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Reviews 2 Approval 100%
Soundoffs 5 Album Ratings 313 Objectivity 80%
Last Active 09-04-22 4:32 am Joined 01-28-09
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| 7 Reasons Why My Favorite Album Is Better Than Yours
I'm reasonably certain that Ra's album "From One" is infinitely better than all of your favorite albums put together. Why? Well, it's definitely not because I think you're a tasteless, raving lunatic. Read on to find the real reasons. Go ahead, read the *crap* out of this article. Mortals. | 1 | You can't HANDLE the vocals.
This guy (I'm talking about Sahaj) can harmonize like an entire choir rocking it out in the sistine chapel. He's got better range than a 110 mm cannon. Or a nuclear cruise missile, I don't care. His voice sounds Egyptian, which is good, but he's not egyptian, which is better. Finally, he can growl. Like a big-block engine, or a grizzly. Or a grizzly trapped in a big-block engine. | 2 | It's Egyptian. He's not.
I have an unhealthy obsession with Egyptian culture. Probably from too much Stargate or crap like that. As far as this ''music'' business goes, though, there's some sweet chords in there. And by there, I mean the song. And Sahaj's throat. | 3 | If you could put The Matrix in an album, this is it.
And I don't mean all the band members wear tight leather coats. Not all the time, anyway, so it isn't *that* creepy. Right, guys? Guys? But to explain this somewhat flawed analogy, this album has a nice blend of somewhat creepy tones and electronic vibes. So, really, it's the music that's creepy, not the musicians. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. | 4 | They have seven-string guitars. This is slightly more awesome than you can comprehend.
First off, I'd like to point out that Ra can actually *play* these guitars rather nicely as well. Better, in fact, than any of your favorite bands. (If you disagree, go eat a box of staples. : ) Anyway, they have sick guitar solos that are more powerful than a 990cc blender on nitrous, but less likely to destroy whatever appendages you care for. Also, it's pretty heavy. Sort of like the Earth, in that way. | 5 | The drums are better than an economic stimulus plan that not only works, but pays me twice my annual
"Violator" is a prime example for drumming excellence. I'm serious, here. It's funkier than a lime green camper van with a shag rug on the CEILING. (And a cooler in the back big enough to fit a body in. : ) Additionally, as a result of the zealous use of the double bass pedals, the drums are more aggressive than a dictatorial regime led by a former middle school tyrant. | 6 | It can be rather amusing at times. Inadvertantly.
"Skorn" has a very funny beginning. I don't mean 'funny' like that time you accidentally greased the stairs when your family was bugging you. I mean 'funny' as in creepy and borderline psychopathic, like when the lead singer of an awesome band tries to sound like a girl while delivering a poorly worded break-up. Yeah, that kind of funny. Of course, the song itself might cause you to retreat within your subconscious simply to shield yourself from such unbiased awesome, but that's what you get. Jerk. | 7 | Their songs are catchy, like a magnetic crane of pure awesome.
The first song is definitely the most catchy. Beware, lest ye find yourself singing it at inopportune times, like when falling to your death. For some reason I wouldn't know anything about, of course. First off, the intro itself is awesome enough to bring entire warring nations together for an age of prosperity and love. Second, the third song and my fourth favorite in this first album of first prize-winningness will also make you accidentally swallow your tongue. Again, from awesomeness. You see where I'm going with this?
