Weezer
Van Weezer


2.0
poor

Review

by Sowing STAFF
May 7th, 2021 | 275 replies


Release Date: 05/07/2021 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Weezer churns out another unremarkable release, once again proving that their focus is on quantity instead of quality.

Is there a busier mainstream rock act in the world than Weezer? Recent champions of The Teal Album (a collection of vanilla classic rock covers), The Black Album (a record so bad that it made Pacific Daydream sound okay), a weirdly popular cover of Toto’s ‘Africa’, and a pandemic album spoofing a Radiohead title (OK Human), they now bring us their ode to hair metal in Van Weezer. The temptation among longtime followers who remember The Blue Album and Pinkerton – hell, even Everything Will Be Alright In The End and The White Album – is to wish that Rivers Cuomo would just sink three solid years into a single album and come up with another classic Weezer LP. However, it’s those same hardcore fans who already know the drill: Weezer always has, and always will, do whatever the hell they want. It’s worth tagging along just because of how entertaining the journey can be, though. Whether it’s fusing rap with Queen-reminiscent choruses on ‘The Greatest Man That Ever Lived’ or slapping a picture of Hurley from Lost on their eighth studio album and naming it after him, we know that Weezer is always going to have some fun with their art – be it for better or worse.

Van Weezer arrives as the latest installment in their goofy repertoire: this one a tribute to 80s metal that wears its KISS/Black Sabbath/Van Halen influences like a badge of honor. At times, it plays out much better than we could have anticipated: ‘The End of the Game’ is a euphoric rush of arpeggios, power chords, and elated melodies, while ‘Hero’ delivers one of the best choruses in Weezer’s long career and the self-harmonizing ‘I Need Some of That’ features some of their most true-to-form lyrics: “Even if we blow up, we’re never gonna grow up.” The way in which Weezer is able to marry the strengths of their idols to their own endearing brand of nerdiness is commendable, but it doesn’t last very long. If you’ve listened to Van Weezer’s singles even one time, then you’ve already heard the very best that this album has to offer.

Perhaps the most “Weezer” thing about Van Weezer is how frustratingly inconsistent it is. So much of the tracklist’s remainder is by-the-books filler: ‘All the Good Ones’ emulates the beat of ‘Beverly Hills’ and is mind-numbingly repetitive, ‘Beginning of the End’ launches right into electric guitar solos with zero regard for song progression/structure, and ‘Blue Dream’ starts off as a precise rip-off of Ozzy Osbourne’s ‘Crazy Train’ while failing to evolve into anything interesting on its own merits. ‘1 More Hit’ subjects us to a half-century old man singing “Pump it up into me / Please daddy, please daddy”, Precious Metal Girl will just make you uncomfortable with “You're my platinum blond with your spandex on / My pot of gold at the rainbow room”, and you’ll feel your eyes roll back into your head when you hear “Man, if you'd seen this girl about two years ago / Seen her then, and seen her now, I swear you'd never know / That who you were seein' was the same pistachio” actually sung on ‘Sheila Can Do It’. At best, Van Weezer’s non-singles are forgettable – at worst, they’re memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Thanks to Van Weezer’s hilariously long roll-out – the album was delayed a full year due to the COVID-19 pandemic, even though it has been completed all of that time – its pitfalls only become more glaring and magnified. To Weezer’s credit, they teased us with all the right songs – the three singles they released in advance were like an alluring package, tidied up with shiny bows and lustrous trappings. Unfortunately, we’re now finding that the box was empty the whole time, save for some groanworthy lyrics wafting out like a belch from an illiterate jack-in-the-box. It’s another Weezer gotcha moment, a gimmicky novelty album that has a handful of redeeming songs but will ultimately fade into the ether within a few months. Weezer might be having fun – and more power to them, seriously – but they’re only testing the patience of a loyal fanbase which is probably starting to grow tired of getting continuously bamboozled. Just kidding, I’m already hyped for their four disc Seasons boxset. Seriously, God help us Weezer fans.



Recent reviews by this author
Gregory Alan Isakov This Empty Northern HemisphereThe Antlers Losing Light
Silk Sonic An Evening with Silk SonicTaylor Swift Red (Taylor’s Version)
Braison Cyrus JavelinaCharles Wesley Godwin How the Mighty Fall
user ratings (205)
2.5
average


Comments:Add a Comment 
Odal
May 7th 2021


652 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Well-written as usual but I seriously could not disagree with this review more.



This thing on initial listen is one of the most fun records they have put out and is dripping with an almost awkward level of sincerity. I wouldn't put this up there with their very best, but I'd almost certainly rank it just below that tier. Between this and OK Human, Weezer are feeding us this year and I am here for it.

Rowan5215
Staff Reviewer
May 7th 2021


45892 Comments

Album Rating: 2.8 | Sound Off

mostly agree but Hero is absolute shit and Sheila is the best song on here, it's so lovable



this really should have come out before OK Human, it's flaws wouldn't have been so glaring

GarthAlgar
May 7th 2021


730 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

This band has become a literal shell of itself. Just god awful album. 80's metal worship with the most soulless production. Vocals are too clean, too cringe, and just too damn boring.

Sunnyvale
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2021


3048 Comments


What a summary...

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
May 7th 2021


42883 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

is there anything here as entertaining as I Can't Stop Partying?

Digging: Lali Puna - Scary World Theory

Sowing
Moderator
May 7th 2021


39686 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Great albums by these guys tend to come in pairs in my experience, so I was really hoping that VW would take Weezer’s classic sound and apply a metallic edge to it, forming the perfect complement to OK Human. The singles made it seem like it was possible (and I love Hero fwiw, awesome track and chorus), but then the other 7/10 tracks sort of just fell flat. This could be a 2.5 or even a 3 based on my mood, but this is objectively pretty bad and certainly disappointing no matter what lens you look at it through.

Digging: Converge - Bloodmoon: I

CaliggyJack
May 7th 2021


8045 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Disappointing. I was actually hyped for this one.



I hope one day they make another album like Pacific Daydream.

Odal
May 7th 2021


652 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

smdh did everyone on this site forget what fun was?

JesperL
Contributing Reviewer
May 7th 2021


3556 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

summary is better than the album

i think idk i'll listen to this maybe possibly at some point perhaps

CaliggyJack
May 7th 2021


8045 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I like The End of the Game but that's it.

CaliggyJack
May 7th 2021


8045 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Pacific Daydream is fun.



This is boring.

parksungjoon
May 7th 2021


38529 Comments


>smdh did everyone on this site forget what fun was?


lol

Gassman3268
May 7th 2021


175 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

Q: Two Weezer classics in the same year?

A: Two Weezer classics in the same year!!!



It's the Summer of Weezer and we are all living in it!

nol
May 7th 2021


9630 Comments


van weezer

Digging: Silk Sonic - An Evening with Silk Sonic

CaliggyJack
May 7th 2021


8045 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

more like van weezing

zakalwe
May 7th 2021


35037 Comments


Van Shizer



claygurnz
May 7th 2021


6676 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Can't lie I thought this was pretty solid

Ebola
May 7th 2021


4197 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I adore this band, but this record is as insipid as it gets. Make Believe with more guitar solos

zakalwe
May 7th 2021


35037 Comments


Christ

SteakByrnes
May 7th 2021


25473 Comments


ngl I thought this album was just going to be Van Halen covers and did not delve into any info about it

Digging: Volumes - Happier?



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2019 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy