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Staff
Reviews 86
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Last Active 01-03-23 11:21 pm
Joined 06-03-16
Review Comments 26,172
| | Neek'd: Spider-Man (films) | | 9 |  | Soundtrack (Film)
Spider-Man 3
2.9 // dir. Sam Raimi
Oh, Spider-Man 3… y’know, in some ways this one’s kinda underrated. The Parker drama fails as a compelling follow-up to 2 (how many times can the same MJ arc happen?), but this is a zany and entertaining movie overall. Venom straight up doesn't work, but Sandman is a fairly sincere villain, and both of them are visually compelling and add to the film in their own ways. James Franco’s Green Goblin feels awkwardly plotted, but the actors are up to the task as always to make things believable here. Honestly, this is just as memorable and iconic and the first two in a lot of ways, but Raimi (and the screenwriters) get too lost in the plot to bring the drama to life this time around. | | 8 |  | Hans Zimmer
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
3.4 // dir. Marc Webb
People can’t stand this one for understandable reasons. The plot is a drawn-out mess with too many elements vying for attention, there are too many undercooked villains, and… well that’s about as much as I agree with. Whine all you want, the core of this film is Spider-Man and Gwen Stacy, and this part just fucking works. Garfield and Emma Stone have incredible chemistry, which makes the conclusion all the more devastating. Bad movies can’t make me ache the way I do when her head snaps back into the concrete. So we’ve got an action film with a strong core, absolutely fucking kinetic action sequences, and a great sense of style. It checks all the important boxes. | | 7 |  | Michael Giacchino
Spider-Man: Far From Home
3.6 // dir. Jon Watts
In Homecoming, Iron Man’s presence seemed like a smart way to introduce him into the MCU and provide a tricky father figure—but now that he’s dead, Stark’s presence is somehow even more overcooked to the point where this sometimes feels like Iron Man 4. At this point, none of these villains are Spider-Man’s and even Gyllenhaal’s brilliant Mysterio (the high point of the film) is out for revenge… on Iron Man. It’s a frustrating cicrumstance, and dragging Holland out on a globe-trotting adventure removes him even further from what makes him Spider-Man. It finally all comes together in a delirious third act with real stakes and fantastic action, but it takes far too long to get there, and a lot of aspects that made the first one work simply don’t here. I like this one less the more I think about it. | | 6 |  | Soundtrack (Film)
Spider-Man
3.8 // dir. Sam Raimi
A nice warm-up from the Raimi crew, this one gets by on charm and fireworks alone. The drama here often feels too staged to land here, and for all the love Dafoe deserves for his performances, the script does not lend his character the weight he deserves. It’s clear to see that superhero films were in its infancy, as we see Raimi strive for a serious tone among the zaniness that lands more often than not. With a weaker cast and director, this film would flounder, but its clear that this isn’t a film that gets by on nostalgia only—it’s got huge helpings of muscle and heart to boot. | | 5 |  | James Horner
The Amazing Spider-Man
3.9 // dir. Marc Webb
A genuinely strong debut for Andrew Garfield, with a great sense of plot and purpose throughout. It’s truly admirable how this film manages to emulate the beats of Raimi’s debut without replicating them, and how nearly every element of the plot weaves it way into each other. It feels dense, invigorating, and the performances have such an ease to them that it more than makes up for a lack of engaging setpieces and propulsive action. Webb directs with a great sense of sympathy and scope, and I’m frankly surprised by how well this lands even years later. | | 4 |  | Michael Giacchino
Spider-Man: No Way Home
4.0 // dir. Jon Watts
Three films in, and aren’t we just sick of Holland’s Spider-Man being such a fuckup? The first act of this film is dreadfully dull, forcing the audience to sit through 45 minutes of college applications, reminding us Iron Man is dead (again!!), and Doctor Strange being irritable. So the film fails at being a good Holland film, but it more than makes up for this by reintroducing the Spider-Man heroes and villains of yore to surprising effect. Garfield (forever underrated) and Maguire add so much to this film, rounding out their characters with a graceful bow full of affecting moments and poignant self-love. The villains are engaging throughout even if they make less and less sense as it goes, and the resolution is a bit of a head-scratcher, but as an action film it's just thrilling, immensely satisfying stuff. | | 3 |  | Michael Giacchino
