard booze. I still drink a shit ton of beer, but generally can't drink myself into oblivion on solely beer.
hobblepot 06.12.17	Shit dude, I hope you're doing better now, I know how hard it is to quit something like drinking, I had a drug problem a couple of years back (not one of the nicer ones either) and it took so much to quit, it nearly killed me, in the end all it took was a helping hand, I hope you can find someone to help you, doesn't have to be a professional either, I know finding someone new can give you the strength. I wish you all the best man
hobblepot 06.12.17	shit chemical, I did end up with a drug problem after a breakup a few years ago, but didn't end up in prison. Thankyou for your kind words tho man
Dinosaur 06.12.17	I had a 4 year fight with an eating disorder, which was somewhat replaced with an alcohol problem. I did therapy sessions for awhile years ago, and they helped a lot. I thought I had it "figured out". Reaching out to people is so important. Didn't realize I could take so many steps backward.
bakkermaarten007 06.17.17	I don't know if this has been said already but I can't stress this enough: what your body takes in, directly influences A LOT of your emotions and the way you think. I hardly ever drink anymore. Sometimes a month goes by without me even having thought about it. But it's not just the alcohol: it's also the sugar, the processed foods, the preservatives,... Living healthier has made my mind clear up tremendously. I feel like I'm so much better armed against depression, against crazy people, against basically ... life! And I also know that in a state of heightened anxiety and/or depression, the first thing you think when you hear this is: "fuck it, you don't understand me and if you would, you would know that a glass is your companion in misery" But I do understand you, trust me I do. If you will, look into my very early threads and you'll see I was just like that. We always tend to think- even if we subconsciously know it's not true- that our environment and our actions in life or our genes are the cause of the state we're in. And while that's partly true, you'd be dead wrong to believe that your body and mind will function like you wish (e.i. being happier) if you fuel it with garbage.
bakkermaarten007 06.17.17	Oh, and avoid the crazy chicks. It's all in the eyes: even from the first contact you can tell if they're damaged beyond repair (and will damage you in turn) or one of those unique specimen that will change your life for the better and that make you want to change her life for the better as well. Take care dude! (I just see that this is already quite old, oops sorry)
Snake. 06.17.17	i'm really glad you're okay man i myself have been struggling with a lot and have felt incredibly hopeless recently because i found out the girl i was chasing for the past two years finally hooked up with someone and i started to let anxiety cripple me because i was having these images of her and her new bf flood my head because i grew so attached that i only had the thought of us together and each image without me in it was nothing short of a nightmare but since i was on this independent study program for the last two weeks i didn't have a place for myself to be alone & think about it or even ask for help and i'm not sure what kept me from putting a blade into my fucking wrist tbh but yeah basically what everybody has been saying, you're not alone in this and there's nothing wrong with getting help oh and please don't listen to bakkermongoloid or fourthreich they're only here to further antagonize women
bakkermaarten007 06.19.17	"oh and please don't listen to bakkermongoloid or fourthreich they're only here to further antagonize women" You sorry man. edit: boy
bakkermaarten007 06.19.17	Here's me antagonizing women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr162OZ2Z0w
Jasdevi087 06.19.17	" It's all in the eyes: even from the first contact you can tell if they're damaged beyond repair (and will damage you in turn) or one of those unique specimen that will change your life for the better and that make you want to change her life for the better as well." fuck for the first time in the history of your time on this site you were very nearly helpful and then you had to go finish it off with that hogwash.
bakkermaarten007 06.19.17	Can't let expectations of me get too high.
Jasdevi087 06.19.17	obviously not
50iL 06.19.17	Dude, what a story. Thanks for sharing and good luck in your future.
austin888 08.20.17	I have Asperger's myself. What you said about people like us feeling emotions heavier is 100% true. Several years ago, I was depressed to the point where I was contemplating suicide. I never actually made any attempts though.
Deathconscious 08.20.17	"It's all in the eyes: even from the first contact you can tell if they're damaged beyond repair (and will damage you in turn) or one of those unique specimen that will change your life for the better and that make you want to change her life for the better as well." Lmao i swear bakker lives on 4chan, what a cocknoggin.
parksungjoon 05.18.22	>what I did was selfish and stupid not necessarily tbh, dont let dickfucks who aint ever been there dictate how you should feel
budgie 05.18.22	I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DO THIS PARKS I AM A FUCKING GYPSIE SEER
parksungjoon 05.18.22	as soon as i see ppl sayin that shit im like aight good thanks for letting me know youre a complete idiot that has no clue about anything, u know?
budgie 05.18.22	i honestly have no idea what youre talkin about but ya definitely
parksungjoon 05.18.22	ppl who call it selfish and/or stupid
Purpl3Spartan 05.18.22	Anyone saying that suicide is a selfish act does not understand the pain those people go through every second of their life.
Purpl3Spartan 05.18.22	Also, I was looking at this before I even knew park commented wth
Lord(e)Po)))ts 05.18.22	Damn even I know not to use the g word in 2022, real sub-sentient stuff there budge
Colton 05.18.22	gypsy
GhandhiLion 05.18.22	gyspy woman by tim buckley
Purpl3Spartan 05.18.22	gigachad
notagenius 05.18.22	I don't know what is being discussed here. But life experience has taught me. If you are going to persuade a suicidal person, you have to have a more comprehensive knowledge and intelligence than he/she does. Otherwise it will only make the suicidal person feel more alone and miserable.
Odal 05.18.22	glad you're okay hobble budgie remains one of the dumbest users on this site
Odal 05.18.22	Do you guys honestly have a good time trying kekistan edgelord on a post like this?
Asdfp277 05.18.22	good luck with recovery hobblepot, and don't read the thread!
notagenius 05.18.22	i'm just indirectly throwing words at some other user. i am off hobblepot is a good and posi user. his openness is what removes the pressure and knots from his mind. which should be looked up to. that is my view regarding this thread.
GhandhiLion 05.18.22	My comment was dumb and flippant sorry about that
Purpl3Spartan 05.18.22	Am I the only one who didn’t even know that was a nono word
Colton 05.18.22	i'm indian so i can say it
budgie 05.18.22	tumblr vibes
Supercoolguy64 05.18.22	Why are we bumping a 5 year old thread about a man’s troubles only to repeat what Avery said and then throw around the g worD
Relinquished 05.18.22	cuz context clues are hard capture supercoolguy
Colton 05.18.22	ghandhi edited “gypsy” out of his comment, apologized and then edited it back in lmao
GhandhiLion 05.18.22	shut up colton
budgie 05.18.22	LOL
Snake. 05.18.22	glad i'm being reminded that if there was anybody on this site that should've offed themself it 100% should've been bakkermaarten
combustion07 08.02.22	Been binging old threads lately and am bumping into a few that have been necro'd and that's kinda fun. Hope you're doing good OP. Glad you're livin
hobblepot 08.27.23	I can confirm I am still alive. I didn't notice all these newer comments lol they're already a whole year old
pizzamachine 08.27.23	Good, I’m glad you’re alive