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| Ars's Guide to the Music of Frank Zappa
Going to see Zappa Plays Zappa perform One Size Fits All tomorrow and to celebrate I ranked Zappa's relevant discography (leaving out most posthumous releases... since they're basically just compilations.) I don't except anyone to agree with this list. Honestly, I'm not sure anyone on here has heard all 47 albums on here sooo I don't know, enjoy! | | 47 |  | Frank Zappa
Trance-Fusion
Over the years Zappa has released a lot of instrumental albums. Most of these albums contained songs that hold a common theme, structure, and unique solos. The exception to this were his instrumental albums that only contained solos, in which there were 3. Trance-Fusion is easily the worst and contains some of Zappa’s most forgettable work. The only reason this even makes the list at all - due to it being a posthumous release - is because Zappa had planned on releasing it before his death, but never had the chance. Unless you’re a completionist, don’t even bother listening to this. 1.8/5.0 | | 46 |  | Frank Zappa
Lumpy Gravy (Capitol Version)
Lumpy Gravy was initially supposed to be a musical college that contained various voices and musical styles that revolved around random humor and in-jokes. While the later version of Lumpy Gravy was exactly that, the Capitol version is merely an tedious classical instrumental album that not only sounds dated for its time, but is barely even recognizable as Zappa. Maybe it would work as a low mixed soundtrack to some halfway decent movie from the 1940s, but that’s about it. 2.0/5.0 | | 45 |  | Frank Zappa
Guitar
Much like Trance-Fusion, this album is completely made up of guitar solos. No structure, no context. What makes this a more valuable album than Trance-Fusion is that the solos have far more personality and you may even be able to recognize which original songs they come from. That being said, there’s no logical reason to listen to this from beginning to end and that the only real use for these songs are to be shuffled in random with at least a thousand other songs by other artists. They’ll come up as a pleasant surprise in a mix, but that’s all they’re good for. Don’t even waste your time trying to remember all of the song titles. 2.1/5.0 | | 44 |  | Frank Zappa
200 Motels
Somehow people actually care about and occasionally even love this album and honestly I can barely see why. It was originally written as the soundtrack for one of the worst “movies” to arise in the 1970s and sounds like the music belongs in the mid-60s or even earlier. Now maybe it could be considered cool that Zappa implements both 60s pop rock and classical music together throughout the album, but on the whole the album is a chore to get through. The jokes outweigh most of musical experience and sadly, most of the jokes are so mild that they’re forgettable. Some quirky themes like “This Town is Sealed in a Tuna Fish Sandwich” movement can be seen as fun, and “Lonesome Cowboy Burt” is hilarious, but all of that is contained within the albums first quarter. After that we’re subjected to tracks like “Janet’s Big Dance Number” and “Dew on the Newts We Got” which both have more interesting titles than the music represented within. Hell, I’d even call it a train wreck 2.1/5.0 | | 43 |  | Frank Zappa
Boulez Conducts Zappa: The Perfect Stranger
It’s bad enough that Zappa’s classical work is for the most part undesirable. What’s worse is that most of the songs on here aren’t even conducted by Zappa! Some French conductor, Pierre Boulez, basically conducts some random Zappa compositions - 3 of which we’ve heard before on actual Zappa albums. It’s bad enough that both the classical community and Zappa fanatics barely care Frank Zappa’s classical work, but now it’s not even conducted by him? Does this album even have an audience? 2.3/5.0 | | 42 |  | Frank Zappa
Francesco Zappa
Frank Zappa decides to cover composer Francisco Zappa’s classical music with an electronic twist. Yet again, is there even an audience for this? It’s not terrible, but it’s also not really all that interesting. 2.5/5.0 | | 41 |  | Frank Zappa
London Symphony Orchestra Vol. II
Another case of “songs already on earlier albums,” but this time the London Symphony Orchestra performs them! Whoopee… why listen to classical composers from the 1800s or Zappa doing jazz fusion when you can hear Zappa’s commonly ignored and uninspired classical efforts performed by the best of the best? 2.5/5.0 | | 40 |  | Frank Zappa
London Symphony Orchestra, Vol. 1
[See 41] 2.5/5.0 | | 39 |  | Frank Zappa
The Yellow Shark
Let me level with you: Zappa’s classical albums aren’t the worst thing ever, but they truly lack of the genius that his rock, jazz fusion, and psychedelic material material flourished in. This is one of the more enjoyable ones, but that’s not saying much… honestly most of his classical albums are basically the same thing over and over. 2.6/5.0 | | 38 |  | Frank Zappa
Civilization, Phaze III
Okay, now to take a short break from his classical music to tackle this monster. Just before his death, Zappa decided to create a another one of his many double albums, this time in the form of synclavier music and old vocals sample outtakes from his 60s material. The album is overlong and really doesn’t develop the theme that the album title promises. Many of the tracks consist of random talking and others sound like outtakes from The Mothers of Prevention and Jazz from Hell. It’s a hard listen and not much of a rewarding one, but it still contains enough laughs and experimental intrigue to come off as at least slightly above average 2.6/5.0 | | 37 |  | Frank Zappa
Orchestral Favorites
Because it’s easily Zappa’s best orchestral album, the title actually seems pretty appropriate First, Its important to mention that this is Zappa’s first primarily orchestral album since the Capitol Version of Lumpy Gravy (although some may want to count the trainwreck 200 Motels.) It’s also important to mention that the 5 tracks found on here are the ones that are often found on his later classical material. It’s flashier, crazier, and probably the only orchestral album of Zappa’s that even attempts to reflect his personality. That being said, it’s still pretty bland and not something worth checking out unless you really need to know how orchestral Zappa sounds. 2.7/5.0 | | 36 | | Frank Zappa
Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar
Remember when I said there were 3 Zappa albums that were primarily solos? Well this is by far the best of the 3.The solos are actually unique and carry themes (such as “Ship Ahoy” having nautical tone and “Variations on the Carlos Santana Secret Chord Progression” showcasing Zappa’s interpretation of Santana’s playing style.) Overall the album still doesn’t have any structure and is insufferably 3 discs long. Though much like the album Guitar, these solos are awesome when they come up in shuffle formats. I’m not sure if Zappa intended for any of these soloing albums to be listened to as a whole, but they are kind of cool if you like jamming. 2.7/5.0 | | 35 |  | Frank Zappa
Does Humor Belong in Music?