Spider-Man: Homecoming
4.2 // dir. Jon Watts
A surprisingly effective re-introduction to the character, Watts and Holland imbued Spider-Man with great humor and heart the first time around. The film is a punchy joy all around, from its brisk pace to its engaging setpieces. Keaton works magic as a scene-stealing villain, and Holland’s naivety is never more believable than it is here. The connections to the MCU are strong but not as forced as they are later, and somehow neither does the high school drama elements. This is the one where everything worked just right. | | 2 |  | Soundtrack (Film)
Spider-Man 2
4.4 // dir. Sam Raimi
The gold standard for Spider-drama, Spider-Man 2 works so well largely due to the time and consideration spent on the character work. Whereas the first installment was somewhat cartoony, 2 managed not only to gift serious depth to its main cast, it also delivered a well-rounded villain to heighten the stakes. Doc Ock is framed as a Universal monster, a sympathetic scientist driven mad by his own creation, and his scenes (especially his iconic “awakening”) still land pitch-perfect years later. Maguire and Dunst glow in their roles, lending a quiet earnestness that never allows the melodrama to feel overwrought. Raimi just nailed this one. | | 1 |  | Soundtrack (Film)
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
4.8 // dir. Bob Persichetti / Peter Ramsey / Rodney Rothman
Funny to think how most people (including me) laughed off this film on announcement. An animated Spider-Man featuring yet another new incarnation of its protagonist while the MCU had just kicked theirs off seemed like overkill even for a character that’d been rebooted twice in less than a decade. But if any character can survive superhero saturation, it’s Spider-Man. This is a brilliant, moving, and beautiful animated film that pops off the screen with engaging characters and a dense, wonderfully melodramatic plot. It’s a joy to watch in every moment, and its action sequences are anything but routine. This didn’t just prove that Spider-Man movies still had life in them, but the superhero genre as a whole. | |
neekafat
02.07.22 | come at me | ShadowRemains
02.07.22 | think the original raimi should be higher but other than that, can't really disagree with a lot of this (aside from the spider-verse shit) | theBoneyKing
02.07.22 | Spider-Verse sucks, worst Spider-Man movie and I’m not even kidding. | SitarHero
02.07.22 | Haaaaaaaaaaaard disagree with Raimi's first spider man being below the Webb one. I mean, Garfield was a better casting than Maguire, and they actually let Parker build his own tech instead of having spider spooge (as hilarious an allegory as that was for puberty), but it was almost completely unnecessary and derivative. Watching Martin Sheen dance around the "great power great responsibility" speech made made my teeth cringe. | Slex
02.07.22 | 1 and 2 are correct, based | rockarollacola
02.07.22 | 1. Spiderman 2 - self explanatory
2. Spiderman - BLASSIC
3. Spiderman 3 - A hot mess, but a lovable one
4. Homecoming - solid, very enjoyable for an MCU film
5. Spiderverse - Pretty and entertaining, but the soundtrack gets obnoxious fast
6. Far From Home - typical, forgettable MCU film
7. TASM - Acceptable, but unremarkable in every way
8. TASM 2 - A complete shitshow, but not in a fun way like SM3
Haven't seen the newest one, but I've heard good things. | Slex
02.07.22 | Spiderverse is a head-spinning knockout instant classic WHAT in the fuck is wrong with yall lmao | rockarollacola
02.07.22 | It's alright | EoinCofa
02.07.22 | 1 is 1! Just watched it for the nth time. | Emim
02.07.22 | TASM2 belongs on a different list entirely. That movie is so bad.
Spiderverse is freaking amazing. It'd probably go Spidey 2 and Homecoming after that. | neekafat
02.07.22 | Bizarre that some think Spiderverse is bad but they’re probably all 35+ so who cares
Will not stand for the TASM2 slander but whatever I’m used to it | Emim
02.07.22 | TASM2 is poo juice I'm sorry | ReturnToRock
02.07.22 | My rating, worst to best.
