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Contributor
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Last Active 03-15-20 11:11 pm
Joined 07-14-15
Review Comments 11,969
| Meshuggah ranked and a meatball parm recipe
This is exactly as the title suggests. Nothing pairs better with savory juicy balls of meat than bone crushing polyrhythms. | | 1 |  | Meshuggah
Nothing
You will need-2 pounds of pork and 2 pounds of beef (veal is commonplace but imo highly unnecessary and far too expensive).
1 large jar of a good quality sauce (my person favorite is carbone aranciata but it is pricey, tbh anything that isn't ragu will work since we're gonna doll it up anyway)
Garlic (5 large cloves)
Basil (I use dried but def use fresh if you actually think you'll use all the leaves in time)
Oregano
Mint (go light, mint is a potent flavor!!)
Thyme (the underdog seasoning)
1/2 a white onion if small, a quarter if large.
4 slices of white bread
Whole milk (idk like a half cup??? This gets eyeballed)
Half a dozen hoagie (sub) rolls
18 slices of provolone.
Salt and pepper | | 2 |  | Meshuggah
Chaosphere
Tear up bread into small pieces. Mince garlic fine and chop onion fine. Place in bowl with torn bread and season with the aforementioned seasonings lightly. Pour in milk until mixture is soggy but not quite overstuffed with milk. | | 3 |  | Meshuggah
obZen
Plop in ya meat. Add more seasonings until it uhhhh looks seasoned. Mix well and thorough. If you undermix you will get crumbly meatballs. If that is your desired texture then mix daintily. Get a pan moderately hot (medium high) with oil and preheat oven to 375. | | 4 |  | Meshuggah
Catch Thirtythree
Shape meatballs into desired size. The aim is roughly the size of a large golf ball for my preferences. Sear on pan, turning occasionally until there is heavy browning on most sides of your meatball. This will help implement a slight but pleasant roasty toasty flavor. | | 5 |  | Meshuggah
Destroy Erase Improve
Place meatballs in appropriate baking dish with sauce on top and extra seasoning to sauce as desired (imo Carbone and another brand called DeGrosso (not the big brand this one will have a grayscale picture o some old Italians on front) doesn't need any extra help. Place in oven covered for roughly 25-30 minutes. | | 6 |  | Meshuggah
Koloss
Bring out meatballs. Place on sub rolls and place them on a separate tray. Put back in oven with provolone on top. If desired, a fresh grating of reggiano absolutely rules. Keep in oven until nice n melty n nice. | | 7 |  | Meshuggah
The Violent Sleep of Reason
Eat ur food and get abhorrent amounts of sauce all over your fingers that you'll proceed to suck clean cause this recipe owns hard. | |
Dedes
05.12.25 | Goddamn meatball parm makes my soul sing | NexCeleris
05.12.25 | This ranking of store-bought sauce cannot stand! Homemade soffritto + passata all the way. | Dedes
05.12.25 | Man I just
Don't have the time for homemaking sauces more oft than not
And there are totally a few brands that do actually kind of rule hard
Although tbh the only sauce I ever personally made was at a deli I worked at where they though tossing 3 or 4 large carrots and a single hunk of meat into a 30 gallon sauce pot was enough to flavor it | NexCeleris
05.12.25 | I feel you, but it's really just the chopping part that requires time and attention. With a good knife, that's usually less than ten minutes, unless you're cooking by the gallon. Once everything's in the pot, it's just simmering at super low heat for ~25 minutes and a single stir around the halfway point is usually enough. Once the passata has been added, as long as you keep it on low heat, you can easily do chores, lift weights, doomscroll or what have you.
I've imported many brands of "high-end" premade sauces from Italy, but have yet to find one that beats the homemade, individually seasoned kind. | Dedes
05.12.25 | Ngl I was always under the impression it was a low and slow multihour process
Which IG even then to be fair you can just leave it to the pot then do w/e ya gotta do file taxes walk the dog wank off what have you | normaloctagon
05.12.25 | List riffs and parms and what have you | arthropod
05.12.25 | Why only 7? | Christbait
05.12.25 | 5 cloves seems a bit low compared to the 4 pounds of meat that's going into this. Also RIP to your bowels. Pair this parm sub with Mirolax for an exciting evening (and possibly morning) indoors. | Dedes
05.12.25 | I have v large garlic cloves on me atm
For standard garlic clove stature I'd go with more like 7 | Ocean of Noise
05.12.25 | Dude you can't sleep on Contradictions Collapse | SomeCallMeTim
05.12.25 | the image of NYC alone just makes you want a meatball parm or a greasy slice | Hawks
05.12.25 | 6 and 7 are my top 2 idk if we can be friends anymore. :[[[ | DungeonBoy
05.14.25 | The Bertolli traditional marinara jarred sauce is my favorite cheap sauce. Can normally find it for $2-3 on sale |
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