Review Summary: New air, same me.
Complacency. It’s something I’ve battled with for quite a few years now, but it’s not a word I had really associated with until relatively recently. I was simply content with my life, in and out of thoughts about whether University was the path for me, or if maybe I was just destined to work a job that, sure, gave me enough endorphins to keep me going, but in reality, I longed for that missed opportunity. And so that leads me here, to a place I am entirely unfamiliar with, with people I am yet to become accustomed with, doing a degree I am wholly sure will bring me joy but perhaps not stability, wondering if complacency would have gotten me here.
And you know what? It wouldn’t have. The rough intro to ‘Never Meant’ blares as I sit in my room, one thousand kilometres from family, friends, my complacency. Despite Mike Kinsella’s simple yet effective words;
You can’t miss what you forget; it contrasts the situation. Perhaps, in due time, my complacency will simply be a forgotten memoir of simpler times. Times in which I wasn’t sure of myself. ‘The Summer Ends’ plays on;
Let’s just see what happens/when the summer ends; only one month away until Autumn, a season that brings both excitement and worry. When things really begin to shift gear. Where complacency is long forgotten and a new way of life presents itself. A rhythmic snare roll carries on as these thoughts rack my brain and the song winds down.
‘Honestly?’ makes me double-take;
How does it feel/To know/We’ve rewritten history; the methodical build-up of guitars bustling as the song soldiers on. Although my history is perhaps not the one Mike had written about, it still rings true. A triumphant thought that contrasts the earlier doubts; one that, although not lingering for long, resonates quickly and heavily, resulting in the complacency leaving me. Replaced by something more. ‘For Sure’ and its beautiful trumpet intro attempts to derail me;
To say for certain/whether this uncertainty is for sure; I’m going back on my doubts. Rethinking, reimagining the last time this all fell apart. I had a safety net. I was complacent. Both sure and unsure of my future, how I could deal with something so irreversible if left too long. These thoughts don’t leave as the instrumental ‘You Know I Should Be Leaving Soon’ carries a hefty weight; an atmospheric song that represents the inability to leave something you know is for the best. Bustling leaves around me. I go back to the Autumn thoughts. Summer. Complacency.
Thankfully, ‘But The Regrets Are Killing Me’ tries its best to help me through;
A long goodbye with mixed emotions/Just fragments of another life; it surely is for the best that I stray away from imagining what could have happened. What would have happened. My complacency was getting the best of me. This new place is contrasted by the heavy bass beat, one that props me up and keeps me concentrated. This backtrack is further nullified by follow-up ‘I’ll See You When We’re Both Not So Emotional’;
You may accidentally misinterpret honesty for selfishness; a pained track that soothes me rather than creating panic. I know my decision, not allowing my complacency to get the better of me. Sure, I just left my whole life 1000 kilometres away, but this is me taking control, removing the old complacent me with one that doesn’t hesitate, one that both understands and cherishes the fact that I did this on my own. My life is my own now. And I couldn’t be happier.
It’s at this point, then, that ‘Stay Home’ rolls through its eight-minute runtime without so much as an afterthought;
But that’s life/So social/So physical/So so-so/So emotional; it’s reassurance. My complacency is devoid of meaning at this point. It’s merely something best left behind me. And what better way to go about it; a revisit through the last three months of doubts, misunderstandings, goodbyes. But,
that’s life. It’s merely the beginning of something new. Something unexplored, previous unknown. And as instrumental closer ‘The One With The Wurlitzer’ concludes the album and my long-winded trail of thoughts, only one thought remains.
New air, new me.