The worst of Zappa’s major live albums is still easily passable. Although only 4/10 of the tracks are never before heard compositions, the versions of previously released songs are still up to shape. It’s not even close to being one of Zappa’s most memorable live performances, but for the fanatics this could be considered worth having. Plus the 16 minute epic "Let's Move to Cleveland" is wonderful. 2.9/5.0 | | 34 |  | Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa Meets the Mothers of Prevention
Now it’s time to talk about the worst of Zappa’s albums that are actually good. By primarily functioning as a protest against censorship and serving as a reaction to Zappa’s legal pursuits against the censorship loving Tipper Gore, the album is difficult to hate. It can also be admired for containing many of Zappa’s earlier synclavier compositions. For those of you who don’t already know, the synclavier is an early type of synthesizer developed around 1977. The album also contains rock compositions featuring Zappa’s classic satire. Sadly, it is these rock compositions as well as the 12 minute long clusterfuck “Porn Wars” that hold this album back from being truly great, but it’s sure a fun ride. 3.0/5.0 | | 33 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Burnt Weeny Sandwich
I know I’m going to get some flack for ranking this so low, but honestly only 4/9 of the tracks on this album are all that memorable. It just so happens that one of those 4 is the epic “The Little House I Used to Live In” which ranks as a top 10 best Zappa instrumentals of all time; at least I’d say so. The other memorable tracks consist of 2 cute little doo-wop tracks and the album’s “Theme” which is another jam. The rest of the album just sounds like outtakes and believe it or not… even the good tracks are technically outtakes since this (and it’s sister album Weasels Ripped My Flesh) were both Mothers albums that came out after they had broken up. So, don’t be in any rush to check this out in full, but I assure you that “The Little House” is a must hear for Zappa fans. 3.0/5.0 | | 32 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Cruising with Ruben & the Jets
Speaking of cute little doo-wop songs, Zappa made an entire album of them! 4/13 of the tracks are poppier versions of the doo-wop songs from Freak Out! and they all actually work. Songs like “Cheap Thrills” and “Stuff Up the Cracks” are especially entertaining in a cutesy 50s pop kind of way. There’s nothing particularly outstanding on here, but it’s so consistent that it’s actually admirable. It was Zappa’s first attempt to actually get onto the radio, and sadly it backfired. It also still holds enough of Zappa’s satirical humor to satisfy the average Zappa fan. 3.0/5.0 | | 31 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Just Another Band from L.A.
After The Mothers of Invention broke up Zappa titled his group Zappa & the Mothers despite missing all other founding members. He soon adopted a new band and released 2 studio and 2 live albums with the duo Flo & Eddie. Zappa’s time with Flo & Eddie was a short one, but it was also possibly the most off-track and ridiculous he ever got. This live album was his last album with the duo and honestly… thank God. Sure the skits were really funny, but the instrumentals come off as reduced comedy aide. Not to mention that these two were also members during of the aforementioned trainwreck 200 Motels. Despite all of this, more than half of the album is devoted to the hilarious story “Billy the Mountain” which also happens to be Zappa’s longest non-classical piece so the album is appropriate if you’re just in a mood to laugh your ass off. Let’s just hope that Flo’s voice doesn’t annoy you too much because it can get a little much at times. 3.1/5.0 | | 30 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Fillmore East – June 1971
Oh hey look it’s another Flo & Eddie live album! Basically it’s more of the same as 32, except the skits are slightly funnier and “Lonesome Electric Turkey” is an awesome instrumental. Plus somehow the 5 minute “The Mud Shark” is honestly more entertaining that most of “Billy the Mountain.” It retells that rumor/incident with John Bonham and Vanilla fudge… overall it’s a pretty cool live album, but obviously Zappa has better. 3.1/5.0 | | 29 | | Frank Zappa
Chunga's Revenge
And of course, here’s the other Flo & Eddie studio album. Compared to the other albums Zappa made with them, Chunga is far more focused on complex instrumentals, but honestly, compared to most of Zappa’s albums, it doesn’t really stand out. Sure “Transylvania Boogie” shreds and sure “The Nancy & Mary Music” and thrilling and flashy, but honestly on the whole, this album sounds like your average Zappa rock album with a bit of jazz fusion thrown in. It also doesn’t really have much flow so it could be likened to a compilation. It’d still be a compilation of good songs with some greats sprinkled in, but that’s about it. 3.2/5.0 | | 28 |  | Frank Zappa
Studio Tan
When Zappa’s plan for a quadruple album entitled Läther was rejected by the record company, most of the material from it was spread across 4 albums. One of the albums discussed earlier, Orchestral Favorites, got the classical pieces, Zappa in New York had all of the live pieces, Sleep Dirt received the best of the instrumentals, and Studio Tan got what was ever left over. This means of course that there’s no rhyme or reason, let alone a flow to how the tracks are arranged, this is to a point where the tracklisting on the CD reissue is different than the original vinyl. Although all 4 tracks on the album are great and “The Adventures of Greggery Peccary” serves as a hilarious 20 minute sequel to “Billy the Mountain,” it’s so obviously arranged like a compilation that it’s left being one of Zappa’s least interesting albums.Still, Zappa’s experiment with electronic music on “Lemme Take You to the Beach” is very satisfying, even if it’s implementation is very minor. 3.3/5.0 | | 27 |  | Frank Zappa
The Man from Utopia
This one is a doozy. Most of the album is classic, thought provoking, and filled with cool instrumentals. If that’s the case, why is the rating so low? Well, 3 tracks on here are some of the most awful things that Zappa ever made. “The Dangerous Kitchen,” “The Radio is Broken,” and “The Jazz Discharge Party Hats” contain irritating talk-singing that’s nearly impossible to enjoy. “The Radio is Broken” in specific, grows more irritating upon each listen, despite being wonderful instrumentally. As for the rest of the album, it’d probably some of the best songs 80s Zappa has to offer. Jazz, progressive rock, reggae, doo-wap, and hilarity basically at every turn. “Cocaine Decisions” may actually contain some of the most powerful lyrics Zappa has ever written, which is incredibly admirable and shows he still has it in the 80s. It’s too bad that 13 out of the 37 minutes on here are reminiscent of torture. 3.3/5.0 | | 26 |  | Frank Zappa
