Average Rating: 3.83 Rating Variance: 1.16 Objectivity Score: 69% (Fairly Balanced)
Sort by: Rating | Release Date | Rating Date | Name5.0 classicDeath HumanMonstrosity In Dark Purity4.5 superbThe Devil Wears Prada With Roots Above and Branches BelowI loved this album. I've heard a lot of poeple complain about the vocals. While Mike Hranica doesn't go as high in his screams as he did in Plagues, his mid-ranged yell makes a good substitute. Also, Jeremy Depoyster has really improved his clean vocals. Now, on to the rest of the band. Everything has improved. The guitars now have a certain crispness to them that I missed in Plagues and Dear Love: a Beautiful Discord. The drums are constantly changing tempo, and sometimes it's hard to keep up. Overall, everything has improved. Now the negative points. This album left me wanting more. I just wish they could have put one more song on the record. Another point is that , while the vocals are good, I wish Mike would have chosen better placement of his low-pitched growl. For example, in "Dez Moines", when he says "Take all your medals", he sounds a bit dumb. Also in "Dez Moines", he says "Take all your ribbons", and he sounds out of breath.Now individual song reviews. 01- "Sassafrass"- I really like the intensity of this song. The transitions are great, and are timed perfectly. 4/5 02- "I Hate Buffering"- Again, very intense. This one feels a little more structured, and not as frantic as "Sassafrass". I like this song's melodic feel towards the end.4.5/5 03- "Assistant to the Regional Manager"- ........This song BLEW ME AWAY. Remarkably catchy, but also very exciting to listen to. The guitar is exceptional in this one.Great breakdown at the end.4.5/5 04- "Dez Moines"- Jeremy's voice is up-front-and-center here. My only complaint is that Mike could have place his vocal transitions better.3.5/5 05- "Big Wiggly Style"- The synth plays an interesting part in this song, but feels a bit tacked-on at certain moments. However, I loved this song, and it is one of my favorites. Really good breakdowns. Really good vocals. Really good everything.4/5 06- "Danger: Wildman"- Very heavy song with some of the best vocals on the entire album. Everything feels right at home. There is even a part that almost has a Guitar vs. Keyboard feel to it. The bridge is great. Overall, great song.4.5/5 07- "Ben Has a Kid"- One of the most brutal tracks this band has ever put out. Almost 2 minutes in, an extremely heavy breakdown kicks you in your face, and Mike shows you how low he can go. Very heavy song.4.5/5 08- "Wapakalypse"- Again, extremely heavy, but leaves a bit to be desired.3.5/5 09- "Gimme Half"- I LOVE THIS SONG. Perfect mix of melody and brutality. Great vocals. Great guitars. Great drums. GREAT SONG.My favorite from the whole album.5/5 10- "Louder Than Thunder"- This song surprised me. I didn't know what to expect when I heard that The Devil Wears Prada made a ballad. I'll tell you now, I didn't even miss the fact that Mike isn't even in the song. Jeremy has the full stage, and he makes the best of it.5/5 11- "Lord Xenu"- This song felt like it was tacked on just to have another song to play at live shows. It was okay, but I would've been just fine without it.3/5 In summary, this record is great. It puts Plagues to shame (even though Plagues was great, too). Pick it up whenever you can. I doubt you'll regret it.4.0 excellentBlood Duster CuntCannabis Corpse Tube of the ResinatedCannibal Corpse Evisceration PlagueJob For A Cowboy Ruination2.5 averageCorpus Christi The Darker Shades Of White1.5 very poorEmmure FelonyThis is my first review, but let's get this out of the way. I really do like Emmure. I just hate this album. This band used to be among my favorite Deathcore/ Metalcore bands. Not because I'm some snot-nosed teenager, but because I had fun when listening to the apallingly simpistic nature of their songs. They seemed to have fun with their music, but took themselves too seriously. They were pretty much giant breakdowns (especially on The Respect Issue), but they were still fun. This album has none of that. No fun. Still a lot of breakdowns. But no goddamn satisfaction came from them. I know that breakdowns are supposed to get a crowd pumped and ready to mosh, but if I went to an Emmure concert, and they started playing "You Sunk My Battleship", I would either run into the bathroom and vomit, or stab myself in the ears, which would hopefully kill me. Now let's talk about the songs. God help me. 01- "Sunday Bacon"- It starts off with a simple drum pattern, and then Frankie Palmeri's layered growl comes in, but gives way to his atrocious "singing". The breakdown in this song is decent, but it just doesn't feel like Emmure. It doesn't set a good tone for the rest of the album. Overall, a poor song. 2/5 02- "I Thought You Met Telly and Turned Me into Casper"- Like "Sunday Bacon", but worse. Avoid it. 1/5 03- "I <3 EC2"- An average track. Better than "Sunday Bacon". 2.5/5 04- "Felony"- In this one, Frankie's "singing" is actually pretty well placed, and sounds good. One of the better tracks. 3.5/5 05- "You Sunk My Battleship"- .............SKIP THIS PIECE OF ***. Second worst song on the album, in my opinion.0.5/5 06- "The Philosophy of Time Travel"- The booklet says that there are lyrics within this song, but I never heard them. 1/5 07- "First Impressions"- Best song on the album. Definitely sounds like Emmure. 4.5/5 08- "R2deepthroat"- Not horrible, but reminds me too much of "I Thought You....". 2/5 09- "Bars in Astoria"- I really liked this track. Some parts of this song are EXTREMELY catchy. 3.5/5 10- "A Lesson from Nichole"- While not the worst, it tries WAAYY too hard. 2/5 11- "Don't Be One"- Worst song by them. EVER. PERIOD.0/5 12- "Immaculate Misconceptions"- Not too bad. 2.5/5 Overall, this is their worst album yet. Even though Emmure was never great, this made them look like idiots. I don't know what they were thinking when they made it, but I would have to guess it's illegal.
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