Average Rating: 3.95 Rating Variance: 1.31 Objectivity Score: 62% (Fairly Balanced)
Sort by: Rating | Release Date | Rating Date | Name5.0 classicCurrent 93 Thunder Perfect MindNeutral Milk Hotel In the Aeroplane Over the SeaI will never find anything else in existence that makes me feel the way that this album does. I am terrified of this album. I realize every one of my flaws when I listen to this album, all at once. That's not what scares me the most anymore. I don't know what anyone thinks about this album. I can't succeed in describing what this album might be with words, and I can't draw it. I am terrified of this album.The Delicious Bread Collection Tales from the Yeast SideThis EP will captivate you in its raw wild energy and seemingly spontaneous composition, which will have it remain unique in many ways for years to come--as an EP. The DBC obviously have something big coming this way (and I, for one, am wearing high heels on my feet and floor wax on my eyelids while searching through tic-infested grass for non-poisonous, non-psychedelic mushrooms and discarded celery on an hourly basis in frantically euphoric bipolar anticipation). UUUGGHHGGHG ASPARTAME LOAF BREADHEART--YOUR MAGIC SCHOOLBUS BRINGS 0% GLUCOSE WHEAT AND OAT TO THOSE WHO ARE INTOLERANT OF GLUCOSE, AND THE SWEETEST, MOST FATTENING AND SALTY OF DECADENT DOUGHS--ALL WITHOUT SWEETENING, FAT, OR SALT--TO THE DIABETIC EUCHARISTIC THINGS WERE THE FOODSTUFFS WE INITIALLY WOULD SUP, BUT AS OF LATE, YOUR BAND, CARRIED BY THEIR HEART OF BREAD, HAS FED US PAGES OF EXQUISITE SHEET MUSIC THROUGH OUR EAR HOLESThe Delicious Bread Collection Equals HitlerThis music is something really special. I might write a review later.rTo the members of The Delicious Bread Collection: FCFS5?fcDgf528cgZjcKjsHSE0"", ! EDIT BECAUSE A SEMICOLON WASN'T THE CORRECT CHOICEThe Delicious Bread Collection Make Love Wheat BreadThe saxaphone sometimes sounds like the siren from the UVB-76/MDZhB shortwave radio broadcasts. That alone is extremely, extremely spectacular.4.5 superbCurrent 93 All the Pretty Little HorsesCurrent 93 Black Ships Ate the SkyCurrent 93 Dogs Blood RisingNurse With Wound The Sylvie And Babs Hi-Fi CompanionNurse With Wound Who Can I Turn To StereoSteven Stapleton proves himself capable of creating music that sounds as if it were multiple samples put on a magnetic tape and sent alone into a 3-dimensional world generated by an early 32-bit computer, to have it come out as a perfectly-timed and assembled piece of music that has adopted the computer's electronic world of depth. The words spoken flow along with the richly textured, less abrasive industrial fare, and they take the concept of abstract art in multiple directions—which is to say, it does not leave you in one spot the whole time. This album is an ambient work that is very atmospheric, captivating, and enjoyable; almost every track stands out like the contrast one would get from seeing a thick layer of chocolate-colored pastel on a sheet of beige construction paper set in front of a window, in-between a palm tree and an oak tree in a hand-drawn office—it's not a mess, and it's not all the same.Pist.on Number OneThere's a reason as to why their other album isn't yet listed here; it's a terrible fiasco that cost Pist.On their career as a result of it having such lousy production, and being nothing like what Henry Font or Val.Ium had stated that it was going to be. Where this album sounded like the child of Type O Negative and My Bloody Valentine with the lyrics of The Smiths, $ell.Out came across as a generic parody of popular music. It did not age well; within a few years, it sounded like a mixture of horrible bands from the early-to-mid 2000s. There is far more to be said about Pist.On's debut album than what anyone has let out in any review. A work that bears ugly, sickening cover art to fool whoever it can into forming an opinion based on what they might first catch of it, but upon hearing what thrives behind that introductory artwork, catches the listener by total surprise. This is a risk in itself—and judging by the quality of Pist.On's work, one that seems to have been taken with the potential consequences being understood, and kept in mind.SNFU If You Swear You'll Catch No FishThe Delicious Bread Collection We Have No Fucking Clue What We're DoingI would suggest varying your drumming styles a bit more. Put tinfoil on them or something; get a really big drum, and then put snares over the heads.rHit other instruments, too!The Delicious Bread Collection Failurei can really dug that thunk jazz thunk punk hattitude aptitude I DON'T NEED TO TAKE A COUPLE PILLS BUT IN THE SUNLIGHT I WILL BAKE I WILL DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS BECAUSE I'VE GOT A MINOR HEADACHE what a delicious little tune that is GRABBAT YER T'ROAT, AND SING ME TH' BLACKS, FER YERSELF'S GUSHING URINE, OR I'LL MAKE YER HEART FLAT! jesus fuck two pills every twenty goddamn minutes what kind of fucking society is this when u have to fucken take pills at work and fuck gosh these people are taking them with coffee and not water what the fuck fuc If I were a balding and slightly corpulent old man, I'd have the best of both worlds; I'd lay on a lawn chair and take two (godamn fucken) white pills every twenty minutes while under a bright sun on a hot and steaming