SM3. Yeah, EVERYONE agrees this is bottom. And it would have been easy to fix, as well - just focus on Sandman (great villain arc, and far and away the best thing about the film) with a side of Peter/symbiote Secret Wars drama to help pique interest, and ditch Hobgoblin (WHY is he there) and Green Goblin. That would have actually made for a decent film and fixed this one's main issue, namely how muddled and bag-of-cats it feels. With that said, the 'how many times can the same MJ arc repeat' is INCREDIBLY accurate to the comics, though, second only to 'the Green Goblin returns' and 'Aunt May may die' in terms of how many times it's been brought back over the years.
Amazing 1 - Objectively not a bad film. Garfield is MUCH better than Tobey at actually being Spider-Man. With that said, I HATE HATE HATE his portrayal of...whoever THAT guy is. He is certainly NOT Peter Parker. Peter Parker DOES NOT skateboard indoors at school and then talk back to a teacher who reprimands him. Peter Parker DOES NOT wear a douche coiff. Putting a pair of glasses on now and again does not instantly make you a nard, Hollywood. It's so bad, I can't even enjoy one of my favourite character actors as Lizard - although this does conform to the 'Rhys Ifans makes everything better' school of thought, as it would have been even WORSE without him. ARGH! /Rant
Amazing 2 - This one is kind of here by default. It's MILES better than the first (mostly because it dials down Peter's not-Peterness, and brings him closer to his post-high-school ripped-photographer-with-celebrity-wife persona) and has the single best representation of comicbook Spidey of any film thus far, on the opening scene. With that said, it still shoehorns Goblin in (literally) out of nowhere - because every Spider-Man film needs to have Goblin in it somehow, apparently - and then botches literally the only thing he needs to be there for (Gwen is supposed to fall off a DIFFERENT tall place, movie!) Still, I don't hate it, and unlike the first, it's not in my collection just for completion's sake.
Far From Home - Again, here by default. Not a bad film, but not a patch on Homecoming. I do love Gylenhaal's Mysterio and the Peter/MJ dynamic, though. Not much to say, just a fun minor movie in the MCU.
(1/2) | ReturnToRock
02.07.22 | Spider-Man 2 - I place this lower than most people because of how much I HATED the ending as a jaded 'that-would-never-happen-irl' teenager. Objectively really good, though...
Spider-Man 2002 - I'm biased, because I watched this movie at age 16, while pretty much being Peter Parker in real life, so the first third of it still hits me every time. With that said, scenes of Dafoe talking to his mask are incredibly goofy, and the CGI on Goblin is incredibly iffy. This is, however, the ONLY movie where Goblin's presence as a villain is justified, so it gets extra points for that. Oh, and Kirsten Dunst is pretty much perfect as MJ.
Homecoming - My favourite live-action Spidey to date. Tom Holland makes for the perfect 21st-century woke-generation update of the Peter Parker character, and every aspect of him rings true (of COURSE he and his buddy are building a LEGO Death Star together.) The story, for as low-key and low-stakes as it is, works perfectly, and Zendaya makes for a great (not)-MJ - her dynamic with Peter is awesome, she is every bit his equal except for the whole powers thing - a trait which gets amplified in Far From Home. With that said, the whole thing with Spider-Man basically being Mini-Me Iron Man feels like a cheat - this isn't, and is not supposed to be, Tony Stark's film. MCU would not shut up about the guy at the time, though, so it makes sense - still, he could have hijacked somebody else's film that I care less about...
Spider-Verse - Again, EVERYONE agrees this is the best Spider-film ever made - and it definitely deserves that hype. It blew my mind the first time I watched it, and is still a beautifully realized film on repeat watches - incredibly funny, with extremely realistic and relatable characters, and just a rollercoaster ride of a plot all the way through. When my only nitpick about a film is that one of the side characters should have been in it more (needz moar Spider-Pig!!!) that should tell you all you need to know about how much I rate this movie.