In conclusion, these seven reasons are more than enough proof that "From One" is better than anything ever created by anyone for any reason anywhere. Yes, including you. You just can't measure up. I'm.... I'm sorry. | |
kintups
03.26.09 | I'd like to apologize that the many, lengthy and rather amusing (and/or offensive and reprehensible) descriptions and reasons for each... reason is not posted here. This system is crap for writing half-decent lists on, so therefore, I have included a fully decent list for your pleasure. My apologies for the inconvenience. | Chewie
03.26.09 | pwn list | willfellmarsy
03.26.09 | fail ra sucks | kintups
03.26.09 | @ marsy: while I appreciate your evidently well thought-out and well-worded opinion, I would like to point out that I neither see a reason for your flawed belief in your comment nor would care for any you may see fit to give. That being said: your overuse of the word 'fail' is most irritating. Sort of like corruption in the government, but in this case, I would love to torture as well as kill you for this oversight. : ) Jack Bauer will hear of this, I assure you. Sleep well. | jingledeath
03.26.09 | lol | Essence
03.26.09 | I applaud you on your flawless trolling of Marsy | badtaste
03.26.09 | I thought this was about Bette Midler. | SylentEcho
03.26.09 | bah! that album is ok. This list fails miserably. | BallsToTheWall
03.26.09 | List is win. | Gyromania
03.26.09 | too bad the matrix sucks eh? | Electric City
03.26.09 | SEVEN STRING GUITARS I JUST CAME | kintups
03.26.09 | @ gyro: I was talking about the first matrix. Guess I should have clarified that point. | PayneTiger777
03.26.09 | Lol at Jack Bauer comment. | xequalscore
03.26.09 | This was cool when I was like 14. | Bullitt
03.26.09 | Hell ya...ra is awesome. Not my favorite by any means but better than they get credit for. | NOTINTHEFACE
03.26.09 | Even though I hate Ra, this list is full of so much win, and I'll repeat Redannihilation in saying that your trolling of marsy was even more win. | PayneTiger777
03.26.09 | This list has been rectified. | SCREAM!
03.26.09 | The really funny thing is how so many people don't seem to realise he's joking......or i think he is D: | kintups
03.26.09 | @ SCREAM!: Am I joking? Am I serious? And will certain soulless individuals reconcile themselves with the fact that they simply cannot deal with Ra's sheer amounts of awesome? Find out tonight! | AngelofDeath
03.27.09 | Judging by his album ratings I don't think he's joking.
What's puzzling, however, is the fact that he can still think Ra, Tool, and Bjork are good after listening to Opeth, Dream Theater, and Mirrorthrone. | kintups
03.27.09 | @ AngelofDeath: Tool and Bjork's music is weird but is definitely better than a mouthful of Cadbury Mini Eggs. Ra was one of my first favorites... and still is, obviously. Opeth, Dream Theater, and Mirrorthrone are definetely all fantastic and stuff, but they're not the kind of thing I'd want to listen to every day.
| AngelofDeath
03.27.09 | Guess I'm the opposite. I like those 3 to some extent but I couldn't listen to them every day. | kintups
03.27.09 | If everyone had the same music preferences, I'd down right kill myself. | pizzamachine
10.28.10 | Best list ever. | Dismantle
07.10.11 | lold | SeaAnemone
07.10.11 | lol who the fuck would want The Matrix in music form that sounds really fucking horrible dipshit | pizzamachine
07.10.11 | fromtheinside!! Glad you like my list | Curse.
07.10.11 | sea holy shit calm down | Dismantle
07.10.11 | eric | pizzamachine
08.18.11 | this guy knows | tiesthatbind
08.18.11 | mods, feature plz | coneren
08.18.11 | where did this guy go | pizzamachine
08.18.11 | kintups is my old account | coneren
08.18.11 | im still not buying it | pizzamachine
08.18.11 | lol but it's true. Ask bloc! Ask Metalstyles! Ask Waior! | coneren
08.18.11 | god dammit pizza, im kidding. can you go on it now | acorncheese
08.18.11 | oh gesus christ | pizzamachine
08.18.11 | kintups was banned | coneren
08.18.11 | you should ask for to be unbanned | pizzamachine
08.18.11 | I've thought about it b4 | coneren
08.18.11 | now is the time for action | In2ThePit
08.18.11 | ACKSHUN. | iFghtffyrdmns
08.18.11 | long hair
don't care | In2ThePit
08.18.11 | This should be on Cracked.com | gypsyrick
08.18.11 | "His voice sounds Egyptian, which is good, but he's not egyptian, which is better."
...that's fucked up. | pizzamachine
12.07.11 | I 3.5'd it actually, for now. | taylormemer
12.07.11 | M/ | pizzamachine
10.11.23 | Wow, this was my first list. Zee memories! 🥺 |
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