Thing-Fish
Critically panned, hated by Zappa’s fanbase, and so funny it’ll make your sides hurt. Sure the acting is bad and the music is recycled, but the dialogue is so gross and over the top that it functions as an amazing audioplay. Plus the satire concerning AIDS, homosexuality, feminism and racism is spot for the 1980s. Don’t listen for the music or you’ll be disappointed; listen to it for the comedy and satire. 3.5/5.0 | | 25 |  | Frank Zappa
Them or Us
This album is another case of typical progressive rock oriented Zappa. There may be no truly bad songs on here, but the standouts are also pretty scarce. “Frogs with Dirty Little Lips,” which was co-written by Zappa’s son Ahmet, is really fun and “Planet of My Dreams” is a unique track in a way where it sounds like it belongs in an unfinished musical play. There’s jamming all over the album and even a decent cover of The Allman Brother’s song “Whippin' Post.” Even then, the highlights are far from classic. 3.5/5.0 | | 24 |  | Frank Zappa
Lumpy Gravy
Now to piss some people off. Yes, Lumpy Gravy is not even in the top 20, and here’s why: It’s a clusterfuck. Although the clusterfuck is enjoyable, sentences like “I only dreamt I lived in a drum” make you question if Zappa just taped some hippies on acid and put them on the album. Sure it’s funny, but it’s also unsettlingly all over the place. Jazz to classical to surf rock to to just talking to this to that with no rhyme or reason for anything. I forgot the best part: the album is basically just 1 huge collage. In this way, it’s a must listen for Zappa fanatics, but not an album that has much replay value. 3.5/5.0 | | 23 |  | Frank Zappa
Tinsel Town Rebellion
It’s a very fun live Zappa album that shows moments where Zappa let members of the crowd come on stage. It’s not his most diverse, and it does contain some less desirable versions of some songs found on his studio albums, but overall it has enough cool originals to be of necessity for huge Zappa fans. It’s probably not worth your time if you’re only a casual fan. 3.6/5.0 | | 22 |  | Frank Zappa
Broadway the Hard Way
This live album showed that Zappa still had it in the late 80s and that he was far from done with satire. Lyrics that are against corrupt Republicans put with 80s pop, country, and even an 80s rap song. Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon are huge targets of the satire specifically, so it can feel a big dated. It isn’t particularly Zappa’s most consistent live album and the rock and jazz fusions have been played down a lot here. It’s pretty funny though, plus Zappa has an awesome solo while Sting sings his song “Murder by Numbers.” 3.6/5.0 | | 21 |  | Frank Zappa
Bongo Fury
Yes, this is the live album (except for 1 song which is from the studio, go figure) that Zappa made with the ever impressive Captain Beefheart. It’s probably the worst album from what I refer to as “the golden period of Zappa” (Over-Nite Sensation-Zoot Allures [which is due to this era having the best lineup {especially Ruth Underwood and George Duke.}]) Though, honestly, most of the flawed tracks are the ones predominated by Beefheart being a bit more boring than usual. The collaboration on some songs like “Debra Kadabra” and “Muffin Man” is wonderful though and this is essential for anyone who is a fan of both Zappa and Beefheart. 3.6/5.0 | | 20 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Uncle Meat
This is Zappa’s album where consistency varies the most. Like most Zappa albums, the genres on here vary - specifically they range from jazz fusion to doo-wop to 60s style rock, to a unique take on classical. Highlights, like the entire “King Kong” section and “Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague,” are no short of magnificent. Most of the doo-wap and short instrumentals, like “Electric Aunt Jemima” and “We Can Shoot You” respectively, are slightly above average as far as Zappa goes. Finally, there’s a decent amount of uninteresting randomness; for instance “God Bless America (Live at the Whisky A Go Go)” and “Louie Louie (At the Royal Albert Hall in London)” seem to be nothing more than space occupiers. By mixing perfection, decentness, and blandness into another one of his double albums, Zappa holds Uncle Meat down from being the masterpiece it should have been. If it were only 1 disc of the best material on here, It’d easily be sitting in the top 10. 3.7/5.0 | | 19 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Weasels Ripped My Flesh
When it comes to the two albums released after The Mothers of Invention’s initial breakup, Weasels is clearly the better of the two. Strong instruments like “Orange County Lumber Truck” and cute pop rock tracks like “Oh No” keep the album light hearted, while more avant-garde pieces like “Didja Get Any Onya?” and “Toads of the Short Forest” show how far Zappa would stretch the definition of jazz fusion.The album’s biggest flaw is that it comes off as a compilation, but what a great compilation it is. 3.9/5.0 | | 18 |  | Frank Zappa
Zappa In New York
As mentioned earlier, this album contains most of the live tracks that were initially planned to be on Läther. Out of these: The two “Black Page” tracks earn their place among Zappa’s best instrumentals. There’s also 3 epic hilarious songs that span between 7 and 13 minutes. Overall, the album is pretty consistent, and it’s probably Zappa’s 2nd best live album overall. It’s no classic since it’s a bit overlong and can plod at points, but it’s still as hilarious and complex as Zappa is at his best. 4.1/5.0 | | 17 |  | Frank Zappa
Waka/Jawaka
With a Nickname like “Hot Rats II” one can expect is pretty consistent record. although it’s not even nearly as consistent as Hot Rats itself, it’s of a similar genre; well at least the two longer songs are. The shorter songs are folksy blues styled songs with Zappa’s jamming style thrown in. Zappa’s fake German accent on “It Just Might Be a One-Shot Deal” is kind of cute to say the least, but the vocals in general on the song can come off as corny. Otherwise the album is a delight, even if it isn’t his biggest statement. It’s also the last Zappa album before his accident that caused his vocals to register as lower. 4.1/5.0 | | 16 |  | Frank Zappa
Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch
To a lot of Zappa fans, this album is incredibly polarizing, but I personally find it to be impressive. The album is split into two halves: the first trio are studio tracks that focus on vocals and being humorous in a heavier 80s pop rock kind of way, while the second trio are more proggy and complex, though just as silly. This album is also responsible for Zappa’s biggest hit “Valley Girl” as well as the operatic workout “Teen-Age Prostitute.” Not to mention that the talent of Steve Vai is spread throughout.. Plus if you like Zappa’s soloing: “Drowning Witch” contains some of his most hectic work. The first half might be a bit harder to get into, even if “No Not Now” is brilliantly funny, so maybe save this for when you’re at least somewhat familiar with Zappa. 4.1/5.0 | | 15 |  | Frank Zappa