Haven't watched No Way Home yet, so no thoughts on that one, obviously.
Anyway, decent list, Neek. I only thing you have Amazing 1 too high - and as a result, Raimi 1 too low.
PS I'm over 35. | StormChaser
02.07.22 | No Way Home is #1 in the live action category | Kompys2000
02.07.22 | Normally you can instantly kill my enjoyment of a movie by including multiverse bullshit in the plot but the animation and direction on spiderverse is kinda objectively godtier hmmm
I am still affronted by any and all raimi disrespect but this is maybe possibly a not-bad ranking | theBoneyKing
02.07.22 | I really did not get Spider-Verse at all. Thought it was boring AF, slept through half of it and didn’t feel I was missing anything… Guess maybe I should give it another try but I don’t have the motivation | fogza
02.07.22 | Yeah I would have gone a different way, ranking doesn't work for me | Gyromania
02.07.22 | spiderman 3 below amazing spiderman 2 is a joke. how anyone could watch spiderman 3 and not laugh and derive infinitely more entertainment out of the rly shitty generic amazing spiderman movies is beyond comprehension | neekafat
02.07.22 | figured me liking Amazing Spider-Man 2 would tick some people off but... guys I literally put it second-last | fogza
02.07.22 | Agree with boney, I have zero idea why everyone likes spiderverse so much. It's vaguely ok | fogza
02.07.22 | I get I'm in the minority here for sure, just don't get what makes it so amazing for everyone else, I didn't click with it at all. | Lord(e)Po)))ts
02.07.22 | This is not great as homecoming and far from home are terrible but enter the spiderverse is indeed best but also in a different “the room” kind of way, so is Spider-Man 3 | Emim
02.07.22 | There are few movies that are more fun to watch with friends than Spidey 3. Revenge of the Sith falls into this category for me too. | SitarHero
02.07.22 | "There are few movies that are more fun to watch with friends than Spidey 3."
Honestly, this is kind of true. And that puts it higher than TASM 2 in my book. At least it's rewatchable for the laughs. | fogza
02.08.22 | Honestly, thinking about it, I only really like Spiderman 2 and 1 (Raimi versions). I like Garfield, Stone and DeHaan in the reboot movies, but they're not good movies. Similarly, I don't mind the cast in the MCU movies but they're also not good movies. Spiderverse is mildly amusing but it's not for me, I hate the multiverse angle (especially the lolrandom meme stuff). | ReturnToRock
02.08.22 | ^say what about Peter Porker, Spider-Pig?
(BTW, was I the only one aware of Spider-Pig already being a thing from the comics? I learned that from reading Wizard magazine back in the day.) | fogza
02.08.22 | "say what about Peter Porker, Spider-Pig?"
i guess it's great if you want to sell lots of toys lol | ReturnToRock
02.08.22 | Spider-Pig is one of the best things about that film. You can't go wrong with an anthropomorphic pig with the proportional powers of a spider who hits his enemies with a giant Looney Tunes cartoon mallet.
Also, the fact that there still isn't a Funko of him is mind-blowing to me. He already IS a Funko to begin with, it's the most no-brainer decision ever. | Kompys2000
02.08.22 | Spider-ham is very clearly there for the younger kids but most modern animated movies have a roughly equivalent character who's far more irritating and/or pointless | neekafat
02.09.22 | some cringe takes here to be sure, didn't realize some people were so strongly against Spiderverse lmao | fogza
02.09.22 | It's just me and boney but I wouldn't describe what I'm saying as cringe, that's just a really silly way to put it. | neekafat
02.10.22 | Well I am a really silly boi | fogza
02.10.22 | C'est la vie! | normaloctagon
08.19.22 | dear neeka,
i just rewatched spider man 2 and it was pretty bad. i think you should bring it farther down your ranking.
thanks,
norma | Trebor.
08.19.22 | Amazing Spider-Man 1 is trash | normaloctagon
08.19.22 | yeah i started watching ASM1 and couldnt make it past 15 mins like what on earth | rockarollacola
08.19.22 | Spider-Man 3 is so dang good
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