Review Summary: Blissfully intertwined with beauty, angst, addiction and heartache. The best of Nirvana before the death of a legendary man.
Injecting heroin must have been something that the trio that made Nirvana up found to be essentially superb, despite the disadvantages of such addiction. However, the downfall of Kurt's demise was that particular illicit narcotic - as well as his mental health issues and political views (inside and outside the band).
When I first heard this album I learnt to play every Nirvana song on here within a week. In explicit terms, the band formed what is a part of my mind, body, heart and soul. Everything they embodied is perfection - the angry musicianship, the meaningful lyricism. Even the way Kurt conducted the band from beginning to end. However, in concise manners of speaking, In Utero was the last (and most probably the best) work the band did in their six year existence. Bleach and Incesticide contained attitude and a real focus on angst and powerful guitars, simplistic rhythmical abilities and most of all, compassion balanced equivalently with love, pain and hatred. Kurt had a ***ty life, no doubt about that. Seattle grunge changed the face of 90's rock music forever and even though Nirvana were undoubtedly the most famous, they were certainly not as good as Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains and the all the other American Heavy Rock/Metal bands who emerged during the grunge explosion.
Heart Shaped Box is probably my favourite song from the album. Pennyroyal Tea gripes me somewhat because it is just so repetitive. But the beauty and fragility of Dumb and All Apologies makes up for it tenfold. Insurmountably depressing yet exquisitely eloquent and brilliant, Nirvana essentially sold out the day Kurt "committed suicide". Personally, I'm not too sure about shooting a sawn-off shotgun through the back of the head whilst on downers is physically possible. Yet Cobain and company made real music with real messages. My perceptual beliefs and own issues with both marriage, romance, mental and physical wellbeing and particularly rock and metal music makes me who I am. The main issues I have with metal music is that unless it is perfected over time, with variation and passion, along with good musicians, tight rhythms and logic/melody/passion than there is no ***ing point whatsoever.
My message is simple - Bliss comes in many forms. Sex, drugs, rock and roll - whatever...
But remember one thing. Simple meaning are more profound than procrastination, obsessions, grudge matches with friends/enemies, the police, the government and in MY personal life, submissive behaviour. I had a good life until the death of my father in 2012. He loved Bob Marley, Michael Jackson, Bee Gees, techno, dancehall - everything really. But there isn't many styles of music that I cannot listen to all day, every day. When I bought my first electric guitar I practiced everything under the sun. The first riff I learnt was Come As You Are. Pentatonic scales, legato, Italian connoisseurs of writing (Machiavellian books, Virgil, Dante's Inferno) but most of all, I WANTED to be the best guitarist out there. A diet of 80's thrash, 60's progressive rock, 90's metal, punk, rock and scream filled me with knowledge. I can play anything. I've met all my heroes. Hahnemann is dead - Kurt is dead - *** me, Keith Flint from The Prodigy is ***ing dead. Essentially, what I'm trying to get at is this...
People die every die. In every country. Terminal illness, overdoses, peacefully, murdered, poisoned or even just comatose forever due to stress/anxiety/sexually transmitted diseases and of course, nature and nurture. I've studied everything in life., particularly music, communication, philosophy, psychology and everything other General Qualification that we are indoctrinated to study from age 2 -16. In truth, I have been psychotic. I've punched through doors, almost killed people who have scapegoated me, abused my friends, stolen money from me and even sexually abused some of my best friends, of every sex, age, background, ethnicity, creed and colour. I don't even need drugs in my body. I always have 99% oxygen levels and a pulse rate lower than 120BPM. I've done every pharmaceutical, every illicit and I can produce anything I want. From letters to lies, criminal thinking patterns and reports and especially music reviews.
Conclusively, I will never forget listening to Nevermind on Scuzz at my Nan's house in 2000. Smells Like Teen Spirit, along with the Big Four and everything else from funk, soul, jazz, deathcore, black metal, melodic death metal or even simple pop music, inspires me to live for not only my real blood family but all the people who have witnessed me play guitar, drums, bass, keyboard, piano, violin, flute. Over my 27 years since I was born, I've disregarded God and Satan.
I am a deity, an entity and a right wanker most of the time. However, I love my life and I regret what I haven't done, not the things that are under the bridge and resting in my father's crematorium. All I ever wanted was to loved, respected and treated with truth rather than lies. If I am a junky, than what of all musicians?
Cocaine and heroin are illicit because they cannot be taxed by anybody. Drugs have existed since Pre-Cambrian times. All this Christian bullocks concerning Jesus Christ as a martyr is all well and good but he was a man descended from Heaven who simply talked, walked, spoke, choked, and was crucified for being passionate. I am a Nietzsche-Machiavellian Political Scientist. Businessman, musician and fellowship of philanthropy and words. I discovered Death when I was born - alone, cold and literally doomed after being released from my mother's vagina.
If I get reborn, I want to be a phoenix. Or God. Or maybe just Lucifer. But Heaven and Hell are simply circles of beliefs...
On Earth, we live because of progression and regression, depression and insanity, democracy and illusion and pathetic people that sin without redemption. I've been on anti-psychotic medication for twelve years. I was on benzodiazepines when I was eleven (Lorazepam) and I smoked cannabis for 10 years every day without fail. My mother made me homeless, beat me up, got me arrested, thieved my father's sanity, mentality and health and he was only 54 when he passed on. Before I start blubbering, I just want to say one final thing before submitting this review.
Life is short. So ***ing kill time wisely and make money, spend money, have sex, and be virtuous. The world is a lovely place when people give, receive, hate and bleed. I've earned thousands and wasted the majority of my life in institutions, hospitals, car parks, streets, alleyways, corridors and most of the time, off my ***ing rocker on illicit drugs. I don't care. I'm responsible for me, myself and I. The story goes like this...wear your heart on your sleeve and let the science-fiction do the work. Schwarzenegger taught me everything I needed to know when I watched Judgment Day at age seven with my dad. Predator was just as good but the Governor was easily (and still is) the Austrian Death Machine.
Erase the past, mould the future and believe in dreams. Forever and ever believing in souls, drifting away in oceans of apathy, empathy, regret and vengeance. I love everyone. Buddhists and Shaolin Monks are wise for a reason.
Hallowed be thy name, are father who art in Heaven. Compliance may be compulsory but at the end of the day, everyone is born, they dream and eventually they die. But innocence, loyalty, love, courage, wisdom, knowledge, willpower, technique, skill and even fluctuations on the air are all missions we need to accomplish in life. Schizophrenia literally means a broken mind. If insanity is freedom, why do we exist? Because of beauty.
Tragedy and despair are very important. I've grieved over the loss of all my friends, lovers, enemies, acquaintances and most importantly, my experiences with drugs. Bill Hicks is my favourite comedian. Sigmund Freud was a crack head. Hitler was a Jewish megalomaniacal idiot who "struggled" because America and Britain are the true countries where freedom and choice exist in permanent states. Third World countries are poor because of reasons we cannot change. If I earned 100,000 pounds a year as a criminal psychologist, I'd spend the whole lot on everyone I know, even if it was a pack of cigarettes or an ounce of heroin and crack. I have no choice. I am a junky. But in my heart, I know I can stop. I just don't want to just yet.
In exemplification, I regard this album as a classic in every respect. Right from the beginning to the end, everything sounds perfect. I just think Kurt was far too young when he "died". RIP. Long Live the battle of life and death. The triptych...
That's all folks. Drugs are bad m'kay...
Heart Shaped Box
But essentially, the best grunge album of the 90's.