Sleep Dirt
Now the best of the Läther dispersals is basically another one of his flashy instrumental albums. This is to no flaw though, I’d argue that “The Ocean Is the Ultimate Solution” is the best instrumental that Zappa had ever performed on and it’s a huge achievement of his; It also takes up almost a third of the album. The rest of the instrumentals, especially the title track are also really impressive, but much like the Läther albums, the album lacks flow and seems pasted together, even if it’s certainly to a lesser extent than the other 3. Recommended if you love flashy instrumental Zappa. 4.2/5.0 | | 14 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Absolutely Free
Much like Uncle Meat, this album would deserve it’s place in the top 10 for it’s highlights, but it’s lowlights are a bummer. The 16 minute Prunes Medley overstays its welcome by a long shot, even if “Invocation & Ritual Dance of the Young Pumpkin” is brilliant in its entirety, and “Status Back Baby” and “Uncle Bernie’s Farm” are kind of forgettable. However, along with “Pumpkin,” literally every other song not previously mentioned is brilliant. Whether it’s the experimental lounge on “America Drinks” or the brilliant proto-prog mindfuck “Brown Shoes Don't Make It,” the album treads a ton of new ground in a spectacular way. The two bonus tracks are essential additions too since they only bring up the quality of the album. 4.3/5.0 | | 13 |  | Frank Zappa
Sheik Yerbouti
By the time that this album had come out, Zappa had been notorious for being hilarious and offensive, but this is the first time he offended an entire organization. The Anti-Defamation League made sure the satirical track “Jewish Princess” never saw play on the radio, not that it was ever going to be on there anyway. With a wide range of exploitable humor, the album can be a huge turn off to those easily offended, but it keeps Zappa’s sleek guitar work and parodies. Specifically his parodies of punk (“I’m So Cute”) and disco (Dancin’ Fool”) are charming highlights. The album caught the eyes of the average music listener, since the latter of the two was was Zappa’s 2nd biggest hit ever (charting #45 on the Hot 100.) and the instrumental, “Rat Tomago,” was nominated for a Grammy for best instrumental. It’s a very fun, silly, and simplistically themed album, so it’s difficult to rank it super high, but with no filler or weak points, it’s also incredibly difficult to rank it low. 4.4/5.0 | | 12 |  | Frank Zappa
Jazz From Hell
Let’s be honest, what even is this album? Experimental 80s computer music? So it’s electronic? Well specifically it’s synclavier music, but unlike Zappa’s other albums based around the instrument, this album masterfully utilizes it in a way that’s close to genius. Which the exception of 1 track, which is a typical Zappa guitar solo, the entire album sounds like playful synthetic jazz. In a weird way, it almost sounds like an artificial counterpart to his actual jazz-fusion albums. “G-Spot Tornado” is one hell out of a work out too. So in short, it’s electronic jazz minus jazz instruments. Fun fact: it’s the only instrumental album to ever receive a Parental Advisory sticker. This is especially weird since it’s Zappa’s only album with the sticker. 4.4/5.0 | | 11 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Freak Out!
Zappa’s debut was the beginning of a legacy and not really an album that comes from “humble beginnings.” He’s as arrogant as ever from the start which preachy 60s based opinions. Most of the tracks are silly satirical doo-wap tracks that mock teen dating. The ones that aren’t, however, are where the true genius lies. “Hungry Freaks Daddy” and “Trouble Every Day” contain cutting blues rock satire about American culture and ideals and are both contain some of his best lyrics discography wise. Some of the tracks even fall apart into sound collages. And all of this was released as early as 1966. Truly a marvel of an album that’s worth a listen from even those not completely thrilled with Zappa’s typical work. 4.5/5.0 | | 10 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Roxy & Elsewhere
The first time I saw Zappa Plays Zappa, (Zappa’s son Dweezil’s show) they performed this in full. It gave me a new insight: that this is easily Zappa’s best live album. Many of his live albums consist of almost entirely unique material that can’t be found on his studio albums. On here, only 2/10 songs can be found on his studio work, and they’re honestly the weakest on here by far and may even drag the album away from perfection. Musicians George Duke (keyboards, synths, vocals) and Ruth Underwood (marimba, other percussion) are arguably the best two Zappa had ever worked with and they’re found all over this album improvising and ways that are no short of magical. Not to forget that the the album still contains Zappa’s hilarious humor and jazz fusion style. The album even contains a couple of well pulled off skits that are aided by the music. It’s the type of live album that makes me wish I had a time machine so I could see the original concerts. 4.6/5.0 | | 9 |  | Frank Zappa
The Grand Wazoo
I don’t actually have must to say about this excellent album. It’s just really brilliantly pulled off jazz-fusion. No bad tracks to be found. “Eat That Question” specifically is one of Zappa’s finest moments in jazz fusion. It’s rather quite similar to Hot Rats so if you want further details on it, just read Hot Rat’s description and think “okay so The Grand Wazoo is very similar to Hot Rats, but ever so slightly inferior.” 4.6/5.0 | | 8 |  | Frank Zappa
Apostrophe
Let’s not split hairs here, this one a comedy album first, a rock and jazz fusion album second, and quite possibly the best album to introduce a youngin’ to Zappa. So if you have sibling, cousin, child etc. who’s 12 or under and you want to start them off early with Zappa, here’s your album. So it’s a kiddy album right? Nah there’s plenty of dirty jokes on here, but they’re passed off clean enough to go over their heads. Musically, Zappa’s impressive guitar work is still all over this album, as well featuring Duke and Underwood yet again all over it. There’s even a serious track reflecting on the civil rights movement on it: “Uncle Remus.” Yet even in that Zappa manages to keep it light hearted and humorous. Honestly this is probably one of the best choices as an introduction to Zappa for all ages and is the type of album that’ll let out your inner child. 4.7/5.0 (I have this and everything else in the top 8 5’d haha.) | | 7 |  | The Mothers of Invention
Over-nite Sensation
