Metalheads on the internet? Some of the most critical and miserable people imaginable

Reviews 13
Approval 79%

Soundoffs 13
Album Ratings 2484
Objectivity 76%

Last Active 12-24-22 6:15 am
Joined 12-24-22

Review Comments 1,399

06.30.24 good artwork list and its the same but 06.28.24 Rating Envy?
06.07.24 Biblical Albums05.30.24 Steal These Albums!
05.25.24 A fowl assemblage of 101 death(ish) met05.21.24 I have no cred and am a complete poser
05.11.24 Fowl Work Playlist May '2405.06.24 A Fowl 25 GOAT Black Metal Albums
04.19.24 All Guitar Music Is BAD03.27.24 Redundigz
02.18.24 High on Listicles01.14.24 Menacing Music
12.21.23 Songs to pick your nose to12.17.23 8 Bad A7X Songs
12.04.23 Quick Digs05.11.23 Ranking the Slayer albums worth discuss

Rating Envy?

Do y'all ever see a rating that makes you jealous and gets you thinking, "Damn, this sure is one cool user."? List is shouting out various ratings that make me think exactly that + my NEW and REVISED 1's list
1Dream Theater
Systematic Chaos

1.0 - DocSportello

The most based and cool 1 on the entire site, and the inspiration for this list, 1'ing a mid-career Dream Theater album carries an unseemly weight of presence and I wished I'd 1'd Train of Thought first. Supremely envious of how cool Doc is for this
Extreme Behavior

1.0 - JotW

Similar to the first entry, this is a classy 1, a 1 that reveals intelligence and good taste. An enlightened, necessary 1 even.
Just be goofy

Literally every pizzamachine rating

pizzamachine's ratings page is a unseemly hellscape of memery and decadence, and one of the most stylized tastes on all of sput. Gas, ABBA, and Amaranthe in their 5's??? I can't look away. Plus the 1's that includes a mandatory obscure celebrity mistake and Jackpot Juicer really tie it all together
4Lady Gaga
Dawn of Chromatica: The Remix Album

4.0 - vult

What a remarkably cool album, a bit lopsided here and there but SO HEAVY I couldn't care less. Talked shit about remix albums and got hit with this, huge respect to vult for their badass taste
5Boards of Canada
Music Has the Right to Children

Anyone who has 5'd this record is cool, yes, even you
Ghost Reveries

1.0 - Pikazilla

Holy inconsistency Batman! Nothing about Pika's taste makes a particular lick of sense to me, even less so with their constant deference to poo metaphors when critiquing music, but its certainly eye-catching. It also helps that they exist somewhere in the wholesome side of the "willful non-engagement" spectrum; this is only one of multiple ratings that are eye-catching and uniquely Pika.
7The Dead C

5.0 - cylinder

Was originally gonna shout out Storm & Stress because they're also awesome and underrated and I was put on them by cylinder, but they haven't actually rated any of their albums yet! Oh well, guess I'll just shout out ANOTHER AWESOME noise rock outfit I found because of them smh
Peace and Love

5.0 - Butkuiss

Few users are as post-irony pilled as Butkuiss, and few have as diverse or interesting ratings pages. This is only one of many cool albums tucked away in their page, but it's pathos really hit me and it's incredibly underrated here
9Jungle Rot
Skin the Living

4.0 - Hyperion1001

100 ratings, 99 5s and a single 4, clearly I'm gonna listen to the 4.0 first.
10Storm and Stress
Under Thunder and Fluorescent Light

4.5 - Winesburgohio

Oh I guess I can shout this out actually lol
Hey What

4.5 - Demon of the Fall

A great rating for a great album, but really Demon's strength is the restraint and control they have over their ratings, and the self control not to overrate or rate too hastily. A mature ratings page, one I am still learning from
Winks & Kisses: Melted

Thus concludes the positive, shoutout portion of this list, beginning with the next entry is my revised 1's, if you ever get angry or experience PTSD from being reminded of any of these albums, just check out this badass Airiel EP, it fucking rules and user myri14 is a g for recommending it
13Bring Me The Horizon
That's the Spirit

Starting out strong with some delicious garbage, That's the Spirit practically deserves an exemption for how hard it begs to be hated. Easy, hard 1.
14Chance the Rapper
The Big Day

Wow this album has aged like shit, really can't think of a bigger musical joke than this. HARD 1.
15Dance Gavin Dance
Jackpot Juicer

Gross. Can I rate albums lower than a 1?
16Dream Theater
Train of Thought

My shameless sportello ripoff pick, good thing I hated his album already. An uncomfy, miserable 1.
17Etienne Sin
The Art of Stealing Hearts

This is actually my favorite album of all time

I hate this album. I hate this album so much. This album is like if Shawn Mendes was a neckbeard sadboi rapper. I hate this album, I hate gnash, I wanna punch him right in his stupid fucking glasses. 0.0.

My coziest 1
Extreme Behavior

I WILL keep stealing Johnny opinions actually
21Imagine Dragons

Another 0.0. Technically this includes Origins and Mercury 1 & 2 but does my ratings page really need me to 1 all those albums? I don't think so.
22Jason Derulo
Talk Dirty

My most ironic 1
...And Justice for All

My most divisive 1, I WILL NOT defend this choice, please dispense all complaints in the shredder xoxo
24Nine Lashes

Christian post-grunge band turns twinkly pop hellscape ez 0.0
25Raptor Command

lol I haven't actually listened to this

Okay THIS is my most divisive 1 ackshually, will take criticism for this as it is probably unwarranted
27Sleep Token
Take Me Back to Eden


28Steven Seagal
Songs From the Crystal Cave

Obligatory celebrity misstep, 1'd not for the prestige but for the overuse of 'poonani'
29Theory of a Deadman
Wake Up Call

Does my 1's list need this actually? Feels redundant, which I really tried to purge my 1's list of. Hmmmm

Edit: it's been removed from my ratings
30Jon Bellion
The Human Condition

This album is the reason I'm alone and masturbate
31Kanye West
Jesus Is King

Is it the only Kanye worth 1'ing? Nah. Is it the most deserving Kanye 1? Certainly not. Is it the funniest Kanye album to 1? Hell yeah it is
32Maroon 5

A comfy 1, a 1 I've harbored since I was a wee boy and first perused the rock charts in hopes of something badass like Thousand Foot Krutch... speaking of...
33Thousand Foot Krutch
Oxygen: Inhale




34Tom MacDonald

Therapeutic 1
Fear Inoculum

Therapeutic 1 [2]
Save Me San Francisco


Everything wrong with rock music is really captured here, which is probably why I felt so comfy dropping Theory of a Deadman; we've been at radio rock bottom for twenty years now
Shadow Work

Words fail me. True 0.0
39Texas Hippie Coalition
Pride of Texas

Bebududbudbabathat's all folks!
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