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User
Reviews 22
Approval 81%
Soundoffs 333
News Articles 5
Band Edits + Tags 349
Album Edits 248
Album Ratings 5684
Objectivity 81%
Last Active 03-22-22 12:57 am
Joined 11-04-12
Review Comments 11,384
| Vulnerability EP
A new EP I made although this was very impromptu. This is strongly influenced by all of Sach's non-hip hop recs for me (hence why the Ep/title track is based off of, as well as samples, the album Distributing Vulnerability to The Affective Classes). I wouldn't say this is strictly for the entertainment value but the creating of this has been therapeutic for me. I'd like to just stop it there because of how Sput generally deals with users when they get personal but I think it would be much healthier if I just air everything out | | 1 |  | Casey White and The Blancos
Vulnerability
https://soundcloud.com/christian-beltran-549575937/sets/vulnerability
Bandcamp: https://caseywhiteandtheblancos.bandcamp.com/album/vulnerability | | 2 | | Casey White and The Blancos
Vulnerability
It started when I first started on the title track. I was tinkering around on Audacity with the Distributing Vulnerability album placed in there. Then this thought hit me and I started recording a blast beat on the drums on garageband. I began to layer these two in a vein similar to Projekt Misanthropia. This was the first version of the song and something about it resonated in a hideously deep level with me. Several nights ago was the first time I stayed up at night sobbing and contemplating suicide in many months. The biggest root to my many years of depression is my mother | | 3 | | Casey White and The Blancos
Vulnerability
8th grade was the first time I reached out to someone concerning my issues with her, this person being my principle. Later in the day, she (my principle) phoned my mom wanting to talk to her. My mom didn't pick up her phone and when I got home, she interrogated me why the principle wanted to talk to her the following day about some issues concerning me. I broke down crying trying to answer her and she (literally) dragged me to my room and started hitting me and forced me to go to my principle the next day to convince her that the two of us talked it out and everything is fine | | 4 | | Casey White and The Blancos
Vulnerability
So Sophomore year, my depression became suicidal and I was sent for professional help. The inssurance made it so that the first several weeks (about a month and a half) of therapy were free. My mom hated the fact that I had to go to therapy because she thinks depression is something that can go away overnight. When the month and a half were up she deliberately wanted to be part of our sessions and sabotaged them, starting arguments with the person and twisting her words around to make it seem like the sessions have been ineffective and other bullshit like that (ironically, the both of them had the same first name, albeit with a one letter difference). Thus ended all the help I could get. The rest of my family avoid this topic at all costs, although they too have the same views on depression | | 5 | | Casey White and The Blancos
Vulnerability
I do have friends and I do communicate them when I feel like my emotions are heading to the deep end again, but it's always in text at night and their answers all seem to be the same, although I feel like it's because they can't relate to what I'm mentally going through well. I've been getting better since Sophomore year but I'm still, mentally in a hole. The last high school theater production, not once did my mother say to me "good job" in all the 3 times she went to watch it (she reserved those compliments to everyone else) and forbid me from auditioning for the final production of the year, my mom laughed in my face when I told her some of the colleges I wanted to apply to even though I'm still likely to get into them, saying that she knows that I'm too stupid to get into them and other stuff as of lately. My dad dropped out of college to marry my mom. In the past few years their marriage has been disintegrating and since two summers ago it's just irreparable. | | 6 | | Casey White and The Blancos
Vulnerability
I'll just stop here, I'll keep rambling and I don't think anyone wants to be willing to know the rest of it all. The (numerous) hours recording this EP, despite its obvious short length, has helped me vent what I've been feeling lately in a productive manner rather than a self loathing/destructive one. Hopefully this will be the most personal I'll ever get on this site
All instruments are performed by me, either physically or garageband (actually now that I think of it, only the drums were via grarageband). And Short Story samples a satirical short story I wrote concerning pop culture and consumerism. The acoustic cuts are songs that I've been tossing around; bright has lyrics but I can't sing and I'm not good enough in my guitar skills to play the fast first half of wrist right, let alone adequately layer parts over it | |
TVC15
12.12.16 | Cheers guys. And here's to dreading another Christmas where my parents get into a fight in the driveway of a relative and my mom threatening to divorce my dad for the millionth time with no intention to | Drifter
12.12.16 | Damn this story. That sucks man. Will listen when I can | AlexKzillion
12.12.16 | Holy fuck dude I'm sorry to hear that.
Listening right now, def strikes a chord after reading all of this | 50iL
12.12.16 | I'll jam this for sure man. Best of luck with all the shit you've been going through. | TVC15
12.12.16 | Thank you guys, the support means a lot.
I'm sorry to hear that Toad :( and almost 16 minutes is long? | SandwichBubble
12.12.16 | "my mom laughed in my face when I told her some of the colleges I wanted to apply to"
Do all you can to prove her wrong. keep on keeping on man. | TVC15
12.12.16 | ^Well between my two parents she's the only one who could afford the application process and the deadline has already passed. But that's what I plan once I'm in college | SandwichBubble
12.12.16 | That's the hard part: Being dependent on someone who you don't trust. Can't say either of my parents were like that when I was growing up, but I definitely understand the dilemma.
Hope college goes well btw. You staying on-campus or off? | TVC15
12.12.16 | Kinda depends on the college I decide to go to; some have great on-campus housing, others have better housing off-campus | SandwichBubble
12.12.16 | Wherever you decide, be sure to make friends. Not sayin they have to come over your house and jerk you off or anything, but friends do make the college experience a bit more memorable, in my own experience totally not having anything to do with jerking off no sir~ lol | TVC15
12.12.16 | Nah | FullOfSounds
12.12.16 | Sorry about all this stuff man : ( | TVC15
12.12.16 | It's ok FOS I feeling better now :) | TVC15
12.13.16 | The bandcamp is finally here: https://caseywhiteandtheblancos.bandcamp.com/album/vulnerability | DoofusWainwright
12.13.16 | Sorry to hear all this TVC, hope somehow you manage to enjoy the holidays with your family. Getting out of the home environment for college I think will be exactly what you're hoping for.
The EP isn't as enjoyable to listen to as the Radiohead remixes but like you said, you're just channeling through it. | oltnabrick
12.13.16 | wtf is this tbh | oltnabrick
12.13.16 | this sounds like the dumbass shit meatsalad used to make | TVC15
12.13.16 | Thanks Doof, I'm hoping the same thing
Tbh meatsalad seemed like a chill user | oltnabrick
12.14.16 | i mean yeah but the music was not good
((like purposely but still | TVC15
12.14.16 | ^Thank you for your time anyway :) | danielcardoso
12.23.16 | Only seeing this now, sorry to hear about your situation dude.
Giving this a spin atm. | TVC15
12.23.16 | Thank you again Daniel :) |
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