A lot of people consider this to be Apostrophe’s sister album and the two albums are often packaged together. Hell there’s even a documentary dedicated to discussion of the two specifically, but there’s good reason to why this is the superior of the two. First of all, a large portion of this album is straight up funk, secondly it’s grosser (in a funny way/not child friendly haha), and thirdly, Tina Turner’s backup vocals are all over it. That’s right the actual Tina Turner. Due to disapproval by her husband/manager she wouldn’t be found on any of Zappa’s future releases, so this has a special flavor that all of his other releases lack. Plus the track “Fifty-Fifty” contains a brilliant organ solo, violin solo, and guitar solo all in succession. Yet again, it’s another amazing starting point for the Zappa fanatic to be, but maybe if they’re at least a teenager since “Dinah-Moe-Humm” is um… incredibly pornographic. “Sounds like you’re choking on something.” 4.7/5.0 | | 6 |  | Frank Zappa
Joe's Garage
As one of Zappa’s triple albums, Joe’s Garage takes a while to listen to. Despite this, it is rated as 2nd best often among the community and for good reason. Joe’s Garage is incredibly close to perfection in both the musical and lyrical depart. It’s a satirical rock opera that preaches against censorship while goofing on the growing popularity of more simplistic rock genres like punk. By containing some of Zappa’s most memorable quotes as well as introducing Ike Willis to the Zappa lineup, this album is an essential for any fan of his work. Plus The Central Scrutinizer might just be hands down the best character he ever created. Religious and government lampooning, robot sex, and prison rape all somehow get incorporated along the way. It’s another great intro to a rewarding discography. If it has any flaws, it’s that the third disc (mainly “He Used to Cut the Grass”) gets dry in a couple of spots and that’s really nitpicking. 4.8/5.0 | | 5 |  | Frank Zappa
Hot Rats
Oh look it’s the Zappa album that most people listen to and declare that it’s the only one they’ll ever need. No, but seriously this album has a reputation among Zappa fans as the “Zappa album for people can’t actually get into Zappa.” It also has a reputation as the obligatory jazz fusion album for people who can’t get into actual jazz fusion. With that said, it is hands down his best full on jazz fusion album by a mile. With a well pulled off and famous opener (“Peaches en Regalia”) and one of the most entertaining proto-rap tracks ever (“Willie the Pimp”) the album is not only groundbreaking, but incredibly fun. And while it’s close to perfection, the fact that it completely lack’s Zappa’s sense of humor, it fails to truly show off all of his strengths, settling on perfecting only some of them. Easily an essential of Zappa’s, but definitely topped by a couple of his other works. 4.8/5.0 | | 4 |  | Frank Zappa
Zoot Allures
So this basic 70s rock album is better than Hot Rats? Well, honestly, I think so for a number of reasons. The entire vibe of the album is one of grimy sexuality. Blow up dolls, horny disco dancers, and evil dungeon fetishests lurk all over this album, an album that is also accompanied by three of his most intimate instrumental tracks. The dark, yet still humorous, vibe makes it a huge standout due to the majority of his work being upbeat for the most part. Not to mention that every track on here is not only good, but a discography highlight. Yes, all 9 songs. It’s to a point that it’s incredibly difficult to pick a favorite on here though maybe it just might be “Wind Up Workin' in a Gas Station” for it’s maniacal climax. Not to mention that this album is incredibly bass heavy and has some of drummer Terry Bozzio’s best work. 4.9/5.0 | | 3 |  | Frank Zappa
You Are What You Is
My favorite review that I ever wrote is about this album. Without exaggeration, this is in fact Zappa’s most offensive album ever. He attacks: Religious leaders, religion followers, the rich, nepotism, drug users, people who aren’t true to themselves, politicians, the suicidal, the overweight, the vain, and even his own fans. Of course all of these criticisms are hilariously well crafted and accompanied by a variety of genres. Most prevalent among the usual progressive rock style is the addition of a gospel choir style. Of course though there’s also country, lounge, surf rock, and of course a spot of jazz fusion. Honestly, this might be one of his most fun as well, especially since he really pushes it with “Suicide Chump” and “Dumb All Over.” This is also the first Zappa album to feature Steve Vai. Overall, it’s easily the best 80s Zappa album and one I can’t seem find many flaws in. 4.9/5.0 | | 2 |  | The Mothers of Invention
One Size Fits All
This is one of the finest progressive rock/jazz fusion albums I’ve ever had the pleasure to experience. The opener “Inca Roads” holds its place as my favorite Zappa track of all time and personally I believe that Frank Zappa, George Duke, and Ruth Underwood’s best performances are all here. The song is basically making fun of progressive rock, which is basically perfect since Zappa is satirizing himself. As a whole, the album has a spacey atmosphere, tight and complex instrumentals (a multitude of time signatures) and incredibly bluesy and emotional guitar lines. Also, the music itself is so silly, that it’s even sillier than the lyrics. Yet under all of that silliness, Zappa really has something to say about society and his message is almost always sincere and well thought out, even if it’s also often condescending. This one isn’t just essential for Zappa fans, it’s essential for all progressive rock fans. 5.0/5.0 | | 1 |  | The Mothers of Invention
We're Only in It for the Money
During the Vietnam war protests, American culture was radically changing. Much of the youth became war-protesting hippies, and others sided with police who both kept control and brutally attacked these hippies; most of society however was in the middle watching it all happen. In comes Zappa to tell the world exactly how it is as he exposes the flaws of both extremes as well as criticizing the bystanders who long for the more conservative 1950s. Zappa pushes for both a change in society, but a self aware and reasonable one. He also showcases the divide between the youth and their parent’s beliefs making an impactful statement on how drastically times were changing. Genres on here range from psychedelic, to doo-wop, to even musique concrete. Whether you like it or not, it’s easily one of the most important albums of the 1960s, more important than Hot Rats could ever be. Make sure you listen to the original mixing of the album, the remasters are terrible in comparison. 5.0/5.0 | |
ArsMoriendi
03.31.15 | I put way too much effort into this... | Friday13th
03.31.15 | oh yeah this had better be featured | YakNips
03.31.15 | agreed with ars | BMDrummer
03.31.15 | damn pos | Torontonian
03.31.15 | damn nice. won't read now cus its late but i'll probably some tomorrow | Frippertronics
03.31.15 | 14 is 1 tbh | ArsMoriendi
03.31.15 | @Fripp: I don't know man, "Status Back Baby" and "Uncle Bernie's Farm" aren't that great. | Judio!