CNN new day, with a cup of disgusting Nescafe coffee that had been whitened at the break of day with Nescafe aluminium-enriched coffee whitener to help down the two pills every twenty minutes. One screaming meal outside of the bloated man's rich bloated house down in inflated Floriduh.Type O Negative World Coming Down4.0 excellentCurrent 93 Swastikas For NoddyCurrent 93 Of Ruine Or Some Blazing Starre3.5 greatElectric Wizard We LiveTo me, it's their most dark and cold, but not the heaviest. Still, it flows well, and sometimes goes beyond their better material. "Saturn's Children" is absolutely haunting, which I credit to its smooth, yet rigid flow across its 15-minute length. The vocals, in every instance, are used quite well. I know it's not really related to the music, but the album artwork also deserves some applaud. Beautiful contrast and use of colors on the unmarked skin!Nurse With Wound A Sucked Orange2.0 poorButthole Surfers ElectriclarrylandSub-par on all sorts of levels--with or without its outstanding lack of originality. It reeks of material that has either been stolen or recycled from what sounds like street hip-hop artists, Beck, and even the Surfers' earlier (and monstrously more appealing) work. The 90s did not treat the Surfers well in many regards; the one actual positive that I can think of is that they received greater recognition, albeit through a whole decade of displaying heavily uninspired money-and-safety-seeking musicianship. I suppose all the money that was exchanged for drugs over time would indeed eventually leave not only Gibby, but everyone in the Butthole Surfers in a questionable state, so the change was inevitable. The 2000s were even worse in some ways, despite there being only one album with new content on it released in that time.Slipknot All Hope Is GoneThe one band that I know of that has nine members, yet they have an inexcusably unimpressive and shallow sound. I shouldn't need to explain how this works—but at that, I'm not entirely sure what the larger half of the band is doing while the other four are playing. Even during the first two tracks (which are undoubtedly the best on this enigma, lyrically and otherwise), they were reluctant to wander off and explore the dorsal regions of metal's shiny exoepidermis—that is, the gateway to more free, generally abrasive sound. If this is what a lust for money sounds like when pumped through the record industry, then I still can barely distinguish it from the awful gobs of appalling spew that regularly captivate an unfortunate, inexperienced audience of listeners who want to fit in somewhere. This only narrows it down a bit, while retaining some sort of quality.1.5 very poorSNFU In the Meantime and In Between TimeExtremely poor album; the structure of each and every track is both generic and repetitive. Lyrically, it fails to evoke the slightest sense of anything worth feeling—it is direct cut-and-paste pop punk mindlessness, and so horrifically obvious that the body from which it came is done bloating and has begun to tear, exposing its bruised and crumbling innards. This album would not serve well for background music in an uninspired film, let alone for direct listening. Lazy, uncreative, boring, banal, and almost completely intolerable; Chi Pig's vocals are the least heinous thing about this lukewarm spool of some of the Irish Sea's most radioactive, coagulated water. There's a new SNFU album coming out this September. I hope that they've learned their mistakes from this fizzing pile of sweaty vomit, and a few of the albums which came before it. If you're new to SNFU, or if you haven't heard them then I highly, highly recommend their first two albums; the second, If You Swear, You'll Catch No Fish, goes several paces beyond the fictitious opposite of this atrocity in terms of quality.1.0 awfulSoulja Boy Souljaboytellem.comAlas, an uncreative variation on the concept of spraying an explosively deadly poisonous anal concoction of hot dogs and Kraft Dinner into an operational blender, and then distributing it across multiple Dixie cups that are decorated with bendy straws and umbrellas to be handed out amongst a classroom full of pure, beautiful, curious children for them to soak into their eardrums--an act which will prematurely shatter their fragile innocence. Indeed, a completely obvious choice of an album to bash, although very deserving of whatever rocks get chucked at its tiring, apathy-inducing, inebriated qualities. There's nothing that this album has to offer; I don't even feel like giving my opinion on this hen's bruised hairy egg, because it doesn't inspire anything in me--not even wishes that the artist would have succeeded to some degree. I only really am aware for sure that it is truly poison. The mainstream enjoyment of music like this is how dumb people come into fruition. It is outstandingly bad because it is so entirely worthless, and has no purpose other than for corruption. This is one of the first things that I am able to recall when I think of outstandingly awful music--and at that, it was some of the first outstandingly awful music I had ever been exposed to. This is precisely what you might hear on repeat inside the head of someone with the IQ of a stop sign. This is the worst thing ever created.
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