Average Rating: 3.71 Rating Variance: 1.63 Objectivity Score: 66% (Fairly Balanced)
Sort by: Rating | Release Date | Rating Date | Name5.0 classicA Place to Bury Strangers Exploding HeadAC/DC Highway To HellSadly, this was Bon's last album with the band, but he gives his finest performance here. The whole album is just classic all the way through. This is also the heaviest AC/DC album. Real classic.AC/DC Dirty Deeds Done Dirt CheapAs the name implies, this is a down and dirty album. It's really awesome. It has a ton of classic songs. The title track is really awesome.AC/DC High VoltageProbably the best AC/DC album, they sound fresh and awesome and the thing just rocks. I love it. Really good songs on this album. Angus rocks.Asia AsiaPure, cheesy fun. It's beautiful music, great for break-ups and such. Lovely album.Atheist ElementsAtheist Unquestionable PresenceBuilt to Spill There Is No EnemyDappled Cities ZoundsDio Holy DiverDio The Last In LineDir En Grey UroborosI stroke my sack while jamming to this record in my mom's basement and I cry while doing so.Hatebreed HatebreedA modern heavy metal classic, featuring brute riffs, smashing vocals, and hard drums.Motley Crue Shout At The DevilThe best glam metal album ever made. This stuff rules. This is why everyone likes Motley Crue. Because this album rules.Nirvana In UteroAngsty and beautiful, Nirvana's finest moment on record.Nirvana MTV Unplugged in New YorkKurt would soon die, but he kicked so much butt here.The 5.6.7.8's Bomb The RocksThe Beatles RevolverThe Beatles Abbey RoadThe Beatles Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club BandThe Dickheaded Fucks ...Weezer PinkertonWeezer WeezerWeird Al Yankovic Running With ScissorsWeird Al Yankovic Dare To Be StupidWeird Al Yankovic In 3-DWipers Youth of AmericaWipers Is This Real?4.5 superbAC/DC Back In BlackAC/DC If You Want Blood You've Got ItAsia AlphaAsia AstraAsia AquaAtheist Piece Of TimeCannibal Corpse Tomb Of The MutilatedConverge Axe to FallConverge's best album yet. After the unorganized piece of shit No Heroes, it's good to see them make a comeback.Deicide DeicideThis album is harder than a mighty fist! It will rape your mother and fuck your dog! Dethklok The Dethalbum DragonForce Valley Of The DamnedDragonForce Sonic FirestormDragonForce Inhuman RampageDragonforce is popular for being in a Guitar Hero and shredding fast. I like them because they shred fast. Dragonforce rocks. A lot of people don't get the joke, but those that do, love Dragonforce. The vocals are over the top, as is the guitar and the drumming. But not the bass. I don't think they have a bass player. I mean, these guys are basically a real-life Dethklok. Except even funnier. They sing about flames, marching, fire, burning, dragons, and burning flames, amongst other things. In the lyrical department, they are like geniuses. Dethklok has gore, Dragonforce has fantasy. Listening to this album is like playing through The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time all over again. That's how awesome these guys are. Plus, everyone in the band is Japanese, which is the land of video games! It's obvious these guys played Double Dragon and Golden Axe quite a bit back in the day. And they have awesome keyboards, like they have in video games. The guitars really rock. I think Herman Lee and Sam Totmun are two of the best guitar players ever. They are faster than lightning and their shredding can tear through steel with its miraculous velocity and unrelentless power of amazing insanity and brutality. They are relly good at guitar. And their singer is amazing. He can reach some high notes. His voice is hilarious, and it totally works with the music. He is loud and powerful. Dragonforce also has a drummer. He plays faster than Sonic The Hedgehog. Everyone in this band is fast. It's like you can't even tell the songs are long because it's all so fast. I really think this may be the fastest album ever. It's polished, clean