03.31.15 | Still haven't listened to a single Frank Zappa song tbh. | Frippertronics
03.31.15 | i would say you're wrong (u r) but it's a bit late to really put effort into saying why you're wrong, maybe tomorrow | SharkTooth
03.31.15 | surprised this didn't happen earlier | ArsMoriendi
03.31.15 | @Fripp: k.
@Judio: Check 1-15 honestly. | PotsyTater
03.31.15 | k. | Rhyme
03.31.15 | i saw 'Fr' on the front page and hoped this would be about Fred Durst | PotsyTater
03.31.15 | not that it could have been anything else when u notice the list is by ars haha | Frippertronics
03.31.15 | the real question is, what if we could fly? | Veldin
03.31.15 | I'm seeing Zappa Plays Zappa on 4/20. :) I applaud this list, good sir. | PotsyTater
03.31.15 | what nice timing | DrGonzo1937
03.31.15 | A great read Ars! Don't really agree with the ranking, but damn it's a good list. | RadicalEd
03.31.15 | feature this friggin list. Great list. | RadicalEd
03.31.15 | nice. sputnik obeys my orders. | ArsMoriendi
03.31.15 | Thank you Gonzo and Ed :)
| NorthernSkylark
03.31.15 | 200 motels is indeed the worst movie | DrGonzo1937
03.31.15 | It is fun though. | NorthernSkylark
03.31.15 | no it is horrible and wacko-weird but not funny
unless you're high/drunk | ArsMoriendi
03.31.15 | You guys ever see Baby Snakes? It's actually good, unlike 200 Motels... | DrGonzo1937
03.31.15 | Baby Snakes is cool too, yeah. | DrGonzo1937
03.31.15 | "wacko-weird"
Zappa summed up.
| Havey
03.31.15 | props | DrGonzo1937
03.31.15 | Bongo Fury is Zappa's best live album. | ArsMoriendi
03.31.15 | It's like 3rd, but still wonderful.
Gonzo have you checked 3 yet? | Frippertronics
03.31.15 | ars fite me if u insult 200 motels one more fukin time i dare u | TwigTW
03.31.15 | One Size Fits All needs a 2015, 40th anniversary of its release, bump to #1 . . . Brilliant list tho. | DoctorDoom
03.31.15 | This list is awesome. Thank you. | sleepdirt
04.01.15 | You need to listen to more Zappa. | Lambda
04.01.15 | Amazing list | ArsMoriendi
04.01.15 | Zappa plays Zappa was wonderful. They did 3 songs from Absoluely Free and 2 from We're Only in It for the Money, which was unexpected and awesome. They even did a song from You Are What You Is. Oh and of course One Size Fits All was brilliant.
It definitely topped when I saw them do Roxy.
| menawati
04.01.15 | brilliant list, i think i like sleep dirt and waka the most | Veldin
04.02.15 | So stoked to see ZPZ! Congrats on the feature, mate! | Frippertronics
04.02.15 | btw ruben and the jets was actually successful so you're pretty wrong about it backfiring. It was hardly an attempt to get on the radio, and was more of a tribute to doo-wop. It was a concept album centered around the titular Ruben and the Jets, and was part of the "No Commercial Potential" project that spanned from 1966-1970.
Might wanna actually put the right stuff down next time 'round. | deathschool
04.02.15 | Ars dropping knowledge bombs on haters. Impressive list though. I'll try to read through this soon. | Royl123
04.02.15 | 1 is 1 awesome list | ArsMoriendi
04.02.15 | I hope you enjoy it deathschool.
Also Fripp: I stand corrected. | DrGonzo1937
04.02.15 | I haven't yet Ars, I'm gonna sort my act out and listen to it today! | AmericanFlagAsh
04.03.15 | Damn Ars, talk about passion for an artist
I need to read this later, still have not listened to any Zappa ever | DrGonzo1937
04.03.15 | Personally, I recommend looking at the "best of Frank Zappa" first, it has a nice variety of songs on it and a good way to work out which era you'll enjoy most. | sleepdirt
04.03.15 | So much good Zappa on this list. If you're gonna have Trance-Fusion on here you may as well have Imaginary Diseases and the You Can't Do That on Stage Anymore series for that matter. Also, just announced is the release of Dance Me This, which I believe is Frank's last album. | ArsMoriendi
04.03.15 | @Ash: Start with 7 and 8. I think you'll love them.
@Gonzo: I hate when people start with Best Ofs, but I won't lie, Zappa's best of was a part of my childhood...
