Review Summary: CAUTION: Do Not Enter. Biohazard.
The Scientific Method as used on St.Anger
Experiment Components: 1 Heavy Metal band*
1 multimillion-dollar producer
Several wads of cash
1 personality crisis
Several «return-to-our-roots»-type announcements
1 musically shaky decade
Several rehab sessions
Several liters of alcohol
A very small amount of Inspiration
Several internal conflicts
1 missing bass player
1 minimal production
1 bruised credibility
A few modern metal influences
1 marked increase in heaviness
*The above component is a cluster consisting of four components: bass,vocals, guitar, drums
Hypothesis: The following experiment aimed to prove that all of its components mixed together would produce a positive, well-rounded, fulfilling final product.
Method: All of the components were mixed together in one round plastic surface. The results were checked twice before conclusions were drawn.
Observation: Observation has showed that the rehab, alcohol, personality crisis, inner conflict and excessive cash elements have had a pronounced corroding effect on the Inspiration component. In addition, the rehab element exerted noticeable corroding action upon the vocals part of the Band cluster.
The missing bassist component had a marked evanescing effect upon the bass part of the Band cluster.
The shaky musical decade and «return to roots» components had a further bruising effect on the credibility element.
The multimillionaire producer and minimal production components caused a marked reduction in the quality of the finished product. These components had a particularly noticeable effect on the drums part of the Band cluster.
The small amount of Inspiration present had a reducing and simplifying effect on the guitar part of the Band cluster. Evolution is non-present in this element of the cluster.
The modern influences component further contributed for the decreased quality of the finished product.
It has also been noted that the decrease in quality and inspiration was more pronounced on some parts of the finished product (
Purify.
All Within My Hands,
Shoot Me Again) than on others (
Frantic,
St. Anger,
The Unnamed Feeling). However, even in such cases where the reduction is less pronounced, the waning effect on the guitar component is still noticeable to a great extent.
The waning in the vocal component is particularly evident on the
Sweet Amber part of the finished product, particularly in the chorus portion of said component.
The increase in heaviness has been considered the only positive component of this study, although it is subject to a highly corrosive effect when put in contect with all other components.
Conclusions: The experiment has showed that the mixing of all the components could not be regarded as a satisfactory final product. The experiment cannot therefore be Q.E.D’d.
Recommendation: The components work well together on occasion, as proven by the
Frantic and
St.Anger parts of the compound, but should not be employed in any considerable time-span. The longer these components are in contact with each other, the worst the results will get. Please DO NOT repeat attempted experiment.
For the Metallica Institute for Musical Perfecting,
The supervising scientist,
ReturnToRock, Ph.D.
(Masters Degree in Headbanging from the International School of Rock)