production is good too, and it works with that sound. Through the Fire and Flames is a very famous song because of Guitar Hero, and it's awesome. It's fast and awesome, and it's very upbeat. Really awesome song. Revolution Deathsquad is also awesome. It has some of the funniest lyrics ever and it's just really good. It's like, 9 minutes long, but it's 9 minutes of face melting butt kicking. Storming the Burning Fields is also cool. It's got fast guitar. It's like a sequel to TTFAF. If this was in Guitar Hero....oh boy! Operation Ground and Pound is the only weak point. This song is retarded. It drags on way too long, but the guitar saves it. Guitar rocks! Body Breakdown is like Operation Ground and Pound lyric wise, but it's really good and has a stronger message. Awesome song. Cry for Eternity is a bit of a ballady love song, about ZP Theart's broken heart. It's really moving actually. Corny, I know! But it makes me all bubbly inside. It's so beautiful. I mean, if this band wasn't a joke band, I could actually take it seriously! The Flame of Youth is so cool. After that slow song, speed picks up. This song is about the flame that is our youth and how the flame is extinguished when we get old and then the fun ends, and how youth is taken away from us. Really serious lyrics, surprising for a joke band. Still a great song. Its speed and fastness represents how fast our youth and childhood go by, and we should live life to its very fullest before we get old and senile. Trail of Broken Hearts is a really fun song. It's about this trail of broken hearts that the main character must cross to get to where he wants to be. Really inspiring song, good to work out to. This album is excellent. It's fast, fun, it's got great lyrics, and only one true weak point. I would give it a 5 out of 5 but since this is sort of a joke band, I just can't do it. Really amazing stuff though, and the last few songs have really serious lyrics that sort of make me wonder, Hey, is this band a joke after all? I mean, the music is played with stunningly precise precision and the excecution is absolutely flawless, and the album flows very well. These guys may very well be the Weird Al Yankovic of heavy metal music! These guys are, dare I say it, BETTER than Dethklok! And Dethklok is amazing too. Dethklok's funny, but Dragonforce definitely put way more effort into being a funny band, and it shows in their music. And before I end this review, I'd like to say: I beat Through the Fire and Flames on EXPERT. 4.5/5Iron Maiden The Number Of The BeastJoan Jett and the Blackhearts Up Your AlleyLook at her jacket! Mmmmm....leather! Great album.Metallica Master Of PuppetsMetallica Kill 'Em AllMetallica Ride The LightningMotley Crue Too Fast For LoveNirvana NevermindOzzy Osbourne Blizzard Of OzzOzzy Osbourne Diary Of A MadmanSlayer Reign In BloodSoulja Boy Souljaboytellem.comSoulja Boy iSouljaBoyTellEmThe Beatles The BeatlesThe Donnas Bitchin'This is probably the sexiest album ever recorded. I often masturbate to the front cover.Thrice The Artist in the AmbulanceWeird Al Yankovic Poodle HatWeird Al Yankovic "Weird Al" Yankovic4.0 excellentAC/DC Stiff Upper LipAC/DC Flick Of The SwitchAC/DC Let There Be RockAC/DC PowerageAC/DC LiveAsia AriaConverge Petitioning the Empty SkyEurope The Final CountdownGatling Resonance Cascade [Demo]Jimmy Eat World ClarityMichael Jackson Off the WallMotley Crue Girls, Girls, GirlsPink Floyd The Final CutI thought I wouldn't like this, but it's actually ok.Radiohead OK ComputerThrice The Illusion of SafetyWeird Al Yankovic UHFWeird Al Yankovic Off the Deep EndWeird Al Yankovic Straight Outta Lynwood3.5 greatAC/DC Fly On The WallAC/DC For Those About To Rock We Salute YouMichael Jackson ThrillerMotley Crue Dr. FeelgoodR.E.M. MurmurSlayer Christ IllusionThe Flaming Lips EmbryonicThrice If We Could Only See Us NowThrice Red SkyWeezer The Green AlbumWeird Al Yankovic Bad Hair DayWeird Al Yankovic The Food Album3.0 goodAqua AquariumAqua