@sleepdirt: I probably should have put Imaginary Diseases, but oh well. As for the You Can't Do That on Stage Anymore series, I've only listened to volumes 1-3 and I wasn't super impressed so I never bothered getting to the other 3. Plus none of them have enough original tracks to really make a statement on them. | AmericanFlagAsh
04.03.15 | Will do. So they are like 'silly' albums? Like Ween? | ArsMoriendi
04.03.15 | They're very silly, but they're also way more complex instrumentally. Plus a lot of the silliness is satirical, as with the majority of Zappa's discography. | DrGonzo1937
04.03.15 | Yeah but Ars, a discog of this size I recommend a best of lol. Best way to know where you would start. | Veldin
04.03.15 | New Zappa album in June! His official last recorded LP | ArsMoriendi
04.03.15 | I know! I'm excited for it. I hope it's better than Trance-Fusion. | DrGonzo1937
04.03.15 | Woah, really? | sleepdirt
04.03.15 | Dance Me This will be Synclavier music. | Frippertronics
04.04.15 | ugh fuck
they need to release his Edgar Varese album ffs | ArsMoriendi
04.04.15 | You really want more classical Zappa, Fripp? | PotsyTater
04.04.15 | no | Frippertronics
04.04.15 | the question is, have you ever heard any Edgar Varese? | ArsMoriendi
04.04.15 | I haven't. Why, do you think it'd be something I'd like? | Frippertronics
04.04.15 | eh, maybe. But I'd rather have a classical LP that covers the artist that inspired Frank to get into composing music and shit instead of another garbage synclavier album. | PotsyTater
04.04.15 | obnoxious vocals? check. shitty lyrics? check. is it alt as fuck but also mildly experimental? check.
ars will dig | PotsyTater
04.04.15 | jk i havent heard edgar avewvawe
| Frippertronics
04.04.15 | oh you! | ArsMoriendi
04.04.15 | "instead of another garbage synclavier album."
Hopefully it'll be like Jazz from Hell. | Frippertronics
04.04.15 | his only good synclavier album, so hopefully | DrGonzo1937
04.04.15 | "eh, maybe. But I'd rather have a classical LP that covers the artist that inspired Frank to get into composing music and shit instead of another garbage synclavier album."
Ya' know, I actually agree with this. Pretty hard. | DrGonzo1937
04.04.15 | Ars, I can't believe I haven't heard One Size Fits All until now. Bloody slays. | MarvinLapsus
04.06.15 | One of the best lists to have ever been featured since I'm on the site, and perhaps the only one I felt I must comment due to its sheer greatness. I pretty much agree with you on your judgement of most albums, however I'd have placed the debut album a little bit higher because of its incredible significance: I believe that along with the psychedelic underground and the Velvet Underground & Nico it started that healthy rock and roll trend to piss everyone off. Ah, 1966, what a good vintage. | SharkTooth
04.06.15 | https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10153302061794416&id=98852079415 | ArsMoriendi
04.06.15 | Oh my god Shark. That's awesome.
Also thank you Marvin. :) | DrGonzo1937
04.06.15 | Awesome. Congrats ars. | SharkTooth
04.06.15 | I like the backhanded complement they gave you,
"Want a guide to Frank Zappa? You can do a lot worse than this." | ArsMoriendi
04.06.15 | I'll take it honestly. | SaneTBP
05.17.15 | "What’s worse is that most of the songs on here aren’t even conducted by Zappa! Some French conductor, Pierre Boulez"
A great songwriter isn't neccessarily a competent conductor, you know that right? I'm pretty sure Boulez knows how to keep a composition running (as he's one of the most revered composers of the 20th century)..
But yeah, the list is obviously awesome and detailed, great job! Only recently got into Hot Rats properly (eh, seems like your statement in it's description is true), and gona go with 2 next! I'm a lil' scared about his more humorous albums though, as I rarely find comedic music that appealing.. Maybe Zappa will be an exception | DrGonzo1937
05.17.15 | The comedic aspect is something Zappa does very well. | rockandmetaljunkie
05.17.15 | Magnificent work and well written. Great job dude. This guide will help newbies like me who want to explore the genius of Frank Zappa. | SaneTBP
05.17.15 | 2 was pretty awesome, especially the first half | someguest
05.17.15 | I need an exorcism after looking at your profile picture. | ArsMoriendi
05.17.15 | @Sane: I glad you liked it! I think you'll like Roxy & Elsewhere as well.
@someguest: Cool, that means I picked a good one! :D | sleepdirt
05.23.15 | You've got Studio Tan all wrong. You're right that it's a compilation album. It was recorded from 74-76 and not released until 1978 as part of his contractual obligation to Warner Brothers. That is meaningless. For a 40 minute album, Studio Tan contains some of Zappa's finest recorded music. Parts of Greggary Peccary and Revised Guitar we're live staples for the early Mothers through the Roxy Band. RDZNL also a phenomenal live number for a lot of Zappa tours/bands. I suggest listening to it s'more. | ArsMoriendi
05.23.15 | I've heard it a lot, trust me. It's not one his best, staple or not. I already said in the description that all 4 songs contained within are great, but you can't honestly say it's great as a studio album. | Frippertronics
05.23.15 | the material would've worked much better on Lather
such a shame that album never came out | ArsMoriendi
05.23.15 | Yup. I REALLY hate that Lather wasn't released when it was supposed to.
The version of "For the Young Sophisticate" on there is honestly one of my favorite Zappa songs, lyrically at least. | Frippertronics
05.23.15 | Yeah the 76-81 stuff was mostly meant for the Lather album, which would've been a quadruple album
There was an awful ton of stuff that was cancelled in that time period for varying reasons (Crush All Boxes and Warts and All were both albums that were cancelled in 1980 - the tracks on those went on to be form the Tinseltown Rebellion live album and parts of YAWYI from what I remember)
Lather was just shelved because WB thought it to be unmarketable due to Zappa's plans to release the album as a box set. So, because of his obligations to Discreet Records, the material on that went on these four Zappa albums: Sleep Dirt, Zappa in New York (which was butchered by the censors upon release, with uncensored pressings being expensive as hell to get), Orchestral Favorites, and Studio Tan. You can blame the inconsistency of those albums (save New York, that one is probably one of Zappa's best live albums) on the fact he needed material to get out of a contract. Some stuff on Lather (Broken Hearts are for Assholes, A Little Green Rosetta) were on that album as alternate versions, and were put on Shiek Yerbouti and Joe's Garage respectively. The original cover for Lather was Zappa in blackface, which would be used for Joe's Garage. I highly urge you to seek out the original versions of Sleep Dirt and Studio Tan, as Zappa who was known for fucking with his own recordings in the 80s and 90s, have more than one exact version. | Frippertronics
05.23.15 | FTYS was an outtake from Overnite, so I wouldn't be surprised that you like something that was meant for one of his more humor-based albums. | ArsMoriendi
05.23.15 | With the exception of that part about Crush All Boxes and Warts and All, I know all of this, but good addition incase someone else is reading the comments.
