Snide: What the fuck am I doing with my life?

Snide 08.23.16	I don't want to drink anymore than I already have tonight, but these thoughts are making it really goddamn hard not to. I don't want to think but it just feels like I'm trapped.
Snide 08.23.16	But what though? It doesn't help the fact that I feel like I've accomplished nothing. I get that financially through equity and shit I'm set, but dammit I just feel useless in my existence as a person.
zakalwe 08.23.16	Take a step back, breathe. Welcome to life, it does get better it does get worse its all worth it wait and see
Snide 08.23.16	@OvDeath: Even when I do "good" things, they just constantly get shit on. Like, not even three months ago I gave a friend 250$ so that they wouldn't get kicked out of their apartment. I also listened to this friend's problems constantly. Not even two weeks later, she says I'm a terrible human being because of my political beliefs, and says I was never her friend and was never there for her. Not to mention the three other people that ganged up on me at the same time along with her. @zak: I really hope it does, I'm sure billions of people have gone through these feelings but fuck it still hurts.
Futures 08.23.16	lol
Snide 08.23.16	@OvDeath: It's been piling up, I've been addressing a lot of pent up things against people that I interact with, and as such have been losing a lot of friends. It's taking a toll on me.
zakalwe 08.23.16	Why the fuck are yanks so self absorbed and emotional? I thought you lot paid psychiatrists to get this shite off your chest. Just do as your people do. Shoot something up and blame someone else, go into the dessert and start a cult. Eat a human being after keeping it in your fridge for a month.
Snide 08.23.16	I have no clue why I'm emotional zak, I really don't. Psychiatrists haven't done jack shit for me, medicine hasn't done jack shit for me bar make me feel like an absolute zombie. I get that you have to try to find the right psychiatrist and all but after a while constantly retelling your life story to a doctor is fucking exhausting.
Snide 08.23.16	OvDeath, that's the problem, I feel like most of the relationships in my life bar a few, require an abnormal amount of effort.
Snide 08.23.16	Honestly as shitty as it sounds, that's culture here in California. There's drama out the ass, and people jump to fucking conclusions without asking for the whole truth. I honestly just feel like I'm breaking down dude. I'm crying my eyes out, thinking of what the fuck my life has basically been. I feel like I need a fresh start but can't get one.
zakalwe 08.23.16	Get a dog. Seriously dude.
Snide 08.23.16	Ov but almost EVERYONE in my life fucking does that. Hell even my family does it sometimes. Zak, I already have a guinea pig that I can barely take care of. I fucking love the hell out of it.
CaimanJesus 08.23.16	Check the song no one is ever going to want me by giles corey
betray 08.23.16	record a slam album with me and we'll go on tour
Snide 08.23.16	@Caiman: Song was cool. @OvDeath: I can't just cut out family, I tried that before, ended up feeling like complete shit. I really want a dog but I don't know if I can take care of both a dog and a guinea pig right now. @Betray: I wish I could just pick up and go on tour, I seriously do.
Intothepit 08.23.16	One idiot giving advice to another idiot. Good god.
Intothepit 08.23.16	It's cute to see you try and be clever.
Snide 08.23.16	Intothepit what the fuck, OvDeath was just helping me with some advice. In what way does that warrant a reaction like yours?
betray 08.23.16	agreed its p funny to see him attempt to fabricate an argument or a dickish comment out of anything anyone says
Snide 08.23.16	I didn't pick up the bottle tonight. I feel a little accomplished.
manosg 08.23.16	Malachite, you are still very young to experience a mid-life crisis. As trite as it may sound, you have your best years ahead of you in order to achieve all that you wish. Life would be shit if at the age of 23 you had accomplished a number of goals. But what exactly are your goals? Find them and pursue them. I cannot give advice to people that I don't know through the internet and that's why I never participate in discussions like this one. But since I see that you have a job that is probably going pretty well, I'd suggest you to find a partner who understands you and loves you for who you are and stop over-analyzing shit. One constant, is that life is a struggle. What changes is us and how we cope with difficulties. And I can guarantee you that most of us become better with experience. Just my two cents and back to work!
Deathconscious 08.23.16	Fuck off snide, its never ending with you.
YakNips 08.23.16	snide i think ur probably a good guy but no one likes a whiny bitch. just tone down the bitch dial a little bit and i think you'll be golden
AsleepInTheBack 08.23.16	Hope you feel better soon man. Sounds like the kind of lost 20 something year old phase that most go through with extra shit like a breakup, it should hopefully pass. just find something you're passionate about and put everything into it (like this business?). From what you've written it seems like you've accomplished quite a bit man haha, don't be so hard on yourself
BallsDeep 08.23.16	just live day by day, thats what i do, and if you manage to find enjoyment every day then you're doing life right in my books, as long as your not stopping others from doing the same (unless they're cunts). Anyway you're doing fine from my point of view, sound like you've just had a little existential crisis and come to realize how monotonous and meaningless life ultimately is.