AquariusDragonForce Ultra BeatdownMotley Crue Theatre Of PainMotley Crue Saints Of Los AngelesThrice VheissuWeird Al Yankovic Even WorseWeird Al Yankovic Polka Party2.5 averageAC/DC BallbreakerAC/DC The Razors EdgeAC/DC '74 JailbreakAC/DC Who Made WhoConverge Jane DoeConverge Caring and KillingThrice Live At The House Of Blues2.0 poorAC/DC Blow Up Your VideoConverge You Fail MePoor album, ruined by the band's decision to make a mainstream sound.Muse Origin of SymmetryThrice The Alchemy Index Vols. I & IIThe beginning of Thrice's downfall, here they try to stray as far away from post-hardcore as possible by creating spacey, Radiohead-esque garbage. Thrice The Alchemy Index Vols. III & IVU2 The Joshua TreeBono's voice is a whiny mess, the Edge has the guitar skills of a 6th grader. Pass.Weezer The Red AlbumWeird Al Yankovic Alapalooza1.5 very poorAC/DC Black IceBon Jovi Slippery When WetGhostface Killah Ghostdini: The Wizard of Poetry in Emerald CityMuse Black Holes & RevelationsRatatat LP4Thrice BeggarsIt's as if the members of Thrice are trying to make sure that their only fans reside on Sputnikmusic. Another poor effort. Borderline prog and just plain uninteresting, this is Thrice with even less power than before. 1.0 awfulBreaking Benjamin Dear AgonyThis album is insipid, queefy, and all-around bad. Good music, where are you when I need you?Converge No HeroesConverge's worst moment. Unorganized, shitty, incoherent, and just a bloated, pretentious mess. Thank God they redeemed themselves with Axe.Editors In This Light and On This EveningJob For A Cowboy GenesisJob For A Cowboy's debut is one of the worst albums ever made. There, I said it. How can some people get together and make music that sounds so awful? Allow me to dissect each aspect of the music to show you why this is so awful. The vocals - The singer is not actually singing, he is roaring and not in a cool way like Dethklok's Nathan Explosion or Cannibal Corpse's Tom Angelripper. No, this guy just sounds retarded. He yells and yells and when he does it makes me want to cut off my ears and eat them and then kill myself. Wait, I think that was a line from one of these songs. The lyrics - The lyrics cannot be understood anyway because the singer is a goddamn mook, but I looked up some lyrics, and they were seriously retarded. Just stuff about eating guts and cutting off people's nads and worshipping Satin. And they don't do this in a cool way like Dragonforce or Slayer, they just sound like retards. The guitars - There are like, 4 guitarists, and they just play the same note over and over and over, and then they might solo for a little bit. But when they solo, they don't do it in a cool way like Matthew Broderick of Megadeth or Chuck Schuldiner or Death or even Jimi Hendrix of The Jimi Hendrix Experience. They play like stupid little 15 year-olds trying to sound brutal and toughcore, but they don't. If you want an accurate description of the guitar playing on Job For A Cowboy's Genesis, I have one word: Retarded. Now, I'm not trying to make fun of retards by saying this, but it's really true. You know how retards are always hitting their chests and yelling out stuff that doesn't make any sense? That's kinda like this album. The guitars are retarded. The bass - Throughout this whole piece of crud, I did not even hear the bass guitar. I seriously think that Linkin Park can play better than this guy. And he's a queer too. The drums - You know how every ***ty metal band since Slipknot has had quadruple bass drums that sound retarded and make the music bad? Yeah, Job For A Cowboy does that too, which is pretty lame. So overall, this album is horrible.Meshuggah Destroy Erase ImproveMuse The ResistanceIf the guys in Muse didn't have dicks in their mouths, maybe they could make some real music.Ozzy Osbourne Black RainSpice Girls SpiceThe Mars Volta Frances the MuteWeezer Make BelieveWinger In The Heart Of The Young
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