I've heard Lather in full and I agree that it was better in that format and yeah I know It's not completely his fault that they're inconsistent, or that they all have terrible artwork (Except Zappa in New York.)
Sometimes record companies can really suck :/ | wham49
11.01.15 | Wow you went all out, have many things to say actually, interesting top 10, this list is far different then I would invision mine, however, trance-fusion has to be higher than that, at least higher than shut up and play yer guitar, because I would say they are similar formats, I think Trance blows those oout of the water, also didn't see Imaginary Diseases, which I think is terrific, and l;ast for know is not sure when this ws made but, if youhave a chance, check out the Road Tapes series, actual full shows, venue 1 and 2 I have listened to and are pretyy great, 1 is from 68, and is miraculous | Parallels
11.01.15 | dreamed i was an eskimo | ArsMoriendi
11.01.15 | Frozen wind began to blow | WilhelmBlack
01.08.16 | 14 is 1 [2]
Under my boots n' around my toes.
Have you ever listened to the "You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 1" live version of the Don't Eat The Yellow Snow suite? | sleepdirt
01.08.16 | ^ The 79 London show with enforced audience poetry recital is a hoot. Frank was playing out of his mind on this tour. Most of the Joe's Garage solos were repurposed from this European run. | ArsMoriendi
01.08.16 | "Have you ever listened to the "You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 1" live version of the Don't Eat The Yellow Snow suite?"
Yeah, I've heard the first 3 volumes of it. They're pretty good, but I'm not in love with them. | sleepdirt
01.09.16 | RIP Pierre Boulez | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | Zappa never gets old, I swear. | Frippertronics
02.15.16 | Well, he lived to 52. | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | Dude, if Zappa came back as a zombie, it'd be the sickest Zappa on Halloween concert ever. He'd be the zombie woof. C'mon mad scientists what are you waiting for? | Asdfp277
02.15.16 | this guy have some albums | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | @Asdfp277: check 1 and 2, they're perfect. | Asdfp277
02.15.16 | i'm checking Jazz from Hell rn, it's cool but not mindblowin, just gonna lowkey get familiar w/ this guy | Frippertronics
02.15.16 | Freak Out bro, there are better albums, but if there's one you gotta hear, it's that one | Asdfp277
02.15.16 | will do too, why not! >:] | Frippertronics
02.15.16 | Honestly, most if not all his stuff up until 1975 is essential listening. After that, he had some really good stuff, but by 1985, he kinda did lose what made the earlier stuff charming. Far too much synclavier and rearranged albums tbh | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | I agree with him losing it after 85, but his 76-84 albums grab me too. Especially Joe's Garage.
Actually Joe's Garage is a great starting point, it was my starting point actually. It's Zappa's 2nd highest rated on Sput too. | Frippertronics
02.15.16 | And to be honest, even at his peak, his sidemen were better than him honestly. There's no way something like King Kong would be so monumental and gripping if it weren't for Jim "Motorhead" Sherwood and Bunk Gardner. | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | His peak for me on the whole is still his 1973-1976 era, but fair enough. I mean Ruth Underwood, George Duke, and Chester Thompson helped him through that era too. | Frippertronics
02.15.16 | Yeah. If it weren't for the sidemen, Zappa would be stuck with some rather dull compositions (which were a huge problem come the time when he ditched the bands and just did one-man synclavier albums with the occasional guitarist on the side). | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | I do love Jazz from Hell though, only synclavier album by Zappa that's even remotely good though. | Frippertronics
02.15.16 | Yeah, JfH and Monkies from Ma Maison are both good, but the novelty tends to wear off quickly. | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | Monkies from Ma Maison is worth checking? I never know which ones to check with Zappa's posthumous releases. | Frippertronics
02.15.16 | It's okay, but I'm judging it from the edited vinyl release instead of the CD, which I believe is longer. | ArsMoriendi
02.15.16 | Interesting... | ArsMoriendi
10.02.16 | Bumped for sleepdirt and wham :P | wham49
10.02.16 | trance fusion is beyter than that at least should be top 30 on this list | ArsMoriendi
10.02.16 | Nah, but I might have bit a little harsh on it
Maybe... | sleepdirt
10.02.16 | Trance Fusion is great if you enjoy listening to Frank play guitar. | wham49
10.02.16 | he is good at it, not top 10 or anything but better than Francesco, and Utopia, and 200, prevention and the other orchesta releases | ArsMoriendi
10.02.16 | I enjoy Frank's guitar work, but on Trance (as well as Guitar and Shut Up) it's out of context and there for harder to appreciate.
I like most of Utopia, even if those 3 (you know which ones) tracks are painful | wham49
10.02.16 | point well taken
we can agree on one thing We are only in it for the money, is the shit | ArsMoriendi
10.02.16 | WOIIftM might be my favorite album ever | Zig
11.28.18 | "Some French conductor, Pierre Boulez, (...)"
Some? That guy was one of the most important Postmodern composers. | Zig
11.28.18 | Must say, your Top 2 with Roxy and Hot Rats, my all time FZ records. | Sinternet
11.28.18 | more like frank crappa | wham49
11.28.18 | Sin, you are clearly clueless
Picked up the Mono version of "Money" at the black friday RSD, it was a picture disk which I was mad at, but plays very nice and is cool | tef
03.23.20 | Great list. 31 and 32 are among my personal favourites, I would have placed those after 17 or even higher I guess. The rest is pretty solid, with the exception of 24-27 which should all not be higher than the 35 spot, IMO. But kudos for the write up, this is really helpful for the uninitiated |
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