zaruyache
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Last Active 12-14-22 2:25 am
Joined 04-03-09

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02.13.24 !!Zaru's ELITE 2023 LIST!! 10.27.23 10-27-23 new music wow
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07.27.18 MIGRATION FEST PITTSBURGH02.14.18 I need decent headphones halp
02.05.18 CLOVERFIELD PARADOX12.21.17 2017 Films I Saw Ranked
10.22.17 2K Ratings Wahooo08.28.17 Dat GoT s7 Finale
04.07.17 1000 Soundoffs (You Blew It!)04.02.17 Rick n Morty Yo
01.27.17 January 2017 recs?07.28.16 Black Metal Bandcamp 2016 edition
07.08.16 Pokemon-Go03.06.16 April 1st 2016 in Music
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2017 Films I Saw Ranked

There are admittedly a lot of acclaimed films from this year I still haven't gotten around to seeing, but here's mah list of junk I saw (mostly in theaters or Netflix) from this year.
36Crap I haven't seen yet:

T2: Trainspotting
Sleight
Battle of the Sexes
Tragedy Girls
The Disaster Artist
The Shape of Water
I, Tonya
35The Dark Tower (2/10)

It's not even a western wtf lol.
34Fate of the Furious (3/10)

So stupid it hurt to watch.
33Ghost in the Shell (3.5/10)

At least the CGI looked good-ish? Otherwise it was a mess of a film.
32Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (4.5/10)

Wonderfully shot, pretty great CGI, beautiful colors everywhere--this film had everything going for it as a "big scifi" flick. Too bad the writing was so bad it made Cara Delevingne feel like she was reading from Natalie Portman's parts in Revenge of the Sith and the rest of the acting was just as flat.
31Wonder Woman (5/10)

Zack Snyder's hands are still all over this and it was still awkward everywhere. Some bad writing, more Snyder-esque slowmotion shots and random dramatic close-ups. Whole thing tried to be super epic but just came off cheesy every time. :/
30Kong: Skull Island (5/10)

From the stupid 3D slow-mo shots, to Kong using a ship propeller as a flail, this was a dumb af movie. It's so dumb I couldn't even enjoy it as a dumb, "take it as it is" movie. It was just dumb.
29Justice League (5.5/10)

Fun enough in an "I really need to enjoy this, please just let me pretend to enjoy this" kind of way, but still basically a load of junk writing and abhorrent CGI.
28Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (6/10)

It gets a 6/10 because ~star wars~, otherwise it'd probably be like a 5 for having a bunch of inconsequential plot points and character arcs and a general story that doesn't make sense at all.
27It Comes at Night (6/10)

The climax doesn't exist, but before that crappy ending this was a real nice tension-builder of a spooky movie.
26Raw (Grave) (6/10)

Someone told me this is a feminist film but idk where that comes in between the protagonist trying to balance vet school and eating people.
25Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (6.5/10)

Went to see it by myself, probably would've been funnier with my friends cracking up every time instead of just quietly noting humorous moments. Probably funnier than I initially took it, but as-is I was underwhelmed. Still, go see it.
24Dunkirk (6.5/10)

War movies yay.
23Beauty and the Beast (6.5/10)

Emma Watson can't actually since that well and that hurts my heart a lil bit.
22My Scientology Movie (6.5/10)

Some weird cultists troll a dude; dude pays people to reenact events from the church of scientology including actions by their creepo totally-not-a-violent-sociopath leader.
21John Wick 2 (7/10)

When you know he's not gonna die it sort of takes the tension out of fight sequences since you know he'll just keep walking it off each time.
20Ladybird (7/10)

A lot of good writing here. Idk go see it.
19Gerald's Game (7/10)

Don't play kinky sex games if you have a heart condition, and for the love of god close the door when you come in the house (or else terrifying things will happen to you, apparently). Never read the Stephen King story but the film's hella good.
18IT (7/10)

Thought it was gonna be not good, turned out was surprisingly not-ungood. SpooOoOoOoky and hilarious.
17Logan Lucky (7/10)

Second best Logan movie of the year. Adam Driver and Channing Tatum are hillbilly bank robbers. It definitely has Steven Soderbergh's identifiable style of humor to it, basically like a redneck Oceans 11.
16Atomic Blonde (7/10)

Fantastic fight sequences and fight editing.
15War for the Planet of the Apes (7/10)

not as gud as the prev film but still solid enough.
14Colossal (7/10)

"Anne Hathaway standing in a sandbox summoning and controlling kaiju in South Korea that are a metaphor for her alcoholism," the movie.
13Life (7/10)

scifi pretty good
12Get Out (7/10)

don't trust wyte chikz
11Kingsman: The Golden Circle (7.5/10)

Objectively this wasn't that great of a film--pretty much everything from the action to the dialogue was at least a step or two down from the original--but it also felt a lot more loose and self-aware with its humor, which sort of gave it a bit more of an "oomph" in a "turn off your brain, it's a fun time" kind of way. It's much less serious but idek since it has Elton John and he was flawless.
10Mother! (7.5/10)

Didn't even know what this was supposed to be about when I saw it but it was terrifying nonetheless.
9Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (7.5/10)

The jokes felt a lot more natural in the first film, whereas here much of the writing felt obligatorily jokey, like there was someone forcing more humor into the script than was fitting just because "it's a jokey movie tho". Slightly disappointing given how great the original was, but still a solid follow-up.
8Split (7.5/10)

Shyamalan pretty much redeems himself.
7What Happened To Monday (8/10)

Noomi Rapace is just really cool and this is nice neato scifi.
6Baby Driver (8/10)

Trailers made this seem hella dumb but it expertly directed and choreographed. The soundtrack is just about as well-used as in Guardians of the Galaxy, which is saying something.
5Spiderman: Homecoming (8/10)

Best spiderman film don't even argue.
4Thor: Ragnarok (8.5/10)

Often felt like they were just throwing as many jokes at the wall as they could, so the humor was fairly hit-or-miss but the sheer volume of jokes made you almost forget about all the moments that fell flat. Not revolutionary, but just a solid fun superhero flick. It's also basically scifi so it gets more points for that, too.
3Blade Runner 2049 (8.5/10)

Gorgeous film, gorgeous directing. Denis Villeneuve is the new king of scifi.
2Lego Batman (9/10)

Not as great as the Lego Movie, but is still loads of fun and miles ahead of anything from the current DCU and probably will still be for years to come.
1Logan (9/10)

Not a very original pick, but aside from the Terminator-y X-24 bit this was pretty perf for a superhero flick, despite basically just being a scifi-dystopia/western.
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