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12.15.14 More Poor Usernames04.02.14 Username Problem

More Poor Usernames

ok so every fuckn time I visit this place I come across more humans with filth for tags (aka nicks ( aka usernames)))))))))) so I have returned to crusade against anyone who thinks introducing themsele as "hi my name is TOTAL FUCKEN GARBAGE" is a good idea.

ok so this Lakes. guy thinks im going to pull my hand out of my pants to get the punctuation right every time I type his name? buddy I don't even pull my hand out of my pants to punctuate half my sentences i've got more important things to do tbh. what's my hand in my pants for well its obvious aint it? im trying to wire up a transmitter to my dick so every time i get a boner it sends a text to user lakes telling him that punctuation is for children

well yeah this sounds badass, but there's one major issue here - marketafucknbility. your personal brand will suffer when you use a moniker like this. yeah sure you're a bad mother effr right now but in three years i guarantee you all the sponsorships dry up. try getting nike to do a nude photoshoot in your old high school theyll be like "fuk dat! DEATH school! AINT NOW WAY" i mean its your funeral dude if you really want tthe ladies and shit right this second go for it but be aware the future ain't too bright

sorry to break it to ya buddy but you'll always be a loser nerd. the 64 gives it away, it's clearly about the nintendo 64 rather than the year, so the whole "cool hot 50-year-old dude" bit doesn't work. plus putting "super cool" with nintendo 64 is like trying to sit at the cool kids table when you wear swim goggles and suspenders. if i met you in real life i would pants you, then pick you up by your undies for a mega atomjic wedgie, then i'd give you a fuckn swirly. nerd. sorry guys but nerds just get my goat lol know what i mean? anyways banging women, good stuff! *applause all around*

good names have the potential to make you think. like BMDrummer. at first i thought it was dumb because bowel movement drummer sounds dumb. then I realized that it's tough to drum and shit at the same time, so he must be a good drummer. ya know? the more you think the better it is?

now this is brand integration at it's finest. every post this man makes is advertising for thomas submachine guns, so the genius behind the keyboard here is mr. tommygun. content integration, brand marketing, ad revenue. it's an ecomonmic revolution man. plus if you really stretch it his name could also advertise for tommy booy the classic chris farley movie. because chris farley is tommy, and the one dude gets his shirt sucked into the mail and he has guns. absolute entrepreneurial genius this one

tbh have fun listening to fugazi you jobless hippie! (secretly: fugazi rocks but as a well-resepcted 'net content generator I can't acknowledge their political leanings) forrest gump is a movie about communists, jenny is a communist and she gets AIDS and dies. Slut will get aids and die like jenny, or like that one dangers song

bub what is the deal, is your target demographic 46-year old women? come on that pun is really bad. I recommend you change your name to Otherkin, because it's about time you were recognized buddy. have fun honking at cars that say honk if you like furries. don't do anythin gwith punctuation though. You're going to have to just leave it unmolested bubster. Don't shoot the messenger man

on the topic of shitty pun names we have this monkey. look at me. i can turn the name of one item of produce into another by switching two letters. wow. if you think this username will drop panties, you're worng. if you think this username will generate lots of advertising revenue, you're wrong. if you think this username is good, you're wrong. also your avatar is dumb. log off.
9Omaha staff

this username is very confusing. are you the staff of the town of omaha? or are you some sort of mystical artefact staff with the moniker of omaha? do you live in omaha and do you have a boner (aka a big staff)? these are the kind of questiosn you gotta anticipate when you fill in the username field. i mean really. plus omaha isn't even that cool a city. Detroit staff would be good if you want to maintain a hard image. Compton staff would be good if you want to pretned you're hard but are actually soft (like Kendrick Lamar) Seattle staff would be good if you smoke too much weed. Akron staff would never be good. fuck ohio. and now that I think about it ohio and omaha are too close to the same word. so fuck omaha too

jesus howard christ this is bad. what kind of name is this? did you just take the last thing you fucked and the last thing you ate and put them together when the site asked for a username?
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