NorwichScene 08.23.16	You are the architect of your destiny, now stop sulking and go kick ass
doomjitsu 08.23.16	EVERYBODY GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING FLOOR THIS IS A ROBBERY!
doomjitsu 08.23.16	I SAID GET THE FUCK DOWN ON THE GODDAM MOTHERFUCKING FLOOR!
doomjitsu 08.23.16	[PROCEEDS TO SHOOT OVDEATH BECAUSE HE DIDN'T GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR]
doomjitsu 08.23.16	NOW LOOK AT YOUR HERO HE'S DOWN ON THE FLOOR TOO
doomjitsu 08.23.16	NOW MY BUDDIES IN THIS THREAD ARE GOING TO COLLECT YOUR WALLETS
doomjitsu 08.23.16	NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS BITCHES
doomjitsu 08.23.16	WE GOOD BOYS?
doomjitsu 08.23.16	HEY WE FUCKING GOOD?
doomjitsu 08.23.16	OH MY GOD IT'S OV FUKKKKIN DEATH HE USED HIS POWERS OF LISTENING TO WEIRD MUSIC FOR TOO LONG TO RESURRECT HIMSELF AND NOW HE'S ABOUT TO DEVOUR MY SOUL!!!!!
doomjitsu 08.23.16	NO PLEASE I'VE GOT ALBUMS TO CHECK I'VE GOT A UNIVERSITY TO GO TO DON'T KILL ME PLEASE TAKE ALL THESE WALLETS IF YOU WANT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
blacklightjer 08.23.16	Ffs
doomjitsu 08.23.16	i'm dead, life's a bitch
doomjitsu 08.23.16	peace to y'all
AsleepInTheBack 08.23.16	lol doom that was fantastic
rabidfish 08.23.16	Nothing we do matters. Wanting to be remembered is one of the reasons we as a species are fucking shite.
Tunaboy45 08.23.16	"and we're all gonna be just dirt in the ground" do what you love and work on yourself without giving a fuck about pleasing others
guitarded_chuck 08.23.16	oh my fucking god no one cares
guitarded_chuck 08.23.16	IM 12 YEARS OLD AND MY HORMONES ARE REALLY HIGH TODAY WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE
MO 08.23.16	every day with this shit wowee
BallsDeep 08.23.16	Sometime in late 2014 I watched The Cosmos right before exams and came to the realization that we are less than a speck of dust floating through the unfathomable vastness of the cosmos, and absolutely nothing any of us will ever say or do will matter or impact the universe in any way. Well I hardly studied at all after coming to that conclusion and failed 3 of the units and threw away about 10 grand. I definitely regret that in hindsight but then again it doesn't really matter does it.
guitarded_chuck 08.23.16	existentialism > nihilism
Tunaboy45 08.23.16	existentialism > nihilism [2]
BallsDeep 08.23.16	existentialism > nihilism [3] but misanthropism > both
guitarded_chuck 08.23.16	yeh but you sound more like a nihilist in the above situation than anything, which imo is a regrettable way to live you can dislike human nature yet still find your own purpose in life, take people living "off the grid" for example
tastepolice 08.23.16	"I feel like all I do is clamor for attention" like when you made this thread?
guitarded_chuck 08.23.16	lol
Keyblade 08.23.16	lol
iloveyouall 08.23.16	lol
Maniac! 08.23.16	lol
TheGreatQ 08.23.16	lol
emester 08.23.16	Even if this is genuine I still perceive it as bait. The lengths you go to attract attention are abnormal and honestly this post doesn't prove otherwise. Stop trying to prove yourself to others and just prove yourself to yourself
emester 08.23.16	Also constantly looking for validation only builds up paranoia so take a step back and think please
ZippaThaRippa 08.23.16	He even said please
botb 08.23.16	"I feel like all I do is clamor for attention" like when you made this thread? [9999999999999999]
botb 08.23.16	honestly, i'm sure you're not a bad kid. but you're maybe the most annoying narcissistic person i've ever seen anywhere, internet or my actual life included.
Snake. 08.23.16	""I feel like all I do is clamor for attention" like when you made this thread?" 6/10 heard it before
WatchItExplode 08.23.16	Why did it take like 70 posts to reach this inevitable conclusion?
zaruyache 08.23.16	Bc human nature makes us want to empathize, despite logic dictating that prob won't achieve anything here lol
guitarded_chuck 08.23.16	its innate behavior resulting from altruism "invest emotional in a person now so that we can use them in a future time of need" sort of deal
Snide 08.23.16	"like when you made this thread?" No, you're 100% correct. I am looking for attention. I have a genuine attention seeking problem that I've had since my early teenage years, and it just compounds and worsens all of the problems I listed above in my original post. Like this is why I listed that I clamor for attention in the original post. I don't WANT to clamor for attention, I want to find a way to fix this pathological need for it.
Flugmorph 08.23.16	find inner peace or alcohol
AsleepInTheBack 08.23.16	Alcohol
MO 08.23.16	yo boys ditch this thread and jump into the lifting one m/
DominionMM1 08.23.16	^uh huh
AsleepInTheBack 08.23.16	There's a lifting one?