Review Summary: it was great
It all started when I received this EP from my friend. It was by a band called Neutral Milk Hotel and the EP was called
Everything Is. I came home during a break from College and decided to show my parents. My friends eyes were bloodshot with veins making themselves heavily visible when he gave me this, but he was a homeless drug addict so I just assumed he was high. As I sat my parents down to listen the first track played called
Everything Is, I could hear a beautiful array of odd lyricism and guitar distortion. It was a good track, but as it played my father jumped up and began to scream "IT BEGINS HERE. IT ALL BEGINS HEAR." My mother began gyrating for no discernible reason as my father ran outside with the wireless stereo and turned the volume to max.
It was then the second track
Snow Song Pt. 1 began to play. I was sort of put off by its unorthodox composition, but I could still see the quality in Magnum's production. As the track played, all of our neighbors began coming outside to listen. Suddenly, our next-door neighbor started shooting his Winchester out into the sky as the woman across the street from us began dry humping a fire hydrant. Things began to get even worse as the longest track
Aunt Eggma Blowtorch played. It was a combination of synth distortion and radio feedback with heavy reliance on cymbals. I was surprised at the depth the song had despite its odd nature. It was then that our neighbor began shooting all of the blonde women on the street, leaving about seven dead bodies.
As police questioned me at my home about the incident, one of the officers turned on the radio despite me deliberately telling them not to. What then began to play was the final track of
Tuesday Moon. It was an unfortunately short track that broke up the atmosphere the previous tracks did such a good job of bringing. That didn't stop the officers from suddenly breaking out into an argument over Mexican hookers and Marilyn Monroe as the homeless veteran from down the street burst through our front door. He pulled out an old grenade he had kept from the war and threw it down. It exploded, killing the officers and my parents. I am now back at College lucky to be alive, but I am now an orphan. I have also been diagnosed with insomnia, tuberculosis, and explosive diarrhea.
On the bright side; Cheryl got run over by a train yesterday. Granted, I was the one who tied her down to the train tracks but that is irrelevant.
